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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 10 to 34 of 65. Go back in thread:
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 14, 2004, at 0:55:31
In reply to Is this community making you mentally healthier?, posted by Phil on February 12, 2004, at 23:46:21
> I have to disagree and find it hard to believe a psychiatrist would ever advise swallowing your anger when you are hurt for the sake of getting along or not getting blocked. The goal here is to "learn" how to get along.
Well, sometimes people get along better if they keep some things to themselves.
> These discussions don't have to be hostile but mental health = not denying your feelings. If someone gets hurt on this board ... are you recommending they swallow their anger?
It can be therapeutic to express yourself, but this isn't necessarily the place:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
> many people here need to know what they are feeling is valid and express, in a non-accusatorial way, that,i.e. 'Phil, what you said hurt my feelings.'
I agree, but it tends to be more civil to talk about how you feel than what someone else did, for example, to use an I-statement like "Phil, I feel hurt by what you said":
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
> If the board operates as one big dysfunctional family with no guidance, just longer vacations, we are being taught that anger is bad
Vacations are one form of guidance. It's incivility, not anger, that's the problem.
> What I hope could happen is that people learn healthy ways to communicate...
Racer recently had what I thought was a good idea:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20040112/msgs/305106.html
So I revised the standard PBC language to include "alternative ways to express yourself". Now we're just waiting for thirsty horses...
Bob
Posted by gabbix2 on February 14, 2004, at 1:18:53
In reply to Re: please rephrase that » gabbix2, posted by Dr. Bob on February 14, 2004, at 0:51:49
> > There is a whole thread going right now people are calling Effexor evil and nothing is being said..
>
> Post a URL, and I'll take a look...You've already seen it, you p.b.c'd someone on the thread for being unsupportive but not for labelling the drug.
>
> > Was I trying to start trouble..NO! I was trying to vouch for someone who was claiming to have recieved similar emails and who was being called a liar.
>
> Two wrongs don't make a right.It was not about "getting back" at the person
sending the e-mails. It was about defending the person being called a liar, because I knew that they were not lying.
In doing so I unknowingly tripped over one of your rules by making a judgement about the content of the e-mail.
The crucial difference is my intention was not to hurt anyone. You'll say that's impossible to decipher, however you've seen the evidence. Nine weeks is an awfully long time if there is any doubt at all Dr. Bob. My blocks were automatically tripled from the first time I got one, I guess I'm special.
>
> > I got blocked for 9 weeks calling an email from someone here abusive and threatening..
>
> Keeping in mind that the idea here is not to post anything that could lead others to feel accused, could you please rephrase that?I didn't mention any names.
Am I not allowed to say I recieved an abusive e-mail.. ever? I'm not being confrontational I'm asking a question.
Posted by fayeroe on February 14, 2004, at 7:29:06
In reply to Re: Is this community making you mentally healthie » Sooshi, posted by Phil on February 14, 2004, at 0:26:57
> Sooshi that's sweet but I'm trying monthly to have enough money to eat. Maybe we could start a blog...hmmmm. All we have to do is go to Goggle and do it.
> Maybe fallsfall and Zen could get us set up professionally. In Austin and everywhere else there's a therapist behind every bush, I'm sure I could do recruiting and have some take turns moderating. We could ride herd some too.
> I know some therapists here that are incredibly good. We could ask them to write articles once a month. Marital therapists one week. Social worker the next. Psychologists, addiction specialists.
> Who knows, maybe you're on to something. Work it more like a commune than a city. Grow our own pills. Let's see if anyone is interested. I'd love to have Cam involved and a ton of others who have split. We could be a cooperative of sorts.
> Lets talk some more but I would want to be part of the crew. mairs' one smart cookie. Who knows?
> SOOSHILAND.Phil, I'm in........I will help. Aside~~~can anyone name one change that has come about here and was instigated by a majority of suggestions from the posters that "helped our mental health"?
Just curious.......
>
>
Posted by Sooshi on February 14, 2004, at 11:56:45
In reply to Re: Is this community making you mentally healthie » Sooshi, posted by Phil on February 14, 2004, at 0:26:57
I just KNEW we were like minded..."commune...grow our own pills...therapist behind every bush...cooperative" - sounds like Austin to me because I LIVE HERE TOO! How cool is that?
Posted by Phil on February 14, 2004, at 13:00:45
In reply to Re: Is this community making you mentally healthie » Phil, posted by Sooshi on February 14, 2004, at 11:56:45
Way cool. Many here are from Austin...hmmm. Makes you wonder don't it?
When Texas took Lithium out of the water supply, it's been all down/up/down hill.
When I saw 'Sooshi', I had a feeling. 8^)
Posted by mair on February 14, 2004, at 13:50:55
In reply to Is this community making you mentally healthier?, posted by Phil on February 12, 2004, at 23:46:21
...only in inverse proportion to the amount of time I spend on the Admin Board. (-:
Posted by fayeroe on February 14, 2004, at 15:25:44
In reply to Re: Is this community making you mentally healthier? » Phil, posted by mair on February 14, 2004, at 13:50:55
I knew something was in the water.......I'm moving to Austin, as well as the rest of my family, in 2005!!!!
