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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rjlockhart37 on March 10, 2022, at 22:23:51
sleep deprivation causes elevated dopamine levels for the first 2-3 days, you feel in diffrent reality or universe. But after that, the brain gets worn down so, dopamine levels drop. I had insomnia and noticed agittion today, and elevated dopamine levels as a backup response to keep functioning. It feels awake, your more active and thoughts, but it makes you a bit insane. Insanity part of sleep deprivation doenst happen till about 4 dzyx above. Altered perceptions, and feel absolute crazed state. I'm used to zyprexa, it doenst at all effect me like it used to 10 years ago, its almost a placebo effect. It doenst help sleep induced insomnia. I feel in a slightly crazed state right now, i can recall things quickly, move multitask, hypomanic is what is happening. Full Mania is absolute insanity, i'm not expericing that right now. When im talking to someone, was fast and direct, but a bit scattered. I'm really thinking what im going to do with my life, without stimulants - im telling you, it's hard to function and keep work and a job. So, im a bit out of my mind right now, and in fixing to go into a depression afer this hypomanic episode.... but i have clearity to write this. Hypomania induced from sleep deprivation it's the body's way of combatting fatique. Just wanted to write this. Thank you for reading - end of log
Posted by rjlockhart37 on March 10, 2022, at 22:27:37
In reply to sleep deprivation log, posted by rjlockhart37 on March 10, 2022, at 22:23:51
this was a episode i rerember when captain janeway was sleep depriaved for 4 days. I'm having similar behavior, this is video of what it feels like
Posted by rjlockhart37 on March 10, 2022, at 22:54:07
In reply to Re: sleep deprivation log, posted by rjlockhart37 on March 10, 2022, at 22:27:37
i'm hypomanic right now, yes ... i might as well write what i need to write. So..people say trauma happens during childhood that can cause mental dysfunctions later in life. I had a happy childhood, loving family, it was wonderful, i want to go back. The truma that happened to me was nothing, like sexual abuse. I was ripped off medications, my parents turned against me, they ripped off dexedrine ... which was helping me function, she called the doctor and said no more dexedrine. A doctor is suppost to only see the patient. It was abuse happening at home, so i went to my doctor, and told him, i have never seen evil in the face before, but i did, he said im discharging you, your gonna have to go to rehabilitation facility. I came to my doctor to tell him about the abuse that was happening. Some kind of evil spirit that was jumping around into people, i was in slight out of mind state because i thought there was a spirit that was possessing my parents, the doctor, my brother, but it was legitmate. So, that pain that happened in 2009-2010. I've known not to be a victime from trauma, even something thinking using black magic and But im a chirstain, i follow jesus, don't evil back to evil. So, that has caused anger, going into a rage, having thoughts of assassinating the abuse doers. I'm just a regular guy, i don't have a phone to call and ask to eliminatw someone because they did wrong. I'm follower jesus, he said specifally to turn the cheek and take persecution. It's natural to want to fight back. Anways, i need to get this anger, im not a angry person, im not, my friends say im a sweet guy. But this rage that was created from that trauma, i need a therapist. So, basically in turn i've turned to god, and i've been curious about the supernatural relnn for help, crazy and i know it, who knows open a portal to the dark side and have bad events happen. No, thank you God is the only reason im here, and were here to save people from hell. Hell is just a word in this life, when you die and realize you actually in hell, absolute loss of hope, That's why don't talk down and patronize people, let them know there is terrible place that people go too, if there not saved, and theirs sins are recorded in their book, their life book. I don't like people who preach about jesus and talk down to people, you have to let them know, personally as a friend there is a place of suffering indescrable, and warn them. Ok anyways, religious rants, and rants about the past. I want to help people, crete ideas i don't care about being rich, no, finding a path in life getting envolved in world events, and doing goodness. Ok, i'm slowing down, hypomanic episode happening currently. It will pass soon and ill get depressed for a few days. Thank you for reading, your valuable and don't forget it. End of log
