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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 85 to 109 of 135. Go back in thread:
Posted by Dinah on May 16, 2005, at 20:18:34
In reply to Useful psychology and psychotherapy books, posted by Dinah on March 17, 2005, at 22:14:56
I ended up not liking "The Dependent Patient: A Practitioner's Guide" as much as I had thought. It got too technical in the end, with too few illustrative stories. I live for those stories.
I also scanned "Somatoform Dissociation" and don't understand one word in three. I think I understood enough to see it doesn't apply to me. :( The perils of shopping at Amazon.
I think I'm going to have to figure out what to do with all those extra books that I don't really think I want to re-read or use as a reference. I was always afraid to give them away for fear they would somehow give away my hobby. But now that I've come clean with my therapist, I suppose it wouldn't be such a fearful thing.
I spent the weekend putting up a five shelf bookshelf in my closet, and added a couple of extra shelves. It still doesn't fit my entire Pych book collection. All of the magazines, a few textbooks, the books on the mind/brain, and a few specialized books are still where they used to be. :( I really do need to do a purge.
I have almost no books on dissociation I like. "The Myth of Sanity" and "The Stranger in the Mirror" are the only two that come to mind.
Posted by Crackers on May 27, 2006, at 2:25:42
In reply to Re: My favorite books on dissociation, posted by Dinah on September 22, 2004, at 20:24:11
My male psychologist asked me to read "In Session" when I HAD BEEN TRYING, FOR OVER A MONTH, TO DISCUSS WITH HIM THE ISSUE OF TRANSFERENCE AND COUNTER TRANSFERENCE. I read that book 5 times and couldn't believe what I was reading. To me it sounded like each one of these women in the book were being sexually abused by their pyschologists and that it was useful in therapy. I had to take a month off of therapy with him and spoke to several other councellors and male friends to find out their opinion on certain behaviours my therapists displayed. I then booked an appointment with my therapist to ask him why he asked me to read the book. His defence he thought it would be useful. So I told him my opinion of the book. He apologized and suggested we go out for a smoke together. For the duration of that appointment we stared at each other. Next day, I fired my psychologist. I hadn't had one sexual thought or fantasy about my psychologist but my psychologist insisted on physical contact without asking for consent first. He would also have these subconversations about sex, always discuss my sexual tendencies and try to get me to talk to him on a non professional basis.
Hope this is some help and it's not too late.
Alison B.>An easy subject to start with, because it's a >very short list.
>
> "The Myth of Sanity" by Martha Stout is my very very favorite. This book changed my life. It normalized so many things that scared me before. It is written in a no-nonsense non-sensational manner that is very reassuring. And it talks about milder dissociative experiences that resonate with me. It and "In Session" would be the two books I always want in arms reach.
>
> The other one I like is "The Stranger in the Mirror" by Marlene Steinberg. It is written in a similar straightforward and calm manner and contains some snippets based on Steinberg's dissociative disorder structured clinical interview.
>
> Has anyone read either of these books? If so, what did you think of them? Do you have other dissociative disorders favorites?
Posted by Dinah on May 27, 2006, at 10:57:52
In reply to Re: In Session » Dinah, posted by Crackers on May 27, 2006, at 2:25:42
I'm sorry you had such a bad experience and had a bad reaction to "In Session". My therapist has never stepped a toe out of line, and I'm sure he's not in any way attracted to me. I'm also not at all attracted to him. But I found the book useful in normalizing my strong maternal transference to him, and in discovering what I *didn't* feel for him.
Posted by Crackers on May 27, 2006, at 14:24:31
In reply to Re: In Session » Crackers, posted by Dinah on May 27, 2006, at 10:57:52
Threw my experience I learned not to doubt my self anymore. Glad your therapist didn't jump on to the sofa with you and kick off his shoes. I kept blaming myself until my male friends told me that straight up that they knew me well enough to know I wouldn't have provoked the situation.
