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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Racer on July 16, 2006, at 14:56:45
Guess it's not such a secret that I'm not doing so great right now, huh?
I just realized yesterday that some of this is based on Proving I'm Good Enough -- whatever the heck that means. Can anyone help with an explanation of that concept?
Truly, I'm kinda feeling as thought being in therapy is taking up space that should go to someone more deserving. What is it that makes me Good Enough to have that slot? What is it that would make it OK for me to get a grade that's not an A -- that is, to get that grade and still be Good Enough? Hardly a fair question, since apparently getting the As still doesn't make me Good Enough...
Any ideas?
Posted by Declan on July 16, 2006, at 15:46:28
In reply to What makes someone Good Enough?, posted by Racer on July 16, 2006, at 14:56:45
G'day Racer
Some people are more thorough, if not rigorous, than others. You seem like that to me, so your idea of what's good enough might be different from someone who was less so. For me good enough just means that whatever it is can sit more or less comfortably in your mind. Is it just a different way of approaching the idea of acceptance?
And about you? Isn't it just that you have high standards? There's nothing wrong with that; the downside comes when you fall short of them. You think?
Posted by Declan on July 16, 2006, at 15:57:08
In reply to Re: What makes someone Good Enough?, posted by Declan on July 16, 2006, at 15:46:28
I've just read your post on the other board.....and hadn't realised how rotten you feel right now. Maybe this isn't the time to be talking about high standards? Maybe you feel your standards are actually very low right now?
For someone else with your level of distress, would you think them entitled to therapy?
Posted by corafree on July 16, 2006, at 19:29:31
In reply to What makes someone Good Enough?, posted by Racer on July 16, 2006, at 14:56:45
I don't need another person around to have fun. I have lots of fun and fireworks (and days on end of pouting, or sadness, or anger ... where I throw stuff that won't break because I can't afford to replace it at walls) all by myself! (No split personality per se, no psychoses, not Gemini.)
I don't mean to sound like I think I'm better than anyone else, but I think I know myself better than anyone else, so 'I be the judge'. Ya' think?
I think if I'm Good enough for me, I'm probably Good Enough.
I TRY HARD not to allow others to make this call.
ain'tezBNme,(?) cf
Posted by sleepygirl on July 16, 2006, at 20:43:40
In reply to What makes someone Good Enough?, posted by Racer on July 16, 2006, at 14:56:45
Ideas? OK, here goes...good enough? geez that is a hard question.
From my perspective it is a realization that nothing and no one can ever be "perfect", but valuing and loving that thing or person anyway.
Maybe when you can stop "moving" and can look around at what's around you and sit with yourself and feel "OK" - without a heck of a lot of longing and/or regret.
Do you deserve anything? or does it constantly have to be earned? Is "good enough" within yourself or outside yourself?
There is "always" some reason to feel not good enough (OK so that's a Sara McLaughlin lyric ;-).This is a really hard one for me too. I often think that I am wasting valuable time and resources in therapy that could go to someone else, but why the heck not me? Who decides?
feeling good enough does seem like something I'm always losing hold of.
Maybe it is about valuing "mistakes"? valuing the process as opposed to the end result which always seems out of reach?
Let me know if you find out. You're way more than "good enough" to me.
maybe if you reject yourself nobody else can?
Posted by AuntieMel on July 17, 2006, at 11:25:53
In reply to What makes someone Good Enough?, posted by Racer on July 16, 2006, at 14:56:45
I finally realized I was GoodEnough when I realized:
1) I'm a nice person
2) I don't have a mean bone in my body.
Those two together make me a GoodPerson - which is GoodEnough.
Posted by Phillipa on July 18, 2006, at 11:44:03
In reply to Re: What makes someone Good Enough? » Racer, posted by sleepygirl on July 16, 2006, at 20:43:40
Sleepy you hit on it exactly. It's like if you leave someone they can't leave you which gives you a sense of power. It works for a while but if something like not feeling well gets in the way you lose. Everyone has standards but they must be realistic. And Racer it's not the grade as they told me in school the C students are the ones who do the best work. Love Phillipa ps and when you get a job they don't look at your grades just the impression they get of you and the fact you have graduated.
Posted by MaggieATL on July 30, 2006, at 0:19:50
In reply to What makes someone Good Enough?, posted by Racer on July 16, 2006, at 14:56:45
Racer,Everyone deserves an opportunity to get help and be supported-whether by a therapist or family member or friend. Heck, prisoners get therapy in prison!(in America)
I hope this feeling passes for you.
This is the end of the thread.
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