![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by broken on February 2, 2005, at 15:41:41
Dr Bob,
I simply wanted to state before I left, my opinion on the decision (or perhaps idea) of segregating the Babble community.
You have some fantastic people here; I would imagine you know that better than I do. In my opinion, your idea of separating them has caused more hurt feelings, and even distrust, among the community than your "gated communities" could ever hope to repair. Long time relationships have been damaged, some maybe even permanently because their feedback felt meaningless to them. You simply invalidated their sense of being a part of this group of boards, perhaps unintentionally.
If your core group of visitors decide to leave, you're losing what I perceived Babble to be about. Sharing experiences. Whether it is with meds, grief, abuse, or hospitalization, sharing those experiences is a very comforting thing, at least for me. I came here in search of information, what I found was a large group of people willing to share more than just information, they were willing to share part of their lives with me. That is a difficult thing to do at best, and impossible at worst. Yourself or any other professional cannot replace experience with information, no matter how good your intentions are, or how much effort you put forth.
Don't lose that here. I may be being entirely over dramatic, no one may decide to leave, but why risk that? Maybe try validating their trust and sense of belonging by giving their opinion a bit more weight than it appears you have. I say appears, because only you know how much consideration you have given the wishes of your community.
One last thing... Just because you can see every post here, does not mean you can see every discussion. Many people, such as myself, would not speak about certain personal things in front of 20 members, or 100. The number doesn't matter. The trust matters. I have been privileged enough to speak to many by email, to trade experiences, and offer as much support as I could. Because I didn’t do it on the open boards does not invalidate what I did. I used the boards to meet people, all of the people, and on ocassion, I spoke via email to many one on one, because I felt like the subject was too personal to share in front of any number of people, again 20 or 120, the number didn't matter.
I certainly wish you well, and hope to see the community continue to thrive and grow.
Thank you Dinah, Alexandra, Rain, and Fallen for the emails, and to the entire writing board for your tolerance for my writing, and for the pleasure I got from reading yours.
Take it easy
Chris
Posted by Angel Girl on February 2, 2005, at 16:54:50
In reply to My last post - Dr Bob and all, posted by broken on February 2, 2005, at 15:41:41
Chris
That was extremely eloquent and heartwarming. Am I to interpret your subject heading that you are leaving us? If so, I would urge you to please not do that. PB would have a void without you here. You are a valued member of our community. Please stay with us. It would be a very sad day if you were to leave PB. I sincerely hope that you will reconsider or that I have misinterpretted your subject to mean.
As far as the contents of your post, I applaud you for your insight. You have been welcomed here with open arms, you have made friends. I'm glad that you received far more than what you originally came here for. It would be a shame for you to lose that.
I hope that you will change your mind, PB will lose a very fine individual if you left.
AG
Posted by Fallen4MyT on February 2, 2005, at 18:31:27
In reply to My last post - Dr Bob and all, posted by broken on February 2, 2005, at 15:41:41
Broken well writen and thank you...I will be leaving for good as of friday I cannot support the damages done to many by this change,,,you know I won't miss you hahaha cause I will be emailing you :) Your post said it well.
> Dr Bob,
>
> I simply wanted to state before I left, my opinion on the decision (or perhaps idea) of segregating the Babble community.
>
> You have some fantastic people here; I would imagine you know that better than I do. In my opinion, your idea of separating them has caused more hurt feelings, and even distrust, among the community than your "gated communities" could ever hope to repair. Long time relationships have been damaged, some maybe even permanently because their feedback felt meaningless to them. You simply invalidated their sense of being a part of this group of boards, perhaps unintentionally.
>
> If your core group of visitors decide to leave, you're losing what I perceived Babble to be about. Sharing experiences. Whether it is with meds, grief, abuse, or hospitalization, sharing those experiences is a very comforting thing, at least for me. I came here in search of information, what I found was a large group of people willing to share more than just information, they were willing to share part of their lives with me. That is a difficult thing to do at best, and impossible at worst. Yourself or any other professional cannot replace experience with information, no matter how good your intentions are, or how much effort you put forth.
>
> Don't lose that here. I may be being entirely over dramatic, no one may decide to leave, but why risk that? Maybe try validating their trust and sense of belonging by giving their opinion a bit more weight than it appears you have. I say appears, because only you know how much consideration you have given the wishes of your community.
>
> One last thing... Just because you can see every post here, does not mean you can see every discussion. Many people, such as myself, would not speak about certain personal things in front of 20 members, or 100. The number doesn't matter. The trust matters. I have been privileged enough to speak to many by email, to trade experiences, and offer as much support as I could. Because I didn’t do it on the open boards does not invalidate what I did. I used the boards to meet people, all of the people, and on ocassion, I spoke via email to many one on one, because I felt like the subject was too personal to share in front of any number of people, again 20 or 120, the number didn't matter.
>
> I certainly wish you well, and hope to see the community continue to thrive and grow.
>
> Thank you Dinah, Alexandra, Rain, and Fallen for the emails, and to the entire writing board for your tolerance for my writing, and for the pleasure I got from reading yours.
>
> Take it easy
>
> Chris
Posted by rainbowbrite on February 2, 2005, at 20:19:33
In reply to My last post - Dr Bob and all, posted by broken on February 2, 2005, at 15:41:41
wow, Broken that was VERY powerful! As Fallen said, I won't miss u either LOL
catch ya later!! ;-)
Posted by jujube on February 3, 2005, at 0:23:37
In reply to My last post - Dr Bob and all, posted by broken on February 2, 2005, at 15:41:41
I'm sorry to see you go :-( Your presence and contributions will be missed. Best wishes, and be really good to you.