Posted by susan47 on May 28, 2006, at 0:49:31
In reply to Re: In Session » Dinah, posted by Crackers on May 27, 2006, at 2:25:42
Weird, weird behaviour.
People do the strangest things.
Don't they ...
Even psychologists, doctors lawyers indian chiefs the cook the baker the candlestick maker .. teachers ... nurses and clerks, mechanics and yes, even .. gardeners. Everyone is weird, and odd, and a bit off, sometimes and in their own ways.
Oi.
Posted by susan47 on May 28, 2006, at 1:54:39
In reply to Re: In Session » Dinah, posted by Crackers on May 27, 2006, at 2:25:42
P.S., Crackers, you actually didn't say very much to back up your story. What's going on? Is there a thread about your story? It just sounds so weird, this T but it also kind of sounds like maybe you misinterpreted some things, I mean it just doesn't really make a lot of sense. What's the story?
Posted by Crackers on May 28, 2006, at 14:09:16
In reply to Re: In Session » Crackers, posted by susan47 on May 28, 2006, at 1:54:39
I have PTSD. Most recent assault was Dec/05 when an intimate boyfriend decided to strangle me while having sex. My therapist and I have been working through making a police report, etc. After making the police report my therapist offered me a hug and I accepted. Then in future visits he started to tell me how beautiful I was. When he read my police report he hinted at how good I must be at sex. During appointments me would stare at me and smile. He continued to offer me hugs and I accepted but started to feel uncomfortable. I then tried to communicate this to him but he avoided the subject. His behavoir then all of a sudden became more professional. He started making comments about how smart I was and I should become a therapist, he suggested that he could be my mentor but mentoring doesn't pay and encouraged me to visit him outside of session. He then gave me "In Session" to read and that's when he joined me on the sofa and kicked off his shoes. Since then I started seeking advice from other therapists and social workers and male friends because I didn't want to believe what I was seeing. I haven't been sexually aroused since Dec/05. I also asked my closest male friends if I provoke the situation and they all said no. What do you think was going on?
Posted by Crackers on May 28, 2006, at 14:20:43
In reply to Re: In Session » Crackers, posted by susan47 on May 28, 2006, at 1:54:39
I should also add that since the start of May I began to see a new councellor. Since then my old therapist has invited me to come see him outside of session and he's back to being all friendly again. He also suggests that we have a powerful connection between us.
Posted by susan47 on May 28, 2006, at 14:59:29
In reply to Re: In Session, posted by Crackers on May 28, 2006, at 14:09:16
Oh. It sounds like stuff I went through, the bad sex and strangling, but I don't know how much I told the T about that. I haven't finished your post about the therapist, oh dear, this could not be good.
Posted by susan47 on May 28, 2006, at 15:16:08
In reply to Re: In Session, posted by Crackers on May 28, 2006, at 14:20:43
Poor man. He's a bit deluded, if all that's really going on. Wow. He needs to take Freud's advice, you know, the five-year help sessions or something. Where he gets to see a psych and he gets to deal with his own issues.
You have to protect yourself and just pity him right now, don't make him defensive by telling him, but just stop seeing him. If he makes any effort at all to communicate with you and you haven't called him for a client/therapist reason, you might tell him very gently and kindly that he's welcome to join you for a session or two with your new psych. Only don't tell him it might be permanent. These poor people have a tremendous load to bear, I think. They've chosen a really difficult profession. I'm jsut about three chapters into this fab book which might be helpful, I'm hoping it'll make me understand better what happens in the therapy office .. all right, now right there is an issue, it's not a therapy room, it's an Office, it is an office, but it's also an intimate therapy atmosphere, so you have this conundrum, this thing that cannot be because therapy has to be intimate to work, but I mean therapy office? What are they called? Come into my ...
