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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on October 6, 2006, at 23:29:28
I've reported some possible incivilities and I don't know if I reported them based solely on them being uncivil. I think I was a little or sometimes a lot angry when I decided to report them.
I think maybe I was trying to "get back" at people whom I had perceived to have hurt me.
I don't feel particularly good about doing that. I'm sorry I did that.
I think I did want to get people who "hurt me" in trouble. But...to be fair, you can only get into trouble if you are uncivil in the first place.
I don't think it was wrong of me to report the possible incivilities, but my reasons for doing so weren't exactly honourable.
Deneb*
Posted by SLS on October 7, 2006, at 9:04:24
In reply to Reporting possible incivilities, posted by Deneb on October 6, 2006, at 23:29:28
> I've reported some possible incivilities and I don't know if I reported them based solely on them being uncivil. I think I was a little or sometimes a lot angry when I decided to report them.
>
> I think maybe I was trying to "get back" at people whom I had perceived to have hurt me.
>
> I don't feel particularly good about doing that. I'm sorry I did that.
>
> I think I did want to get people who "hurt me" in trouble. But...to be fair, you can only get into trouble if you are uncivil in the first place.
>
> I don't think it was wrong of me to report the possible incivilities, but my reasons for doing so weren't exactly honourable.
>
> Deneb*
The point to remember is that incivilities do hurt. The reason that there is a reporting system is to keep Psycho-Babble safe. So, it makes sense that any incivility you feel the need to report might also have been hurtful to you. The emotions you feel are not to be judged so much as understood. It seems like you have quite a bit of insight into them right now. If you are not happy with your behavior, perhaps next time you might want to wait and allow more time to pass so that you can process the hurt emotionally and intellectually before acting. However, be aware that you might very well have taken the same action anyway.If someone you barely know punches you in the nose and you begin to bleed profusely, what actions would you take if the authorities were immediately available? Would you wait until you stop bleeding and the pain recedes to decide to forget the matter? Hurt can be a determining factor when evaluating the desirability of taking action.
Anyway, that's one perspective.
It is possible that the posts you reported will be judged as being civil, and that you felt hurt by them anyway.
I'm glad you shared your feelings here. That you are uncomfortable with how your emotions and thoughts unfolded and how they motivated you to act is an indicator that you are receptive to, and have already accomplished, psychological growth. You made it look easy.
:-)
- Scott
Posted by sleepygirl on October 8, 2006, at 0:48:48
In reply to Re: Reporting possible incivilities - Growing » Deneb, posted by SLS on October 7, 2006, at 9:04:24
I haven't a thing to say, but....
((((Deneb))))
Posted by Lindenblüte on October 8, 2006, at 7:16:34
In reply to Re: Reporting possible incivilities - Growing, posted by sleepygirl on October 8, 2006, at 0:48:48
Deneb,
If something that someone wrote upset you, your responsibility is to either respond in a civil manner (which you have been doing), and possibly to click the little box at the bottom to ask the deputies to review the posts involved.Please don't feel guilty that you were not able to avoid or thwart a situation all on your own. Sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. It's okay to ask for help. It's really impressive that you realized that you were upset, and yet you still managed to keep yourself under control enough to remain civil and reflect on why and how you felt hurt. I think that this is an opportunity to learn more about yourself, and about human communication in general. Many people have a really hard time recognizing why they feel the way that they do. The first step is to recognize the feelings for what they are, and the next step is to figure out the series of thoughts that might precede or amplify a certain feeling. For many poeple, it is also useful to place a feeling in a more historical context- what similar situations in the past have aroused such feelings? What dissimilar situations in the past have aroused such feelings.
Sounds like you're on your way. Sorry you felt hurt. That's no fun ((((Deneb*))))
-Li
Posted by rainbutterfly on October 8, 2006, at 8:30:25
In reply to Reporting possible incivilities, posted by Deneb on October 6, 2006, at 23:29:28
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings re. this. It shows strength and growth,
butterfly((( Deneb )))
Posted by Phillipa on October 8, 2006, at 21:35:59
In reply to Re: Reporting possible incivilities » Deneb, posted by rainbutterfly on October 8, 2006, at 8:30:25
Deneb I've also noticed your posts tend to help others too. A goal of yours wasn't it? Love Phillipa
This is the end of the thread.
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