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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 8 to 32 of 32. Go back in thread:
Posted by Deneb on April 6, 2009, at 22:43:10
In reply to Re: This isn't a Dating Site, posted by verne on April 6, 2009, at 21:49:18
It hurt, but I am OK now.
Posted by Deneb on April 6, 2009, at 23:35:31
In reply to I forgive you now, posted by Deneb on April 6, 2009, at 22:43:10
Not OK again. :-(
Someone help me deal with this please.
I feel bad.
Posted by Cass on April 7, 2009, at 0:05:30
In reply to Re: I forgive you now, posted by Deneb on April 6, 2009, at 23:35:31
I don't know verne well, but hopefully his apology was genuine and he really wasn't trying to hurt you. But if you feel hurt, you feel hurt. You have my sympathy. I hope you feel better.
Posted by rskontos on April 7, 2009, at 1:03:47
In reply to Re: I forgive you now, posted by Cass on April 7, 2009, at 0:05:30
Deneb,
I hope you feel better. It was a hurtful thing to say but the apology was nice.
I hope you are continued to be dissappointed by Dr. Bob but I am a little afraid you will be......
rsk
Posted by Deneb on April 7, 2009, at 1:37:32
In reply to Re: Hope you feel better...Deneb, posted by rskontos on April 7, 2009, at 1:03:47
Thanks Cass, Thanks rskontos
It was weird, it was like I was triggered, then was OK, then triggered again. I think I am OK again now. Gawd, so unstable.
Posted by verne on April 9, 2009, at 0:23:38
In reply to Re: Hope you feel better...Deneb, posted by Deneb on April 7, 2009, at 1:37:32
Deneb,
Again, I'm very sorry (and not for fear of being blocked, which should come for lots of other posts anyway).
It seemed like you got triggered when you accepted my apology and said, we were "cool". Perhaps, that was too much, too soon. Let's leave it at: verne wasn't cool for what he said but maybe someday I'll forgive him. No pressure. You don't need to forgive me - I'm fine.
I can't live down all the stuff I've done to people (nothing criminal really). All the borderline phone calls (mostly answering machine messages I left). I've burned every bridge, insulted pastors, neighbors, family and friends.
I don't need you to forgive me or accept me. Seriously. I'm not saying, hold a grudge, but don't go against what you feel. I was a complete jerk for what I said and you don't need to swallow it and say, I'm still "cool with you".
Geez, I'm shooting from the hip. (and without a degree) Don't twist yourself into a knot trying to "forgive" me. Letting it go or expressing your feelings would be better.
but how do you express yourself here?
Deneb, you're a good person with lots of potential. I'm the court jester (bad one at that) causing mischief.
I wish I could take back every mean thing I've said. I came to realize that I will never "live it down" - all that I've done wrong.
Deneb, imagine when you've done something wrong and how sorry you were and wish you could have done it over. We are in the same boat, the same lifeboat.
Verne
Posted by 10derHeart on April 9, 2009, at 1:00:56
In reply to Re: Hope you feel better...Deneb, posted by verne on April 9, 2009, at 0:23:38
What an amazing post, verne. You express things so well.
You sound just like the rest of us - a perfectly flawed human being. I think we've all made these sorts of mistakes in life. Humans hurt one another. So much of your description fits me like a glove, too. All we can do is keep trying and move on forward each day and try to be more like what we want to be and less like that person who has to wish s/he could take back so much....not so *&&^%^ easy, not at all....'specially with these lovely mental health issues always in the way....
I've known Deneb for a while. It was great, all the things you wrote to her, but I'll bet it's really possible she *is* over it and does forgive you. My take on forgiveness is that it's way more about the person doing the forgiving than the person receiving the forgiveness.
Hope I haven't been intrusive here. I just was touched by your post. It's takes a special will and strength to speak - and publicly, too - about something we've done wrong. I often can't find it in me - too proud and embarrassed, I suppose. I choose running away, many times.
You didn't. I think that's huge.
Posted by Sigismund on April 9, 2009, at 1:10:04
In reply to Re: Hope you feel better...Deneb, posted by verne on April 9, 2009, at 0:23:38
That was wonderful.
There have been so many remarkable people on Babble I feel privileged to have met.
It's not a question of them being good or well behaved or civil, to say nothing of feeling good.
Maybe they have taught me something abut the human heart and truthfulness.
