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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 23 of 23. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by jealibeanz on June 9, 2006, at 9:23:36
I finally have an appointment which I am going to! I need to decide if I want to being up the depression, and ask about anxiety. I currently have Xanax and am unsure if he wants to refill it. I'm not even sure if I want to to it long term. I do know that I don't want an SSRI though! Aghhh.... gotta work up some courage!!!!
Posted by lymom3 on June 9, 2006, at 9:32:05
In reply to Doctor Tomorrow!!!, posted by jealibeanz on June 9, 2006, at 9:23:36
I wondered how you've been doing. Good luck. Let us know what you end up with!!
Posted by honeybee on June 9, 2006, at 16:17:32
In reply to Doctor Tomorrow!!!, posted by jealibeanz on June 9, 2006, at 9:23:36
Good luck! Ask lots of questions! Don't be quiet.
Posted by Phillipa on June 9, 2006, at 22:05:27
In reply to Re: Doctor Tomorrow!!!, posted by honeybee on June 9, 2006, at 16:17:32
Any idea what you want to try? Love Phillipa
Posted by heaven help me on June 10, 2006, at 10:36:43
In reply to Re: Doctor Tomorrow!!!, posted by Phillipa on June 9, 2006, at 22:05:27
so, how did it go???
blessings
mary
Posted by jealibeanz on June 10, 2006, at 19:36:34
In reply to Re: Doctor Tomorrow!!!, posted by Phillipa on June 9, 2006, at 22:05:27
I just got Xanax... too difficult to mention the depression. My doc is the most positive person I've ever met. He was asking me about Physician Assistant school, which I enjoy, and was sooo excited for me!!! Although I have a history of depression, it would have been a 180 in the conversation. It's taken me months to get the courage to go for anxiety. At least I know that's treatable with the Xanax.
The depression? Well... I'm not entirely comfortable with saying, "I'm depressed, but I don't want to take the drugs you're going to give me, so pretend you didn't hear that." That could very well happen. I don't want to suggest EMSAM because he may be afraid of it since it's new. Although MAOI's are thought of are "dangerous" I bet he'd be willing to give me something like Nardil since he would trust me to adhear to restrictions and monitor my health. I of course wouldn't want Nardil because it's known to cause weight gain.
He was very willing to give me the Xanax and happy that it was helping, saying that it was the lowest dosage and that it could go up if necessary. He was hopeful that maybe I could one day go off it! Yayy!!! Hahaha... I cheerfully agreed.. while in my head I was thinking hellll no... not any time soon at least!
He said there was no reason for me to drive the 3 hours from school every month and that I could call for refills. So, I don't have a recheck appointment or anything. At least I do have my Xanax though, and I can probably ask to increase a little. Right now I have 3x .25 mg. He's right. That barely gets me by. But it does get me by.
I'm happy that I have such a caring and understanding doctor. My only concern is, and always has been, that my depressions are recurrent. Sure, I can get through this. But it will always come back. Most likely once a year or so. The Xanax allows me to cover it up with a huge happy attitude and big smile. But it doesn't cover up the urge to cry for no reason...
P.S. Did you know that 10% of Americans are on antidepressants? I was pretty shocked at that number. Good to know I'm not alone in this battle.
Posted by heaven help me on June 10, 2006, at 20:18:36
In reply to Re: Doctor Tomorrow!!!, posted by jealibeanz on June 10, 2006, at 19:36:34
Yeah! Sounds like you found a *good* Dr. That is such a blessing. I think that WAY more than 10% of Americans are on ADs too...statistics, who can say? I do know for sure YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
blessings
mary
Posted by jealibeanz on June 10, 2006, at 20:45:06
In reply to Re: Doctor Tomorrow!!!, posted by heaven help me on June 10, 2006, at 20:18:36
My only hope of trying to at least get myself into the office for some reason is that I need a physical by the end of August. I have a 2 week break starting August 12. However, I'm not even sure that the doctors do physicals. I'd probably be given to my PA, who I like, but, that's starting a new relationship once again. Trying to slip in the depression is tough.
He's the last one who treated me for depression. I almost feels like it's not chemical depression since I don't repsond (or more appropriately, don't WANT to give adequate trials to enough because of side effects) to SSRI/SSNRI's. When I took myself off Effexor he said I could try Cymbalta, or another SSRI but I probably would like it. I'm sure he's right about that. He's not likely to be aggressive with medication (or approve of the fact that I'm now taking daily Xanax!).
