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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on March 29, 2007, at 0:11:57
I've been in a state of panic and he basically has told me that I really need to push the klonopin.
I was taking .25mg every couple of days, but things in therapy and life-wise have taken a turn for the stressful. so I started taking more like .75 mg a day. still, I've been getting 4 hours of sleeep a night and many hours of panic.
oh and the best is that about 20 hours after taking cymbalta 30mg I get acute withdrawal. so we've decided to take me off of that. I'm to be prepared for a week of "flu like symptoms" I looked him in the eye and said "um, have you ever had the flu? and have you ever had cymbalta withdrawal? not even comparable.
I'm going to stock up on juice in the meanwhile and hope that I survive the weekend. T's back in town after 3 weeks. I wrote a dissertation while she was gone. that's pretty cool, I guess. now I just need to edit it.
but 2-3 mg of klonopin a day is a lot, i think. He told me I need to spend more time sleeping and less time anxiously ruminating.
I told him that I need 8 hours a day of working time and that the rest of the time I didn't really care how i spend my time.
If i have to go to the hospital will you still care for me? will it make me a bad person?
I'm so scared
Posted by Honore on March 29, 2007, at 9:03:09
In reply to my pdoc is increasing my klonopin, posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on March 29, 2007, at 0:11:57
Llurpsie, if you go to the hospital, we'll still care about you.
Nothing will change except that we'll be more concerned how how you're feeling, and how you're being treated.
I'mso sorry about the cymbalta discontinuation. And any new distressing things that' you've learned.
But I'm proud of your for writing your dissertation, despite--or because of-- your T's absence. That's accomplishmentthat will outlast this turmoil and always be there.
Just take care of yourself the very best you can.
Hugs, Honore
Posted by Phillipa on March 29, 2007, at 11:33:40
In reply to Re: my pdoc is increasing my klonopin, posted by Honore on March 29, 2007, at 9:03:09
Lurpsie I feel for you. You have accomplished your dissertation goal easy to give advise but do try and rest I can't but I'll bet Lurpsie can. I do feel for you and am and have been in your shoes. Love Phillipa
Posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on March 29, 2007, at 15:07:20
In reply to my pdoc is increasing my klonopin, posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on March 29, 2007, at 0:11:57
I told my T that i was worried i might need to go to the hospital this weekend, and she scheduled me an extra session tomorrow, and we'll see. I'm in pretty bad shape. I dunno what will happen.
maybe I'll try to get a little work done before then. I don't know what being in the hospital is like. I've never been there before. :( All I know is that home is not safe for me.
i go do work now, before the zaps start.
-Ll
Posted by chiron on March 29, 2007, at 18:29:14
In reply to klonopin up, cymbalta down, posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on March 29, 2007, at 15:07:20
I spent a few days at the hospital about a year ago after crashing from Adderall. Wasn't too bad, I ended up with a good psychiatrist (I was just seeing family physician before). On the positive side it's nice to have other people in the same boat as you around. I made some beaded jewelry :) Right now I woulnd't mind going back except it would be a problem with my job & it's kind of expensive. But it was worth the expense when I was in such bad shape.
That's what sounds beneficial for me right now - being around people that can relate instead of being around people that I have to pretend I'm a happy normal.
Posted by Phillipa on March 29, 2007, at 18:37:18
In reply to klonopin up, cymbalta down, posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on March 29, 2007, at 15:07:20
Lurpsie I'm so sorry. I can tell you based on my own experiences both as patient and worker. Different places are better than others I'm sure you know that as well as staff. You will be safe Don't bother bringing hangers or anything glass unless you don't mind them being locked up and having someone let you use them and watch you. And no razers they have them but someone will watch you shave. Don't bring a lot money or wear jewelry maybe a ring. They will lock them in a safe somewhere. You will have someone check on you every l0-l5 minutes the first few days and nights too. And there should be some groups although weekends are very slow but a large hospital may be better. Meals in a large room on the floor. A community room with a tv and games cards, bring comfy clothes like sweats and sneakers, and no hair dryers they should have one you will have to ask to use. And a one on one with a staff member should be every shift doesn't always happen though. Lurpsie you can get me for more info. Love Phillipa
Posted by UgottaHaveHope on March 30, 2007, at 1:55:02
In reply to my pdoc is increasing my klonopin, posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on March 29, 2007, at 0:11:57
Dont let ppl on this board spook you about Klonopin. Its a great drug that has worked wonders for countless ppl. And very safe. Ive taken it for 10 years, going from as low as 0.25 to as high as 4 mg. Right now, to calm down, take 2-3 mg per day for a couple of weeks without thinking twice, then as you regain control of yourself, you can taper down. But Id stick with your pdoc's advice. If 2-3 mg makes you tired, take them at bedtime. If not, split throughouot the day. Keep us updated please, Michael
Posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on March 30, 2007, at 4:29:12
In reply to Re: 4 mg and below of Klonopin is common » Llurpsie_Noodle, posted by UgottaHaveHope on March 30, 2007, at 1:55:02
thank you all.
michael, i used to be able to take my meds without second guess but everytime i tip out a klonopin or two or three... i just want to tip out the whole bottle and eat it like candy to make things go away.
I'm sorry I'm not able to think more clearly. but I'm really not so healthy right now. very disconnected. poor memory.
i see t later this afternoon. i think i'll be brave and ask her for help. i live on my own right now, and i'm scared that i don't have anyone to wake me up or take me to the hospital if necessary. that means i should probably go myself. the klonopin is nice. but too tempting. and everytime it gets easier to imagine overdosing. just to make things slow down and go away.
this is the 5th night in a row tat i have woken up before 4 am. but i cannot get much rest. despite klonopin and rozerem. my body just fights it. I'm kind of stubborn like that.
i wish i could just take my pills like a good llurpsienoodle.
Posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on March 30, 2007, at 7:09:42
In reply to *trigger* » UgottaHaveHope, posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on March 30, 2007, at 4:29:12
I think my body fights rest and sleep because of nightmares I've been having and the need to stay vigilant. My place is scary. there's a kid upstairs and sometimes he's not treated very well and then I get very scared. and the mouse.
right now I was able to get 2 hours sleep from klonopin. i feel like i have a hangover tho.
and a wicked electrical storm rages in my head from acute cymbalta wtihdrawal. shocks and snaps and zaps come in multiples of 3, sometimes 5. always an odd number. and i cannot control them either.
i have been hiding the truth about my dark thoughts for so long from T and pdoc. i allude to them, but maybe if they knew how gruesome they were they might be able to help me better.
I don't think I can make it on my own anymore.
-Ll
Posted by Honore on March 30, 2007, at 8:07:28
In reply to Re: *trigger* » Llurpsie_Noodle, posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on March 30, 2007, at 7:09:42
Lurpsie, Please tell your T about your thoughts about the klonopin. It's very important.
If you're alone now, please have someone stay with you. I'm sure someone would be willing to come. How about a friend from college or High school?
~~ If not, tell your T that you need to go to the hospital. What's going on now is pushing you too much to the edge, and it's not good to have to struggle with that alone.
At least until you've gotten off the cymbalta and are not having such extra feelings of mental disintegration, and sense the absence of any good future--which does exist, I promise you-- and pain..
No one should go through this alone. It's not good for you too, You do need someone, anyone. It's better to be in a hospital where there are people and more safety. Finding safety is crucial.
Please be honest with your Tat least about those things right now.
You can delve into the dark places when you're stronger. This isn't the time for that. This is the time to hold onto whatever safe things you find, and leave diving down for when things aren't so dangerous. I know you can't keep them out, but try to tell yourself that, right now, your job is to protect yourself from them.
What you need now is as much calm and security inside and especially outside as you can get.
Honore
Posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on March 30, 2007, at 9:08:29
In reply to Re: *trigger* » Llurpsie_Noodle, posted by Honore on March 30, 2007, at 8:07:28
thank you honore. you are a good friend.
I packed my bags yesterday. to go to hospital. i'm only getting worse since then. but time ekes on.soon it will be time to go to my T appt. do i bring my bag? i think i will. i also packed a knitting project. i hope they let me knit. no scissors though.
I don't want to bring my computer if it should get stolen i'd be dead.
until then i'll just hunker down in my little cave and try to redirect traffic in my head
this was a very nice post from you. be proud that you help me.
Posted by UgottaHaveHope on March 30, 2007, at 9:59:15
In reply to *trigger* » UgottaHaveHope, posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on March 30, 2007, at 4:29:12
If I dont get my sleep, it just gets the entire day started off wrong, and pretty much ruins it. I have got to get my sleep. It's an escape. If you cant get an escape during sleep, you sure as heck cant get it during the daytime when awake. I would advise trying Seroquel, which I have found to be a miracle for insomnia, in as little as 25mg. Please keep us updated on your situation. We care, Michael
Posted by linkadge on March 30, 2007, at 14:00:20
In reply to Re: If I dont get my sleep, it ruins ..., posted by UgottaHaveHope on March 30, 2007, at 9:59:15
Lack of sleep makes me seriously suicidal.
Linkadge
Posted by Phillipa on March 30, 2007, at 19:17:33
In reply to Re: If I dont get my sleep, it ruins ..., posted by linkadge on March 30, 2007, at 14:00:20
Lurpsie did you go to the hospital or are you home? Please stay safe. Love Phillipa
Posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on April 3, 2007, at 14:29:50
In reply to Re: *trigger* » Honore, posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on March 30, 2007, at 9:08:29
and I'm exhausted.
I'll post more later.my meds are still a work in progress. I'll keep you all posted, if you care to read.
yours,
-Ll
Posted by Phillipa on April 3, 2007, at 19:59:54
In reply to I did go to the hospital, but I'm out now » Llurpsie_Noodle, posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on April 3, 2007, at 14:29:50
Lurpsie please do I can't wait to hear your story. Love Phillipa
Posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on April 3, 2007, at 20:52:43
In reply to Re: I did go to the hospital, but I'm out now » Llurpsie_Noodle, posted by Phillipa on April 3, 2007, at 19:59:54
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070324/msgs/746579.html
my main medication changes were that I'm still withdrawing from cymbalta. I have pretty extreme dizziness, and I've also got the brain shocks when I shift my eyes too much. makes reading uncofmfortable to say the least.docs added wellbutrin 150 extended release to the mix. funny how one doc who added that and another doc said it would be bad for my panic attacks.
personally I haven't noticed anything regarding wellbutrin effects.
I hope it makes my butrin feel well again, or something like that.
sex might be nice too. or losing a few pounds of blubb.
well I'll let you know what me and my real pdoc decide tomorrow. I think he gets the big picture and the folks in the hospital were just too harried to understand or think about anything beyond getting me out of crisis mode.
best,
Ll
Posted by Phillipa on April 3, 2007, at 21:49:43
In reply to Re: I did go to the hospital, but I'm out now » Phillipa, posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on April 3, 2007, at 20:52:43
Lurpsie I was afraid of that having worked in psych in a hospital but that was ll years ago. I'd heard it's gotten worse. Sicker patients and more paperwork and short staffed. Love Phillipa
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