Posted by gardenergirl on June 2, 2006, at 2:45:16
In reply to Re: In Session, posted by susan47 on May 28, 2006, at 0:49:31
> and yes, even .. gardeners. Everyone is weird, and odd, and a bit off, sometimes and in their own ways.
> Oi.
Posted by Reggie BoStar on August 16, 2006, at 1:44:49
In reply to Useful psychology and psychotherapy books, posted by Dinah on September 22, 2004, at 20:15:16
I was surprised to see one of M. Scott Peck's books in the list of recommended readings in this thread.
Huh? In the first edition of "The Road Less Travelled", he suggests that sex between therapist and patient could be beneficial.
Sorry. No way. In response to the resulting collective shock of his readers, he supposedly removed this passage from later editions; but not before this incredible gaffe gave warning to the effect that his agenda might have nothing to do with psychotherapy.
What was left after the controversial passage was removed? Take a look at one of his other gems: "In other words, mental illness occurs when the conscious will of the individual deviates substantially from the will of God, which is the individual's own unconscious will."
Did someone say "flow of consciousness"? That last one was a flash flood, going from mental illness, to religion, to New Age double talk.
Enough said about "The Road...", which I wish M. Scott would hit.
In "People of the Lie", he personifies "Evil" and proceeds to label patients as such. What happened to behavioural illness? Are people who suffer from behavioural illnesses really "evil"?
He even goes so far as to call one severly depressed patient "dependent, infantile, lazy."
Wow. What a loser that guy was, eh, M. Scott?
Later, he tells one patient she's "evil" and suggests a treatment of exorcism to her!
I think I'll pass on therapist/patient sex, demonic evil, exorcism, paranormal experiences, and M. Scott Peck. I have enough troubles, and I suspect that his patients do, too.
Posted by Estella on August 25, 2006, at 0:04:15
In reply to M. Scott Peck?? Is this an exorcism BBS?, posted by Reggie BoStar on August 16, 2006, at 1:44:49
hrm.
i just read the first amazon review.
sounds like a crank to me...
(and i don't mean the amazon review)
i guess some people benefited from it
<shrug>
Posted by cecilia on August 25, 2006, at 2:02:54
In reply to M. Scott Peck?? Is this an exorcism BBS?, posted by Reggie BoStar on August 16, 2006, at 1:44:49
I agree M. Scott Peck is a crackpot. I've never read any of his books cover to cover but I skimmed through the one where he called a patient "evil" because she didn't like sunny days, had an annoying habit of running out of gas and needing to be siphoned from her T's tank (you don't have to be a T to figure out the symbolism there) and quit t immediately after doing free association "right" for the first time. I'm sure she had problems, but it seems pretty childish as well as cruel for a t to get revenge on a patient by calling her "evil" in print. Cecilia
Posted by Dinah on September 1, 2006, at 21:38:24
In reply to Re: M. Scott Peck?? Is this an exorcism BBS?, posted by cecilia on August 25, 2006, at 2:02:54
I like Scott Peck.
He doesn't have all the answers of course, but I usually find benefit in reading his books.
Posted by Crackers on September 11, 2006, at 2:11:24
In reply to Re: M. Scott Peck?? Is this an exorcism BBS?, posted by cecilia on August 25, 2006, at 2:02:54
I believe that I am a victim of Peck's wonderful writings. Interesting things was that I indentified a psychopath. Sad thing is it's his word against mine and all I can hope for is poetic justice. Good news is that I think I solved World Peace along the way. Simple acts of kindness. Embracing everyone's religions, cultures, disablities etc. Don't we all just want to be treated with Respect and Dignity. I know I sure do.....to bad no one believes me. Or do they.
My poor psychologist...Charlie had to throw him on the sword before I was able to figure things out in my mind. Thank God there are some good men around!
