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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 47 to 71 of 71. Go back in thread:
Posted by muffled on April 7, 2006, at 9:49:33
In reply to Re: restored it » Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on April 7, 2006, at 8:35:21
you have the power to delete.
I can't do that.
I wouldn't want support from you, but as administrator you can remove that post as so many have asked.
Your just comming acrosss as either manipulative or a stubborn mule.
Mebbe you a nice guy. But I just not seeing that right now.
Makes me sad.
Muffled
Posted by muffled on April 7, 2006, at 9:50:39
In reply to Re: restored it » Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on April 7, 2006, at 8:35:21
Posted by NikkiT2 on April 7, 2006, at 11:09:44
In reply to Yea Bob, just like Dinah said..., posted by muffled on April 7, 2006, at 9:49:33
I think we can take it that Dr Bob won't be removing this post.
Anyway, I know after a previous similar problem, the offending word was asterixed out.
Could, maybe, that work in this situation? If the nasty words were asterixed out?
Nikki
Posted by wildcard11 on April 7, 2006, at 13:22:04
In reply to Compromise idea.., posted by NikkiT2 on April 7, 2006, at 11:09:44
i agree...Mr.Bob, you deleted the personal info. of the other poster involved that THEY themselves posted so the least you cld. do is xxxx out the neg. words. i think the person it was addressed to will still feel plum AWFUL but it's better than doing NOTHING...whatcha think???
Posted by wildcard11 on April 7, 2006, at 13:22:47
above from Nikki about the post most want deleted....
Posted by muffled on April 7, 2006, at 13:24:58
In reply to yeah » NikkiT2, posted by wildcard11 on April 7, 2006, at 13:22:04
Posted by wildcard11 on April 7, 2006, at 13:28:06
In reply to Don't understand whole thing :-( (nm), posted by muffled on April 7, 2006, at 13:24:58
allow it to keep hurting you. it has hurt enough. hopefully something will be changed b/c of persistence...(((muffled)))
Posted by muffled on April 7, 2006, at 13:40:29
In reply to please don't » muffled, posted by wildcard11 on April 7, 2006, at 13:28:06
Posted by Phillipa on April 7, 2006, at 17:16:08
In reply to Great Idea, posted by wildcard11 on April 7, 2006, at 13:22:47
Well what is it? Love Phillipa
Posted by wildcard11 on April 7, 2006, at 17:29:37
In reply to Re: Great Idea » wildcard11, posted by Phillipa on April 7, 2006, at 17:16:08
the words in the post that most want deleted since Mr.Bob won't delete it....
Posted by special_k on April 7, 2006, at 17:57:53
In reply to To xxx out » Phillipa, posted by wildcard11 on April 7, 2006, at 17:29:37
> the words in the post that most want deleted since Mr.Bob won't delete it....
hmm. and not just that he wouldn't delete it but he actively went and RESTORED it after it was deleted...
i mean... if deleting it is fairly understandably a show of support for jyl then what is restoring it supposed to be?
i think there do need to be some serious changes around here.
Posted by gardenergirl on April 7, 2006, at 23:59:19
In reply to Re: To xxx out, posted by special_k on April 7, 2006, at 17:57:53
> > i mean... if deleting it is fairly understandably a show of support for jyl then what is restoring it supposed to be?
I can only speculate, of course. But my assumption is that Dr. Bob restored it for consistency's sake. There is precedent for leaving similarly upsetting posts on the boards. I speak from personal experience on this one. The post is still there, and I think it might even be pre-asterisking. Not that you could mistake what is said if it's asterisked, anyway...
I'm not saying I agree with restoring JamesK's post. And frankly, I'd love to see the two in particular I'm thinking of deleted, although one is part of an extensive thread, so a marker of some sort would help prevent crazy-making. But I never expected Dr. Bob would agree to delete the post about jyl, judging from his past decisions.
And I suppose that judging where to draw the line on deleting posts which someone feels hurt by would be the subject of great debate. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Just a line that would be very difficult to define.
