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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by B2chica on April 4, 2006, at 11:40:50
i feel nothing inside. like a hollow shell bobbing through life without any real emotion.
anyone experience this.almost everything i disclosed to my old T seems so far away like a dream. unreal, like i made it all up...yep, one big lie. and i'm happy with that.
am i in denial, am i done dealing with it, is it getting ready to explode again? to i need to put this aside for a while?i don't knwo where i'm at and it worries me. at least when i was depressive i knew where i was.
b2c.
Posted by All Done on April 4, 2006, at 12:29:54
In reply to pains gone but so is everything else..., posted by B2chica on April 4, 2006, at 11:40:50
(((b2c))),
It sounds like you're in a scary place right now. Fear of the unknown.
I think maybe any change in emotions or feelings can be kind of scary. Like, "what's happening to me?" At least that's how I feel.
I'm sorry you're feeling worried and I wish I could make it easier for you.
Take care,
Laurie
Posted by orchid on April 4, 2006, at 14:20:25
In reply to pains gone but so is everything else..., posted by B2chica on April 4, 2006, at 11:40:50
I think maybe you are in denial partly, or maybe you just feel a tiny bit better for real, and are postponing the real work for a little later. In any case, it is ok to feel numb sometimes like this - when you don't feel any pain or anything else. I have had those moments too.
Posted by gardenergirl on April 4, 2006, at 17:32:13
In reply to pains gone but so is everything else..., posted by B2chica on April 4, 2006, at 11:40:50
Maybe you're in a holding pattern, a bit of a break? I get that way sometimes. Sometimes it's a few sessions when I feel I am talking in circles about nothing in particular. Sometimes within a session itself I get what I call "the fog" or "the blank space" where I feel like I have no thoughts or feelings. It's an odd experience for me, but I am coming to realize that it usually means that something important is on the other side of the fog. I think sometimes I just need to take a deep breath or six before I peer through it.
Therapy is such a hard journey. We all need respite at times to keep going forward.
You've shown such amazing courage in this, even if it still feels scary. That's an important thing.
(((B2Chica))))
Take care,
gg
Posted by Daisym on April 4, 2006, at 19:26:39
In reply to pains gone but so is everything else..., posted by B2chica on April 4, 2006, at 11:40:50
I think it is really hard not to just wait for the return of the pain. Not feeling depressed or anxious is different and might feel empty. I read recently that one of the critical times in doing this work is the in-between time of releasing the pain (which you've done) and filling up that space with good things. This part takes time. Until we have built our new "life" so to speak, we feel a little fragile, not whole yet. Our outside is the same but inside there is a lot of construction work going on. Question is, are you adding on just one room or a whole new floor? Or are you driving nails into the lid of the box holding all this stuff in. Not a good idea. (this is about you, not me...)
I've had the experience of driving down the road and suddenly thinking, "oh there you are, my friend anxiety. I haven't felt you for a few days. I knew something was missing." Try to hang in and fill up that space with new and fun things. But don't push. This is a fragile time.
Posted by B2chica on April 5, 2006, at 10:09:42
In reply to Re: pains gone but so is everything else... » B2chica, posted by Daisym on April 4, 2006, at 19:26:39
Posted by fairywings on April 5, 2006, at 16:56:23
In reply to pains gone but so is everything else..., posted by B2chica on April 4, 2006, at 11:40:50
(((B2)))
Sorry you're feeling so empty. It must be hard to miss your T, and have to start all over again with someone you want to trust but don't really.
I hope you're feeling better soon,
fw
Posted by Racer on April 7, 2006, at 19:06:09
In reply to Re: pains gone but so is everything else... » B2chica, posted by Daisym on April 4, 2006, at 19:26:39
> I read recently that one of the critical times in doing this work is the in-between time of releasing the pain (which you've done) and filling up that space with good things.
Funny you should say just that, Daisy, because I was kinda thinking about story I read by Shirley Jackson, not sure the title of the story, but it's likely in "The Lottery and Other Stories." (If not, it'll be in "Come Along With Me."") It's a story about a girl who just gets out of a mental hospital, after recovering from fear of -- everything, mostly, but she gets superstitious fears and the fear that the noise she hears is someone following her who will hurt her, etc. Anyway, she's cured, joking with the doctor as he walks her out the door. She's feeling light and free and wonderful and the sun is shining and the birds are singing and she's walking along -- when she realizes that she just don't feel quite ... right. There's something missing...
And so she CHOOSES the familiarity of fear...
But it was just what you described. That period when she had lost her fears, they were gone, she was fine, but before she had anything new to replace them with.
And B2Chica? I think what you're describing is kinda like what happens when you strain a muscle. The muscle gets tensed beyond its ability, and then it kinda goes slack? Does that make any sense, do you know what I mean so that I can go on with my analogy? {I'm not having a good day today...) Well, recently you were pretty well pushed to your emotional limits, and a bit past -- so your emotional muscles are probably feeling as though they can't manage to work right now, they need some rest to recover their elasticity.
I hope that makes snese, and I hope it helps.
Posted by B2chica on April 10, 2006, at 8:50:00
In reply to Re: pains gone but so is everything else..., posted by Racer on April 7, 2006, at 19:06:09
makes perfect sense. thanks.
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