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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by garnet71 on April 20, 2009, at 16:26:22
Would fear of losing control of my thoughts substantiate the need for a mood stabilizer or something else?
I don't have a way to explain this in concrete terms...I'm not having racing thoughts, anxiety..but just some sort of fear that one day, I'll wake up and lose control of everything.
I've started to open the mail again, and it is bad news. I think i've been in denial - to protect myself - by ignoring serious issues. Denial about how serious my current situation is.
So when I opened the mail today-there was my financial aid 'award' for grad school - there is no aid. I'm not sure if I qualify for all those loans and could handle $100,000 in student loans when I graduate. I'm not going to medical school!! But if i don't finish grad school, I feel like my life is going to fall apart and I won't be able to get a decent paying job enough to cover current debt/student loans I already have.
Then there was a denail for food stamps because I couldn't send documents back to the state. I just haven't been able to get myself to do it, and totally ignored the deadline (well i didn't check to see that one existed).
This doesn't count all the bills I haven't opened and some other things....I haven't been able to take the necessary steps to sell my home. I've done some things.
My car inspection is expiring this month and I don't have $2000 for all the repairs to fix the engine; at least $1500 just to pass inspection.
It just seems like one additional thing is just going to set me off. I think i'm running out of coping mechanisms. I used to be so tough; I could handle anything and just push on. Now I am such a wimp.
So would a mood stabilizer prevent a mental breakdown? I'm scared. I need my doctor's help.
Posted by Zana on April 20, 2009, at 17:06:37
In reply to mood stablizers for fear of losing control?, posted by garnet71 on April 20, 2009, at 16:26:22
You do need help. I don't know exactly what meds you need but it's clear from your post that you are overwhelmed, for good reason, and need help so that you can cope with all of this. It sounds like a terriblle situation. I can sympathize. My husband is out of work and we may have to sell our house and I can't really think about it at all. Even tho I know not thinking about it will make things worse.
People who have never been depressed do not understand how debilitating it is.
I think you need a good doctor, someone who can help you find the right meds. I think you are exactly right about that.
Hang in there. You're dealing with really tough stuff.
Take car.Zana
Posted by sowhysosad on April 20, 2009, at 17:08:07
In reply to mood stablizers for fear of losing control?, posted by garnet71 on April 20, 2009, at 16:26:22
You've described exactly how I've been over the last six months or so - terrified of facing up to responsibility and unable to do certain basic things because of accociated fear and anxiety.
I too often feel on the edge of a precipice - like reality could propel me into deep anxiety and depression at any moment.
Let me know if you have any luck with mood stabilisers or any other course of action!
Posted by Garnet71 on April 20, 2009, at 17:38:04
In reply to mood stablizers for fear of losing control?, posted by garnet71 on April 20, 2009, at 16:26:22
{{{(((((ZANA~WHYSOSAD~GARNET))))}}}}
Group hug!
Damn, i wish I had a man to lean on right now. My ex has called, texted, and emailed me - it is tempting. But I know letting him back in my life will cause more problems in the long run. I just ignore his attempts to get back in my life. He did write he was moving again - I did not even ask him where - I don't want to know.
So you're going to sell your home? Did you think of refinancing or getting a modification? % rates are so low--if you have a modest home-it could be less than paying rent. I know with unemployment-say seasonal work--you can qualify incomewise if the unemployment is seasonal/regular. When I was a loan officer, I'd gotten people approved for mortgages who were laid off (and they were not subprime loans).
There's a program out from the Obama administration--modifications. I had a modification done in December (and I have a subprime loan-10% interest rate) where they added my past due balance to the new note--and now they are taking escrows for taxes--so my payment went up substantially. I had handled my own taxes seperate from my payment for over 10 years prior, and it was helpful because when things got bad, I could pay the taxes late no problem.
When I called them before signing the modification contract--I said i didn't want to sign it to wait and see if there was a better program out there (lowering my % rate). They said "you'll be automatically applied for the other programs". That was a lie, because now they said I am not being considered for other programs. So-I called them and after speaking with no less than 5 departments at Countrywide,I finally reached someone who is applying me for that new homeowner's assistance program. The other people told me I wasn't eligible; one has to not have had a modification w/in the last 12 months and be able to apply, and I just had one in December. Well, after going through more people, I found a little glitch-if you have had a change in circumstances since your last modification (such as income loss/medical), you CAN apply for a new one. This stuff is all new, and a lot of people who work at the mtg. co. don't know the guidelines and stuff--but go through as many people as you can at your mtg. co. to get the answers that you want. I had to call several depts. and spend hours on the the phone just to find out what my 'real' monthy payment was; I kept getting these conflicted statements int he mail with different past-due balances and monthly payments--and more foreclosure (Act 91) notices after the modification was done. If I don't get this modification, though, i'll have to sell, and I have a feelign I'll be turned down this time. My issue is I only have but about $3000 in equity in my home after closing costs, if I'm lucky. And that does not include a realtor's commission, as I'll be doing the transaction myself. But that $3000 is necesary right now. And there's no way I could handle another major repair if something breaks.
