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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by willyee on January 15, 2006, at 18:09:20
I due to my own stupidty and fear was using ritalin semi recently in ways i should not have,and prob should not have had it period with parnate.But im fighting for my life,and i guess i lost this one big time.
Anyway after four days straight no sleep,with every sedative simply making me higher,i became maniac,deliusonal,couldent sit down,looked very scary in my eyes,rather than torture my family since i personaly wasnt scared and knew id simply chrash soon i instead went to the ER.
What happened there........well i was iv ed huge doses of ativan and knocked out.When i awaaoke i felt like i always do after a bad episode,thining i was heading out to my parents outside i WAS WRONG,DEAD WRONG.
Two police men were waiting for me to wake to take me to the ward.I freaked the f- out.Nevertheless i went and of course the next day apeared in court? and was let out.
But this is what i dont understand,my mom thinks i should be in there cause like prob a lot of people unfamiliar they hear HOSPITAL......
IT IS NOT A HOSPITAL,there are no medical equipment what so ever there,there is not a single md or white coat there,what is there are tons of very young counslers who in my case seemed very cocky and rude,there is a lot of patients there zombied out,and there is a lot of treatment to u that is less then nice.
Luckly i was fine cause i had my medication fine enough tomake sure the young staff wasnt gonna push me around,when they have someone not doped up enough to argue logicaly with them they stutter.
I prob had words with half of them,upon yelling at me when i asked questions being how i was never told policys such as smoke break times etc.
Anyway a regualr p doc comes in for 5 min and thats it,thats the most u get,then like the wonderful person who mentioned u are then left to rot all day.I have specifics to this story that i think people would get a kick out of but ill keep it simple,i dont see this place as a HOSPITAL.
The only people i see who should be in here are people who are in a real threat of hurting themselves,and even then they should be treated,not left to rot.
Ugh ill say this,im not scared of much,my parents are amzed at this,i had my appendex out and joked with everyone,ill takes shots,whatever ill go to ER in a flash,but i am truly petrafied of that place,they did not want me to leave and i felt i was fighting for my life to get out.
Posted by Phillipa on January 15, 2006, at 19:18:59
In reply to About the hospital thread...., posted by willyee on January 15, 2006, at 18:09:20
Hey willyee I know the feeling and I have a story for you. Babblemail me or E-mail me. Don't think you have my new E=mail. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by shasling on January 15, 2006, at 19:22:59
In reply to About the hospital thread...., posted by willyee on January 15, 2006, at 18:09:20
I'm glad you made it out. And I KNOW you aren't lying about that - I had a boyfriend who worked as a counselor in the jail for a while and it was just like you said. Good thing you didn't need meds cause its like an act of God to get them there. Any time you enter a system like that expect to be much smaller and less important than you are in real life.
I'm really glad you are okay, but I'd vote for you to not to use chemicals in ways unintended - our chemistry is already so screwed up. I had a very intense and long relationship with a similar substance back in the 80's and came away with a seizure disorder I didn't go in with. I can't believe I'm that unusual, so be aware your chemistry can still be changed for the worse if you aren't careful about what you feed it.
Nuff preaching. I'm a mom of someone your age so sometimes I have to caretake : )
Glad you are okay. Please take good care of yourself.
Suzie
Posted by linkadge on January 15, 2006, at 19:39:30
In reply to Re: About the hospital thread...., posted by shasling on January 15, 2006, at 19:22:59
You're right. I went to the hospital, and it was not much of a place to get better.
I just lied and said I was fine, (even though I wasn't), just to get out.
It's sad, cause I feel like I don't have anywhere to go now, if I really feel like crap.
Take care, do whats best for you.
Linkadge
Posted by willyee on January 15, 2006, at 19:58:32
In reply to Re: About the hospital thread...., posted by shasling on January 15, 2006, at 19:22:59
I am joked by close friends as Dr Bill,cause unlike us here the average person knows nodda,so when u mention ahy chemicals thats genuis to them.
Anyway im not proud of knowing as much as i do,id rather have that knowledage in another field,but i just was not getting the answers from the "professionals" i was in pain and i wanted to know why,what was is happening to my brain,i no docter would address that.
