Shown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Vesper on March 15, 2000, at 23:16:46
Things are getting unstable again for me rapidly. How do I know when to stay away and avoid a repeat of my recent embarrassing episode of idiocy and near self-destruction?
Should I just leave now?
What do you all think?
I can't seem to see myself clearly, so i need feedback as to whether I am just a burden here or what.
Thank you
Vesper
Posted by Cam W. on March 15, 2000, at 23:51:02
In reply to When To Stay Away From Psychobabble land..., posted by Vesper on March 15, 2000, at 23:16:46
Vesper - You are not a burden here, but many of us are unstable, like you. When you start decompensating, so do we. Please, as we have said before, "CALL YOUR DOCTOR" or "GO TO THE HOSPITAL." We cannot 'fix' you long distance. For all of our sakes, "PLEASE GET HELP NOW" and post again once you are stabilized. - Cam W.
Posted by bob on March 16, 2000, at 19:55:03
In reply to Re: When To Stay Away From Psychobabble land..., posted by Cam W. on March 15, 2000, at 23:51:02
Like I said before, V, joke'em.
If readers think what you have to say when you're reaching out for help here or just venting some radioactive steam is garbage, then they can stop reading it. Joke'em.
You think those of us who care here would rather you keep it all to yourself until you collapse into some black hole somewhere? With all the problems *WE* have, do you really think what you have to say should be cause for embarassment? We've all been through some pretty demeaning shit -- so don't bother hanging your head around here. Psycho-babble means never having to say your sorry.
Don't make the mistake of thinking that just because we can offer a kind word or a bit of advice that we currently have it all together. Well, maybe some, but not me. Half or better of the things I say to others are things I need to hear myself.
Chew all the bandwidth you want, man. If it keeps you afloat and connected, it's more than worth it.
bob
Posted by Barbara on March 16, 2000, at 20:15:35
In reply to When **NOT** To Stay Away From Babble land..., posted by bob on March 16, 2000, at 19:55:03
> Like I said before, V, joke'em.
>
> >
> Chew all the bandwidth you want, man. If it keeps you afloat and connected, it's more than worth it.
>
> bobVesper:
Don't stay away when you need this the most. Forget the jerks. You never have to deal with them real time anyway. Just let it all hang out. If they can't take it, they can find another list. If those of us who read and post here cannot be compassionate to one another, then something is awry. More than awry. I, for one, offer to come and look for you every day and I will answer. We are, after all, brothers and sisters to each other.
Posted by bob on March 16, 2000, at 20:28:10
In reply to Re: When **NOT** To Stay Away From Babble land..., posted by Barbara on March 16, 2000, at 20:15:35
One other note, V.
If you want or need to stay away for yourself, do so. I disappeared recently for about two months, but Noa and DebR kept an email lifeline out to me, along with an occasional visit from Phil and a few others. But I stayed away because there was too much in my face at the time and I just couldn't hack the time commitment this board can draw.
Just don't stay away thinking you're doing **US** some kind of favor. If that's the case, you aren't. Quite the opposite. If you want to do us a favor, stick around. Like anyone else here, you give as much or more than you take.
bob
Posted by Mark H. on March 16, 2000, at 23:40:11
In reply to Re: When **NOT** To Stay Away From Babble land..., posted by bob on March 16, 2000, at 20:28:10
Vesper, I don't know you well yet, but I sure agree with Bob and the others that your presence and participation add positive value to the forum.
I've wanted to ask you your gender and age, if you don't mind saying. (If you do mind, please just ignore the question.)
Please stay if you can.
Posted by Vesper on March 17, 2000, at 0:23:11
In reply to Re: When **NOT** To Stay Away From Babble land..., posted by Mark H. on March 16, 2000, at 23:40:11
> Vesper, I don't know you well yet, but I sure agree with Bob and the others that your presence and participation add positive value to the forum.
>
> I've wanted to ask you your gender and age, if you don't mind saying. (If you do mind, please just ignore the question.)
>
> Please stay if you can.
I am either a lesbian female or a very strange male, depending on one's point of view.
Figure that one out, if you can.
