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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by rskontos on February 4, 2008, at 21:52:29
In reply to Re: I got strongly triggered by these shows., posted by Dinah on February 3, 2008, at 23:50:10
Oh mine doesn't have all these emotions either. He is too seasoned for that. I think he is close to retirement too. I have the emotions for both of us..lol In fact, with him I have more than ever. But then again, I went because I was losing my emotions and i wanted therapy to help me recover them and boy did it. Be careful of what you wish for is certainly true in my case. I am, in therapy, a bundle of emotions. eventually at home, i gain control. And the cycle begins again in therapy.
After watching tonight's second show with Laura, the one that proclaimed her love for him, I am mixed on his mind about her. At first I thought he was into her, but tonight he shut the door I thought in his mind. I think he is doing the barely shutting the door on his emotions to make the show more interesting. Because lets face it, if he had all his ducks in a row, it might be a little less provoking. And i guess that makes a better show.
rsk
Posted by Daisym on February 4, 2008, at 22:24:37
In reply to Re: I got strongly triggered by these shows., posted by rskontos on February 4, 2008, at 21:52:29
I agree that the drama of a TV show was in play tonight. Because there were several times when I wanted to ask - whose in therapy here?
However, I loved the scene about the bathroom. She had him dead-to-rights on that one. It was about seeing or being seen by the wife. I was thinking about this. My therapist's office is right next door to his wife's and she is in her office 1x a week when I'm there. I HATE it. I feel exposed and we've talked a lot about what comes up for me. I can't imagine doing therapy in his house with his life just beyond the walls. Too intimate for me. I decided tonight that I'd find Paul's office scary. Too dark and secluded downstairs, away from the world. I like being up in the trees.
Has anyone talked to their therapist about the show? Mine said today that he has seen is once - but he didn't see Laura and he didn't watch Friday. When I told him about the "if my patients could see what I was thinking" comment he said, "I don't think you should watch this. We already have a hard enough time with you trying to be perfect." No chance, buddy. But I bet we'll have great conversations about this.
Posted by Dinah on February 5, 2008, at 0:07:55
In reply to Re: I got strongly triggered by these shows., posted by Daisym on February 4, 2008, at 22:24:37
What struck me was that yes, he did seem attracted, and yes he did seem to like the idea that she found him attractive. But it really had nothing whatsoever to do with her. It had to do with his wife, and how he felt about himself. He doesn't even seem to like this client overly much. When she was talking about her fiance's description of his former girlfriend, you could see the therapist thinking that this one was pretty much the same.
Maybe it's me, but I wouldn't feel terribly flattered by that.
On the other hand, it looks like he's going to try to ditch her next week, and that makes me feel a bit angry. Even if he feels like his countertransference is too much for him to handle, the previews make it sound like he's twisting it around a lot.
And Daisy, I agree with you. She was making a lot more dead on interpretations of him than vice versa. :(
Posted by Dinah on February 5, 2008, at 0:09:55
In reply to Re: I got strongly triggered by these shows., posted by Dinah on February 5, 2008, at 0:07:55
Also, doesn't he have an extremely expressive face for a therapist? Makes for good TV perhaps, but only for good therapy if he can make his face say what he *wants* it to say.
Posted by Dinah on February 5, 2008, at 0:20:36
In reply to Re: I got strongly triggered by these shows., posted by Daisym on February 4, 2008, at 22:24:37
Probably projection on my part, but I got the feeling that the bathroom thing wasn't just about the wife seeing or being seen. And a lot about boundaries. He didn't want his patients, and particularly not this patient, in the area where he lives. He wanted her to stay in his office, in his professional area.
But that's a pet issue of mine, and that may be why I'm reading it that way. My therapist and I were both approaching the elevator at the same time a couple of sessions ago, and based on previous experiences, we didn't acknowledge each other beyond a wry smile. My weighing riding in an elevator with him with the silliness of refusing to ride in an elevator with him was probably written clearly on my face.