Posted by rjlockhart37 on March 10, 2022, at 23:10:34
In reply to Re: sleep deprivation log, posted by rjlockhart37 on March 10, 2022, at 22:54:07
hopefully soon, somethign will change. I've been isolated, and only thinking the spiritual reln is there to help me. Feeling alone, and not any options to take, yes that's correct. I've gotten....so many opputunities to get envolved with GOP political campain, though text on my phone, subcribed to it. I know .. when i go out, and start work, i will have a hard time, you not suppost to think failure will happen, but it's happen almost all the time in the past. It's tine to forget about the past, and leave it. Use the anger caused by abuse, and make it drive you. Sitting here, and saying im alone, im alone, well sure i am because i've avoided going to the world because im scared, in scared because of the failure. I work online and i create ideas, to help society, It's free, you don't have to pay money like a book, you just read it onlline for free. Whatever happens with my life, i hope there will be someone or something that will help me, through struggles, and making it into the world. Find who you are, use your memories and you inmagination, and maybe find and use that, to persue you life. Thank you for reading. End of log
Posted by rjlockhart37 on March 11, 2022, at 15:56:48
In reply to Re: sleep deprivation log, posted by rjlockhart37 on March 10, 2022, at 23:10:34
But, that's the human nature, from the flesh. Jesus taught turn the cheek, and accept persecution. Assassinating wrong doers, will first of all, you'll be in prison, and all your family will know it. You will see regret of what you did, after the anger and rage, passes, evil people have no feeling of what they have done wrong. Like someone genocide, many people, that is evil, having no regret of the things done. Follow Jesus, tell people that goodness, will endure persecution. Stay faithful till the end, with no corruption in your soul.
Posted by rjlockhart37 on March 13, 2022, at 1:55:30
In reply to Re: sleep deprivation log, posted by rjlockhart37 on March 11, 2022, at 15:56:48
I don't want to explain what happened but - i was 21 and working for my brother, still lived with my parents, i was on high dose of dexedrine which kept me in alert state, went to work, did things, then i screwed them up. I'm known for doing that, clumsly disapline, then i was having anamosity both at work and home. Empolyer - was angry and i felt that i failed them, leaving me depressed, then dexedrine wore off at the end of my shift, that was another depression hit, after boss wasnt happy, then i go home, my .. parents didnt like me, they would tell me your feeling sorry for yourself and move out. There was bad, anamosity, the energy i felt, being almost hated - and yes i mean hated, not exaggeration. I thought there was an evil spirit that was jumping from my employer, my doctor, my parents, because i rerember they all had this same facial expression. They would have this same facial expression, and i thouhght spirit was jumping into people, the mad hatter playing games, i thought it was the jokster (the trickster, folk lore) everywhere i went, i thought jokster would jump into people, the same facial expression, in diffrent people. It was like a grin smile, exact. I went to my doctor to tell him what was going on, my mother followed me to the doctors office, i told my doctor, about what's happening. He gave a shady look with no sympathy, then my mom walked in. They both planned to discharge me, i couldnt believe it. The doctor was evil, i knew it was jokster, that jumped into him. Then after all that happened, mental collapse, during that time i stayed in bed, they came in and said move out. I was weak position, they were blind, and fact that had abuse tendencies. I had some psychotic breats happening, i went a bit crazy thinking everywhere i went, the jokster spirit was following and jumping into people. That same...grin, the same grin that was in my employer, my parents, the waiter at the resturant, custodian at the church. This is gonna sound, very whack, but i thought the mad hatter was assigning spirits, to bring bad events, play jokes - making bad things happen Dexedrine can cause paranoia, it releases dopamine, and yes when there's higher levels of dopamine in the brain, nervy synapse, it causes paranoia and delusion. But, it happened even after being taken off it, my dopamine levels went down but i still thought the trickster was planning things and jumping into people, giving me that same evil grin, smile. What i think happened, was all that stress and abuse, got rounds of imaginary gunshots and caused psychosis. I have never seen such hatred, then ... as time went on, it went away.
