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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 138. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by mair on January 9, 2005, at 7:38:39
I know some of us have to limit our participation here from time to time because participation may create more emotional upheaval than benefits. An obvious one might be the contentious admin battles which might trigger an aversion to contentious discussions. Maybe you hate to see Bob attacked. Maybe you think he's done something to you or another poster which you think is unfair. Maybe you hate to see people you think of as friends fighting with one another. Maybe you feel attacked or are afraid you will be attacked when the atmosphere seems hostile or emotionally charged.
I have my own ideas about what makes me sometimes feel insecure here. I'd be really curious as to what some of the other "button pushers" are for others, particularly on the other boards. Are they only that you're afraid you'll read one of those "triggering" posts?
Mair
Posted by fires on January 9, 2005, at 9:28:42
In reply to What about PB pushes your buttons?, posted by mair on January 9, 2005, at 7:38:39
Related: Not long ago I was going to an outpatient clinic at a major university med. center.
The Pdocs there made it quite clear that it would be in my best interests to stay away from sites like this. I was on Effexor, and they said that the web is not a reliable/balanced source of info. about Effexor (I already knew that).
I've been told the same about this forum: no balance, codependency/enabling rampant, and believe it or not: Psychobabble to the point of ... :)
Posted by cubic_me on January 9, 2005, at 9:49:29
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons? » mair, posted by fires on January 9, 2005, at 9:28:42
Sometimes I have avoid the therapy board since I moved from individual therapy to group. I had a good relationship with my old T, and I could discuss it here, but I hate group, and this site just reminds me of what I miss about individual therapy.
Posted by Dinah on January 9, 2005, at 9:50:09
In reply to What about PB pushes your buttons?, posted by mair on January 9, 2005, at 7:38:39
Well, I hate it when something seems unfair, or when Dr. Bob doesn't understand something that seems perfectly obvious. And I really hate it when two people I like aren't getting along. (That seems to happen a lot less frequently now than it used to. A kinder and gentler Babble?)
But what really pushes my buttons are topics that I'm struggling with at the moment. Especially if they aren't treated respectfully. But even if they are. It's odd, you'd think that I'd feel a kindred spirit for those going through the same sort of struggle I am, and sometimes I do. But sometimes I'm just too raw and I need to avoid the thread despite my strong feelings of empathy and concern. And sometimes I'm just too raw and I think my head will explode from anger. :)
Posted by Toph on January 9, 2005, at 9:55:42
In reply to What about PB pushes your buttons?, posted by mair on January 9, 2005, at 7:38:39
Bullies.
Posted by Larry Hoover on January 9, 2005, at 10:38:37
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons? » mair, posted by fires on January 9, 2005, at 9:28:42
> The Pdocs there made it quite clear that it would be in my best interests to stay away from sites like this.
Then why do you come at all? That's very confusing to me, that you would not heed such advice.
> I've been told the same about this forum: no balance, codependency/enabling rampant, and believe it or not: Psychobabble to the point of ... :)
Psychobabble to the point of what, exactly?
Lar
Posted by crushedout on January 9, 2005, at 11:26:18
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons? » fires, posted by Larry Hoover on January 9, 2005, at 10:38:37
Posted by crushedout on January 9, 2005, at 11:30:13
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons?, posted by cubic_me on January 9, 2005, at 9:49:29
Yeah, the therapy board, which is the one I read the most, often makes me very sad, especially now that I've left my T. I honestly don't understand why I keep coming back. It seems a bit masochistic.
:(
I guess it's because I like you guys. And I need support.
Posted by fires on January 9, 2005, at 13:17:54
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons? » fires, posted by Larry Hoover on January 9, 2005, at 10:38:37
> > The Pdocs there made it quite clear that it would be in my best interests to stay away from sites like this.
>
> Then why do you come at all? That's very confusing to me, that you would not heed such advice.
Knowledge of what these sites are about, allow me to see them in the proper light.
> > I've been told the same about this forum: no balance, codependency/enabling rampant, and believe it or not: Psychobabble to the point of ... :)
>
> Psychobabble to the point of what, exactly?Sounds like you may trying to get me banned.;)
> Lar
>
Posted by gardenergirl on January 9, 2005, at 14:07:14
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons?, posted by fires on January 9, 2005, at 13:17:54
>
>
> > > I've been told the same about this forum: no balance, codependency/enabling rampant, and believe it or not: Psychobabble to the point of ... :)
> >
> > Psychobabble to the point of what, exactly?