Its a catch 22 cause when u do learn a fair amount,well at least in my case,u tend to get a little cocky and dabble in self medication.I cant say i regret doing it,before i did i was literaly a blank page,i was heading towards suicide and had a med draw with all types of meds that made me feel insane.
When i did start self medicating,with a professional aside me,i began to get much better,yess i still have it,but i have achieved many things i know i never would have had i left it to the industry.
When ur in charge of a project mistakes are a given it will happen,and well unfrotunatly this project doesent allow much room for mistaks without possably deadly consequenses.And using ritalin was a bad move by me.
My mother wont let me do it and has tossed away vitamin b6 etc not caring what it was,in her mind if a doc scripts it,its good,shell block me from using kava yet feel it fine to take klonopin 4 a day as one doc had it and e a zombie,she doesent know this disease is nothing but trial and error for patient and docter.
I do what i do cause im prepared to die in the midst,i will not,refuse to put my gloves down and live in absolute pain and misery,without throwing a few punches back in my own defense.So i am at war,i try to be as safe as possable come here ask questions,visit places like remedy find,consult with my doc a lil bit,but i understand i play a deadly game and like with ritalin i can end up dead or a veggie.
But what kinda life is worth living with depression,none,so to me its worth the risk of fighting with no rules,depression is merciless and unrelentless ,so to me any working treatment willl be the very painstaking t find.
Ok im preaching,but my soul is scarred for life,i lost my entire 20`s to this disease,and unlike a broken leg where u can get ur mind off it with a book or pals,u cant escape ur mind the very thing in pain,this makes it crucuial that i fight it as hard as it fights me.LOL being a mom i can imagine u just biting ur tongue to yell at me for being reckless at times,sometimes i know better but im only human.
My heart and every ounce of empthy goes out to anyone who knows the true pain of CLINICAL mental disorder.We are scarred inside for life,but we hope for a future regardless.
Posted by willyee on January 15, 2006, at 20:01:06
In reply to Re: About the hospital thread.... » willyee, posted by Phillipa on January 15, 2006, at 19:18:59
Right now i have 3 emails im currently trying to clean up and put in order,due to my excessive time on myspace,im kinda hesistant to open a new mail giving me a new place to need to check when i come online......u know my mail,brklyn234@yahoo.com this is my primary email and the fastest way to get t o me its main thing i check first.
Posted by shasling on January 15, 2006, at 20:49:44
In reply to Re: About the hospital thread...., posted by willyee on January 15, 2006, at 19:58:32
Okay, you :)
>I am joked by close friends as Dr Bill,cause unlike us here the average person knows nodda,so when u mention ahy chemicals thats genuis to them.
>
> Anyway im not proud of knowing as much as i do,id rather have that knowledage in another field,but i just was not getting the answers from the "professionals" i was in pain and i wanted to know why,what was is happening to my brain,i no docter would address that.* Um, maybe I'm crazy, but many of us through desperation, research and sharing of the knowledge here know more than many many docs. I wish mine would check this out; there is SO much here for them to learn. Nobody has as much motivation to research this condition as we do...
> Its a catch 22 cause when u do learn a fair amount,well at least in my case,u tend to get a little cocky and dabble in self medication.I cant say i regret doing it,before i did i was literaly a blank page,i was heading towards suicide and had a med draw with all types of meds that made me feel insane.
>
>
> When i did start self medicating,with a professional aside me,i began to get much better,yess i still have it,but i have achieved many things i know i never would have had i left it to the industry.* True. Had I sat around and waited any longer for a 'professional' to fix me I wouldn't have had at least the few good days I've been having. Waited for three decades for the pro to do the job right; it was ONLY by finding you all that I was able to trial/error put something together that is helping. Having a good doc to help helps, but sometimes you gotta just try something, I understand that. Not scloding you, just expressing my concern. Always with the knowledge that we all will do what we have to do and the respect that only you have to deal with your experiences.
>
> When ur in charge of a project mistakes are a given it will happen,and well unfrotunatly this project doesent allow much room for mistaks without possably deadly consequenses.And using ritalin was a bad move by me.
