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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by nolegirl23 on May 1, 2007, at 21:48:08
I've always lived with SOMEBODY, roommates to boyfriends to different boyfriends.. I've never had my own place, nor have I ever had to sit and deal with my own emotions and feelings and the lonliness..
It is so hard, I am so depressed because it is just me and I feel this emptiness as if there should be somebody ANYBODY else here to just let me know that I'm not alone.. It is so rediculous. I am 26, why can't I stand to sit here by myself without feeling this overwhelming sadness?
My whole goad in life was to be self sufficient, I am self sufficient in every way execpt for the fact that sitting in my house alone makes me feel awful. Does anybody else go through this, and if you do, how do you deal?
Posted by Declan on May 2, 2007, at 0:12:08
In reply to Can't stand being alone - WHY?, posted by nolegirl23 on May 1, 2007, at 21:48:08
The fashion these days, especially for younger women, is to be self sufficient and avoid entanglements that interfere with autonomy.
This has its advantages, but one of the downsides is the loneliness that is so common.
Its not you in particular.The question is 'what can you do about it?'
Posted by gazo on May 2, 2007, at 12:10:04
In reply to Re: Can't stand being alone - WHY?, posted by Declan on May 2, 2007, at 0:12:08
i don't think it's entirely a sign of the times... my mom was completely dependent financially on her husband and she had kids.. but she was terribly lonely.
i am a believer in a lot of Buddhist ideas, and they talk a lot about that loneliness.. and it'a global, and not limited to women by any means. Most people just find ways to tune it out.. constantly listening to music, reading, TV, other people... whatever. Some use drugs. It comes down to not wanting to be alone with ourselves.
but regardless of what philosophies you follow, the thing to do when one feels the pressure of a shrinking boundary is to push back...hard. If you try harder to avoid that feeling, the world will shrink a little more each time. Try spending set amounts of time alone.. short periods and then lengthen them. Try it in the same setting at first, like your home, and then try other places.
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on May 2, 2007, at 16:17:44
In reply to Re: Can't stand being alone - WHY?, posted by gazo on May 2, 2007, at 12:10:04
I got a cat.
I was developing a phobia around living alone. It was bad.
At least with the cat I know that I need to be home twice a day for feeding and once for scooping. And the rest of the day, I can call cat's name and he comes running. That helps a lot.
So does staring out a window and finding something beautiful. There is less loneliness when the world and you are sharing something beautiful.
Sometimes I leave the TV on all day long. just to hear voices. I think some primitive part of my brain feels more connected that way.
Any chance you can get a roommate? or a feline/canine/murine roommate?
It's nice to feel needed.
Posted by nolegirl23 on May 2, 2007, at 17:58:05
In reply to Re: Can't stand being alone - WHY? » gazo, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on May 2, 2007, at 16:17:44
> I got a cat.
>
> I was developing a phobia around living alone. It was bad.
>
> At least with the cat I know that I need to be home twice a day for feeding and once for scooping. And the rest of the day, I can call cat's name and he comes running. That helps a lot.
>
> So does staring out a window and finding something beautiful. There is less loneliness when the world and you are sharing something beautiful.
>
> Sometimes I leave the TV on all day long. just to hear voices. I think some primitive part of my brain feels more connected that way.
>
> Any chance you can get a roommate? or a feline/canine/murine roommate?
>
> It's nice to feel needed.
First of all, thank you all for your responses.
In reference to the above post, YES, I DO have a cat. I love my cat, she is like my daughter. I actually ask her questions (strange as it sounds, she 'meows' in response). I love her company, and she is very entertaining. I guess I feel like I am missing out on something that everybody else in the world is experiencing - human companionship.I have had roommates all of my life (since I was 18), I am 26 now. This is my second month living alone. At first I loved the fact that I was officially independent, self-sufficient, and capable of living life on my own. I actually felt confident for once, as if I didn't need to depend on anybody.
But then the lonliness set in, and the sadness, and the feeling that everybody but me has somebody, and having somebody would give me peace..
I just feel so alone sometimes..
Posted by Meri-Tuuli on May 3, 2007, at 6:19:03
In reply to Re: Can't stand being alone - WHY?, posted by nolegirl23 on May 2, 2007, at 17:58:05
>I just feel so alone sometimes
I think we all feel like that, even through we live with people or whatever. You know, you can even be in a crowded room and feel lonely...etc etc.
But I think I know what you're saying.
Perhaps getting some good close friends counts?
I find that they help me alot.
Perhaps get a dog? They're alot less independant than cats.
This is the end of the thread.
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