Aghhh! How do any of you all work up the courage to approach docs about depression? Every time feels like the first time. If there's a lapse, it really seems like it. I want them to actually prompt me with... are you depressed right now??? But as I'm learning in school... that's not how it works. Actually, I will never be dianosed by someone who's speaking with me at a 15 minute appointment for any issue because my natural tendency is to be overly polite, friendly, well-groomed, attentive, talkative, confident, ect. Welllll above the norm. I try to smile and make other happy and comfortable and seem perfect. Haha, I'm more of a bum in real life! Not always so perfect looking or acting. For some reason I do this at interviews and doctor appointments and with people of authority. I scream success, not depressed!
Posted by heaven help me on June 11, 2006, at 15:37:12
In reply to Re: Doctor Tomorrow!!!, posted by jealibeanz on June 10, 2006, at 20:45:06
I screamed success too. In fact, I never even considered that I was depressed as I was screaming "success!" at myself too. What happened was that I burned myself out totally, and I mean TOTALLY!!!! I was to the point where I did NOT sleep. When I went to bed I would be exhausted and lie there knowing I needed to sleep but I would never actually *go* to sleep. I would sort of drift off into a dream but wake in an instant to any noise or peep, or thought. This went on for an entire year until I was so spent I thought I'd die and so I went to see a PA and told him all about my sleep troubles and HE said "you're depressed" and began to prescribe meds for it. I was so shocked, it made me cry (rememebr me? SUCCESS!) ANyway, I never suggested the idea myself, in fact, I was so suprised he said that and I did not beleive him but I was desparate for sleep so I gave into the meds (one was a sleep enhancer, the other AD). Looonnng story hopefully not too much longer, we did the med dance for a few years until we settled on my current regime and diagnosis and now, and not UNTIL now, I can see that I really WAS depressed (Bipolar *soft*, actually). So, it was really HIM telling ME, not Me telling Him. So, maybe just an accurate list of your symptoms is enough to convince him for the right meds? Sorry too, if I am totally off track here, long posts tend to get me confused! hope I am making sense
blessings
mary
Posted by jealibeanz on June 11, 2006, at 17:12:01
In reply to Re: Doctor Tomorrow!!!, posted by heaven help me on June 11, 2006, at 15:37:12
I think one of my problems at this point is that I'm afraid of trying medications. I'm not sure what my doctor's reaction would be if I told him I'm depressed but didn't want an SSRI. I don't know the next line of action in his practice, since everyone is different. I've been walking around on the verge of tears every day for two months. That's obviously not a good thing. It's also hard to just "snap out of it" when under large amounts of stress. Part of me would feel better if I switch careers. I always feel that medical practitioners need to be perfect (not true of course). Although, I would not be happy because I switched career paths, I just worry about my future in medicine.
Posted by heaven help me on June 12, 2006, at 21:54:55
In reply to Re: Doctor Tomorrow!!!, posted by jealibeanz on June 11, 2006, at 17:12:01
I was terrified of trying meds....and I therefore waitied toolong to do it and was in darn bad shape before I did. Granted, they are not easy to come by the right dosages and combos but they are WORTH the journey. Just see it as such...tell your Dr. you've been on the verge of crying for weeks, give him all the information you can (assuming you trust him) and let him help you decide what to try (if anything). I was a severe NO MEDS FOR ME patient who now wishes I'd have gone in earlier and recovered more of my life past than I had. Keep us posted. There are lots of people here who have been through it all. It's a great support system. If you have a Dr. you trust, thats most of the battle there
blessings
mary
Posted by jealibeanz on June 13, 2006, at 1:25:17
In reply to Re: Doctor Tomorrow!!!, posted by heaven help me on June 12, 2006, at 21:54:55
At my school we constantly have professors and past students asking how we are doing. They know it is a tough time. Right now, it's only about half time. Come August, our course load doubles and becomes more complex. I know the depression rate of medical students is very high. So, for a person who is prone to depression, espessially when under stress, anxiety, lacj of sleep, and during the fall/winter... I have no hope for myself. I don't know if my depression means weakness of personality, or just contributues to that feeling, but I certainly feel like I've made a terrible mistake at this point.
Posted by heaven help me on June 13, 2006, at 16:49:57
In reply to Re: Doctor Tomorrow!!!, posted by jealibeanz on June 13, 2006, at 1:25:17
I have no hope for myself.