Yuck, I feel like I just defined a lose-lose situation.
gg
Posted by Phillipa on April 8, 2006, at 0:05:34
In reply to To play devil's advocate, posted by gardenergirl on April 7, 2006, at 23:59:19
Ahhh gg don't feel bad. Love Jan
Posted by special_k on April 8, 2006, at 0:19:45
In reply to To play devil's advocate, posted by gardenergirl on April 7, 2006, at 23:59:19
> And I suppose that judging where to draw the line on deleting posts which someone feels hurt by would be the subject of great debate. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Just a line that would be very difficult to define.
Yeah. But posts do get deleted sometimes.
(So he does make judgements of that kind)
He said he could see Jyl / Auntiemel's point re it being bad enough to delete.
Both Jyl and James wanted it deleted.
So all of those things considered...
>
>
Posted by Phillipa on April 8, 2006, at 0:23:00
In reply to Re: To play devil's advocate » gardenergirl, posted by Phillipa on April 8, 2006, at 0:05:34
Do the duputies and Bob vote? Love Phillipa
Posted by gardenergirl on April 8, 2006, at 1:16:11
In reply to Re: To play devil's advocate » gardenergirl, posted by Phillipa on April 8, 2006, at 0:05:34
> Ahhh gg don't feel bad. Love Jan
Thanks. But about what?
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on April 8, 2006, at 1:20:54
In reply to Re: To play devil's advocate » gardenergirl, posted by special_k on April 8, 2006, at 0:19:45
> Yeah. But posts do get deleted sometimes.
> (So he does make judgements of that kind)Like I said, I was only speculating. And I know he's deleted before. But I think he does TRY to be consistent, and I suppose it depends on circumstances and his awareness at any given time of what direction past decisions have gone. But really, I have no idea.
> He said he could see Jyl / Auntiemel's point re it being bad enough to delete.
True. I can, too. Just going by the statement I see most often when this comes up, "Sorry, but I don't like to delete posts" or something like that...
> Both Jyl and James wanted it deleted.
I'm not sure how much weight that is given in a decision like this one.
> So all of those things considered...
All things considered, another puzzle, I think. Or semi-blank slate?
Take care,
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on April 8, 2006, at 1:21:58
In reply to Re: To play devil's advocate » Phillipa, posted by Phillipa on April 8, 2006, at 0:23:00
> Do the deputies and Bob vote? Love Phillipa
We have on some decisions, but not as routine process.
gg
Posted by special_k on April 8, 2006, at 2:16:56
In reply to Re: To play devil's advocate » Phillipa, posted by gardenergirl on April 8, 2006, at 1:21:58
let me guess...
you vote when bob either doesn't care or knows the vote will fall his way?
has he ever let you guys decide something he didn't want?
?
Posted by Dr. Bob on April 8, 2006, at 5:54:22
In reply to Compromise idea.., posted by NikkiT2 on April 7, 2006, at 11:09:44
> you have the power to delete.
> I can't do that.
>
> MuffledNo, but you have the power to support in other ways...
> I know after a previous similar problem, the offending word was asterixed out.
>
> Could, maybe, that work in this situation? If the nasty words were asterixed out?
>
> NikkiMaybe. What word was it last time? And what words would it be this time?
Bob
Posted by muffled on April 8, 2006, at 23:20:35
In reply to Re: Compromise idea.., posted by Dr. Bob on April 8, 2006, at 5:54:22
> you have the power to delete.
> I can't do that.
>
> MuffledNo, but you have the power to support in other ways...
***I tried. But she was torturing herself. And I do that sort of thing sometimes too. And its hard to stop. And you feel worse and worse and the bad inside comes up so bad. So there was nothing more I could do for her and I felt powerless and it still seems so f*cking ridiculous to me that a source of torture and pain couldn't be removed or be more effectively dealt with. In the name of civility and empathy and humanity.
I don't get it. I never will get it. If I can help stop or ease anothers pain I will do so. You on the other hand Bob, don't do that. You let people hurt anyways.
Cold, so cold.
So I am mad, so what do I do? Tell you to f*ck off?
How do I civilly tell you that you totally piss me off?
Why don't you tell me how I piss you off civilly and then I'll learn.
