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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by shelliR on April 9, 2002, at 18:25:59
I don't totally get it, but I sort of scanned a thread above talking about using four letter words.
As Shar says, many of us use ***s, and trouble didn't assault anyone, so I'm very sad (*piled* on top of sad).
I do think this is a time for warnings about such things; to exile someone from the board right now feels a much worse action of incivility to me.
Shelli
Posted by beardedlady on April 9, 2002, at 19:28:51
In reply to What a Sad time to Block Trouble., posted by shelliR on April 9, 2002, at 18:25:59
Posted by Dr. Bob on April 9, 2002, at 19:49:45
In reply to What a Sad time to Block Trouble., posted by shelliR on April 9, 2002, at 18:25:59
> I'm very sad (*piled* on top of sad).
>
> I do think this is a time for warnings about such things; to exile someone from the board right now feels a much worse action of incivility to me.I feel bad about it, too, and about blocking Zo, but I want this to be a safe place, and making exceptions can be a can of worms. At least they're both in email contact with other posters...
Bob
Posted by shelliR on April 9, 2002, at 23:04:06
In reply to Re: What a Sad time to Block, posted by Dr. Bob on April 9, 2002, at 19:49:45
Posted by Jonathan on April 9, 2002, at 23:49:51
In reply to Re: What a Sad time to Block, posted by Dr. Bob on April 9, 2002, at 19:49:45
"Growth is an ongoing process"
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020308/msgs/3955.html
This is how you justified exceptionally not blocking Sal when you deleted his post "Where to find medications WITHOUT a prescription" Posted by `Rocks Cry Out' on April 6, 2002, at 16:42:58 -
In your own words - http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020308/msgs/4046.html -
> making exceptions can be a can of worms. At least they're [Zo and Trouble] both in email contact with other posters...
Are you encouraging others to post on behalf of Trouble and Zo while they're blocked, yet warning Sal (the lucky, repeated beneficiary of an exception to your normal blocking policy) against doing precisely the same?
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020408/msgs/102555.html
You're the boss, of course, Dr. Bob; no-one envies the tough judgments which you have to make quickly in order to prevent breaches of the rules from escalating, yet avoid stifling the "possibility for growth" you see in contributers like Sal.
On this occasion, however, I agree with Shelli: I think the present sad circumstances justify a highly exceptional reprieve for Trouble and Zo - a possibility for growth through continuing to participate in the present, emotionally sensitive, situation; and Zo would never have given you cause to block her if you had earlier made a similar exception for LiLi.
Merely hinting that you may turn an exceptional blind eye to anyone who posts for those who are blocked is not enough, IMHO.
Respectfully,
Jonathan.
Posted by Dr. Bob on April 10, 2002, at 0:37:07
In reply to Exceptions: In defence of Trouble, Zo and LiLi » Dr. Bob, posted by Jonathan on April 9, 2002, at 23:49:51
> "Growth is an ongoing process"
>
> This is how you justified exceptionally not blocking Sal when you deleted his post "Where to find medications WITHOUT a prescription" Posted by `Rocks Cry Out'I did block Rocks.
> > making exceptions can be a can of worms. At least they're [Zo and Trouble] both in email contact with other posters...
>
> Are you encouraging others to post on behalf of Trouble and Zo while they're blockedNo, I was trying to reassure Shelli that they weren't completely cut off from this community.
> Sal (the lucky, repeated beneficiary of an exception to your normal blocking policy)
See what I mean about a can of worms?
> On this occasion, however, I agree with Shelli: I think the present sad circumstances justify a highly exceptional reprieve for Trouble and Zo - a possibility for growth through continuing to participate in the present, emotionally sensitive, situation
And the present sad circumstances also justify a less civil atmosphere for everyone else?
> Zo would never have given you cause to block her if you had earlier made a similar exception for LiLi.
What exception did I not make for Lili? (See what I mean about a can of worms?)
> Merely hinting that you may turn an exceptional blind eye to anyone who posts for those who are blocked is not enough, IMHO.
Sorry, what are you proposing that I do instead?
Bob
Posted by tinaboo on April 10, 2002, at 8:10:38
In reply to What a Sad time to Block Trouble., posted by shelliR on April 9, 2002, at 18:25:59
Dr. Bob. You know that people here have lost and are grieving. Grief causes all sorts of inappropriate behaviour but isn't it better to be able to discuss how you feel and let it out rather than be blocked when you need community the most?
I think allowing a little latitude may help in the grieving process.respectfully
tina
Posted by shelliR on April 10, 2002, at 8:32:34
In reply to She was blocked way before this happened. (nm) » shelliR, posted by beardedlady on April 9, 2002, at 19:28:51
Posted by beardedlady on April 10, 2002, at 8:51:11
In reply to I guess I wasn't in error:They WERE blocked after (nm) » beardedlady, posted by shelliR on April 10, 2002, at 8:32:34
Posted by mist on April 10, 2002, at 9:46:20
In reply to I guess I wasn't in error:They WERE blocked after (nm) » beardedlady, posted by shelliR on April 10, 2002, at 8:32:34
trouble was first blocked for a week, which ended around the time that the news about sar was posted.
trouble then posted for a couple of days but was blocked again for two weeks, for another post containing language that Dr. Bob finds objectionable.
Posted by beardedlady on April 10, 2002, at 10:56:26
In reply to Re: I guess I wasn't in error:They WERE blocked after » shelliR, posted by mist on April 10, 2002, at 9:46:20
Posted by wendy b. on April 10, 2002, at 12:51:18
In reply to A little latitude? Dr. Bob, posted by tinaboo on April 10, 2002, at 8:10:38
Dear Tina and others:
I have to agree with Dr Bob here, and respect your opinion while doing so. So please don't misunderstand me, ok?
The Board works on general rules sometimes derived from group-therapy models of fair-play and civility. In this case, we have to have a safe place in which - on which - to post messages. If I don't feel the environment is being kept safe for me, I won't post, because I'll be afraid that my vulnerabilities and shortcomings will be violated. That I'll get blasted, or worse, by someone else who doesn't follow the rules the way I'm trying to. If I follow the rules, and someone else doesn't, and it's allowed, that's not fair to me, right? These types of rules apply to playgrounds, classrooms, and communities everywhere.
** (An aside: The administrators of these communities get criticized, for just or unjust reasons, but they're still doing all the work! Sort of like being a janitor, or a housewife/husband. They're hanging out all day doing all the clean-up and dirty-work, and then get upbraided by the boss or spouse when he/she gets home:
"What have you been DOING all day??") *End of aside*Personally, I find in my own weekly group therapy, that when our group leader (therapist) defines boundaries, I appreciate it much more than if things are loose. In times of high levels of grief and hurt and loss, we have to be extra *careful*, not extra *lenient*. Otherwise, Bob would be abdicating his responsibility as the owner of the Board. Doctors and therapists have rules of ethics that they have pledged to uphold. I believe Dr Bob is maintaining those standards to the utmost of his ability. Like Mark H., I hope people will be sensitive to Bob's needs right now, too. Love is a two-way street, like the song says...
With utmost sincerity and respect for all the views expressed in this thread,
Wendy
> Dr. Bob. You know that people here have lost and are grieving. Grief causes all sorts of inappropriate behaviour but isn't it better to be able to discuss how you feel and let it out rather than be blocked when you need community the most?
> I think allowing a little latitude may help in the grieving process.
>
> respectfully
> tina
This is the end of the thread.
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