There IS hope, there is always hope...Were it not for my hope I would be dead. It's spiritual and it is in the person Of Christ and what He does in my life. If you want to hear more, hear my story, ask questions, just babble mail me.
I don't know if my depression means weakness of personality, or just contributues to that feeling, but I certainly feel like I've made a terrible mistake at this point.
What is the mistake you feel like you've made? School? talking about depression? Trying the Xanax? What is the mistake?...Let's keep talking...
blessings
mary
Posted by pulse on June 13, 2006, at 19:02:57
In reply to Re: Doctor Tomorrow!!!, posted by jealibeanz on June 13, 2006, at 1:25:17
my grandfather's oldest brother, a doctor, committed suicide, death certificate read 'hunting accident' - a FAR too common euphemism back in those long ago days - and later; maybe even to this day. this was my mom's side of family, which is full of depressives with anxiety, but no personality disorder's, unlike my dad's side. so, yes, although there is much pressure in med school & in medical practice to cause some depression, i personally believe that many doctors have genetically-based depression, to begin with. lots of alcoholism to self-medicate that, too. here, there IS hope using antidepressants, ECTs, rTMS (when FDA approves it), and, already, vagus nerve stimulation implants. so, there are many options.
btw, just fyi: many in the caregiving and helping professions DO instead have personality disorders - only. these fields are near the top of the list of careers, to which they seem to gravitate.
for only borderline pd - there is hope for the few highly committed enough to work on their issues for many years, and often for 3 sessions/week, for the first 2 yrs. it's called dialectical behavioral therapy - marsha linehan. meds - the quick fix - don't fix much - if anything...for the very many bpds i've known. (i well realize others here will disagree).
pulse
Posted by jealibeanz on June 13, 2006, at 19:40:00
In reply to Re: Doctor Tomorrow!!! » jealibeanz, posted by pulse on June 13, 2006, at 19:02:57
How do you differentiate a personality disorder vs. a mental disorder or genetic depression/anxiety? What is borderline?
Posted by jealibeanz on June 13, 2006, at 19:50:20
In reply to Re: Doctor Tomorrow!!! » jealibeanz, posted by heaven help me on June 13, 2006, at 16:49:57
Mary... for some reason I can't send babble mail!
Posted by heaven help me on June 13, 2006, at 21:53:40
In reply to Re: Doctor Tomorrow!!!, posted by jealibeanz on June 13, 2006, at 19:50:20
> Mary... for some reason I can't send babble mail!
Then you ask me right here(questions? stories?, etc), and we will correspond right here. I'll share whatever you want to know. There IS hope. And God is NOT impractical. I beleive, that just as Pulse says "there IS hope using antidepressants, ECTs, rTMS (when FDA approves it), and, already, vagus nerve stimulation implants. so, there are many options" That God has and DOES give us many options. So keep trying out the options He sets before you and refuse to be hopeless!
As for Borderline vs. Bipolar or other disorders that is WAY out of my knowledge bank. I have a sister who the Dr.s consider Borderline. They have said some of the classic symptoms are that the person does not believe they are ill, that they are VERY manipulative and that when they crash, they try to take others around them down with them. But, coming from me, thats kind of like saying "I know someone who knows someone who knows someone..." I don't REALLY know anything for sure about BPD. I am SURE there are some here on the board who do...ANYONE????
Hang in there Jealibeanz. Hang on. Keep talking...
blessigns
mary
Posted by pulse on June 14, 2006, at 8:04:07
In reply to Re: Doctor Tomorrow!!!, posted by jealibeanz on June 13, 2006, at 19:40:00
> How do you differentiate a personality disorder vs. a mental disorder or genetic depression/anxiety? What is borderline?
the foremost differentiation is that personality disorders are behavioral disorders. i'll even go 'broader' than i normally do, and (today only!) call them mental disorders.
in contrast, the depression types, biploar, the anxiety types, and schizophrenia and schizo-affective are mental ILLNESSES - not simply disorders. pdocs have told me this is said mainly because they are treated with medications, and the other options for hope, that i've already stated. although some do for some reason dislike the word "illness," i don't see that as a stigma - one iota! -, but as an accurate & necessary term.
please see heaven help me's post - just above - re: borderline pd. all very good. she's got it down!
i would only add that the rage attacks, leading all the way up to attempted or accomplished murder/s that borderlines can, and often, do have...are a significant problem for society, that needs addressing - by our COURTS - and quickly!
