![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on September 27, 2008, at 18:06:20
I have to get this out. If you dont believe me, go your own way, do not respond.
I have suffered so much abuse, self-abuse, and cried until my eyes have dried of tears. And i have had it with people saying your the "victim". Do people not see what is going on in my mind? there ignorant, they know nothing, all they see is a man.
I've had emotional outbursts on the floor, people didnt care, my mother just recently said "if you want to end your life, then you make that descion". And still, is almost "waiting" for me to do it. I'm sorry i was born to a mother of this.
Those words are of Satan, the abuse she caused(s) me is beyond comprehention. When i was 17 i went beserk because i was over alot and my mother came screaming in room, the next the she did was "your going into a hospital". Repeated times she did this, and blamed me. "You are the problem" then why dont you HELP ME! "because i'm not you". Control and manipulation. I do rebell, but have to see the main problem, the source is coming from her. And then i get blamed, and assumptionally accused of anything that goes wrong, people will always point the finger at me. 2nd of all, my speech disorder causes me to forget events, because they where so bad, i chose to forget them, and life is a "window". I want to touch someone and feel a friend, but there is a window, if anyone will have ear, i'm in a room trying to break this "window" that holds back emotional turmoil. I cant, "offically" feel someone.
I hope this woman will endure the burning feeling of torment she inflicted on me, let the filthy still be filthy.
The amount i've cried so hard on the floor with no one there, it doesnt matter anymore. I've cried so hard, migranes have started. Personalites where created to help and comfort, "Tiffany" replaced my mother. I've thought how crazy this is, but this is the truth. I've thought about taking a blow to the head, but immidiatly personalites will switch and will not let it take place. There is a "mental" mother inside me. I take care of myself, in my perceptive life is passive, i have to switch to see it in diffrent views.
I have a mother that was created in results of "abandonment". Because these people where never there fully for me, and result, characters, or could personalites "i love you so much" even when i'm left, in the rain, the whole world leaves me behind. tell me they love me. The feeling of Abondnment, will cause some personality disorder's. I've thought about terminating my life, really the best way is a full blow to the head. I'll give whatever to her and say "only the one who inflicts the pain can take it away". My mother already told me "its ok" its your choice. I'll just hand her the Gun, and ask her, you gave life to me. Now you will take it from me.
I dont ever talk about this in public or with other people, because they think its b*llsh*t. The truth will set you free, if people are blind to it, that's their own loss. All i know is God, will wipe every tear from our eyes, neither shall their be no more pain and suffering, these things will of passed of away. Suffering is real, Happiness is an Illusion.
The feeling of abandonment with a disorder(asperger's) that i cannot take on responsiblity that other people my age can. Other people, domimant personalites where created as a "mother" and a "father" and others....
I am controlled in every aspect of my life, i need some advice right now, please tell me how to get out. I dont want to end my life, and all these things will go away once i get away from this house. I just need, motherly and fatherly support from this website. My mother doenst know what to do. Now knowing, i'm in so much desperate pain right now, i'm venting. And who ever says this is wrong, its not, look at this site and you will see, we support eachother here.
These things will pass away, if i give a consent for somehere that is morally to be here with me.
Amen
Rj
Posted by azalea on September 27, 2008, at 20:13:05
In reply to Abuse, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on September 27, 2008, at 18:06:20
rjlockhart--your post is an incredible expression of emotion and suffering. I hope you find a good combination of medication and therapy to relieve your pain. We're here at psychobabble to provide support and suggestions. Stay strong.
> I have to get this out. If you dont believe me, go your own way, do not respond.
>
> I have suffered so much abuse, self-abuse, and cried until my eyes have dried of tears. And i have had it with people saying your the "victim". Do people not see what is going on in my mind? there ignorant, they know nothing, all they see is a man.
>
> I've had emotional outbursts on the floor, people didnt care, my mother just recently said "if you want to end your life, then you make that descion". And still, is almost "waiting" for me to do it. I'm sorry i was born to a mother of this.
>
> Those words are of Satan, the abuse she caused(s) me is beyond comprehention. When i was 17 i went beserk because i was over alot and my mother came screaming in room, the next the she did was "your going into a hospital". Repeated times she did this, and blamed me. "You are the problem" then why dont you HELP ME! "because i'm not you". Control and manipulation. I do rebell, but have to see the main problem, the source is coming from her. And then i get blamed, and assumptionally accused of anything that goes wrong, people will always point the finger at me. 2nd of all, my speech disorder causes me to forget events, because they where so bad, i chose to forget them, and life is a "window". I want to touch someone and feel a friend, but there is a window, if anyone will have ear, i'm in a room trying to break this "window" that holds back emotional turmoil. I cant, "offically" feel someone.
