![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by photogirlla on January 29, 2005, at 15:24:49
Hi everyone
I'm new, and I thought I'd try this forum even though I dont technically have an eating disorder-- what I have is terrible body image, I think I am a cow, I live in LA and work in the fashion industry where girls my height(5'10") weigh 30 lbs less than I do, and to top it off, have been on Paxil cr for anxiety since Oct and in Dec suddenly gained about 15 lbs in a month--UGH UGH UGH.
I think the only reason I dont starve myself is I dont do drugs, I dont drink, I LOVE to eat, I love food, so that is my so-called vice. In normal society would not be fat, but in my mirror( and head) I am revolting. I wonder how much of this is influence of media images? Out here at my gym, size 0-2 is the norm. I am huge at a size 10.
Anyone else hate their bodies, and what to do about it, also, any advice about the Paxil-- does it cause weight gain? Is it because it makes you crave sugary foods? or does it actually impact your metabolism?
Sigh....
photogirlla
Posted by Racer on January 29, 2005, at 17:49:30
In reply to bad body image, posted by photogirlla on January 29, 2005, at 15:24:49
I hate my body, too, so I can relate to that. And to comparing yourself to others, which is just gonna leave you feeling as bad as it does me. I'm not built to be slender and willowy, and should just learn to accept looking like me, but that's easier said than done.
Paxil can cause weight gain, so that could indeed be part of your recent weight gain. As for whether or not that's a problem, it all really depends on your body. If by "30 pounds more" than others your height, you mean that you weigh 140, compared to 110 -- well, that just means you're not nearly as underweight as they are, though you're still underweight. If, on the other hand, you happen to work in an area of the industry where the average 5'10" woman weighs in at 180, and you weigh 210, that's another story.
Have you got a realistic idea of what an optimal weight range for you would be? If not, there's a handly body mass index calculator here at Dr Bob's site: http://www.dr-bob.org/tips/bmi.html That will help you get a more realistic picture of what a healthy weight for you might be. That's a good starting place for you, at least, since if you're not outside that healthy range, you need to focus solely on accepting your own body. If you're over or underweight, though, getting some nutritional counseling might help, too.
There are some books that might help you, too, in improving your body image. One is "The Don't Diet, Live-It! Workbook: Healing Food, Weight, and Body Issues" which has some exercises in it that might help. Another that I've seen recommended is "The Body Image Workbook: An 8-Step Program for Learning to Like Your Looks". Another that came up on Amazon is "The BDD Workbook: Overcome Body Dysmorphic Disorder and End Body Image Obsessions", which might be good since you seem to be sub-threshold for BDD. A lot of other books directed more towards eating disorders might help, too, since the sort of body image distortion you're describing is really part of the same continuum, when you come right down to it.
I think you're wise to address this, since it's so miserable to dislike the body you inhabit. Better to put the work towards something healthy like getting comfortable in your own skin, than to waste it by trying to make your skin fit some other ideal. Good luck.
Posted by photogirlla on January 31, 2005, at 13:41:10
In reply to Re: bad body image, posted by Racer on January 29, 2005, at 17:49:30
Hey Racer
Thanks for the recommended reads, I will check them out since I love to read anyway might as well make it something constructive.
Any suggestions for something that does the same as Paxil but does NOT make you gain weight?
I'm 5'10 and like to weigh 150-- because I am muscular, that makes me pretty thin, size 6-- but have gained 15 from the Paxil which sucks and does not look nice. Is mostly around stomach, UGH. The models I work with are 110 lbs-- but I do realize that is age, genetics, bone structure and LUCK.
cheers
Posted by Racer on February 2, 2005, at 11:12:07
In reply to Re: bad body image, posted by photogirlla on January 31, 2005, at 13:41:10
> Any suggestions for something that does the same as Paxil but does NOT make you gain weight?
You know, I can't really recommend anything that does the same thing Paxil does without weight gain, because everyone responds differently. If you go to to this page -- http://sl.schofield3.home.att.net/medicine/psychiatric_drugs_chart.html -- you can check out the effects of various drugs. That would give you a starting point, to talk to your doctor about. (By the way, you *have* spoken to your doctor, haven't you?)The other thing to remember is that Paxil can be sedating, and most of the more weight neutral meds tend to be a bit activating. You would likely be making a trade off there, so it you tend towards an anxious depression, you might be what my mother calls S.O.L. Bad news, huh?
> I'm 5'10 and like to weigh 150-- because I am muscular, that makes me pretty thin, size 6-- but have gained 15 from the Paxil which sucks and does not look nice. Is mostly around stomach, UGH. The models I work with are 110 lbs-- but I do realize that is age, genetics, bone structure and LUCK.
> cheersActually, as someone who is -- or rather used to be -- 5'9", and was somewhat less than 100 pounds at my sickest, I'll tell you that it's not luck, age, genetics, or bone structure for a lot of those models. It's just plain eating disorder. Truly. They won't tell you that, and may not know it themselves. But trust me -- that's an eating disordered weight.