You know there's many other people who have had worse things happen to them, sexual abuse, all sorts of it. But the pain, that anamosity, thinking they hated me so much, they trying to plot evil things. That's when i started noticing the evil grin, the jokster spirit. That...is what resulted of all that stress and imaginary gunshot wounds to heart. It caused trauma, and brief psychotic episodes. After that, things settled, and kinda of sitting duck period. I feel scared, to go into the world again, because of failure. People having a good heart, warm, then after time they disliked me. So that's what ahppened. This is the internet, this is my screen name, thank its not under real name. But i have no threapist, no one to listen, so i just wrote it on the net. There is no room, for sorrow and asking people to say i feel you, you just...have to keep going. You have to let it go, and yes i did, but that pain, the memory of it is still there, put away and locked. I do not want this to be a story, people talk about in self help groups I may regret writing this spilling all over vomit emotions, but you know, it has to get out, don't have a therapist so i wrote it on the net. Nothing wanted, or interacted with me, i just wrote it. I found help in god, praying, and getting corruption out, and follow jesus. I'm now low on mental energy, but i'll write more. I think sharing or inspiring people, through advice and expericnes because it's for the better good, help society, and save people from darkness. You have the option of turning the page in life, writing another book for your life, or simply closing everything. Write another book, or chapter for your life. Simply closing everythng is bsically like retiring from life. If you read this, i had to write it, but do not associate this with me, this was a blog and not a public statement, or testimony. People can dislike you for vomiting up emoitons, so, this is discreet log. Save people and tell them to repent of their sins, before death. Ending this scattered, messy blog, but that's what happened. Help other people, share and inspire to better, for the good. End of log
Posted by rjlockhart37 on March 16, 2022, at 19:25:54
In reply to Re: sleep deprivation log - 1, posted by rjlockhart37 on March 13, 2022, at 1:55:30
i'll simpify what happened that caused truama, plus i had no one to go too, but anyways i was on high dose of dexedrine, for work, i worked for someone who ... if i didnt do the right things, i got chewed out and abused, dexedrine made me crazy at the office after i was shamed in frount of everyone. I went crazy, and started having harsh works back. But after that, i left a note to this employer that i was leaving, i had to leavee i couldlnt maintain the abuse and....the abuse was not considered abuse, it was more being humuliated and shamed, i couldnt take it anymore, and plus when dexedrine wore off, huge depression period, then i went home they wanted me to move out, i couldnt with the state i was in, it got really abusive at home, nothing at all psyhcial but it was the atmosphdre and energy i felt of them restenting me. almost hating me. This continued for about 6 months, and then i started having psychotic episodes, thinking the trickster was jumping around and possessing people i went too, it would be the grin, it was the same grin in everyone, my employer, at home, custodian at church, waitress at resturamt, i was out of my mind, i thought he was jumping everywhere and causing bad events to happen. It ws more a psychosis trauma, i have written all of but, that's what happened, do not every want to be vulnerable as during that time period, being planned to throw into rehabilitation facility, the hateful atmosphere, it made me go psychotic, like i said - the trickster, was playing mind games, everywhere i went, i would see people with the same grin, as the trickster, out of my mind. Anyways that's what happened, yes it did cause trauma, i have not written more things because they should not be told, but i know, it caused truama that had psychotic episodes as a result. I had to write it, there is no therapist to go too, no doctor, no friend, ill just write my truma times on the internet. And don't associate with me, or my real name. Just briefly read, and know that's what happened, but don't associate it, i wrote this anaymously. Don't let the past, heal your hurt, keep going and use creativty as a escape, lern to have mind that has survived. My story is nothign compared to other horrid truamas that have happened to other peoplee. But i rerember the pain, and shock and psychotic episodes. Sometmes....when you don't stop looking for love, being loved is help to the pain that happned that i know that someone loves me truely. Ok, that's it. Thank for reading, this is anamymous trauma expereinces. End of log
