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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by All Done on April 13, 2006, at 13:20:04
I had a dream that I was curled up on my bed and very upset about something. My T came in the room and offered his hand to help me out of bed, but he had a towel covering his hand and forearm, like he wasn’t supposed to touch me or something. I let him help and when I stood up, I was much shorter than in real life. I only came up to his chest. He opened his arms for me to hug him and when I did, I completely lost it. He held me (the towel was gone) and stroked my hair. I felt scared but too comforted to let go, if that makes any sense. I woke up feeling nervous and all stirred up and have pretty much stayed that way for a few days.
Then, I never in a million years thought my T would call me without me calling first, but yesterday evening he left a message to let me know he was thinking about me and he knows it’s important to me that I know he’s thinking about me. He wondered how I’m doing but said it isn’t necessary to call back unless I want to. And he said goodnight.
He’s kind, caring, understanding, and thoughtful. I know it’ll be okay, but I’m still so nervous to tell him about the dream. I think by the phone call he’s trying to tell me it’s okay to want or need things from him (he’s said those words in person, too), but I’m waiting for the time I get brave enough to tell him what I want or need, and he has to tell me he can’t or doesn’t want to fulfill it for me. I think it could be the hug. :(
Laurie
Posted by annierose on April 13, 2006, at 13:48:33
In reply to A dream and needing my T, posted by All Done on April 13, 2006, at 13:20:04
His phone call is so very touching and genuine. And you did tell him your needs and he is there, filling them, the best way he knows how. Is your heart smiling? I'm smiling for you. Hold that phone message in your heart (and on your machine ... forever!).
I'm not good with dreams (I leave those to Daisy, Falls, Dinah, Tamar, GG and anyone else who can find those nuggets of information from the subconscious). But you are smaller, hence younger, like a daughter would be. He is comforting you.
Posted by Dinah on April 13, 2006, at 19:31:39
In reply to A dream and needing my T, posted by All Done on April 13, 2006, at 13:20:04
I'm actually not so good at interpreting dreams.
But your dream made me smile and feel warm inside.
Posted by Daisym on April 13, 2006, at 20:31:56
In reply to A dream and needing my T, posted by All Done on April 13, 2006, at 13:20:04
Besides the obvious symbols in the dream, can you remember a time when you've felt like you felt in this dream? You felt comforted and yet really nervous. Knowing what i know about your mom, are the nerves about her "catching" you hugging? It makes sense that you worry so much about your needs, you were made to believe that you could never get comfort from your dad, due to your Mom's fears.
It strikes me that you are in bed to start out with, not in his office, not in a chair, but in bed. And he needs to first help you up, carefully, using a towel (was this to protect him...or you?) and then you got a hug. Are you waking up to a new life, that includes getting your needs met?
Your therapist is very special. Keep him. :)
Posted by All Done on April 17, 2006, at 12:20:40
In reply to Re: A dream and needing my T » All Done, posted by annierose on April 13, 2006, at 13:48:33
> His phone call is so very touching and genuine. And you did tell him your needs and he is there, filling them, the best way he knows how. Is your heart smiling? I'm smiling for you. Hold that phone message in your heart (and on your machine ... forever!).
Getting the message from him was very nice and I left him a message saying how I appreciated that he left it. It helped to calm some of my anxiety after that dream. I also told him it is important to me to know he's thinking about me and it was nice that he did.
But...by the time my session on Saturday rolled around, I had managed to turn it into him feeling like he *had* to call me because I'm needy and I'm "forcing" him into thinking about me by even bringing it up. Somehow, I turned it into a bad thing. :( He thinks this is a smaller version of what I do in other relationships and he's right. I have a very hard time accepting others' care and concern as genuine. I don't know how to change that, but it feels rotten. :(
> I'm not good with dreams (I leave those to Daisy, Falls, Dinah, Tamar, GG and anyone else who can find those nuggets of information from the subconscious). But you are smaller, hence younger, like a daughter would be. He is comforting you.I told him about the dream, but didn't get to it until the last fifteen minutes of my session. And then, I didn't remember to tell him I was smaller until the very end of that. Hopefully, we'll talk more about it next week.
Nice to see you, annie! How are you doing?
Posted by All Done on April 17, 2006, at 12:24:21
In reply to Re: A dream and needing my T, posted by Dinah on April 13, 2006, at 19:31:39
> I'm actually not so good at interpreting dreams.
>
> But your dream made me smile and feel warm inside.Thanks, Dinah.
My T called the dream beautiful and poetic. (Apart from the nervousness, of course.) I think I'm still too wrapped up in those nervous feelings to see it that way, though.
Gosh, I'm feeling awfully pessimistic today. :(
Posted by All Done on April 17, 2006, at 12:52:05
In reply to Re: A dream and needing my T, posted by Daisym on April 13, 2006, at 20:31:56
> Besides the obvious symbols in the dream, can you remember a time when you've felt like you felt in this dream? You felt comforted and yet really nervous. Knowing what i know about your mom, are the nerves about her "catching" you hugging? It makes sense that you worry so much about your needs, you were made to believe that you could never get comfort from your dad, due to your Mom's fears.
You hit the nail on the head with this, Daisy. I didn't even realize how much it felt that way to me, but my mom had a lot of restrictions when I was younger. It wasn't even just with my dad. There were certain books I wasn't supposed to read, certain kids I couldn't befriend, and mainly, certain "ways" I wasn't supposed to act because that would evoke feelings in others that weren't right. She even tried to tell me I couldn't have anymore sleepovers with my female cousin (my best friend) of the same age after we were about ten because it was inappropriate.
And, if she caught me with anything I wasn't supposed to have - like a Judy Blume book, for example - she would take it and then wait to confront me about it. So, I would know it was gone and that I was in trouble, but I wouldn't know when I was actually going to get reprimanded. Sometimes, she would drop me off at school for the day and say, "there's something we need to talk about after you get home today." She would never tell me what it was, so I'd have to wait all day knowing I was going to get yelled at. Either that or an inappropriate discussion about the birds and the bees was coming.
Sorry...didn't mean to digress. I'm just remembering that nervous feeling all too well, I guess.
> It strikes me that you are in bed to start out with, not in his office, not in a chair, but in bed. And he needs to first help you up, carefully, using a towel (was this to protect him...or you?) and then you got a hug. Are you waking up to a new life, that includes getting your needs met?
Like I told annierose, I didn't talk about the dream as much as I would have liked to because I waited so long to tell him. But I did and now it's out there. I imagine we'll take a closer look at it at my next session. He was glad I was using the word need more, though. I told him my mom stopped me from doing a lot of things that, as an adult, I realize I needed for a healthy development.
> Your therapist is very special. Keep him. :)
Thanks, Daisy. I think so, too. :)
This is the end of the thread.
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