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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by fachad on July 11, 2002, at 11:29:59
How about creating a Psycho-Babble Blocked Board? All the posts that have ever resulted in being blocked could be archived there.
Sometimes I find out that someone whose posts I really enjoyed and benefited from is blocked, and I have no idea why they were blocked.
And here's my observation on the inherent difficulty in the whole blocking issue.
I understand the need to moderate the boards, to keep the tone supportive, and to keep a few disruptive types from destroying the boards, but...
Asking the people who participate in these boards to always behave rationally and always project a positive supportive tone in their posts is somewhat unrealistic.
The reason we are here in the first place, after all, is because of the presence of some sort of psychiatric disorders, behavioral problems, or reduced functionality.
So I guess I am asking for two things.
First, a place to see the offending posts, so all of us can see concrete examples of what is considered a "blocking offence". We could then easily find out exactly why someone was blocked.
Second, a little more tolerance of outbursts of negative emotions from people who, by definition, are struggling in the grip of negative emotions.
Posted by oracle on July 11, 2002, at 12:11:16
In reply to Dr. Bob: How About a Psycho-Babble Blocked, posted by fachad on July 11, 2002, at 11:29:59
> Asking the people who participate in these boards to always behave rationally and always project a positive supportive tone in their posts is somewhat unrealistic.
So you are saying adults do not have to act like adults ?
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 11, 2002, at 13:03:37
In reply to Dr. Bob: How About a Psycho-Babble Blocked, posted by fachad on July 11, 2002, at 11:29:59
> How about creating a Psycho-Babble Blocked Board? All the posts that have ever resulted in being blocked could be archived there.
Why not just use the search function? :-)
> Asking the people who participate in these boards to always behave rationally and always project a positive supportive tone in their posts is somewhat unrealistic.
I ask that they always do, but I don't expect that they always will. That's why there's the alphabet soup...
> a little more tolerance of outbursts of negative emotions from people who, by definition, are struggling in the grip of negative emotions.
I try to be tolerant, but remember that, with qualifications, more negative emotions means more people affected negatively.
Bob
Posted by Lini on July 11, 2002, at 13:14:49
In reply to Re: Psycho-Babble Blocked, posted by Dr. Bob on July 11, 2002, at 13:03:37
I try to be tolerant, but remember that, with qualifications, more negative emotions means more people affected negatively.
Bob
In regard to those qualifications . . . there seems to be alot of people here affected negatively on the board as of late. While I don't necessarily agree with the stance everyone has who has decided to leave has taken, it does seem to be perceived that you have contributed to some of the negativity. Would you mind "rephrasing" the issue from your point of view, in a post of your own (not in response to someone elses)? I think that your intentions are probably good, and I feel like that is getting lost in all this. So, if you could please rephrase where you're at in regard to people leaving/blocking etc, I think it might go along way toward helping people. . .i think it is probably really good for some people to take breaks from the board, but as much as we lose out by their absence, they lose out on getting to know some really great people too. I know that I would be really sad if I left permanently and in such a negative way and had never had the chance to go through some of the things that we all have been through together - I guess I am just thinking about Sar . . . and what she'd say about all this . . .
-L
Posted by krazy kat on July 11, 2002, at 14:27:41
In reply to Re: Psycho-Babble Blocked, posted by Lini on July 11, 2002, at 13:14:49
but I do wish she could be left out of it.
Posted by fachad on July 11, 2002, at 21:18:09
In reply to Re: Psycho-Babble Blocked, posted by Dr. Bob on July 11, 2002, at 13:03:37
> Why not just use the search function? :-)
How would I search for "the post that got UserX blocked last tuesday"?
> I try to be tolerant, but remember that, with qualifications, more negative emotions means more people affected negatively.
Point taken. You are actually doing a service to the board by providing "containment" of negativity. And I mean that in all seriousness - I honestly had not considered that angle.
It's unfortunate that there has been so much negativity recently.
