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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by gazo on May 2, 2007, at 14:50:59
is it weird to keep re-playing the voicemail he left? i mean, isn't that obssessive or something? He isn't magic, why would i be so into hearing his voice? i feel freakish but there is something very rewarding about doing it.
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on May 2, 2007, at 16:14:01
In reply to is this weird?, posted by gazo on May 2, 2007, at 14:50:59
I do the same thing. I make sure I have at least 1 voicemail saved on my phone.
something about the voice makes me feel safer.
I don't think that's strange at all.
-Ll
Posted by TherapyGirl on May 2, 2007, at 17:43:49
In reply to is this weird?, posted by gazo on May 2, 2007, at 14:50:59
Been there, done that. I currently have 10 voice mails saved, all from my T.
I don't know how it works for you, but for me when I'm not feeling safe, her voice can often calm me down and remind me HOW to feel safe myself. Does that make any sense?
Posted by gazo on May 2, 2007, at 18:57:48
In reply to is this weird?, posted by gazo on May 2, 2007, at 14:50:59
it makes me feel like a stalker or something..
Posted by Dinah on May 2, 2007, at 19:13:25
In reply to Re: is this weird?, posted by gazo on May 2, 2007, at 18:57:48
My therapist was ok with it. It made me feel a bit weird, but he thought it was relatively normal attachment behavior.
Posted by LadyBug on May 2, 2007, at 19:46:25
In reply to is this weird?, posted by gazo on May 2, 2007, at 14:50:59
That's not weird at all! I do the voice mail thing all the time. I like to listen to them over and over when I want to hear her voice. It's comforting to me when I'm wishing for that connection we share. I'm certain it's pretty normal!
Posted by pegasus on May 2, 2007, at 20:37:10
In reply to is this weird?, posted by gazo on May 2, 2007, at 14:50:59
A lot of us have messages from long ago saved for times when we need extra comfort. In terms of object relations theory, I think it would be considered a transitional object, like a security blanket. Helps you touch back to your connection and helpful attachment to your T.
Plus, I figure a voicemail is a gift from your T to you.
I used to have this great long, chatty message from my T asking me if I could change my session time that week, and mentioning in a sweet jokey way something we'd talked about in the previous session. I accidentally deleted it a few months back, and I cried when I realized it. I wish I could have saved it forever.
peg
Posted by canadagirl on May 2, 2007, at 20:46:16
In reply to is this weird?, posted by gazo on May 2, 2007, at 14:50:59
I've kept emails and letters the old T sent and I do read them from time to time. I don't think it's odd to want to connect in whatever way, I will NEVER get rid of them.
Posted by muffled on May 3, 2007, at 15:51:00
In reply to is this weird?, posted by gazo on May 2, 2007, at 14:50:59
> is it weird to keep re-playing the voicemail he left? i mean, isn't that obssessive or something? He isn't magic, why would i be so into hearing his voice? i feel freakish but there is something very rewarding about doing it.
>
>Oh MAN!!! Gazo, if its weird, so am I!!!
I think like the others said. Its like a connection to our T. We hear the voice, we are reminded they DO exist. It calms us.
Its a way for us to connect with our T, but not be intrusive, as so many of us worry about.
There have been times where I been so distressed, that I've literally listened REPEATEDLY to the same short message. Like maybe 10x!!In a row!!! Dunno, wasn't counting. Just the voice made me feel safe I guess. The words didn't matter.
So to me its not about stalking, it about being soothed in a way that works for me, and that my T proly don't mind. I have somewhat mentioned it in passing in my faxes.
That being said....I am trying to get up the nerve to ask my T to leave me a message thats calming? or something, cuz we in a weird place in T. Arrgh, I can tell my T to 'shove it', but I can't ask for something nice???!!! I am such a nut.
Sigh, the joys of T.
You take care Gazo,
Muffled
Posted by gazo on May 3, 2007, at 17:18:24
In reply to Re: is this weird? » gazo, posted by muffled on May 3, 2007, at 15:51:00
ok.. so now i am having this identity crisis!! i am worried that my name is actually muffled and i live someplace else. i seem to have a parallel universie thingy happening.... Muffy girl, you're freaking me out. :p
i was also considering asking him to leave me a calming message... but i am too afraid. i am afraid of being intrusive.. i even apologized for calling him even though the call was about a scheduling question! Nothing freaky in it.. there was something freaky in the voicemail he left though :oS
and i listen to the message over and over several times in a row.. like a LOT.
and hahaha... maybe we're ALL strange? hahaha.. just joking guys... :p
> Oh MAN!!! Gazo, if its weird, so am I!!!