I'm dissociating a lot and feeling very strange...It has been a couple of weeks since I stopped wellbutrin SR and a week or so since I stopped neurontin, and a week of taking .5mg klonopin per day as opposed to one...I wonder how much of what I am experiencing is a result of that or my underlying psych. problems...I guess I will have to wait until my brain is completely rid of the influence of meds, or the withdrawal effects....??
Thank you those who asked me to stick around...Please tell me if I begin to...well, be unwelcome. I have such mastery of the English language! ::sarcasm::
Posted by kazoo on March 17, 2000, at 0:38:06
In reply to Re: When **NOT** To Stay Away From Babble land..., posted by Vesper on March 17, 2000, at 0:23:11
When the sound of grass growing at night keeps you awake, then it's time to
split the scene and seek real help, not the virtual kind.
kazoo
Posted by michael on March 17, 2000, at 2:35:23
In reply to When **NOT** To Stay Away From Babble land..., posted by bob on March 16, 2000, at 19:55:03
> Like I said before, V, joke'em.
>
> If readers think what you have to say when you're reaching out for help here or just venting some radioactive steam is garbage, then they can stop reading it. Joke'em.
>
> You think those of us who care here would rather you keep it all to yourself until you collapse into some black hole somewhere? With all the problems *WE* have, do you really think what you have to say should be cause for embarassment? We've all been through some pretty demeaning shit -- so don't bother hanging your head around here. Psycho-babble means never having to say your sorry.
>
> Don't make the mistake of thinking that just because we can offer a kind word or a bit of advice that we currently have it all together. Well, maybe some, but not me. Half or better of the things I say to others are things I need to hear myself.
>
> Chew all the bandwidth you want, man. If it keeps you afloat and connected, it's more than worth it.
>
> bobOn a decidedly less serious note...
"Psycho-babble means never having to say your sorry."
You got me with that one, bob, actually had to laugh! I know what you mean - really - but that just struck me as kind of comical at the time. Thanks.
Posted by sherry on March 17, 2000, at 8:57:09
In reply to When **NOT** To Stay Away From Babble land..., posted by bob on March 16, 2000, at 19:55:03
I love your sense of humor. Love to read your posts because of it. Thanks!
> Like I said before, V, joke'em.
>
> If readers think what you have to say when you're reaching out for help here or just venting some radioactive steam is garbage, then they can stop reading it. Joke'em.
>
> You think those of us who care here would rather you keep it all to yourself until you collapse into some black hole somewhere? With all the problems *WE* have, do you really think what you have to say should be cause for embarassment? We've all been through some pretty demeaning shit -- so don't bother hanging your head around here. Psycho-babble means never having to say your sorry.
>
> Don't make the mistake of thinking that just because we can offer a kind word or a bit of advice that we currently have it all together. Well, maybe some, but not me. Half or better of the things I say to others are things I need to hear myself.
>
> Chew all the bandwidth you want, man. If it keeps you afloat and connected, it's more than worth it.
>
> bob
Posted by Colleen on March 18, 2000, at 1:45:32
In reply to When To Stay Away From Psychobabble land..., posted by Vesper on March 15, 2000, at 23:16:46
I've been reading the post at this sight and following you especially. I find it so courages on your part to hold out your hand for help. From reading what everyone has written you have a lot of people who love you. Consisder yourself lucky.
I'm so shy that I even have a hard time responding to people's posts and asking for help for I am in a dark pit right now. I'm very suicidal and just barely hanging on a thread. What's keeping me hanging around is I promised my doctor I would call him first.
I don't mean to pour out my misery hear for you don't need to here it, you have your own problems but I just want you to know that I really understand and think you are brave for reaching out on this site. Please teach me how to be like that.
Colleen
> Things are getting unstable again for me rapidly. How do I know when to stay away and avoid a repeat of my recent embarrassing episode of idiocy and near self-destruction?
> Should I just leave now?
> What do you all think?
> I can't seem to see myself clearly, so i need feedback as to whether I am just a burden here or what.
> Thank you
> Vesper
Posted by ChrisK on March 18, 2000, at 6:20:26
In reply to Re: When To Stay Away From Psychobabble land..., posted by Colleen on March 18, 2000, at 1:45:32
Colleen,
I'm glad that you made a promise to your doctor. It is very important to keep that promise. There are some very good safe places to get help and they DO help.
