Shown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on February 7, 2004, at 15:29:18
I've missed you.
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 8, 2004, at 1:04:47
In reply to Dr. Bob. Nice to see you on board again. :), posted by Dinah on February 7, 2004, at 15:29:18
Posted by fallsfall on February 8, 2004, at 9:11:16
In reply to Re: thanks, any problems? (nm) » Dinah, posted by Dr. Bob on February 8, 2004, at 1:04:47
I think that it is obvious that Dinah does have a problem right now. This response made me feel awful - like she was being completely invalidated, like you are unaware of who she is, and what matters to her. I can't believe that this is your intention. Perhaps I am reading sarcasm or callousness in where none was intended - in that case I would respectfully ask you to rephrase your post.
If this my post is uncivil, so be it.
Posted by noa on February 8, 2004, at 9:59:58
In reply to Re: thanks, any problems? » Dr. Bob, posted by fallsfall on February 8, 2004, at 9:11:16
Fallsfall, fwiw, I'd like to provide a different, albeit perhaps less informed (about what may have been going on on the other boards or in other threads), perspective----In reading this thread, I didn't see anything in Dinah's post indicating a problem. Her post reads to me like a greeting, a welcome back, a statement of feeling about having missed him. Then, when I read Dr. Bob's subject line, I didn't read any sarcasm. It seemed to me just to be 1)an acknowledgement of her greeting, and 2)a question asking if there are any problems she wants him to know about. I can understand his asking this because her post was referring to his having been off the boards for whatever period of time.
Dr. Bob's response is in line with his often minimalist style, which can sometimes make his posts seem cryptic or unsatisfying to posters. But it didn't strike me as meaning anything more than what it says at face value.
I don't know if my reading of this is correct or not, but I thought I'd offer my perspective, fwiw.
Posted by noa on February 8, 2004, at 10:08:38
In reply to Re: thanks, any problems? » Dr. Bob, posted by fallsfall on February 8, 2004, at 9:11:16
PS--
If the problem you are referring to is the poster initiated boards--the most recent exchange about this, in which Dinah does seem quite upset, happened *after* her greeting to Dr. Bob in this thread.
Posted by fallsfall on February 8, 2004, at 10:10:17
In reply to Re: thanks, any problems?, posted by noa on February 8, 2004, at 9:59:58
Thank you for your perspective, noa.
I sincerely hope that your interpretation is correct. And I certainly have been known to read things in when they are not intended by the speaker (see my posts about my transference of thinking that my therapist is mad at me when he isn't).
But isn't something considered uncivil if someone COULD feel put down by it - even if that was not the poster's intention? I try to stay out of "uncivil debates" because, for some reason, I truly don't understand it. I guess I just needed to go on record here to say that *I* felt vicariously invalidated.
Posted by fallsfall on February 8, 2004, at 10:18:56
In reply to Re: thanks, any problems? » fallsfall, posted by noa on February 8, 2004, at 10:08:38
Yes. That is what I am referring to. I would be surprised, though, if Dr. Bob did not know at 1AM that 6 hours later he would be making a post that would be distressing to her.
I stand by *MY* feeling of invalidation, but do understand that it is possible that Dr. Bob did not intend to be invalidating.
Posted by Slinky on February 8, 2004, at 12:17:43
In reply to Re: thanks, any problems? (nm) » Dinah, posted by Dr. Bob on February 8, 2004, at 1:04:47
I've got a few Mr.H
Posted by noa on February 8, 2004, at 19:17:25
In reply to Re: thanks, any problems? » noa, posted by fallsfall on February 8, 2004, at 10:18:56
Fallsfall, I don't think I'd draw the same conclusion, but I don't want to get into the position of defending Dr. Bob. I know he can do that for himself.
I'm sorry Dinah is so upset (you, too). I have not been following the discussion of the new kind of boards--I didn't really look at that thread until after I read this one.
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 9, 2004, at 5:22:02
In reply to Re: thanks, any problems? » fallsfall, posted by noa on February 8, 2004, at 19:17:25
> Fallsfall, I don't think I'd draw the same conclusion, but I don't want to get into the position of defending Dr. Bob. I know he can do that for himself.
Dinah, I'm sorry if that came across as invalidating, as Noa intuited, I just meant to ask how the boards were doing. Since I wasn't around and you're a deputy... I do understand you think small town boards would be a problem.
Bob
Posted by Dinah on February 9, 2004, at 9:32:25
In reply to Re: sorry » Dinah, posted by Dr. Bob on February 9, 2004, at 5:22:02
That's how I would have interpreted it.
This is the end of the thread.
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