But I guess I proly don't piss you off cuz you don't give a flying f*ck near as I can tell.
Thats it.
Muffled
Posted by Deneb on April 8, 2006, at 23:41:53
In reply to Re: Compromise idea.. » Dr. Bob, posted by muffled on April 8, 2006, at 23:20:35
Dr. Bob's not supposed to make us feel better. He can't take our feelings into consideration because he has to remain completely objective about his administrative duties.
I don't know if Dr. Bob gives a "flying f*ck" or not. I suspect he wants the community to continue supporting JYL, but I also suspect there are a lot of things he is unemotional about.
That's just the way Bob is. What can we do? :-P
Deneb*
Posted by muffled on April 8, 2006, at 23:49:08
In reply to Re: Compromise idea.. » muffled, posted by Deneb on April 8, 2006, at 23:41:53
> Dr. Bob's not supposed to make us feel better. He can't take our feelings into consideration because he has to remain completely objective about his administrative duties.
>
> I don't know if Dr. Bob gives a "flying f*ck" or not. I suspect he wants the community to continue supporting JYL, but I also suspect there are a lot of things he is unemotional about.
>
> That's just the way Bob is. What can we do? :-P
>
> Deneb*
Hi Deneb. :-)What you said is exactly why I'm not sure I can be here. Why its not safe emotionally here.
Muffled
Posted by Deneb on April 9, 2006, at 0:34:15
In reply to Re: Compromise idea.., posted by muffled on April 8, 2006, at 23:49:08
> Hi Deneb. :-)
>
> What you said is exactly why I'm not sure I can be here. Why its not safe emotionally here.
> MuffledYeah, as someone here has said, this place can be an "emotional landmine" for some. Even Dr. Bob agreed.
Deneb*
Posted by special_k on April 9, 2006, at 5:07:48
In reply to Re: Compromise idea.. » Dr. Bob, posted by muffled on April 8, 2006, at 23:20:35
> ***I tried.
You were supporting her.
> But she was torturing herself. And I do that sort of thing sometimes too. And its hard to stop.
Yeah. I know. I do this too. But... Nobody can *make* you stop doing that. A friend can only... Be there to hold your hand along the way.
> So there was nothing more I could do for her and I felt powerless
Yeah. It can be hard to see friends hurting. Real hard. I feel bad posting about how bad I'm doing sometimes. Because I know it is draining / hard for other people to read because THERE ISN'T ANYTHING THEY CAN DO TO CHANGE THE SITUATION. But... They can hold my hand along the way. They can invite me into their cave. And that helps. It does. Thats what friends can do...
> and it still seems so f*cking ridiculous to me that a source of torture and pain couldn't be removed or be more effectively dealt with.
Yes, that is a hard one.
I think that maybe...
It is about the point that people frequently request that posts come down for a variety of legitimate reasons:
- Because someone wants to use their posts as evidence against them in a court of law
- Because someone IRL has discovered who their internet identity is
- Because that could lead to all kinds of sh*t IRL
- Because they find something distressingIf he deleted posts everytime a person requested it (for a legitimate reason) then there wouldn't be any archives.
People find a lot of benefit from the archives. Current posters. Also people looking for information. People find medication information from the archives, people might find threads on transference or something and it might help them feel better by normalising their experiences. If people's posts came down... Then people wouldn't be able to benefit from them.
The archives aren't complete (I think stuff has gone AWOL on server changes etc...) But I think it is pretty amazing to read them... To see the boards evolving... I get to reading them sometimes.
So Bob is very reluctant to delete...
Hard thing to weigh...
Present hurt
vs
Benefit to othersWhat benefit to others?
They could read about how someone posts while drunk (or pissed off or whatever he was)
Really hurts someone (lessons in that...)
How the community rails around the hurting person...Hard to weigh...
If he deleted it / allowed it to remain deleted I think he would have been inundated from people who have requested deletions...
I think that is why he takes a fairly hard line with that.
Re privacy...
IMO good reason to advocate small boards that are only viewable to members and are not linked to google ;-)
This is the end of the thread.
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