Posted by Deneb on April 9, 2009, at 21:57:36
In reply to Re: Hope you feel better...Deneb, posted by verne on April 9, 2009, at 0:23:38
Hi Verne
10derHeart is right, I really am OK about this now.
Thanks for apologizing, that was nice.
I'm not one to hold grudges or anything, never have.
I am OK now, not upset anymore. :-)
Posted by Cass on April 9, 2009, at 23:08:26
In reply to Re: Hope you feel better...Deneb, posted by verne on April 9, 2009, at 0:23:38
verne,
That was a very sensitive message to deneb. It seemed honest and self-aware, but apparently you have a long history of insulting people, and perhaps once in awhile people provoked it; it happens, although I'm certainly not referring to deneb. But in the case where someone didn't provoke it, I wonder why you continue to insult people when you're well aware that you have this problem. In a way I sense resignation, like you just accept this quality you have as if it's innate.
Posted by Deneb on April 12, 2009, at 17:40:19
In reply to Re: Hope you feel better...Deneb » verne, posted by Cass on April 9, 2009, at 23:08:26
I'm not sure why, but these few weeks I've been just yearning for contact from Dr. Bob.
He doesn't respond and I get disappointed.
I think the beginning of unattachment (is that even a word?) has begun.
I find communicating with Dr. Bob is unpredictable. It is like a slot machine. I put coins into it and once in a while it pays off (ie. I get attention from Dr. Bob), but at some point if I keep putting coins in and get nothing in return I will stop trying. I think I am reaching that point.
I have to come to terms that Dr. Bob is just stranger admin guy I don't know.
The fantasy is fading. I am saddened.
Posted by Cass on April 12, 2009, at 18:03:04
In reply to I think the unthinkable is starting to happen, posted by Deneb on April 12, 2009, at 17:40:19
Deneb,
I have a lot of sympathy for you because when I was younger I would get fixated on teachers or counselors who seemed kindhearted. I would fantasize a lot about them; they were sort of "savior" figures to me. I would dream that they cared deeply about me and they would rescue me and give me the guidance I needed. I had very weak parental figures. So this is what I see you doing with Dr. Bob except the only difference is that you're very open about it. I always kept it a secret except in therapy. I admire the fact that you talk about it so openly. Because I identify with you, I feel strongly that you will become more secure and develop greater self-esteem. As you get to know yourself better and know what you're values are, people will respect and acknowledge you for that. Right now you may feel vulnerable a lot, but there will come a day when you will feel much stronger within yourself. So the fixation on Dr. Bob or others will probably subside over time. Good wishes.
Posted by Deneb on April 12, 2009, at 18:18:31
In reply to Re: I think the unthinkable is starting to happen » Deneb, posted by Cass on April 12, 2009, at 18:03:04
Yeah, I think it will subside over time now. I used to think I would love Dr. Bob forever.
Maybe my recent post are an escalation in wanting attention from Dr. Bob. Sort of like how you teach little kids to stop a behaviour. LOL I guess if Dr. Bob were to suddenly start joking around with me and interacting with me this will reinforce the escalation type behaviour.
I am very primitive in my emotions. LOL I see my pdoc using simple reinforcing/not reinforcing techniques on me. I see them and they still work on me. rofl.
I think I will be OK with this change. Maybe this is another stage of growth for me. Just starting to mature a bit more maybe.
Posted by Dinah on April 12, 2009, at 18:29:34
In reply to I think the unthinkable is starting to happen, posted by Deneb on April 12, 2009, at 17:40:19
You've been talking about him in therapy haven't you? And linking feelings about him to feelings about your Dad?
I find that it really is possible to analyze feelings to death, or at least into oblivion. Sometimes that's kind of sad. I'd rather keep the fantasy. But then I was absolutely furious with my parents for telling me there was no Santa. :)
Posted by Deneb on April 12, 2009, at 18:51:36
In reply to Re: I think the unthinkable is starting to happen » Deneb, posted by Dinah on April 12, 2009, at 18:29:34
Yeah, I've been talking about Dr. Bob in therapy. My pdoc actually started the conversation, probably because she show how I was hurt over Dr. Bob not responding.
Maybe the fantasy of Dr. Bob was like a security blanket for me. One day I will outgrow it.
I only believed in Santa for a short while. It was nice while it lasted. lol
Posted by gardenergirl on April 12, 2009, at 19:40:56
In reply to Re: I think the unthinkable is starting to happen, posted by Deneb on April 12, 2009, at 18:18:31
> I see them and they still work on me. rofl.