Posted by rskontos on February 5, 2008, at 9:41:21
In reply to Re: I got strongly triggered by these shows., posted by Dinah on February 5, 2008, at 0:20:36
I think that for this therapist Paul, he must show how he is feeling due to show aspect yet as I am saying this my own therapist has his puzzled look that drives me crazy and sometimes I think he gets sleepy too. So IRL they show stuff they maybe shouldn't either. Or we are just smart therapee's:)
Maybe the bathroom was both: he did not want her to see his wife possible and to keep the boundaries straight so he could keep her a possible intrusion out of his life. He may be tempted due to the nature of the frustrations with his wife. Since he shared with his therapist of old, since I forgot her name, his wife's unexplained absences, and their own lack of sex, this patient may be a temptation so hence he needs to especially keep her separate. And she felt that. Just my take.
rsk
Posted by rskontos on February 5, 2008, at 9:42:21
In reply to Re: I got strongly triggered by these shows., posted by rskontos on February 5, 2008, at 9:41:21
Oh yeah, mine has watched it. I don't know how many more episodes he has watched. He did watch the pilot one.
rsk
Posted by sassyfrancesca on February 5, 2008, at 10:38:18
In reply to Re: I got strongly triggered by these shows., posted by rskontos on February 4, 2008, at 21:52:29
I hadn't heard of that show. I have been in love with my t for 5 years.......he has allowed me to "see" him; we have had many discussions about our feelings; I could write a book.
We are both going to the American Counseling Association Convention in Hawaii.......oh, the fantasies, LOL, LOL
Smiles, Francesca
P.S. How do you watch that show on the internet? technically challenged!
Posted by rskontos on February 5, 2008, at 13:29:05
In reply to Re: I got strongly triggered by these shows., posted by sassyfrancesca on February 5, 2008, at 10:38:18
Sassyfrancesca, just go the hbo website. I think it is hbo.com and follow the links. It is very easy. When i got to the hbo main site, the link is in very big box, click and you are there. The shows are only 30 minutes long...
rsk
Posted by RealMe on February 6, 2008, at 10:09:04
In reply to Anyone seen InTreatment? (transference issues), posted by glamorama on February 3, 2008, at 13:01:15
Just recently I watch the pilot and the second episode. It was okay, but it sure wasn't like my therapy. I would not be able to get that comfy.
RealMe
Posted by Daisym on February 6, 2008, at 11:13:55
In reply to Re: Anyone seen InTreatment? (transference issues) » glamorama, posted by RealMe on February 6, 2008, at 10:09:04
Really? What does that mean? You don't sit on the couch and pull your feet up? (I do) OR is it the level of confrontation? I could NeVER do that. In fact, I want to ask today if that is more common than I think. I don't treat anyone like that though, so maybe it is.
I think I'd like to be more able to just say what I'm thinking but that feels so impolite and not relevent mostly.
Posted by sassyfrancesca on February 6, 2008, at 12:35:33
In reply to Re: Anyone seen InTreatment? (transference issues) » RealMe, posted by Daisym on February 6, 2008, at 11:13:55
I say just what I am thinking! LOL, LOL
Of course, I check myself and don't say everything I want to; but I am quite free!
My t says he likes my "immediacy!"
Posted by seldomseen on February 7, 2008, at 2:34:11
In reply to Re: Anyone seen InTreatment? (transference issues) » RealMe, posted by Daisym on February 6, 2008, at 11:13:55
My T is astoundingly like Paul on the show, at least the way he is with Laura. Mis mannerisms are also very similar. I wonder if My T consulted on the show? (Ha Ha)
He's constantly providing different interpretations of things and asking if I have considered this and that.
I think what I found so triggering about the show, however, was how poorly (IMO) he handled her revelation of how she felt about him. Especially the second episode. He seemed to be just flummoxed.
My T never was upset, or even phased by it. He just took it all in stride. Even times when I pressed him, like Laura did Paul, he never made it about himself, he kept it about me and my feelings. It was frustrating as hell, but even when I was trying to put the focus on him, he was putting it right back on me.
Anyway - my thoughts.
Seldom.
Posted by seldomseen on February 7, 2008, at 3:51:24
In reply to Re: Anyone seen InTreatment? (transference issues) » Daisym, posted by seldomseen on February 7, 2008, at 2:34:11
Okay, I think I am ready to talk about this now.
I also don't think Paul should have let Laura get away with saying that she was only going to marry her boyfriend because Paul wasn't going to be with her.
To me, that is emotional blackmail and if I had done anything like that, my T would've called me out on it. But Laura is a very smart woman and I suspect that Paul is going to have his hands full dealing with her.
I think it is very telling that Paul's counselor asked Paul if he thought that falling Laura's falling in love with him was necessary for her healing.
I don't know how valid that statement is as far as psychological theory, but I think it is true for some patients - at least it was for me. It was necessary step for me in my recovery to be able to feel love for someone and be treated with respect and kindess in return.