Posted by Mark H. on July 12, 2002, at 2:08:02
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob: How About a Psycho-Babble Blocked, posted by oracle on July 11, 2002, at 12:11:16
Oracle,
I regret several of my early posts on these boards, when I thought I knew better than anyone else what was going on and felt free to make snide and off-handed one-liners about what others had posted. Over time I learned not to inject myself into threads unless I had something positive and substantive to contribute. If I had exercised a little more self-control and had been a bit less arrogant and presumptuous, I probably would have learned sooner how to be a better member of this community. As it is, I have the patience and good will of others to thank for my being welcome here at all.
In my experience of him over time, I have found Fachad to be one of the most well-informed, intelligent and articulate contributors to these boards, and I read his posts with great interest and appreciation for his balanced and thoughtful insights. Also, I have never known Fachad to be flippant, so if I don't understand what he wrote or believe I might disagree with it, I find it is better usually if I give him the benefit of the doubt instead of assuming I know what his motives are or what he intended by a comment. The benefit for me is that I'm less likely to look like a fool if my understanding of the comment or situation turns out to have been less than perfectly informed.
Mark H.
Posted by beardedlady on July 12, 2002, at 5:31:58
In reply to Re: Adults Do Not Have to Act Like Adults? » oracle, posted by Mark H. on July 12, 2002, at 2:08:02
> ....I have never known Fachad to be flippant, so if I don't understand what he wrote or believe I might disagree with it, I find it is better usually if I give him the benefit of the doubt instead of assuming I know what his motives are or what he intended by a comment. The benefit for me is that I'm less likely to look like a fool if my understanding of the comment or situation turns out to have been less than perfectly informed.
Mark:You mean you act like DR. BOB SHOULD? Hmmm. Sounds like there's a lesson in that paragraph. Hint, hint.
Beardy
Posted by Kar on July 12, 2002, at 8:57:28
In reply to Right on the Mark » Mark H., posted by beardedlady on July 12, 2002, at 5:31:58
Could we just cut out all the sarcasm here? You're unhappy with Dr. Bob and we know it.
Posted by beardedlady on July 12, 2002, at 9:09:31
In reply to Re: Right on the Mark » beardedlady, posted by Kar on July 12, 2002, at 8:57:28
Did you think I was keeping it a secret that I was "not happy with Dr. Bob"? Did you think my messages were cryptic? Did I not come right out and say it several times?
No sarcasm here. This is pure, unabashed, unashamed disappointment.
beardy
Posted by Ron Hill on July 12, 2002, at 10:25:24
In reply to Re: Adults Do Not Have to Act Like Adults? » oracle, posted by Mark H. on July 12, 2002, at 2:08:02
Hi Mark,
IMHO and with all due respect, I think you missed the mark in your response to Oracle. Fachad made some valid points, but Oracle merely called into question the concept that we posters should be excused from socially appropriate behavior simply because of our individual disorders. I side with Oracle on this one. Yes it is more difficult for those of us with mental disorders to control our anger and remain civil, but none-the-less, we should not expect our disorders to provide license for socially inappropriate behavior. Just my 2 sense, for what it's worth.
Hey by the way, Mark, you are an excellent writer. We have many good writers posting to these boards and if we held a writers contest I think I would vote for you, Beardy, and IsoM to be near the top in my picks. I hope the later two come back after a little time away.
-- Thanks, Ron
--------> Oracle,
>
> I regret several of my early posts on these boards, when I thought I knew better than anyone else what was going on and felt free to make snide and off-handed one-liners about what others had posted. Over time I learned not to inject myself into threads unless I had something positive and substantive to contribute. If I had exercised a little more self-control and had been a bit less arrogant and presumptuous, I probably would have learned sooner how to be a better member of this community. As it is, I have the patience and good will of others to thank for my being welcome here at all.
>
> In my experience of him over time, I have found Fachad to be one of the most well-informed, intelligent and articulate contributors to these boards, and I read his posts with great interest and appreciation for his balanced and thoughtful insights. Also, I have never known Fachad to be flippant, so if I don't understand what he wrote or believe I might disagree with it, I find it is better usually if I give him the benefit of the doubt instead of assuming I know what his motives are or what he intended by a comment. The benefit for me is that I'm less likely to look like a fool if my understanding of the comment or situation turns out to have been less than perfectly informed.