>
> Sounds like you may trying to get me banned.;)
>Still, its interesting that you continue to read and post here, if you find it to be so unbalanced. Shirley there is a site somewhere that is more to your standards?
gg
Posted by fires on January 9, 2005, at 14:29:24
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons? » fires, posted by gardenergirl on January 9, 2005, at 14:07:14
Please don't call me Shirely. ;)
I'm not sure what you mine by "interesting."
Imagine if you told your T something and his response was only "interesting."
Posted by gardenergirl on January 9, 2005, at 14:46:42
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons? » gardenergirl, posted by fires on January 9, 2005, at 14:29:24
> Please don't call me Shirely. ;)
Sorry, couldn't resist. ;)
>
> I'm not sure what you mine by "interesting."Um, inspiring interest? arousing and/or holding attention? And that was not all I said.
>
> Imagine if you told your T something and his response was only "interesting."I don't have to imagine this one. He's done this before. It's usually a good way to keep me talking (as if he needs to work hard at that....lol)
gg
>
Posted by alexandra_k on January 9, 2005, at 14:47:45
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons? » gardenergirl, posted by fires on January 9, 2005, at 14:29:24
I find that topics that are too close to home can be hard. When people aren't coping so well with something that I am struggling with as well. But then they can be some of the most helpful threads too. Depends on what space I am in I suppose.
I find it hard when people are talking about the wonderful relationships they have with their t's. Those are threads I try to avoid now.
It is funny that the threads that are the most triggering for me tend to have nothing whatsoever to do with issues that prompt 'trigger warnings'. I just avoid something that sounds a bit triggering for me. Maybe I will start to skim that stuff though and just have a little bit more of a look. Sometimes it is hard to get an indication from the subject heading, and threads evolve as well.
Posted by Larry Hoover on January 9, 2005, at 14:52:07
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons?, posted by fires on January 9, 2005, at 13:17:54
> > Psychobabble to the point of what, exactly?
>
> Sounds like you may trying to get me banned.;)Huh? I'm trying to understand.
Lar
Posted by crushedout on January 9, 2005, at 16:50:45
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons?, posted by fires on January 9, 2005, at 13:17:54
> > Then why do you come at all? That's very confusing to me, that you would not heed such advice.
>
> Knowledge of what these sites are about, allow me to see them in the proper light.That might explain why you read the site, but not so much why you would post on it.
Posted by mair on January 9, 2005, at 19:35:25
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons? » fires, posted by crushedout on January 9, 2005, at 16:50:45
Setting aside the admin board, my button pushers have more to do with my own insecurities and are purely coincidental to the site. The content of posts doesn't bother me; feeling alone in cyberspace sometimes does.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 9, 2005, at 19:44:15
In reply to What about PB pushes your buttons?, posted by mair on January 9, 2005, at 7:38:39
Mair for me I find I am annoyed and skip over posts by some posters because I am trying to stay within civil here...but how.....because well I don't think I can say..I will say dislike mean, selfish and rude people in life
> I know some of us have to limit our participation here from time to time because participation may create more emotional upheaval than benefits. An obvious one might be the contentious admin battles which might trigger an aversion to contentious discussions. Maybe you hate to see Bob attacked. Maybe you think he's done something to you or another poster which you think is unfair. Maybe you hate to see people you think of as friends fighting with one another. Maybe you feel attacked or are afraid you will be attacked when the atmosphere seems hostile or emotionally charged.
>
> I have my own ideas about what makes me sometimes feel insecure here. I'd be really curious as to what some of the other "button pushers" are for others, particularly on the other boards. Are they only that you're afraid you'll read one of those "triggering" posts?
>
> Mair
Posted by Joslynn on January 10, 2005, at 10:47:13
In reply to What about PB pushes your buttons?, posted by mair on January 9, 2005, at 7:38:39
Things that bother me...
Posts that sound like someone lecturing in an infomercial, e.g., "Just pull yourself up by our bootstraps! I did it, and so can you! Yay!" This makes me feel like some people do not understand depression and think that a quick fix will work. I do think that positive thinking is great by the way, but if someone is severely depressed, I don't think a glib, motivational poster comment is going to help, especially when it sounds blaming.
