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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 19, 2002, at 18:48:08
[Posted by IsoM on February 19, 2002, at 12:26:49
In reply to http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020215/msgs/94618.html]
> I wasn't insulted by 3 Beer Effect's comment about "snobby a*sholes" - I knew he was just joking. Being a young guy, I know you joke a little cruder than I do, but still wasn't upset by it at all.
>
> It's so hard (as sid has mentioned in another thread) to gauge what frame of mind & what intentions a person has when they post a message. I'm not so thin-skinned that every comment sets me off. A very good friend who is Ukrainian loves nothing more than collecting Ukrainian jokes. She laughs harder at them than anyone else.
>
> I've often said that if I'm going to be offended by someone's comment, they really need to direct it just at me & make sure it's obviously insulting. And then if it really is insulting, I consider that person to be beneath my attention & simply refuse to be insulted by such a fool.
>
> So far, I've yet to be insulted here. Any such insulting posts, I just ignore & don't post an answer.
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 19, 2002, at 18:49:57
In reply to Re: For 3 Beer Effect and anyone else « IsoM, posted by Dr. Bob on February 19, 2002, at 18:48:08
[Posted by jay on February 19, 2002, at 18:16:50
In reply to http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020215/msgs/94590.html]
> That's what makes (some) of us different than the U.S. It is was also makes me feel pretty good being a Canadian.
>
> Jay
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 19, 2002, at 18:51:22
In reply to Re: Canadians care about poor, sick « jay, posted by Dr. Bob on February 19, 2002, at 18:49:57
[Posted by Dinah on February 19, 2002, at 18:29:22]
> > That's what makes (some) of us different than the U.S. It is was also makes me feel pretty good being a Canadian.
> >
> > Jay
>
> Ouch Jay,
> Another broad generalization. We Americans have a proud history of lending a hand where needed, just as you Canadians do.
> I'm glad you feel pretty good being a Canadian. I can certainly understand why. I feel pretty good about being an American. I hope you can understand why.
> But I still think that this is not a medication issue.
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 19, 2002, at 18:52:57
In reply to Re: For 3 Beer Effect and anyone else « IsoM, posted by Dr. Bob on February 19, 2002, at 18:48:08
[Posted by Dinah on February 19, 2002, at 18:38:25]
> I never for a moment thought you couldn't defend yourself if you felt it necessary IsoM. :) And I know that 3 Beer was kidding.
> Not to make yet another sweeping generalization, but I come from an area where it is not at all unusual to hear ethnic or other slurs that are not meant in a joking way at all, and it is sort of a knee jerk response for me to answer as I did.
> Actually when I can get away with it, my preferred response is a very cold "Well my husband and four children are (fill in the blank) and I have never found that to be true of them. Perhaps you would like to explain yourself further. Or I would be happy to introduce you to them so that you can ask them about it yourself."
> Unfortunately the opportunity to use that one is limited.
> Sorry if I overreacted.
Posted by IsoM on February 19, 2002, at 20:29:32
In reply to Re: For 3 Beer Effect and anyone else « Dinah, posted by Dr. Bob on February 19, 2002, at 18:52:57
Dinah, you don't over-react at all - really. We are all very different people from different backgrounds & it's only to be expected that each person would react somewhat differently. And you're right that all too often people mean comments as very cruel racial slurs.
I tend to overlook a lot of people's comments & try instead to gently educate them. If they're simply uninformed or 'going along with the crowd', a gentle reminder that many of us DO APPRECIATE a variety of cultures & races will often make them think twice before they spout such nonsense.
But if they really are entrenched bigots, nothing will get through to them & I consider them poor association & limit my contact with them while still maintaining courtesy towards them.
I think you're a wonderful person, Dinah, with a deep sense of rightness & concern for others. I wish there were many, many more like you. I'd much rather be around someone who's reserved but kind-hearted & thoughtful like you, than around someone exuberant & friendly but who's narrow-minded & hypocritical. The packaging doesn't always reveal the contents.
Posted by Dinah on February 19, 2002, at 21:05:11
In reply to Not Over-reacting « Dinah, posted by IsoM on February 19, 2002, at 20:29:32
I'm really not fishing for reassurance. :) Just covering any possibility of offending someone.
I'm sorry. (just kidding!!)
Posted by IsoM on February 19, 2002, at 22:28:02
In reply to Re: I need to try to stop apologizing don't I? » IsoM, posted by Dinah on February 19, 2002, at 21:05:11
That's actually part of your charm, Dinah. :-)
As long as you don't feel inadequate about apologising or feel that you MUST each time, I don't mind.Even I say "sorry" often at work. Fellow coworkers or customers tell me not to apologise so much or feel bad about it. But people tend to misunderstand a certain amount. When I say "sorry", I'm not blaming myself for something I didn't cause - I'm expressing my feelings of sympathy (sorriness) that they have to experience whatever it is, no matter who causes it. It's empathy for another who's affected by it.
This is the end of the thread.
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