>
> Mark H.
Posted by Kar on July 12, 2002, at 10:34:27
In reply to That wasn't sarcasm! » Kar, posted by beardedlady on July 12, 2002, at 9:09:31
I meant merely that we know how you feel about Dr. Bob and the entire situation. I really don't want to debate grammar here. No, I didn't think you were being cryptic. Yes, you've said it "several times". That was my point. I've always enjoyed reading your posts. Sorry to hear you're heading out...
Posted by Lini on July 12, 2002, at 10:37:59
In reply to Re: Adults Do Not Have to Act Like Adults? » Mark H., posted by Ron Hill on July 12, 2002, at 10:25:24
I think Mark was speaking to the way in which Oracle expressed his belief (which is a belief I happen to agree with). IMO, while acting like an adult means taking responsibility for your behavior, it should also include taking into account the context of a situation (namely, the reasons people come to these boards in the first place).-L
Posted by oracle on July 12, 2002, at 10:47:16
In reply to Re: Adults Do Not Have to Act Like Adults? » oracle, posted by Mark H. on July 12, 2002, at 2:08:02
Mark,
I to enjoy fachad. I do disagree about the behaviors that adults should be held too.
I think you read too much into my post.
Posted by beardedlady on July 12, 2002, at 15:06:34
In reply to Re: Adults Do Not Have to Act Like Adults? » Mark H., posted by Ron Hill on July 12, 2002, at 10:25:24
>Oracle merely called into question the concept that we posters should be excused from socially appropriate behavior simply because of our individual disorders. I side with Oracle on this one. Yes it is more difficult for those of us with mental disorders to control our anger and remain civil, but none-the-less, we should not expect our disorders to provide license for socially inappropriate behavior.
In my circle of friends, cussing is socially appropriate. Those who choose to do it aren't any less adult than anyone else. That something doesn't fall into the psychobabble rules of civility doesn't make it socially inappropriate. And no one was suggesting mental disorders were an excuse for anger and incivility.
Posted by oracle on July 12, 2002, at 21:42:12
In reply to socially appropriate behavior » Ron Hill, posted by beardedlady on July 12, 2002, at 15:06:34
> In my circle of friends, cussing is socially appropriate. Those who choose to do it aren't any less adult than anyone else. That something doesn't fall into the psychobabble rules of civility doesn't make it socially inappropriate. And no one was suggesting mental disorders were an excuse for anger and incivility.
Same here, cussing is great stress release ! %^$$T% *(&&% *&^%&^& (oracle laffs)
"socially appropriate" is not what I have in mind.
Not adult to me ment to more overt posts/persons.
Really rude or nasty.Everyone who responded to my post is someone who I respect
very much. I enjoy all of your posts. I was taken
a back (not in a bad way) by beardedlady's post,
she is someone I really respect. I think pehaps some
had a different idea of the behaviors I ment.
This is a flaw of this medium, it is so easy
to interprate this in different ways.It sure does not help that I am often very blunt.
We are all lucky this is not 1990, and I am posting !
It has gotten better. The problem with short and blunt
is it is hard to really know exactualy what I ment.
Posted by Lini on July 13, 2002, at 10:02:46
In reply to Re: Psycho-Babble Blocked » Dr. Bob, posted by fachad on July 11, 2002, at 21:18:09
Maybe you could try searching "please be civil" "blocked" "week" and "Bob"
That would probably bring up all the blocked posts and a few "discussions" around blocked posts!
-L
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 13, 2002, at 12:23:29
In reply to socially appropriate behavior » Ron Hill, posted by beardedlady on July 12, 2002, at 15:06:34
> In my circle of friends, cussing is socially appropriate. Those who choose to do it aren't any less adult than anyone else. That something doesn't fall into the psychobabble rules of civility doesn't make it socially inappropriate.
I completely agree. "Socially inappropriate" depends on the context.
Bob
This is the end of the thread.
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