So here's some infor. on the program:
http://ezinearticles.com/?Getting-Assistance-With-Obamas-Home-Loan-Modification-Plan&id=2207138
You apply through your mortgage co. I think you may have to be 60 days at least past due to apply, though someone at my mortgage company let me apply while I'm not past due yet. This program just came out last month.
Hope this wasn't too much information and that this was helpful....This was one thing I was able to do. Just one. I can't do anything else right now. Haven't even done my state and local taxes yet. I hope you are able to get yourself to look into this, it may benefit you.
Posted by Amelia_in_StPaul on April 20, 2009, at 17:45:05
In reply to mood stablizers for fear of losing control?, posted by garnet71 on April 20, 2009, at 16:26:22
Hey Garnet, I think that what you are describing is HUGE anxiety. I don't know that a mood stabilizer is what you need, but you do need something to help with the anxiety. With so much anxiety, a person can start to get obsessional--fear of losing control can become obsessional, as is what happened to me. Have you called your doc about the anxiety? What is your relationship w/your doc like? Can I ask what you are on right now for anxiety? I am so sorry you are going through such a rough period. It sounds overwhelming; no wonder you are experiencing such anxiety. First thing, I think, is to get that under control. You won't lose control (at least that's my experience--myself and others with that fear don't actually lose control, except through the anxiety itself), but speaking as someone who had severe anxiety with OCD (OCD can be obsessional, with mental compulsions; most people think it's only manifestation is physical compulsions like washing hands), it sounds as though the anxiety has you by the heel of its shoe. Take good, good care.
Posted by Garnet71 on April 20, 2009, at 17:59:13
In reply to Re: mood stablizers for fear of losing control? » garnet71, posted by Amelia_in_StPaul on April 20, 2009, at 17:45:05
Oh-that was really helpful. Yeah-I can see obsessions with fear of losing control. I think that's how my anxiety derives-when I think about not being able to have control over a situation-where others can have control over me - like the military. I actaully never had GAD (or depression for that matter) until after I joined the military. hmmm. never thought of that before.
But with anxiety, I normally feel in that fight-or flight mode-which I don't feel right now. so yeah, it could be OCD related symptoms. Last time I had strange anxiety symptoms-distorted vision and racing thoughts-my PDoc said those symptoms were only manifestations of anxiety and not from bipolar (these systmpoms just a couple of months ago were new to me).
That sounds reassuring--but still--you can have a total breakdown from anxiety though, can't you? When I had a 4-day long panic attack-I ended up having sort of a dissassociation (I think?)-I looked in the mirror and felt the person in the reflection wasn't me. That happened one time. It was very scary. And last time, as I mentioned, I had racing thoughts which I found terrifying--again, that lack of control.
Well I've taken Buspirone for about 2 months now, I think, and Xanax on occassion. I took a lot of Xanax last week though when I had adverse effects from the rebound affect of Adderall (and I quit taking that). I'm being conservative with Xanax use, t hough I do have extras and my pdoc appt. is Thursday. But it's with the RN-not the doctor.
Thank you :))
Posted by Garnet71 on April 20, 2009, at 18:52:26
In reply to Re: mood stablizers for fear of losing control?, posted by Zana on April 20, 2009, at 17:06:37
Zana--you'd be better off with a mortgage modification, maybe, since they can reduce your monthly payment and % rate. Here's a better site:
http://makinghomeaffordable.gov/
Maybe you could print that out and give it to your husband? The govt. is assuming part of the risk to the lender (investor) and with a job loss and your medical problems, you'd very likely be approved. I didn't read the guidelines yet, though. that's for another day...For modifications, the closing costs are so minimal, as opposed to refinancing. I think my cost was $150. It's really better off for everyone, since banks don't usually recoup the full mtg. amount w/foreclosures. You'd probably need to write a letter of explanation for your cirumstances. Underwriters analyze future ability to pay and circumstances beyond your control connected with credit issues-so write your letter carefully.
This is the only decent thing they have come out with since those damn bailouts. It really could help you out.
Posted by Zyprexa on April 20, 2009, at 20:54:54
In reply to mood stablizers for fear of losing control?, posted by garnet71 on April 20, 2009, at 16:26:22
I agree, you should take a med. Probably a mood stablizer would help. Or maybe an AP?
Posted by Phillipa on April 21, 2009, at 0:05:53
In reply to Re: mood stablizers for fear of losing control? » Zana, posted by Garnet71 on April 20, 2009, at 18:52:26
Garnet in all this time don't think I've asked what the Grad School Is For? What Profession. Extreme anxiety is my guess too. I can give advise and not follow it myself but baby steps one thing at a time. Firs the most pressing. Love Phillipa
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