Posted by henrietta on February 14, 2004, at 18:48:38
In reply to Is this community making you mentally healthier?, posted by Phil on February 12, 2004, at 23:46:21
do you know do you know do you know do you know do you care do you care do you care do you care do you think do you think do you think do you think mommy did it daddy did it mommy did it daddy did it mommy mommy who's dead did it down melt melt down down melt scary melt downs woke up 36 hours later pretending none of it ever happend
nobody resigned nobody died on the hill we're all deputies again who cares as long as mommy and daddy are ok who cares how many anonymous lurkers are injured by mommy and daddys meltdowns in public on a big old board for mental health
yeah this place has improved my mental health
think before you bleed all over everybody else
do it privately ok it's all my fault it's all my fault it's all my fault block me forever please this place is sick-making sick-making sick-making
sick-making
Posted by Dinah on February 14, 2004, at 19:15:47
In reply to Re: Is this community making you mentally healthier?, posted by henrietta on February 14, 2004, at 18:48:38
But I'm not anyone's Mommy except my son's. And if I were a completely well person, I wouldn't be posting here.
And it wasn't all that pleasant for me either, you know.
Posted by gabbix2 on February 14, 2004, at 19:35:52
In reply to Re: Is this community making you mentally healthier?, posted by henrietta on February 14, 2004, at 18:48:38
*
Posted by shar on February 14, 2004, at 23:13:58
In reply to Henrietta, posted by gabbix2 on February 14, 2004, at 19:35:52
Yikes.
That really took me about 30 years into my own past. All the pain. Mommy. Daddy. I wonder if it would have been better to have PB then? Maybe I could have talked about it.
Who knows?
Shar
Posted by henrietta on February 14, 2004, at 23:59:51
In reply to Re: Henrietta, posted by shar on February 14, 2004, at 23:13:58
Posted by All Done on February 15, 2004, at 1:42:29
In reply to Re: Sorry to have upset you » henrietta, posted by Dinah on February 14, 2004, at 19:15:47
Posted by Phil on February 15, 2004, at 2:10:21
In reply to Re: Henrietta, posted by shar on February 14, 2004, at 23:13:58
Posted by Phil on February 15, 2004, at 2:20:29
In reply to Re: Is this community making you mentally healthier?, posted by fayeroe on February 14, 2004, at 15:25:44
Please, let them build some roads first!
That's great! We'll start Psycho-Babble SXSW.
I don't look anything like I type.
That's a great idea, bringing your family.
Jeez, I'm randon...it's nap time.
Posted by Dinah on February 15, 2004, at 2:21:07
In reply to Re: Henrietta, posted by shar on February 14, 2004, at 23:13:58
Posted by Dinah on February 15, 2004, at 2:50:44
In reply to (((Dinah))) (nm) » Dinah, posted by All Done on February 15, 2004, at 1:42:29
That hug made a big difference.
Posted by fayeroe on February 15, 2004, at 7:17:31
In reply to Re: Is this community making you mentally healthie » fayeroe, posted by Phil on February 15, 2004, at 2:20:29
> Please, let them build some roads first!
>
> That's great! We'll start Psycho-Babble SXSW.
>
> I don't look anything like I type.
>
> That's a great idea, bringing your family.
>
> Jeez, I'm randon...it's nap time.PHIL~~~~~~~~~YOU KNOW WHO THE MAIN SPEAKER AT SWSW IS THIS YEAR, DON'T YOU?????? LITTLE RICHARD! MY OLDEST DAUGHTER IS ONE OF THEIR PHOTOGRAPHERS....BUT THIS YEAR SHE HAS A NEW BABY AND WON'T BE THERE.(I WORKED FOR WILLIE FOR FOUR YEARS...SO IT WILL JUST BE OLD HOME WEEK OR YEARS FOR ME!) WATCH FOR A RE-DIRECT ON OUR THREAD........
Posted by gabbix2 on February 15, 2004, at 10:43:19
In reply to Re: Thanks, you sweetie. » All Done, posted by Dinah on February 15, 2004, at 2:50:44
I should have done this last night
I was sort of in shock.I hope it's not too late to do some good.
(((Dinah)))
Posted by Dinah on February 15, 2004, at 11:31:19
In reply to Dinah, posted by gabbix2 on February 15, 2004, at 10:43:19
Posted by Dinah on February 15, 2004, at 11:59:13
In reply to i am truly sorry (nm), posted by henrietta on February 14, 2004, at 23:59:51
I love it when life teaches me a lesson in hubris. :)
I almost responded to this, before I saw it was in response to Shar's post, offering empathy to her for her pain in childhood.
Shar, I too am sorry. And extra sorry if my actions reminded you of that pain.
Posted by shar on February 15, 2004, at 14:37:27
In reply to Re: i am truly sorry - Shar and » henrietta, posted by Dinah on February 15, 2004, at 11:59:13
I can't think of a thing you've done that reminded me of my childhood pain. Certainly nothing to apologize for.
((Dinah)) take it as easy as possible!
Shar
Posted by Dinah on February 15, 2004, at 15:16:10
In reply to Dinah?, posted by shar on February 15, 2004, at 14:37:27
Sorry, Shar. I had wondered if your response to Henrietta's post meant that you agreed with her.
And if so, I just wanted to apologize.
Posted by Karen_kay on February 15, 2004, at 16:05:21
In reply to Re: Sorry to have upset you » henrietta, posted by Dinah on February 14, 2004, at 19:15:47
(((Dinah)))
Once again your grace shines through. Have I told you lately how much I admire you? I really do, you know... It's a pleasure to know you. Pardon me for being a bit emotional, I'm having a moment....
Posted by Dinah on February 15, 2004, at 16:11:01
In reply to Psst... Dinah, posted by Karen_kay on February 15, 2004, at 16:05:21
(Thank you. May I admit, however, that your post comes at an absolutely fortuitous moment?)
Thanks for being you.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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