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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rayww on January 7, 2003, at 14:04:49
A question for bipolars or other swingers, how do you feel when someone expects or tries to make you do something you are not in the mood to do?
Do you feel like a fish out of water? Or like you are reading a book that is written in a different language?
If you force yourself to do it, does it make you crash after? Are you able to work your way through it comfortably, or do you just put it off till you're on the right "swing"?
I changed the word, "mood" to "mode" years ago.
Posted by Nala on January 7, 2003, at 16:27:26
In reply to a question about moods, posted by rayww on January 7, 2003, at 14:04:49
BPII here. I typically avoid the situation if at all possible. Or procrastinate until I'm ready to perform the dreaded task. Sometimes I just call in sick!
Posted by Kar on January 7, 2003, at 16:42:36
In reply to a question about moods, posted by rayww on January 7, 2003, at 14:04:49
>Fish outta watta for me.
>
If you force yourself to do it, does it make you crash after?
> No, it doesn't trigger a crash but magnifies my feelings of not belonging and not being myself. I'm usually social and talkative. When I feel lousy, it's a struggle just to make small talk. I've been trying really hard lately to keep myslef from canceling on people or making excuses (especially for social gathering-type things). It's sooo hard! Most of my good buddies and family understand if I need to cancel, but i don't *want* them to understand...I'm tired of everyone always having to excuse me, you know?Depending on the situation, I may put it off until i feel better. "Working my way through it" is never comfortable but it does give me a sense of pride for weathering it. As I said, it depends totally on the situation...
Are you thinking of something in particular that you want to put off until you're in the good "mode" (I'm gonna use that!)?
K
Posted by rayww on January 8, 2003, at 8:40:41
In reply to Mode stabilizers, posted by Kar on January 7, 2003, at 16:42:36
>> > No, it doesn't trigger a crash but magnifies my feelings of not belonging and not being myself. I'm usually social and talkative. When I feel lousy, it's a struggle just to make small talk. I've been trying really hard lately to keep myslef from canceling on people or making excuses (especially for social gathering-type things). It's sooo hard! Most of my good buddies and family understand if I need to cancel, but i don't *want* them to understand...I'm tired of everyone always having to excuse me, you know?
>That explains a lot of what i have felt too.
> Depending on the situation, I may put it off until i feel better. "Working my way through it" is never comfortable but it does give me a sense of pride for weathering it. As I said, it depends totally on the situation...
>
> Are you thinking of something in particular that you want to put off until you're in the good "mode" (I'm gonna use that!)?
>
No, I'm remembering the past- before I was diagnosed bipolar. And I'm comparing it to the present on EMPower, and also how I felt on Epival and Topomax.On mode stabelizers I only did what I had to for survival. Before diagnosis I lived my modes, and made hay in each one at the moment of sunshine. I played them very well, like a pianist at the piano, and accomplished a lot more than I do now on EmPower. No, I "thought" I was accomplishing more but actually I accomplished less in all the reality areas.
On EmPower I'm not sure if I'm lazy. I'm struggling to keep moving without waiting for the mode. I can create a plan and set a goal and move through it without pain, but when I sit back and wait for the mode to strike, I can sit for a long time. I survived a very busy Christmas, managed a loss in the middle of it, and kept on going.I decreased my dosage too low when the company changed the density of the pill a month ago. Now that I've upped it I'm seeing the light again.
But, my head still waits for the modes before my brain gives its approval to begin anything. If I can forget about the mode and just work with my plan, I do all right.
It's such a simple plan, and I feel good about myself when I do it. So, why can't/don't/won't I do it? Maybe my basic nature is to be lazy. Maybe I am addicted to the computer and would "rather" be here writing, as though it is a choice that cancells out responsibility.
Maybe today will be the break-through day, and I'm just being impatient with myself. Yes, I'll take that one.
This is the end of the thread.
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