Posted by rjlockhart37 on March 16, 2022, at 19:51:55
In reply to Re: sleep deprivation log - 1, posted by rjlockhart37 on March 16, 2022, at 19:25:54
it all seemed to disappear by 2011, no longer spiritual paranoia, feeling that incredibly resent hateful atmosphere that broke me down, then dexedrine would wear off leaving me tired and washed out, then frequently things happened after. It was much that it tcaused psychosis, for a brief period of time. I'm saying the experience i went through thinking the trickster was possesing people, with the same smile grin, like the jokster, everywhere i went, someonen would look at me with that grin, home was no longer home, it was more like being laughed about, in a high school classroom.. Being totally deprived of love, only hate. I got through it but i rerember, but anyways i shouldnt be ranting about this, this is the internet. Keep this discreet, but that's what happened
Posted by rjlockhart37 on March 17, 2022, at 21:48:21
In reply to Re: sleep deprivation log - 1, posted by rjlockhart37 on March 13, 2022, at 1:55:30
I don't want to explain what happened but - i was 21 and working for my brother, still lived with my parents, i was on high dose of dexedrine which kept me in alert state, went to work, did things, then i screwed them up. I'm known for doing that, clumsly disapline, then i was having anamosity both at work and home. Empolyer - was angry and i felt that i failed them, leaving me depressed, then dexedrine wore off at the end of my shift, that was another depression hit, after boss wasnt happy, then i go home, my .. parents didnt like me, they would tell me your feeling sorry for yourself and move out. There was bad, anamosity, the energy i felt, being almost hated - and yes i mean hated, not exaggeration. I thought there was an evil spirit that was jumping from my employer, my doctor, my parents, because i rerember they all had this same facial expression. They would have this same facial expression, and i thouhght spirit was jumping into people, the mad hatter playing games, i thought it was the jokster (the trickster, folk lore) everywhere i went, i thought jokster would jump into people, the same facial expression, in diffrent people. It was like a grin smile, exact. I went to my doctor to tell him what was going on, my mother followed me to the doctors office, i told my doctor, about what's happening. He gave a shady look with no sympathy, then my mom walked in. They both planned to discharge me, i couldnt believe it. The doctor was evil, i knew it was jokster, that jumped into him. Then after all that happened, mental collapse, during that time i stayed in bed, they came in and said move out. I was weak position, they were blind, and fact that had abuse tendencies. I had some psychotic breats happening, i went a bit crazy thinking everywhere i went, the jokster spirit was following and jumping into people. That same...grin, the same grin that was in my employer, my parents, the waiter at the resturant, custodian at the church. This is gonna sound, very whack, but i thought the mad hatter was assigning spirits, to bring bad events, play jokes - making bad things happen Dexedrine can cause paranoia, it releases dopamine, and yes when there's higher levels of dopamine in the brain, nervy synapse, it causes paranoia and delusion. But, it happened even after being taken off it, my dopamine levels went down but i still thought the trickster was planning things and jumping into people, giving me that same evil grin, smile. What i think happened, was all that stress and abuse, got rounds of imaginary gunshots and caused psychosis. I have never seen such hatred, then ... as time went on, it went away.