> I think like the others said. Its like a connection to our T. We hear the voice, we are reminded they DO exist. It calms us.
> Its a way for us to connect with our T, but not be intrusive, as so many of us worry about.
> There have been times where I been so distressed, that I've literally listened REPEATEDLY to the same short message. Like maybe 10x!!In a row!!! Dunno, wasn't counting. Just the voice made me feel safe I guess. The words didn't matter.
> So to me its not about stalking, it about being soothed in a way that works for me, and that my T proly don't mind. I have somewhat mentioned it in passing in my faxes.
> That being said....I am trying to get up the nerve to ask my T to leave me a message thats calming? or something, cuz we in a weird place in T. Arrgh, I can tell my T to 'shove it', but I can't ask for something nice???!!! I am such a nut.
> Sigh, the joys of T.
> You take care Gazo,
> Muffled
Posted by gazo on May 3, 2007, at 17:26:50
In reply to is this weird?, posted by gazo on May 2, 2007, at 14:50:59
you know.. i am seeing so many commonalities about how WE feel as clients/patients/whatever.. i'm thinking about compiling writings about that.. not using anyone else's posts but inspiration from them, here and elsewhere.
it seems to me that the idea of transference for example has volumes and volumes about understanding it clinically.. what about how it *feels*?
what about how we all seem to be afraid of intruding on our T's time/space?
see what i mean? is there such a book/compilation now?
like "a client/patient's guide to how weird you will feel in therapy?" :p
or as muffy said "the joys of T"
i can't count how many times someone has said "oh, look in the archives about X, it's all there.." and so i do and i can't make heads or tails of it because of how google works.. the topics are concisely put together. Like... wouldn't it be great if we could look at a topic index? well, that's what i am thinking of doing, on my own outside of this site.
i might as well.. i am researching this $h1t 24/7 anyway so i'd even have all brainy-looking references. Plus i have a lot of sites to look at to get the common stuff people feel. He11, i can even ask people for bits.
gots no job. might as well do something other than help keep my couch from floating away.
Posted by Daisym on May 3, 2007, at 19:34:41
In reply to a weird book?, posted by gazo on May 3, 2007, at 17:26:50
There is a book -- several actually -- but the one passed around here the most is "In Session". I also like "A General Theory of Love" and "The Talking Cure." Almost anything by Yalom has the message of transference but it is particularly strong in "The Gift of Therapy."
All that said - I agree there is great wisdom on these boards. My therapist agrees.
Posted by gazo on May 3, 2007, at 20:45:53
In reply to Re: a weird book? » gazo, posted by Daisym on May 3, 2007, at 19:34:41
those books aren't what i mean... they are written by T's... i want the other side
Posted by Daisym on May 3, 2007, at 20:55:37
In reply to Re: a weird book? » Daisym, posted by gazo on May 3, 2007, at 20:45:53
Have you read "In Session"? It is all from the client side.
Not that another book wouldn't be great...
Posted by gazo on May 3, 2007, at 22:22:39
In reply to Re: a weird book? » gazo, posted by Daisym on May 3, 2007, at 20:55:37
i thought one was from a T as well.. oh, shows you what i know.:P
i was thinking transference was just one thing.. there are so many weird and wonderful things that seem to be common among us.
Posted by Daisym on May 3, 2007, at 23:14:37
In reply to Re: a weird book? » Daisym, posted by gazo on May 3, 2007, at 22:22:39
No - you were right. Several of the books I recommended were written by therapists. But In Session was actually written by a journalist who interviewed clients and wrote about how people feel in therapy, etc.
I've think there are many issues that come up on this board that therapists have very little training about. And I don't think they read what we read, often, if ever. Dinah has said she thinks In Session should be required reading for new therapists. Especially those that don't have to have a theraputic experience to get their license. If they've never been "on the couch" how can they really understand what it feels like?
This is the end of the thread.
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