Posted by Crackers on September 11, 2006, at 2:30:55
In reply to Re: In Session » Crackers, posted by susan47 on May 28, 2006, at 1:54:39
Sorry to alarm everyone my therapist was just doing his job properly. Unfortunately I have been through so much damn abuse it's not funny. Started with a grade 3 teacher humilating me in class, at 14 witness another teacher abusing a student infront of the whole class, father promising me to keep my silence because I tried to kill myself. Having a boy psychologically abusing me at 14yrs. From 16-19 having a man teach me to be a salve and no matter how hard i tried to escape no one would interfer. Having my daughter's father's brother force himself on me. At 35 yrs old having a man i trusted strangled me during sex. Again, and again and again and again. Can't wait for Monday to see if it's the same teacher who did that to that young man. I wished to hell I would have been stronger back then all I could do is stand up and walk out of the room back then. If i can't get justice for myself at least I'll get some justice for some one.
Posted by susan47 on September 11, 2006, at 18:40:40
In reply to Re: In Session, posted by Crackers on September 11, 2006, at 2:30:55
You won't get justice for anyone. The most you can hope for is comforting the abused, the dishonoured, the helpless ... the ones who feel loss of hope because of what's been done ...
Do you know what trust justice is? I believe I do. I believe that true justice never really happens; or, (always leaving room for change) that it rarely occurs; it looks like this. The person who did the wrong (and sometimes there are several people involved in the wrongdoing) feels considerable remorse and regret, and his personality Changes. S/he realizes that this experience will never be repeated again, because s/he did a terrible injustice and absolutely cannot ever do anything like that again. Because the pain of feeling what s/he's done to someone, and how that person was so innocent of receiving that, will drive the Perpetrator to deliver a personally heartfelt apology And the open-ness of a new and trusting and kind heart.
So tell me, isn't that better justice than the law going, oh well, sorry, we can't help you, and if we do, first we'll humiliate you into having to prove yourself in front of this person here, who's absolutely within his or her rights to be a complete *sshole to you, to hurt you unbearably and scar you for a lifetime, a f*cking lifetime so s/he could get his or her jollies ... because a lot of people who do this type of abusing are only interested in self-defence, self-denial, self-aggrandization, and, quite frankly, they're so dangerous and sometimes so well-hidden that all you can do is huddle together in self-defense .. until you get a real feeling of how valuable you really are and always have been, and get to pass that on to his or her victims. So be there for them. You're awesome I hope I'm right, but if I'm not, I've projected a hell of a lot of great stuff.
Posted by Crackers on September 24, 2006, at 15:56:58
In reply to Re: In Session, posted by Crackers on September 11, 2006, at 2:30:55
I wish only for poetic justice because the laws unfortunately have too many loop holes and 'tis a case of one person's word over another. But life still goes on for me...what doesn't kill me makes me that much stronger. Feel bad for my Therapist but he did his job, and did it well thank goodness for the descent men out there!!!!!!!
Also the pen is mighter than the sword, share your pain, report what has happenned to you. You may not get justice for yourself but you might be the stepping stone to help others get justice. I plan on writing a couple books: one about the relationship with my therapist, the other about the abuse that I have been witness to and a victim of.PEACE, LOVE AND HAPPINESS
Posted by Crackers on September 24, 2006, at 16:02:02
In reply to Useful psychology and psychotherapy books, posted by Dinah on September 22, 2004, at 20:15:16
The Courage to Heal. It's a wonderful book and the title is true. If you are dealing with child sexual abuse issues it takes one heck of alot of courage to go down that road for recovery but it's well worth the journey in the end.
Posted by Dr. Bob on September 24, 2006, at 22:04:13
In reply to Re: Useful psychology and psychotherapy books, posted by Crackers on September 24, 2006, at 16:02:02
> The Courage to Heal. It's a wonderful book and the title is true. If you are dealing with child sexual abuse issues it takes one heck of alot of courage to go down that road for recovery but it's well worth the journey in the end.