pulse
Posted by pulse on June 14, 2006, at 8:30:21
In reply to Re: Doctor Tomorrow!!! » jealibeanz, posted by pulse on June 14, 2006, at 8:04:07
forgot to add that stalking is done by stats. of 1/3 to 2/3 borderlines. also 90+ % of false reporting of child abuse by male partner in custody cases.
if targeted as their victim/ obsession, please do not get a restraining order; get a stalking order - if available in your state. get a lawyer who is knowlegeable in this - although they may well be VERY hard to find.
high functioning bpds can fool the courts VERY often & easily; unfortunately, as most bpds are women (i think this is under-reported/ under-diagnosed in men), the great usa is still of the opinion that woman can't do serious violence. nothing could be further from the truth.
i so wish we would get up to speed re: this - as with the UK. they are trying - don't know if they got it passed yet - to incarcerate BEFORE serious threat, damage, or death to other's has already happened.
i know i'll be seen as fanatical and/or wrong by some, perhaps many, here, but, then, they've likely never been seconds from death - due to the wholly PREMEDITATED (not some quasi-psychosis/ 'clocking-out'/ 'can't help myself '...yada yada) attack upon their person by a borderline woman, as i have been.
pulse
Posted by heaven help me on June 14, 2006, at 10:19:40
In reply to Re: Doctor Tomorrow!!!, posted by pulse on June 14, 2006, at 8:30:21
Hi,
My sister, we are pretty sure, IS Borderline with 4 small kids caught in the mess. She CONTINUOUSLY beats the court system as well and snows pdocs. She skims along the bottom but never gets caught. We are all watching this and trying to keep our distnace as we literraly fear for our own lives but the greatest PAIN is in seeing her children caught. Do you know of anything that can be done to help THEM? I think calling Social Services would only make my sister into a better liar. Any thoughts?
blessings
mary
Posted by pulse on June 14, 2006, at 11:59:04
In reply to Re: Doctor Tomorrow!!! » pulse, posted by heaven help me on June 14, 2006, at 10:19:40
i'm a big fan of andrew vachss, attorney only for kids, and, also, a very successful author of 'neo' noir crime books, often the subject of which is child abuse. not for the faint of heart, but i have most of his entire series.
i do disagree with him on one thing that he's adamant about: that childrens' services' only problems are lack of funding and poor salaries. imo, the biggest problem is that far more often than not, the people (most often women) who are drawn to this helping profession are child abuse victims themselves. as such, they can't see the exception to the rules that:
1) sometimes it's the man who is being abused by the wife.
2) the wife is abusing the kids, sometimes even sexually.so, from day one in their investigations, they go in quite biased.
more succinctly, i agree that they would make your sister an even better liar, in so much as they would believe her side of any story.
i have lots of questions, but, unfortuntely, no answers to these dilemnas.
so sorry you are going through this. i know how scary it can be!
pulse
Posted by heaven help me on June 14, 2006, at 16:16:47
In reply to Re: Doctor Tomorrow!!! » heaven help me, posted by pulse on June 14, 2006, at 11:59:04
Uhg. It makes me sick to see kids caught in the middle of this. I pray like mad every day that they will be safe. Maybe looking into them getting their own attorney would be an idea. I am just hoping that the evidentiary hearing coming up for my sister will reveal enough to alert the system that things are NOT good!! Thanks for your encouragement
blessings
mary
Posted by jealibeanz on June 19, 2006, at 4:24:27
In reply to Re: Doctor Tomorrow!!!, posted by heaven help me on June 14, 2006, at 16:16:47
Well... another update... I've got a physical with my doc (for PA school) in two months. I suppose I could somehow work up the courage to bring up depression, or the fact that I may not continue with school (he'd be very concerned and upset), which would start a conversation. I go to sleep every night and think I can't do this another day. I just don't care. Yet, I keep going. I feel that it's too inportant of a career I'll be working in to have this attitude, especially since I know my depression can get worse. At least I have the energy and motivation to get out of bed, go to school, and act happy. There have times when I've basically dropped out of life.
I wonder if by August EMSAM would be popular enough that he'd think of it... who knows. Until then, I'll continue taking my Xanax, trying to learn as much as possible, acting super enthusiastic, and happy (even though it's as fake as can be!!!). Eventually, the act will get old and I'll probably crash. But, I'm trying to at least set up a good life and appear happy til I get things straight. Acting like the depressed girl never made me or anyone else happy. So that's no longer the outside picture. It's just the inside picture.
This is the end of the thread.
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