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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by woolav on September 23, 2005, at 16:52:56
My soon to be 16 yr old (who has never done anything wrong before)has gotten caught stealing from a local store. My husband went to get her before the police did.
And come to find out, she tied to steal some otc medicine that her friends told her made you high.
OMG>
I cant beleive this.
what do i do?
I trusted her before, and never dreamed she would do something like this.
Help
Posted by crazy teresa on September 23, 2005, at 21:27:53
In reply to OMG, my daughter is going down the wrong path, posted by woolav on September 23, 2005, at 16:52:56
That's just a symptom of whatever is really bothering her. Has she been dumped by a boyfriend, anything like that lately? Everything is so over-exagerated in their minds with all of the horomonal changes, etc.
Our lives were hell when my oldest was her age. She saw us as the absolute enemy. It took a long time in therapy for her to finally open up. No way could I have done on my own what they did without help.
Feel free to babblemail if you want to vent off this board. I can certainly empathize with what you're dealing with.
crazy t
Posted by woolav on September 27, 2005, at 6:26:49
In reply to Re: OMG, my daughter is going down the wrong path » woolav, posted by crazy teresa on September 23, 2005, at 21:27:53
I think therapy is the right choice for my daughter as well. I got her to confess the real reason for what she did, and she has been hiding the fact that she has depression like me and her father. She says she is never happy and doesnt know why...(i know how that feels)so, i am going to get her into therapy..
thanks
Posted by greyskyeyes on September 27, 2005, at 16:24:52
In reply to OMG, my daughter is going down the wrong path, posted by woolav on September 23, 2005, at 16:52:56
woolav, don't panic. It's a phase many teens go through - I'm not condoning it in any manner, mind you. I'm ashamed to admit that I shoplifted myself when I was 14-16. Often it's a result of peer pressure, a way of fitting in. I did it because my 2 best friends urged me to - they did it themselves. It was also a rebellion thing... I often took stuff my parents would never buy for me and I couldn't afford, and got satisfaction that they would hate a) my having it and b) the fact that I'm stealing. There's also that heart-pounding thrill that You Could Be Caught... and pulling it off successfully is a bit of an ego rush - hey, I'm smarter than They are. Quite frankly it boosted my self-esteem (I had very low self-esteem, still do) to get away with it and also to get my friends' approval (you might want to discuss her choice of friends with her, BTW). It was more about that than about the material goods. Although deep down I always knew it was wrong and hated myself for doing it.
Again: I do not in any way, shape or form believe stealing (or seeking to get high) is right. It definitely needs to be nipped in the bud and therapy is a great idea. She and her therapist can work together to find the underlying reason behind it. The key is to let her know it's completely unacceptable, but you still love her and want to help her to resolve the problem. My parents didn't do that... they treated me like there was something fundamentally wrong with me and I was too ashamed to talk about it in my therapy at the time. It's only now (years later) that I've come to understand the underlying motives. It's VITAL that you don't treat her like a pariah.
Ack, I write novels. I didn't mean to ramble. I hope this helps, and I wish you the best of luck.
~ grey
Posted by crazy teresa on September 28, 2005, at 12:15:35
In reply to Re: OMG, my daughter is going down the wrong path, posted by woolav on September 27, 2005, at 6:26:49
I think that sounds like a good place to start. I hope there is a good one in your area who deals with kids.
I would hate to be a teen again! It was hard the first time, but would be so much harder in today's society.
Let us know how it goes. Is she feeling any better?
crazy t
Posted by woolav on September 28, 2005, at 17:41:24
In reply to therapy » woolav, posted by crazy teresa on September 28, 2005, at 12:15:35
Thanks all...
she is feeling better, but i know there will be another breakdown. I think she has learned her lesson about shop lifting, she was sooo humiliated. I was just concerned more with the underlying reason. So, I will try therapy...:)
S
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