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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rainbowbrite on February 3, 2005, at 13:28:16
I just thought Id drop in before I head out for the day and share... and ...well this is purely for me to just express, no response necessary.
The worst feeling is the feeling of rejection! I never really new that till now. when you open your heart to someone....and they accept it at first, but then don't seem to any longer. Recently aFter being asked a very direct question, I opened up to a friend about soemthing... and well...it has never been the same since. You know its tough, Its a no win situation, I like my strength and I admire it in others, but we all have our weaknesses and I no longer feel I can open up and show vulnerability IRL, but will I ever be strong in her eyes again. Its as though I destroyed what she has always percieved me as with the release of some emotions. I let out a weakness and now feel judged for it. It is certainly painful as I struggle with why I allowed it to happen, in just a split second! So stupid, I feel like it is irrepairable (is that even a word). I am different in her eyes now and I hate that! I want my steel cage back but I also wish I didn't need to live with such a phoney facade, (sigh). Well thats enough, Im just hurt and feeling rejected.
thanks for letting me share.
rain
Posted by Shortelise on February 3, 2005, at 15:48:15
In reply to the worst feeling.......just need to get it out, posted by rainbowbrite on February 3, 2005, at 13:28:16
(((rain)))
Posted by rainbowbrite on February 3, 2005, at 16:42:34
In reply to Re: the worst feeling.......just need to get it out » rainbowbrite, posted by Shortelise on February 3, 2005, at 15:48:15
Posted by Dinah on February 3, 2005, at 16:47:00
In reply to the worst feeling.......just need to get it out, posted by rainbowbrite on February 3, 2005, at 13:28:16
Hmmmm...
My therapist and I were talking about something similar in our last session. I sometimes feel torn between feeling like I'm exhibiting shame about myself if I'm not open about certain things in my life, and feeling shamed by others sometimes if I do. So I end up acting as if I have a shameful secret.
His take on it was that the reaction was caused by the knowledge base of the other person, not anything to do with me. That if someone doesn't understand, it might make me feel shamed. But that had nothing to do with whether or not what I disclosed was at all shameful.
Can you just think of the reaction as being due to the limitations of the person you were speaking to? Not that you said anything wrong, but that they were unable to understand?
Posted by rainbowbrite on February 3, 2005, at 18:14:53
In reply to Re: the worst feeling.......just need to get it out » rainbowbrite, posted by Dinah on February 3, 2005, at 16:47:00
>Can you just think of the reaction as being due to the limitations of the person you were speaking to? Not that you said anything wrong, but that they were unable to understand?
I can try, I think people have a really REALLY hard time viewing people in another light. Its like the realization that your parents are not that smart! lol you know? so I think that is what happened, I crushed thier idea of me (i know i did too) ...I don't know if this makes sense but I wish I could take it back :(
Posted by Fallen4MyT on February 3, 2005, at 18:55:14
In reply to the worst feeling.......just need to get it out, posted by rainbowbrite on February 3, 2005, at 13:28:16
Must I come kick some butts? you know I can :) Nobody messes with my friends
> I just thought Id drop in before I head out for the day and share... and ...well this is purely for me to just express, no response necessary.
> The worst feeling is the feeling of rejection! I never really new that till now. when you open your heart to someone....and they accept it at first, but then don't seem to any longer. Recently aFter being asked a very direct question, I opened up to a friend about soemthing... and well...it has never been the same since. You know its tough, Its a no win situation, I like my strength and I admire it in others, but we all have our weaknesses and I no longer feel I can open up and show vulnerability IRL, but will I ever be strong in her eyes again. Its as though I destroyed what she has always percieved me as with the release of some emotions. I let out a weakness and now feel judged for it. It is certainly painful as I struggle with why I allowed it to happen, in just a split second! So stupid, I feel like it is irrepairable (is that even a word). I am different in her eyes now and I hate that! I want my steel cage back but I also wish I didn't need to live with such a phoney facade, (sigh). Well thats enough, Im just hurt and feeling rejected.
> thanks for letting me share.
> rain
Posted by rainbowbrite on February 3, 2005, at 19:01:23
In reply to Re: the worst feeling.......just need to get it out » rainbowbrite, posted by Fallen4MyT on February 3, 2005, at 18:55:14
PLEAse pLEaSe DO fallen!! I really need someone to :-)
thank you! your the bestest
Posted by antigua on February 8, 2005, at 10:25:51
In reply to the worst feeling.......just need to get it out, posted by rainbowbrite on February 3, 2005, at 13:28:16
I have done this more than a few times--it's probably why I don't have more friends. IF I feel close enough (even momentarily) to someone that I want to share something about myself that's private, I almost always regret it because they don't treat me the same anymore. But actually, I think it's me most of the time. Letting someone know that I'm vulnerable is very frightening to me. I have turned many good friends away because I'm afraid, and it may not have anything to do with them. I shut people off when they know my secrets.
I'm sure it's a defense mechanism for me, but I know it's not useful anymore.
just didn't want you to think you're alone. It's hard to believe that they are having a problem rather than it being a weakness on my part.
confusing? sorry,
antigua
Posted by rainbowbrite on February 21, 2005, at 10:41:25
In reply to Re: the worst feeling.......just need to get it out » rainbowbrite, posted by antigua on February 8, 2005, at 10:25:51
This is the end of the thread.
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