I'm also coming to terms with the fact that psychiatrists use the term transference to refer to the feelings that develop in the therapy room. It used to really bother me and I would feel very minimized by it. But I think it is necessary for the therapist to label it as such in order to keep themselves out of the fray of emotions and remain a witness.
Ultimately, I think therapy has got to remain about the patient/client and I do think the therapist has got to remain a neutral soundingboard for us. As much as we may try to bring them personally into our therapy, the focus has got to stay on us. As much as possible they've got stay out of it.
I see this very clearly illustrated in Paul's final remarks to Laura in which she asked him point blank "do you want me". Paul interjected himself right into that question and said "No". In doing so he made that therapeutic moment about his desires and wants and took Laura, his client right out of the picture.
It will be very interesting, albeit difficult to watch to see how he handles the situation with her next week.
Seldom
Posted by rskontos on February 7, 2008, at 8:45:37
In reply to Re: Anyone seen InTreatment? (transference issues), posted by seldomseen on February 7, 2008, at 3:51:24
Seldom, Yes I see that he is partly interested, he admitted to his recently recovered therapist that he and his wife are not having sex and that she (his wife) is often MIA and he doesn't know where she is. But yet he would not let her to the bathroom in an attempt to keep her separate from his personal life, I think. She called him on it. It will be interesting to see how it unfolds. I don't think I like the pilot much. And the gymnast hits close to him for me. I watched that last night and it triggered me for some reason. I had some pretty intense flashbacks. All night.
rsk
Posted by Dinah on February 7, 2008, at 16:29:12
In reply to Re: Anyone seen InTreatment? (transference issues), posted by seldomseen on February 7, 2008, at 3:51:24
I agree with you that "No" was an inappropriate answer. I know it's a delicate situation, but in my opion, some variation "it really doesn't matter" is the best answer to that question.
I'm not sure how that ties into the fact that I'm glad my therapist is willing to tell me that he cares about me. Except maybe that I'm not asking him for anything he isn't allowed to give. And his answer is not all that specific.
Does your therapist really ask the same sort of questions as Paul? If I manage to get past Paul's intensity, I still think my therapist is less pointed in his comments.
There was an exchange on Monk that really reminded me of my therapist the other day. Monk said something like "At least I didn't dig Trudy up and have her stuffed" and Dr. Kroger answered, deadpan, "I've always been very proud of you for that."
*That* is more like my therapist.
Posted by seldomseen on February 7, 2008, at 21:13:39
In reply to Re: Anyone seen InTreatment? (transference issues) » seldomseen, posted by Dinah on February 7, 2008, at 16:29:12
My therapist is a lot like Paul. I mean a lot. He asks very very pointed questions, but in a very thoughtful way.
He can be very intense and very direct. I've always appreciated that. It was easier for me to trust him in a way. Trust what he said, because I knew he just wasn't going through the motions you know - well sometimes he does. But what are you going to do.
I will admit there have been times when he has just flabbergasted me, like the time he told me to suck it up. I was just aghast.
He usually asks me why I'm really upset and it's probably not becuase of blah blah blah.
Anyway, gotta work.
Seldom.
Posted by Dinah on February 7, 2008, at 22:18:36
In reply to Re: Anyone seen InTreatment? (transference issues) » Dinah, posted by seldomseen on February 7, 2008, at 21:13:39
I guess we all respond differently. My therapist's laid back, nonconfrontational, style suits me. He's more likely to ask nonpointed questions. Or accept something outrageous that I'm saying. Or a lot of time he points things out in stories rather than directly. He may lead me to a thought, but he makes me say it.
In Wednesday's show Paul reminded me more of my therapist. Which makes sense really given our relationship. He wasn't as direct with her. And his less direct and gentler approach got through to her where directness wouldn't. That's really much closer although I'm not nearly as angry as she is. I'm more of a daddy's girl with him.
I told him the other day that I thought I was a daddy's girl without a daddy. He thought that was very insightful of me. :D
Posted by RealMe on February 7, 2008, at 23:28:43
In reply to Re: Anyone seen InTreatment? (transference issues) » RealMe, posted by Daisym on February 6, 2008, at 11:13:55
I guess what I am saying is that at first I sat in a chair acrosss from him with the couch to the side. So I was sitting further away than the couch. Then I sat on the far end of the couch. See he was talking about me lying down on the couch with him behind and to the side of my head. So, now I sit sort of in the middle of the couch. My comment has to do with my level of trust. It is hard for me to trust anyone, and so with my therapist, I don't get too comfortable. I would like to, but I just can't. When I see people, it's okay with me if they get comfortable depending on the circumstance. I don't know if that explains things or not.