>
> My mother wont let me do it and has tossed away vitamin b6 etc not caring what it was,in her mind if a doc scripts it,its good,shell block me from using kava yet feel it fine to take klonopin 4 a day as one doc had it and e a zombie,she doesent know this disease is nothing but trial and error for patient and docter.* Moms... go figure, huh? : ) Funny line about the kava and klonopin...
>
> I do what i do cause im prepared to die in the midst,i will not,refuse to put my gloves down and live in absolute pain and misery,without throwing a few punches back in my own defense.* Again, I understand and have been there. In many ways was already dead so whats the harm in trying SOMETHING???
>
> So i am at war,i try to be as safe as possable come here ask questions,visit places like remedy find,consult with my doc a lil bit,but i understand i play a deadly game and like with ritalin i can end up dead or a veggie.>
> But what kinda life is worth living with depression,none,so to me its worth the risk of fighting with no rules,depression is merciless and unrelentless ,so to me any working treatment willl be the very painstaking t find.* I forget, from reading of the experiences of so many: has anything ever worked for you? >
>
> Ok im preaching,but my soul is scarred for life,i lost my entire 20`s to this disease,and unlike a broken leg where u can get ur mind off it with a book or pals,u cant escape ur mind the very thing in pain,this makes it crucuial that i fight it as hard as it fights me.* Agreed, and respected.
>
> LOL being a mom i can imagine u just biting ur tongue to yell at me for being reckless at times,sometimes i know better but im only human.* Not at all. I am unfortunate enough to know where you are coming from.
>
> My heart and every ounce of empthy goes out to anyone who knows the true pain of CLINICAL mental disorder.We are scarred inside for life, but we hope for a future regardless.Yes, we do. And I feel confident that you will have yours. Keep looking.
Take care,
Suzie
Posted by blueberry on January 16, 2006, at 6:07:25
In reply to About the hospital thread...., posted by willyee on January 15, 2006, at 18:09:20
I haven't stayed in the hospital, but have gone to the emergency room twice.
The first time was a panic attack. The physician was really good, prescribed me xanax, and I had only good things to say about that visit.
The second time was a severe crying dark scary depression. As soon as I sat down at the registrars desk, they ushered me quickly to a psychiatric waiting room where I had two uniformed guards to keep me there. Doctors, nurses, and a crisis intervention counselor were nice but not helpful. They would not prescribe any meds for me. They offered me a hospital stay. I refused. All I wanted was a presciption.
They were nice and apologetic for not being of much help. It is kind of scary knowing that the hospital is not the lifeline you would think it is.
Posted by James K on January 16, 2006, at 9:55:23
In reply to Re: About the hospital thread...., posted by blueberry on January 16, 2006, at 6:07:25
I/ve posted some of my feelings about the state of hospitals on the psych board, but I wanted to address the medication situation going on lately.
When I was in this summer the psychiatrist would see me for about 3 minutes each day and each time he increased my meds.I left there taking Welbutrin, Lamictal, Risperdal, Seroquel, clonodine, and antabuse.
I felt high, and not in a good way. Meanwhile they cold turkeyed me of clonazepam at the same time. The tried to give six oscal (calcium) instead of Asacol (my ulcerative colitis med) when I had to bring my own bottle in the first place. I pointed out this was dangerous incompetence and they called and complained to my wife.
I took all their damn meds so they would let me out, spent 100s of dollars with insurance on scripts then tapered off everything but welbutrin, lamictal and clonazepam. I'll never take an atypical ap again. or go into hospital.
I think I just worked myself up! (smiley face)
James K
Posted by willyee on January 16, 2006, at 11:37:50
In reply to hospital and psych meds, posted by James K on January 16, 2006, at 9:55:23
Now this is what the board is all about........fianly total agreement,psyh hospitals are anything BUT A HOSPITAL.
I dont fear death yet i fear being on the wrong end of those cold locking doors of a "hospital"
Posted by ed_uk on January 16, 2006, at 14:05:27
In reply to Re: About the hospital thread...., posted by willyee on January 15, 2006, at 19:58:32
I was once on a psych ward. It was a bit like a nursing home (for elderly people) but everyone was young.
Ed
This is the end of the thread.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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