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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by pseudoname on July 18, 2006, at 17:55:02
And it's a book, too.
The 50-minute radio interview from this morning is available to hear online now (or order tapes) at http://www.wamu.org/programs/dr/06/07/18.php#10603
It was an interview with Madeline Levine, a Malibu therapist and the author of "The Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage Are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids". In her practice, she sees a lot of children from upper middle-class homes (she says about $120k-160k in household income), and she has been seeing an increasing trend that's now backed up by hard research.
These kids, she says, are put under enormous pressure to be “perfect”, get destructively over-supervised, and end up feeling – far more often than most other kids – “empty”. She says research shows that kids in this social arena suffer three times as much depression as other teens but enter therapy or other treatment far LESS than kids who are less well-off. This is because therapy is seen to mean you're not up to par and these kids have to be up to par.
Kids, like lawns, have to meet the neighborhood's very high standards. And the kids *do* meet the standards: they do well in school, they have great manners & social skills, etc. They're actually NOT spoiled with possessions. Nor are the parents stereotypically “distant” – they're very involved and attentive. But the kids are allowed no freedom from the social class's many performance demands (placed by their parents) and their failures are not tolerated. The parents can depend almost exclusively for their own non-work identity on the “success” of their kids and end up placing unnatural pressure on the kids for carrying the entire household's self-image. And the kids come to see everything they achieve as a pastiche for others to look at without real meaning for themselves.
It was one of the best interviews I've ever heard. Even though I'm not a parent, I had some earlier experience as a child ;-) and I really had my perspective deepened by this.
Levine says she's actually not talking about *rich* kids, just the kids of professionals and the like. She says there's no research data on rich kids and mental health or therapy or upbringing at all.
I have to read the book.
Posted by MidnightBlue on July 18, 2006, at 23:14:00
In reply to GREAT show on “privileged” kids, posted by pseudoname on July 18, 2006, at 17:55:02
That sounds like a book I would like to read, too.
MB
Posted by llrrrpp on August 1, 2006, at 23:57:14
In reply to Re: GREAT show on “privileged” kids » pseudoname, posted by MidnightBlue on July 18, 2006, at 23:14:00
yep. I've been in this position before. as a kid. knowing that my older sibling was a complete fu*k up, I was the 'good one' the 'smart one' the one that would make mom and dad proud. talk about pressure! I was the one that they would boast about. the one who plays violin so wonderfully and wins all the academic competitions.
who gives a cr*p? At least I had a lot of freedom. got to run around, with no curfew. (lots of guilt, but no curfew)
-ll
Posted by Dinah on August 2, 2006, at 12:11:56
In reply to GREAT show on “privileged” kids, posted by pseudoname on July 18, 2006, at 17:55:02
I'm not sure such stereotyping is at all fair. I doubt a program on the shortcomings of economically disadvantaged parents would be as well received. Is it somehow better that it's a group that is perceived as advantaged?
And I'm not sure where the idea that therapy is avoided comes from. Although I'm not in the income range she describes, I know many parents who are, and therapy is no more a stigma than going to the hairdresser. Not for them and not for their children. In this day and age?
Perhaps she's talking about a subset of people in this economic class. A subset that values certain things, like conformity or superficial things. To think that just because your job gives you a certain income that you must suddenly become part of a group who just happen to make the same amount of income seems a bit odd to me. And such a narrow income range it was, too.
There are good and bad parents in every income level. Truly privileged kids are the ones with good parents.
I would think the parents most likely to view their kids' success as their own would be the ones who aren't secure with their own identity or what they've accomplished in life. I see no reason that would be more prevalent in one income group than another. Although it may be more common among those who value comformity and superficial things, since those things might give a sense of security to parents who are fundamentally insecure in their own selves?
This is the end of the thread.
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