RealMe
Posted by RealMe on February 7, 2008, at 23:32:16
In reply to Re: Anyone seen InTreatment? (transference issues), posted by seldomseen on February 7, 2008, at 3:51:24
I guess I am really out of it; haven't watched enough episodes to know what you are talking about. I saw the one lady two episode. The gymnast I have seen one episode, and I gather her coach is having sex with her; at least it seemed that was so, and the T knows it even though she won;t say it.
RealMe
Posted by rskontos on February 8, 2008, at 11:57:12
In reply to Re: Anyone seen InTreatment? (transference issues), posted by rskontos on February 7, 2008, at 8:45:37
Now the cool thing about having HBO High Def and HBØ in general is I was able to watch the entire series through Friday and I will not spoil it but I saw the couple series and Paul and his wife along with his therapist. It is interesting to see myself in Paul when he is sitting on the side of the table or chair as us. He rambled or rather jumped around as if his therapist was in his head much like I feel I do and of course she had the puzzled look on her face much like mine has too at times. So now I understand that the puzzled look is because of course Paul left important stuff out that we the audience knew but she did not because she was not watching like we were. Anymore than my t-doc is at home or in my head either. I think i will go into my sessions trying to have a little more clarity.
And I do understand sometimes clarity is hard when your head is filled with conflicting emotions. Overall for me, this show is helping. My t-doc does ask questions like that. I think for me, my t-doc is still assessing me. So he must ask them and he is an intense doc I think. I maybe need to pay more attention to him as a person. rsk
Posted by Annierose on February 8, 2008, at 14:56:50
In reply to Re: Anyone seen InTreatment? (transference issues), posted by rskontos on February 8, 2008, at 11:57:12
I really really like the show. Since it is a drama made for TV, I think the therapeutic relationship is moving at a fairly fast clip compared to my therapy. Paul makes interpretations like crazy. But in general, his style of questions and remarks he chooses to comment on is very much like my t. My therapist is warmer and uses her sense of humor more.
I agree with others that these clients all seem very confrontational. Only babble has given me the courage to ask some of those delicate questions.
Tears streamed down my face with Sophie hugged Kate. How desperately lonely her world is.
I especially like how Paul "takes care" of his clients. How intimate to get his daughter's clothes for Sophie to change into. I don't think many therapist would do that. I like how he offers a blanket if they are cold or if they would like tea or coffee. And, of course, Gina. That relationship is so interesting to me. On Fridays we get to hear what Paul is really thinking as he goes through his week with those clients.
Everyone has their own stuff. Therapists included.
With the writer's strike, it's the one show I look forward to watching.
Posted by Happyflower on February 8, 2008, at 15:56:26
In reply to Re: Anyone seen InTreatment? (transference issues), posted by Annierose on February 8, 2008, at 14:56:50
YOu all got me all interested now. Still need to catch up, but the Monday show that deals with erotic transference and I am going to say erotic counter transference is kinda hard for me to watch. But I loved the what His T said to him about every failing T's marriage, brings out erotic tranference in his clients or something like that. It does go 2 ways, and I am glad he told her no. She was very insistent on a yes or no, and he answered her what he should have. Sooo I have to catch up because I could only read the recaps on the 1st week. I have ONdemand, but I can't get it to work lately.
Posted by rskontos on February 8, 2008, at 18:54:37
In reply to Re: Anyone seen InTreatment? (transference issues), posted by Happyflower on February 8, 2008, at 15:56:26
Yes, the ondemand feature I was able to watch ahead. It was great. I watched them all back to back. I hate to wait.
The t to t relationship is interesting because sometimes I think Gina is right and sometimes she is off. Nice to know.
rsk
Posted by Happyflower on February 8, 2008, at 22:27:49
In reply to Re: Anyone seen InTreatment? (transference issues) » Happyflower, posted by rskontos on February 8, 2008, at 18:54:37
Rk,
I finally called Comcast and they reset my box, so I saw the full episodes back to back. I still have this weeks Thurs. and Fri. to catch up. But I like the show, it is very interesting, so now I will have 2 TV shows I watch Survivor and In Session, isn't that ironic! lol
Makes me want to call up my T and tell his *ss to watch especially Monday's. What an idiot he is, really. He should have seeked supervision, like it was suggested to this T, but did he listen? nooooooo, that is because I think they like it for their ego. yup! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
This is the end of the thread.
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