When I was in college, I was a photographer's model. At 5'9" -- before my AN related bone loss started the shrinking process -- I weighed between 115 and 120 through those years. I got fired a lot because I don't show up on film the way anyone expects, which disappointed a lot of photographers. The one photographer who learned to shoot me extraordinarily well used to yell at me a lot for being "fat" at those weights. While I was already anorexic before I started working with her, her pressure to be unrealistically thin certainly confirmed my distorted view of myself. A lot of those models probably have some pretty deep psychopathologies built up around their appearance, and use a kind of arrogance to keep people away from them.
As for you, beyond finding a less weight inducing drug, how about working on the body image itself? Even if you don't have an eating disorder, the fact that you're apologizing for a healthy weight makes me think that you're putting a lot of value onto your appearance. Yeah, well, I do it too. But there are things you can do about it, and they may very well help you.
How old are you, may I ask? I'm middle aged, and still anorexic, so there's no criticism implied.
I haven't read it, but there's another book by Joan Jacobs Brumberg, who wrote "Fasting Girls". It's called "The Body Project : An Intimate History of American Girls" and it might be helpful to you. It's on my long list of books to read, although who knows when I'll get to it, since I've got a dozen other things in front of it.
Good luck to you, whatever you decide.
Posted by photogirlla on February 4, 2005, at 11:17:13
In reply to Re: bad body image » photogirlla, posted by Racer on February 2, 2005, at 11:12:07
Racer
Im glad to see someone else who is familiar with the modeling industry...I cant beleive they told you you were fat at 110 lbs, or 120. That is soooo skinny for 5'9"! I was in my 130's at 5'10.5" and strangely did not get yelled at for weight, but was doing more hair and cosmetic stuff than fashion.
I'm 35, btw.
Its funny, I dont value appearance in my normal life,and certainly dont judge others by the standards I judge myself, but as a photographer myself I am always searching for that photogenic quality in models...
I shoot many plus size models( many who are US size 10, gotta love the fashion industry, that is PLUS??), as well as straight sized ones; I prefer it, makes me feel good to bring out the beauty in "normal" sized women. I'm pretty new at shooting, so I have to make the rounds, and thats when I realize even as a behind-the-camera person I get judged favorably by being a tall blond ex-model by potential clients. Fashion industry is quite a sideshow.
Which of course feeds my body image issues-- Ive read Fasting Girls, btw, it is good and interesting. I also realize that my issues cannot solely be traced to societal standards, most of my crap is internal, family related, brain related, etc. But just because I dont have an eating disorder doesnt mean I'm not messed up about the same issues, it just externalizes differently.
I dont want to be on any of the cracky meds, am nervous enough already. I'll just up the workouts and hope for the best-- and maybe get to a different doc( am getting paxil from family doc) who specializes in pharmacology when I get back from traveling....
thanks for responding:)
Cheers
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 4, 2005, at 21:54:36
In reply to what my weight means UGH, posted by photogirlla on February 4, 2005, at 11:17:13
> Ive read Fasting Girls, btw, it is good and interesting.
I'd just like to plug the double double quotes feature at this site:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#amazon
The first time anyone refers to a book, movie, or music without using this option, I post this to try to make sure he or she at least knows about it. It's just an option, though, and doesn't *have* to be used. If people *choose* not to use it, I'd be interested why not, but I'd like that redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020918/msgs/7717.html
Thanks!
Bob
Posted by Racer on February 4, 2005, at 23:40:51
In reply to what my weight means UGH, posted by photogirlla on February 4, 2005, at 11:17:13
Yep, I hear ya.
Listen, the same issues are the same issues. It's a harsh reality that you're in an industry in an area that values appearance over all else. Unless you choose to change your entire life, that's not likely to change. But you can still change, right?
How about checking out women's groups that work towards body acceptance? Or check out some of the work books like "Don't Diet, Live It!" or "Eating Disorders Journey Towards Recovery Workbook" and do some of the exercises in there to try to help you accept your body as it is, as well as working out and eating healthy foods?
Please feel free to continue this dialog, because I hate to think of you -- just a couple of hundred miles from me, by the way -- suffering from this. And the more I say it to others, the more it starts to seep through into my brain, too. Someday, if I work really hard, I won't feel this fat, either...
I hope.
Posted by CareBear04 on February 7, 2005, at 16:52:50
In reply to bad body image, posted by photogirlla on January 29, 2005, at 15:24:49
i don't hate myself or think i'm too fat, but i do have messed up body image. i can't make fair or accurate comparisons between myself and another small person because i have no idea what i really look like. i hear that i'm underweight, that i need to eat more, blah and blah, but i don't feel like there's anything wrong with me. if anything, i feel like i need to drop a few. i have especial issues with my thighs. how big are they really? i tend to think my body is larger than life when i know it's not really. grrrrr. anyone know a way out of this? i think it runs in my family.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Eating | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.