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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by quietheart on February 2, 2006, at 9:29:49
Hi all-
I am a quiet listener on these boards, but now need some advice. As a 28 yr old single professional woman living in the suburbs in NEw England, I have a pretty quiet life. I am working on moving to a large urban center where my quality of life will hopefully improve (re socializing etc). Anyway, that aside, I feel like I hardly have my life together right now. I am totally disorganized (I would DIE if anyone saw my apt right now). There are food wrappers and used dishes everywhere, clothes strewn about the floor and all over the living and dining room, etc. I always get fed up and clean up and my apt looks perfect but then everything gets dirty again and I kick myself for not being able to keep things moderately organized.Then there's the issue of appearance. I am 5'5", 130 lbs, and recently started working out. I am so lazy that I barely take any time w my appearance, and I feel so bad about it. But I feel so ugly and everything seems so out of control that I have no motivation to do my makeup and hair, etc. I used to care a lot more about all this, I don't know what happened. Please don't tell me to get help for depression, as I have already done that. I can function in my life at a reasonable level (I am an investment banker). Please help me.
Posted by Susan47 on February 2, 2006, at 10:21:40
In reply to Organization and beauty issues, posted by quietheart on February 2, 2006, at 9:29:49
Setting yourself a strict schedule can be helpful. If I get up at six every morning, have my shower and clean out the bathroom while I'm still in there, then go and make my bed right away and tidy the bedroom, then have something to eat and do the dishes right away, IMMEDIATELY mind you, listening to music that keeps my brain interested, I usually have a good day. Try that, maybe? I don't do these small tasks because I'm so easily bored and need a lot of stimulation, these tasks don't provide it At All, but if I listen to good music while I do them they go so much better. But first you might need to pay someone to get you started. So look into hiring an Organizer, or a friend who's really good at Organizing, to get you cleaned up initially. I know how hard it is. You should see my computer desk, but I'm grateful that the rest of my place is now the way I want it.
Posted by muffled on February 2, 2006, at 12:58:16
In reply to Organization and beauty issues, posted by quietheart on February 2, 2006, at 9:29:49
So do you have a T?
Thats what they do, help you figger out stuff. You don't have to get all attached. Its just an objective person that can help you figger why you do what you do. Or its not even so much WHY as just what you might do to change things that bother you in your life.
Lotsa people have friends they talk to that can help them with this. I don't really. I'm not good socially.
I dunno why you are like you are.
I'm glad your functioning at a reasonable level but it sounds like you'd like things to be more different.
Sounds like you do alot of negative self talk.
Just posting away on these boards can be useful.
You sound nice. Nice to meet you.
Muffled
Posted by quietheart on February 2, 2006, at 13:36:29
In reply to Re: Organization and beauty issues » quietheart, posted by muffled on February 2, 2006, at 12:58:16
Thanks Muffled. I have gone to a T, for over a year, and then left. It helped me deal with some bigger issues in life, but not these smaller things. Right now, I don't have the time for therapy, unf. --- as my career has taken over. I just feel like such a horrible, ugly, mediocre person.
Posted by muffled on February 2, 2006, at 14:31:25
In reply to Re: Organization and beauty issues -muffled, posted by quietheart on February 2, 2006, at 13:36:29
> Thanks Muffled. I have gone to a T, for over a year, and then left. It helped me deal with some bigger issues in life, but not these smaller things. Right now, I don't have the time for therapy, unf. --- as my career has taken over. I just feel like such a horrible, ugly, mediocre person.
***mebbe you need to take more time to care for your own needs beyond work?
The feelings you are feeling are not nice and you don't have to live with those thots in your head cuz they not true. Would you look at me and tell me I'm ugly and mediocre? I tell you, I'm not much to write home about, but I'm ok with that. I used to REALLY hate myself, so the way I feel is ever so much better than before.
Therapy only takes awhile, you may have to shuffle and prioritize. If your clear n whats bothering you and what you'd like to change , you proly wouldn't need to go for long.
Or else, you can try and do it yourself and see if that works.
Use any skills you learned with last T and add to them.
Sort out your life on paper. Priorities. Things you'd like to change. How you could do these things in little easy steps etc.
Take care, gotta run,
Sorry you feeling bad.
Muffled
Posted by crazy teresa on February 3, 2006, at 19:43:31
In reply to Organization and beauty issues, posted by quietheart on February 2, 2006, at 9:29:49
Just from reading your posts, you are very negative about yourself. Being positive is just as easy as being negative, and after a while your heart will start listening to what your head is telling it.
When you hear the inner voice start to say "I'm a slob, I'm so lazy, I'm so disorganized", stop the thoughts immediately and make yourself think something positive.
You could even go the next step and take a small action to counter the negative thought. Thinking you're a slob? Put the pizza box in the trashand praise yourself for doing so!
Why not try that for a while and see what happens? I bet you're surprised to hear how many negative things you're telling yourself without even realizing you're doing it. And unfortunately, your heart is believing it.
And you know what, I always feel better when I know I'm looking better. Maybe this is a good time to try a new hair cut, one that you won't have to spend a lot of time on. Get some new funky glasses, that are way hipper than you're feeling. I've never had one, but a Brazillian wax might make you feel pretty sexy (once the pain is gone!) Know what I mean?
Once you get into your new place, hire a housekeeper. Give yourself a break. If nothing else, think of it as your contribution towards simulating the economy...
Good luck with your new adventure! It sounds very exciting.
This is the end of the thread.
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