You know there's many other people who have had worse things happen to them, sexual abuse, all sorts of it. But the pain, that anamosity, thinking they hated me so much, they trying to plot evil things. That's when i started noticing the evil grin, the jokster spirit. That...is what resulted of all that stress and imaginary gunshot wounds to heart. It caused trauma, and brief psychotic episodes. After that, things settled, and kinda of sitting duck period. I feel scared, to go into the world again, because of failure. People having a good heart, warm, then after time they disliked me. So that's what ahppened. This is the internet, this is my screen name, thank its not under real name. But i have no threapist, no one to listen, so i just wrote it on the net. There is no room, for sorrow and asking people to say i feel you, you just...have to keep going. You have to let it go, and yes i did, but that pain, the memory of it is still there, put away and locked. I do not want this to be a story, people talk about in self help groups I may regret writing this spilling all over vomit emotions, but you know, it has to get out, don't have a therapist so i wrote it on the net. Nothing wanted, or interacted with me, i just wrote it. I found help in god, praying, and getting corruption out, and follow jesus. I'm now low on mental energy, but i'll write more. I think sharing or inspiring people, through advice and expericnes because it's for the better good, help society, and save people from darkness. You have the option of turning the page in life, writing another book for your life, or simply closing everything. Write another book, or chapter for your life. Simply closing everythng is bsically like retiring from life. If you read this, i had to write it, but do not associate this with me, this was a blog and not a public statement, or testimony. People can dislike you for vomiting up emoitons, so, this is discreet log. Save people and tell them to repent of their sins, before death. Ending this scattered, messy blog, but that's what happened. Help other people, share and inspire to better, for the good. End of log
Don't be a victim, when this stuff happened, it was from vertbal abuse, and it lasted for 6 months, until it started making me psychotic, thinking there's an evil spirit jumping to each person i would talk too, that's what happened. But keep this discreet, just a log. End of Log
Posted by rjlockhart37 on March 17, 2022, at 21:54:22
In reply to Re: sleep deprivation log - full, posted by rjlockhart37 on March 17, 2022, at 21:48:21
goodness all this mess, after reading it and thinking what other people would think, they would say crazy and leave. This is discreet log, this is not public with my name attached to it. This is discreet, blog of life, that happened. Yes, some of it is gibberish, and sounds crazy but i write sometimes my true feelings, even if there crazy, the reason is i don't have anyone to talk too, i don't have a therapist, i don't have close friends, i do with my girlfriend, but ... it doenst work. I just had to let it out, even if crazy, i wrote it to tell someone. Ok, that's it, be the best person you can, be the same person personally, privatly and publicly. Don't be many people, and have a corrupt heart. Do goodness. End of log
Posted by rjlockhart37 on March 18, 2022, at 2:40:01
In reply to Re: sleep deprivation log - full, posted by rjlockhart37 on March 17, 2022, at 21:54:22
enough of gibberish, i wrote what happened that caused mild trauma, and that's it. You just keep going and try to put the past behind you, and believe in god. End of log
Posted by Jay2112 on March 19, 2022, at 11:52:24
In reply to Re: sleep deprivation log - full, posted by rjlockhart37 on March 18, 2022, at 2:40:01
> enough of gibberish, i wrote what happened that caused mild trauma, and that's it. You just keep going and try to put the past behind you, and believe in god. End of log
You should really have someone, a semi-pro, to talk to. It makes a BIG difference. Try the NAMI website....nami.org, I believe. Just because your parents/brother whomever put you down, does NOT mean it, or any of it, is true. It sounds like you have very little support, with conservative family members who constantly judge you. That is just *wrong*.
Jay
Posted by rjlockhart37 on March 19, 2022, at 17:18:23
In reply to Re: sleep deprivation log - full » rjlockhart37, posted by Jay2112 on March 19, 2022, at 11:52:24
i'm looking for aa therapist, i wrote this hypomanic now im depressed
Posted by rjlockhart37 on March 19, 2022, at 17:20:49
In reply to Re: sleep deprivation log - full, posted by rjlockhart37 on March 19, 2022, at 17:18:23
thanks for the response, ill get a therapist, anyone....soon to talk too
Posted by rjlockhart37 on March 19, 2022, at 17:25:24
In reply to Re: sleep deprivation log, posted by rjlockhart37 on March 10, 2022, at 23:10:34
this is greuling to read now, because i wrote this higher level of hypomania, then when you come back to earth, it looks ranting, and unnessacry info.
Posted by Jay2112 on March 20, 2022, at 14:41:22
In reply to Re: sleep deprivation log - full, posted by rjlockhart37 on March 19, 2022, at 17:18:23
> i'm looking for aa therapist, i wrote this hypomanic now im depressed
You don't need an expensive therapist. There are people at NAMI.org who will talk to you for free. Pretty much just as good too.
This is the end of the thread.
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