But seeing them means you can have more choice about your response. And to me, that's very empowering.
gg
Posted by verne on April 12, 2009, at 21:04:52
In reply to Re: Hope you feel better...Deneb » verne, posted by Cass on April 9, 2009, at 23:08:26
I struggle with a combination of histronics and anti-social behavior every time I drink. I'm not resigned to it at all. In fact, I apologized to Deneb within a half hour when I had a lucid moment.
Fortuantely, my drunken mean-streak is typical borderline personality disorder and manifests itself with inappropriate messages, whether over the phone, on answering machines, or email. Wouldn't happen through regular mail or in person - never. I malign others on impulse when I'm drunk and on the computer or phone because it is HANDY.
Under Bob's strict guidelines your post was clearly a putdown, suggesting I had some sort of "history" of this. I've seen blocks for less.
Verne
Posted by Deneb on April 12, 2009, at 22:10:53
In reply to Re: I think the unthinkable is starting to happen » Deneb, posted by Dinah on April 12, 2009, at 18:29:34
I wish he would reply to my posts and joke around with me and we could have fun conversations.
:-(
How do I get over Dr. Bob?
Posted by Dinah on April 12, 2009, at 22:39:31
In reply to Still not over Dr. Bob, posted by Deneb on April 12, 2009, at 22:10:53
Keep on analyzing it. :)
Posted by Deneb on April 12, 2009, at 22:52:45
In reply to Still not over Dr. Bob, posted by Deneb on April 12, 2009, at 22:10:53
At first glance it looks like there is nothing to get over because Dr. Bob never had a relationship with me.
I think I just interpreted things that way.
Well I know intellectually that Dr. Bob couldn't be my friend, but I don't know about emotionally.
I think at times I really thought Dr. Bob was my friend, or felt like it anyways.
It doesn't help that Dr. Bob is so mysterious in the way he interacts with us, although he seems to be getting better these few days and we get a glimpse of what he is thinking.
I also wish Dr. Bob cared about me. He probably doesn't give me much though. Why does it matter so much? My pdoc says it is because if people care about it, it means I am a lovable, worthwhile person. I know others care about me here. I don't know why it is important that I think Dr. Bob does.
Maybe it goes back to my shaky attachments to my parents.
Posted by Deneb on April 12, 2009, at 23:11:57
In reply to Re: Still not over Dr. Bob » Deneb, posted by Deneb on April 12, 2009, at 22:52:45
Sometimes I wish I would die and become a ghost and haunt Dr. Bob. I won't harm him in any way, I'd just like being close to him and seeing him live out his life.
Posted by Cass on April 12, 2009, at 23:15:10
In reply to Re: Hope you feel better...Deneb, posted by verne on April 9, 2009, at 0:23:38
verne,
You wrote: "I can't live down all the stuff I've done to people (nothing criminal really). All the borderline phone calls (mostly answering machine messages I left). I've burned every bridge, insulted pastors, neighbors, family and friends."
When I wrote that you had a history of insulting people, it was a mere paraphrase of what you wrote.
Posted by Deneb on April 14, 2009, at 0:28:18
In reply to Re: Still not over Dr. Bob, posted by Deneb on April 12, 2009, at 23:11:57
Sorry, I don't mean to bring death into this. There is no way I'd kill myself for the slight possibility of being a ghost to haunt Dr. Bob. lol
Dr. Bob's life is probably way boring just like the rest of us.
Don't worry, I am not delusional, at least not yet. ROFL
> Sometimes I wish I would die and become a ghost and haunt Dr. Bob. I won't harm him in any way, I'd just like being close to him and seeing him live out his life.
>
>
Posted by Deneb on April 20, 2009, at 1:06:13
In reply to Re: Still not over Dr. Bob, posted by Deneb on April 14, 2009, at 0:28:18
Dr. Bob is posting a lot now. He is getting involved. I am happy babblers are important to him.
Now even though he doesn't respond to my posts socially, I am happy he is here now.
:-)
I love you Dr. Bob. (((((((((((Dr. Bob))))))))))
Don't worry, not crazy now. rofl
Posted by verne on April 20, 2009, at 22:37:28
In reply to Dr. Bob is here now, posted by Deneb on April 20, 2009, at 1:06:13
I recommend you see the movie, "Magic" Who's really here?
veeble
This is the end of the thread.
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