Take care,
Tamara
Posted by alexandra_k on February 3, 2005, at 15:50:12
In reply to My last post - Dr Bob and all, posted by broken on February 2, 2005, at 15:41:41
I will miss you Chris. I feel very privaledged that you shared part of yourself and your struggle with me. You helped me see that there is hope.
Thank you so much.
You can always Babblemail me.
Babble will miss you.
Posted by Dinah on February 3, 2005, at 20:09:16
In reply to My last post - Dr Bob and all, posted by broken on February 2, 2005, at 15:41:41
I certainly wish you well.
You know, many people at Babble find the Admin sqabbles too disturbing for their liking and stick to some or all of the other boards.
If you ever change your mind and wish to return, please don't feel shy about it. There is a very long Babble tradition of leaving and coming back.
I've done it a dozen times or so.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on February 4, 2005, at 0:30:33
In reply to Re: My last post - Dr Bob and all » broken, posted by alexandra_k on February 3, 2005, at 15:50:12
What kind of week is this? ...hahah just kidding I am glad you didnt really PBC yourself and are maybe at PC right now...anyhow bye and watch those ZONES :)
> I will miss you Chris. I feel very privaledged that you shared part of yourself and your struggle with me. You helped me see that there is hope.
>
> Thank you so much.
>
> You can always Babblemail me.
>
> Babble will miss you.
>
>
Posted by alexandra_k on February 4, 2005, at 2:45:58
In reply to Re: My last post - Dr Bob and all » alexandra_k, posted by Fallen4MyT on February 4, 2005, at 0:30:33
> What kind of week is this? ...hahah just kidding
hmm.
Of course it is Friday night over here already..
I'll miss ya fallen.
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 4, 2005, at 8:32:52
In reply to My last post - Dr Bob and all, posted by broken on February 2, 2005, at 15:41:41
> I simply wanted to state before I left, my opinion on the decision (or perhaps idea) of segregating the Babble community.
Thanks for your feedback. But how would it be segregation?
> Maybe try validating their trust and sense of belonging by giving their opinion a bit more weight than it appears you have. I say appears, because only you know how much consideration you have given the wishes of your community.
I'm sorry if I've made people feel their opinions don't matter. I do think it's possible to care about someone's opinion but disagree with it...
Also, the opinions that have been voiced are of course those of people who feel comfortable enough to jump in. Their opinions do matter, but I'm also trying to think about those who don't feel as comfortable.
> Just because you can see every post here, does not mean you can see every discussion. Many people, such as myself, would not speak about certain personal things in front of 20 members, or 100. The number doesn't matter. The trust matters.
I know that lots goes on behind the scenes. The more ways to connect, the better. This would be another way. Also, for some people, for some subjects, the number may influence the degree of trust.
Bob
Posted by Broken on February 4, 2005, at 8:58:33
In reply to Re: the wishes of the community, posted by Dr. Bob on February 4, 2005, at 8:32:52
Just made a liar out of myself by posting didn't I? After being told that Dr. Bob replied, I couldn't NOT post, sue me.
Dr. Bob, If I could make another suggestion..
Just to quote you here..."I'm sorry if I've made people feel their opinions don't matter. I do think it's possible to care about someone's opinion but disagree with it...
Also, the opinions that have been voiced are of course those of people who feel comfortable enough to jump in. Their opinions do matter, but I'm also trying to think about those who don't feel as comfortable."That's reasonable... I just think communication is the key in any relationship, even the one between you and the rest of the Babble community.
If you make the decision to go forward, perhaps making an announcement across each of the boards saying just what you said to me. Just let them know that they have been heard, but felt that it was in the best interest of the PB community to go with your idea. Again, I'm not saying that you didn't take the vocal portion of the community into consideration, but unless you communicate that fact in the form of a post or announcement, how are they to know? Lord knows alot of posters avoid the admin forums like the plague.
I feel that alot of the strife generated could have been avoided just by letting the posters on this subject know that you heard them, and would definitely take their concerns into consideration. As you have made clear in your desire to make this change, people want and need to feel included, and I don't think they did, or do now. Just communicate that to them, please.
Take care,
Chris
Posted by Broken on February 4, 2005, at 9:16:36
In reply to Re: the wishes of the community » Dr. Bob, posted by Broken on February 4, 2005, at 8:58:33
Since I already broke my word, I may as well take advantage of the opportunity.
If what I said above seems weird to you, allow me to remind you that I came here because my mental health is not what it should be. In other words, you are dealing with at least one psychotic person, that being myself.
I am, among other things, borderline paranoid about people's motives. So maybe I should not speak for the community, and more for myself.
Check for my last post in the Writing forum for further explanation. I didn't make that up out of thin air, although I wish I had, unfortunately that is my actual state of mind. So yes, even though I am new here, I still wanted my opinion to mean something.
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 4, 2005, at 23:36:39
In reply to /chuckle May as well throw this in too, posted by Broken on February 4, 2005, at 9:16:36
> I just think communication is the key in any relationship, even the one between you and the rest of the Babble community.
>
> If you make the decision to go forward, perhaps making an announcement across each of the boards saying just what you said to me.I agree about communication, and I'm sure I could do better. Thanks for the reminder and the suggestion.
> even though I am new here, I still wanted my opinion to mean something.
New people can offer a fresh perspective, thanks for doing so yourself.
Bob
This is the end of the thread.
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