I'd just like to plug the double double quotes feature at this site:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#amazon
The first time anyone refers to a book, movie, or music without using this option, I post this to try to make sure he or she at least knows about it. It's just an option, though, and doesn't *have* to be used. If people *choose* not to use it, I'd be interested why not, but I'd like that redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020918/msgs/7717.html
Thanks!
Bob
Posted by Crackers on September 28, 2006, at 16:31:26
In reply to Re: double double quotes » Crackers, posted by Dr. Bob on September 24, 2006, at 22:04:13
> > The Courage to Heal. It's a wonderful book and the title is true. If you are dealing with child sexual abuse issues it takes one heck of alot of courage to go down that road for recovery but it's well worth the journey in the end.
>
> I'd just like to plug the double double quotes feature at this site:
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#amazon
>
> The first time anyone refers to a book, movie, or music without using this option, I post this to try to make sure he or she at least knows about it. It's just an option, though, and doesn't *have* to be used. If people *choose* not to use it, I'd be interested why not, but I'd like that redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration:
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020918/msgs/7717.html
>
> Thanks!
>
> Bob
I liked it partly for the fact that it had dealt with both sides of the issue of recovered memories. I always had the fear that it was my dad who did it and it took me 10 plus years to have the courage to find out. It was my grandpa, the one I never liked but couldn't explain why I had those feelings.....go figure. He's been dead for 5 yrs now, and I have to say I'm recovering quite well from it. Plus I figured that there was no need to tell my family about it, somethings are best left in therapy.
Posted by susan47 on April 25, 2007, at 18:45:44
In reply to Re: Help, Dinah » Susan47, posted by Dinah on March 19, 2005, at 8:59:31
It's been a very long time since anyone posted on this thread. I was reading over some of it. I'm almost through my dependency, I think. I'll probably always want to be loved and respected and cared about by that individual T .. even using the term "T" now instead of "therapist", or even "psychologist", seems extremely intimate, somehow. Like the way I call him by his initials sometimes instead of using his actual real name. I think we set it up this way, using that type of euphemism (is that what it's called? What's a euphemism? Eu-phem. You, Femme.
Hmh.
I'm just thinking how accurate Dinah was. It's funny but looking back at things, the thick of things, when I was in it I never actually saw it exactly for what it was, I just went blindly along on my feelings and my head, what my head and my gut knew but my conscious just couldn't absorb, I think I was too involved in survival. I wish every patient could know what can happen and Why, and I wish therapists would understand how important it is to have control but Kind control at all times. And never to reject a patient, never-bloody-never do that; I think if T's have to do that to a somewhat normal person, there's something wrong with the T's training or something else is going on, because there's no way a patient should have to be vulnerable to having this powerful emotional stuff sneak up on him or her. It's just plain unethical, when they know what they know.
Sigh.
If my ex-T ever did anything like reject me ever again I would have to scramble so hard to exist, again.
Posted by Dinah on April 27, 2007, at 22:25:19
In reply to Re: Help, Dinah, posted by susan47 on April 25, 2007, at 18:45:44
I think yes, training would be a good thing. I'm sorry you felt as hurt as you did.
Now that some time has passed do you find the pain is getting less?
Posted by susan47 on April 28, 2007, at 21:25:57
In reply to Re: Help, Dinah » susan47, posted by Dinah on April 27, 2007, at 22:25:19
"I'm sorry you felt as hurt as you did" sounds like a platitude, although I'm sure you're a very good person and would never wish to give the impression that you're judgmental. I'm sure you're very tolerant and kind.
What I heard you say, Dinah, was that I'm being judged for what happened with my ex-t.
I believe that dependence isn't something we can always predict; I also believe that we all respond in ways reflective of our past environments. We all take damage different ways, we all have different histories and pasts.
Therapists are supposed to help people, not to make it worse, and certainly not to stand blindly by and watch people deteriorate, and not do anything about it.
Therapists are supposed to be healers. They call themselves doctors.
I know no one is perfect. I work with doctors. I know.
But human decency will never go out of fashion.
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