It also upsets me when people post about getting sexually involved with their Ts as if that is an ok, normal thing, especially when other posters have a congratulatory tone. This has happened with a few posters and I just worry that it may give newbies the impression that it is ok for Ts to use their clientele as a dating base. I also think that those posters are going to get hurt down the line, as good as it may feel at the time. I understand the temptation very much.
I must admit, I also get tired of Dr. Bob saying double double quotes all the time. I think we all know how to use Amazon to find a book! If we can naviagate this site, I'm sure we can figure out how to do that. But I guess it's a $ thing, and since this site is free, I guess I can't blame Dr. Bob for wanting to recoup some funds.
Overall though, this is a good source of honesty and info. I lurk more than I post, but I always learn something.
Posted by Joslynn on January 10, 2005, at 11:41:03
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons?, posted by Joslynn on January 10, 2005, at 10:47:13
I hope the post about getting sexually involved with Ts didn't sound self-righteous. I completely understand the temptation. It is more the Ts who make me sad and mad, not the clients who become involved. I just feel like the Ts should know better, especially when marriage is involved. And that other posters should point this out rather than congratulate someone.
Posted by crushedout on January 10, 2005, at 11:44:06
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons?, posted by Joslynn on January 10, 2005, at 11:41:03
I agree with you, Joslynn, but it makes me feel bad because I've probably been guilty of congratulating. Or maybe I was just envious. I can't remember. I can't help feeling envious, can I?
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 10, 2005, at 12:50:28
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons?, posted by Joslynn on January 10, 2005, at 10:47:13
Joslynn,
Thank you for being the first to bring up the inappropriate T behavior and the congratulating. I was too afraid to post that for some reason. But really, that is what really pushes my buttons sometimes around here. It makes me so sad to know that people are being taken advantage of by their Ts, that they are not receiving the care they deserve, but yet think their situation is fine.
Perhaps I tune into this because I have such strict boundaries with my T. And then the congratulating begins and it is so distressing.
Posted by crushedout on January 10, 2005, at 13:09:57
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons? » Joslynn, posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 10, 2005, at 12:50:28
Wait, I don't think this is completely fair. I think the majority of responders to these sorts of posts have expressed concern. I actually don't think that many people were congratulatory (and if I was one of them, I bow my head in shame).But let's be fair to our community. Most of us (you) have expressed appropriate levels of concern, but also support (sometimes this can seem like they're supporting what's happening when in fact it's just trying not to alienate the "victim" or whatever you want to call her, which certainly wouldn't help matters).
C'mon somebody else help me out here.
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on January 10, 2005, at 13:18:13
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons? » Miss Honeychurch, posted by crushedout on January 10, 2005, at 13:09:57
Very true, Crushed. The majority have expressed concern, support, etc. Maybe I sounded too generalized and exagerrated. I just meant to say that when this does happen, however seldom it does happen, that it really pushes my buttons. They distress me so much that they stick out in my mind the most
Sorry if I sounded harsh. This is why I was afraid to post this thought.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 10, 2005, at 17:47:04
In reply to Back on Topic, posted by mair on January 9, 2005, at 19:35:25
Lol this is a very hard topic to stick to and stay civil that is why ***I spoke in a general way as not to point out and make obvious which posters are guilty of the things that push my buttons***..Thing is if I posted what did bother me that poster or those posters would KNOW that they are the ones that annoy me and what would the point be in making them feel badly be? So again rude, cruel and selfish people annoy me in all walks of life not in here only. The way I look at it we are all adults in here far as I know and well I just ignore posts by those who post what I feel they will never overcome.
But I will say I do agree with the person who said the double quotes thing for Amazon.com..I do not know how to double quote but I like Barnes and Nobel better so it isn't a big bug but annoys me.
Posted by TofuEmmy on January 10, 2005, at 19:50:20
In reply to What about PB pushes your buttons?, posted by mair on January 9, 2005, at 7:38:39
I read this whole thread, and got strssed out. Then I thought, "Why in the world would I WANT to sit here and spend time thinking up a list of the things that annoy me?". It's annoying.
emmy :-)
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