I was where you are two years ago. I tried to kill myself twice by OD (one failure, one rescued bya friend). It is not something that you would ever want to go through. They were terrible experiences that landed me in ICU for a few days. Afterwards I was sent to a good PSych Hospital. They showed me how to cope with things and set me up with my current pdoc.
Over the last two years of experimenting with meds I have finally come to a place that is comfortable for me. It can happen even though it doesn't seem that way now. There is hope for you.
Please stay with us and let us know how you are doing and definitely keep your end of your promise to your doctor. Call him or write me if you start to feel worse.
We're all out here to help.
Chris
Posted by bob on March 18, 2000, at 7:41:38
In reply to Colleen..., posted by ChrisK on March 18, 2000, at 6:20:26
Hi Colleen,
I'm glad, too, that you have that lifeline out to your doc ... and it's great that you've overcome your shyness to reach out here. You call Vesper courageous for reaching out here -- well, to quote my new favorite bit of folk wisdom (thanks to michael and his friend), spot it, you got it.
If you still feel uncomfortable responding as yourself, read the thread on site security a little above this one. If you feel a little too exposed, use a pseudonym or something like that. Just scanning this list will show you that a lot of people don't use their names. If that brings you a little more courage, do it.
Vesper,
I've been in a similar place ... I can imagine what you're going through. It can be really hard to accept, but it will get better. For me, the hardest thing was to open up and let all that nastiness flow through and out of me -- the tighter I'd hold myself, the stronger the grip it would have.Have you ever read Dune by Frank Herbert? I'll spare everyone the corresponding details, but there's this mantra in it called the Litany against Fear:
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
The same can be said for the pain we feel. Let it pass through you ... you will remain. Sometimes we hold onto a pain so tightly we never notice that its source is gone and that we have survived the experience, that there is no longer any need to feel the pain.
If you're a reader, look for any of Sri Chinmoy's books. He teaches how to meditate, and how to find the good inside that can overcome the bad. If you can't find any of his work, email me your address and I'll send you one.
hang in here, BOTH of you!
bob[yeah, dropping the "t" WAS a typo, but I kinda like it that way]
Posted by vesper on March 19, 2000, at 22:42:05
In reply to Colleen..., posted by ChrisK on March 18, 2000, at 6:20:26
> Colleen,
>
> I'm glad that you made a promise to your doctor. It is very important to keep that promise. There are some very good safe places to get help and they DO help.
>
> I was where you are two years ago. I tried to kill myself twice by OD (one failure, one rescued bya friend). It is not something that you would ever want to go through. They were terrible experiences that landed me in ICU for a few days. Afterwards I was sent to a good PSych Hospital. They showed me how to cope with things and set me up with my current pdoc.
>
> Over the last two years of experimenting with meds I have finally come to a place that is comfortable for me. It can happen even though it doesn't seem that way now. There is hope for you.
>
> Please stay with us and let us know how you are doing and definitely keep your end of your promise to your doctor. Call him or write me if you start to feel worse.
>
> We're all out here to help.
>
> Chris
Ditto.
I find it relatively easy these days to spill my guts because I really don't care anymore what anyone thinks of my being screwed up. I feel as though I have nothing to lose.
--Vesper
Posted by kellyR. on March 20, 2000, at 15:03:12
In reply to When To Stay Away From Psychobabble land..., posted by Vesper on March 15, 2000, at 23:16:46
> Things are getting unstable again for me rapidly. How do I know when to stay away and avoid a repeat of my recent embarrassing episode of idiocy and near self-destruction?
> Should I just leave now?
> What do you all think?
> I can't seem to see myself clearly, so i need feedback as to whether I am just a burden here or what.
> Thank you
> Vesper
We all at some point in our depression feel as if this is it no more can't take it anymore of this s**t,but so how we get through it. I've been self abuseing alote this week & feeling very down but i keep telling myself that it's just a episode & it well get better,sometimes it hard to tell myself that or beleive it,The Dr's told me that I would have to be on meds for life that the depression would might never go away.
Don't think that your a burden cause your not,this is what we are here for,to help each other out. If you need to talk about anything I'll leason. kellyR.
P.S. how is thing going w/ your friend?
This is the end of the thread.
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