>
> I hope this woman will endure the burning feeling of torment she inflicted on me, let the filthy still be filthy.
>
> The amount i've cried so hard on the floor with no one there, it doesnt matter anymore. I've cried so hard, migranes have started. Personalites where created to help and comfort, "Tiffany" replaced my mother. I've thought how crazy this is, but this is the truth. I've thought about taking a blow to the head, but immidiatly personalites will switch and will not let it take place. There is a "mental" mother inside me. I take care of myself, in my perceptive life is passive, i have to switch to see it in diffrent views.
>
> I have a mother that was created in results of "abandonment". Because these people where never there fully for me, and result, characters, or could personalites "i love you so much" even when i'm left, in the rain, the whole world leaves me behind. tell me they love me. The feeling of Abondnment, will cause some personality disorder's. I've thought about terminating my life, really the best way is a full blow to the head. I'll give whatever to her and say "only the one who inflicts the pain can take it away". My mother already told me "its ok" its your choice. I'll just hand her the Gun, and ask her, you gave life to me. Now you will take it from me.
>
> I dont ever talk about this in public or with other people, because they think its b*llsh*t. The truth will set you free, if people are blind to it, that's their own loss. All i know is God, will wipe every tear from our eyes, neither shall their be no more pain and suffering, these things will of passed of away. Suffering is real, Happiness is an Illusion.
>
> The feeling of abandonment with a disorder(asperger's) that i cannot take on responsiblity that other people my age can. Other people, domimant personalites where created as a "mother" and a "father" and others....
>
> I am controlled in every aspect of my life, i need some advice right now, please tell me how to get out. I dont want to end my life, and all these things will go away once i get away from this house. I just need, motherly and fatherly support from this website. My mother doenst know what to do. Now knowing, i'm in so much desperate pain right now, i'm venting. And who ever says this is wrong, its not, look at this site and you will see, we support eachother here.
>
> These things will pass away, if i give a consent for somehere that is morally to be here with me.
>
> Amen
>
> Rj
>
>
Posted by Phillipa on September 27, 2008, at 21:17:06
In reply to Re: Abuse » rjlockhart04-08, posted by azalea on September 27, 2008, at 20:13:05
I thought I was your Mother figure and you are not to hurt yourself in any way as I care about you. Do you hear me? Come back And be here don't drift away. Love Mom Phillipa
Posted by desolationrower on September 27, 2008, at 22:32:14
In reply to Abuse, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on September 27, 2008, at 18:06:20
It sounds like you have a lot to struggle with right now. I hope you can get into a new situation soon
-d/r
Posted by Jeroen on September 29, 2008, at 14:22:24
In reply to Abuse, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on September 27, 2008, at 18:06:20
hi same bit here, mother wants to get into hospital or police escort me to there
what you need is money, go live on your own and be happy, thats how i am going to do it, away with forcible psychiatry and mother and father
Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on September 29, 2008, at 16:27:11
In reply to Re: Abuse, posted by Jeroen on September 29, 2008, at 14:22:24
All i know is, things will get worse in life, and they always will get better. Cant take on situation and say "i can't deal it". There always is 10000's of chances, i've failed about 11 of them.
All, i can do, is take the regrets i have, the pains, the sins, and lay to rest.
I can't end my life, there something that is strongly in my heart saying, "you where born for a purpose" and who ever says "your nothing", i dont take that anymore. I am something, i'm struggling, and people could just see "inside" the inner part of mind, you would understand.
That's why i've used some Hypnosis to find deep thigns in my head that i dont understand. But, it takes a long time, and is not the awnser, its just a tool to help understand.
Too all who read this, i would of deleted it, but i can't on this website. Facebook i can. So, i appriate everyone of your responses.
This is a supportive family website.
and Phillipa, thank you, i know your have been through alot. I would definely sign over to be your son.
Rj
Posted by Phillipa on September 29, 2008, at 19:38:06
In reply to Re: Abuse, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on September 29, 2008, at 16:27:11
Such a sweetie!!!! Love Phillipa
Posted by calamityjane on September 30, 2008, at 0:18:39
In reply to Re: Abuse, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on September 29, 2008, at 16:27:11
rj -
if someone tells you that you are "nothing" then the ONLY thing you can honestly take away from that is the knowledge that they will have to face God with that one day. No matter whom you believed created this world, it was created with a purpose in mind. You DO have a purpose in this world, and this world does need you.Its hard, but never forget that the ones who cause our hurt are often dealing with tremendous pain inside themselves as well.
And BTW - you helped me tonight. You helped me realize something I needed to acknowledge in my own life. So thank you.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Medication | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.