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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 34 to 58 of 125. Go back in thread:
Posted by alexandra_k on July 12, 2005, at 5:03:12
In reply to Re: Indeed :-) » alexandra_k, posted by Dinah on July 12, 2005, at 4:51:29
Yeah, I just thought we were looking for an apt analogy.
I like that... The contrast between how your husband (and most people I guess) look for shoes, and how you look at shoes. And puppies. And boards. And therapists.
You are very special Dinah.
:-)
I guess I'd want to say that in general (and I realise there are exceptions) but in general when you go see the puppies you just fall for all of them.
You get one and its once you get it home and get to know it that you get attached to it.
That it wouldn't be so very hard being told you couldn't have the one you picked from the litter. But It'd be much harder to give it back after 6 months if there had been some kind of mix up.
But... I think I hear what you are saying too.
I do.
And I'm lost for words.
I just know that if you fell for me I'd feel very special indeed.
Posted by AuntieMel on July 12, 2005, at 8:08:45
In reply to Re: small boards and privacy, posted by Dr. Bob on July 12, 2005, at 2:25:02
If I go to a place and they don't have the shoes I want I go home.
I don't settle for a different pair. And I wouldn't take the time to look for another store.
Posted by Tamar on July 12, 2005, at 18:53:56
In reply to Re: small boards and privacy, posted by Dr. Bob on July 12, 2005, at 2:25:02
> > Boards are not like washing machines either.
>
> Are boards like shoes?
>
> If you go to a place and the one you like is sold out, will you try another?NO! I’m a total girl from the ankles down. If I go to a place and the pink one I like is sold out, they try to offer me the black one. But I don’t like black shoes and besides, the pink shoes go with my favourite jeans.
So I leave the store politely and go sulk alone with ice cream.
Climbing out of the metaphor before it buries me…
Is this still about the privacy of small boards? I tend to think that if the small boards are supplementary to the main boards it’s a good idea for them to be hidden from the outside world. I suppose I don’t worry so much about them being visible to other registered babblers (like the 2000 board) because if a discussion comes up on Small Board X and I’m not a member of that small board I can request further discussion on Relationships or Social of whatever. And I think the main boards are sufficient to draw new people in.
To come back to the small town analogy, people in Community Y can hear news of Community Z with interest even if they aren’t living in Community Z. But sometimes people in Community Z don’t want their local news broadcast all over the nation, even if they don’t mind their neighbours in Community Y hearing about it. If you’re a journalist you’ll write the story on Community Z anyway, but it’s a human interest story and the gritty stories are happening in the big cities.
I’ve sometimes felt that a difficulty with being part of a small community is that people from outside don’t always understand (or in some cases even respect) the culture. And it can be very, very difficult for incomers to be accepted in an established small community. All sorts of cultural issues might arise if the membership of small boards has a purely numerical basis. But what other basis is fair?
> I'm not sure how to balance the different issues.
I can imagine. There’s ethics, sociology, philosophy… How is it possible to prioritize?
> But nobody would post if they couldn't read first...
>
> BobYeah, but can they post where they’ve been reading?
Tamar
Posted by alexandra_k on July 12, 2005, at 19:31:02
In reply to Re: small boards and privacy » Dr. Bob, posted by Tamar on July 12, 2005, at 18:53:56
To be fair to the shoe analogy I think it has quite a lot to do with how much you really need / want some shoes, versus how many other pairs of shoes you already possess and so how picky you can afford to be...
Posted by alexandra_k on July 12, 2005, at 19:32:09
In reply to Re: small boards and privacy, posted by alexandra_k on July 12, 2005, at 19:31:02
And in general... Girls are rather notorious for their tendancy to have rather a lot of shoes ;-)
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 13, 2005, at 0:10:51
In reply to Re: small boards and privacy » Dr. Bob, posted by Tamar on July 12, 2005, at 18:53:56
> Weighing issues can be hard, I appreciate that. I just really don't think that people will benefit very much from reading them when they are unable to post.
>
> alexandra_kThanks. My guess is that for every poster there are maybe 20 lurkers...
--
> (Actually that's a rather utilitarian view of shoes as well. It's like my husband when he sets out to buy a pair of brown shoes. Not like me when I see those really cute pink tennies with daisies on them. It's not really that I'm setting out to buy shoes. I fell in love with *those* shoes.)
I'm not sure it needs to be utilitarian. Wouldn't you be more likely to go back to where you've seen cute tennies than where you've seen brown shoes?
> You know, you should look at this in a more positive light. If boards were like shoe stores, and people just went from one store to the next in the mall, it would be a lot easier for people to leave. And no one would have cared enough to meet in Chicago.
>
> DinahWell, not all shoe stores are in malls... :-)
--
> If I go to a place and they don't have the shoes I want I go home.
>
> I don't settle for a different pair. And I wouldn't take the time to look for another store.
>
> AuntieMelMight you go back some other time?
--
> If I go to a place and the pink one I like is sold out, they try to offer me the black one. But I don’t like black shoes and besides, the pink shoes go with my favourite jeans.
What if they offered you a different pink one?
> Is this still about the privacy of small boards? I tend to think that if the small boards are supplementary to the main boards it’s a good idea for them to be hidden from the outside world... And I think the main boards are sufficient to draw new people in.
>
> TamarMaybe part of this is that if it's just large vs. small, I'd expect some people to prefer large and some people to prefer small. But if it's public vs. private, I don't know, would everyone opt for private?
Bob
Posted by alexandra_k on July 13, 2005, at 4:58:59
In reply to Re: small boards and privacy, posted by Dr. Bob on July 13, 2005, at 0:10:51
> My guess is that for every poster there are maybe 20 lurkers...
Spies!
They can still lurk on the current boards.
Posted by gardenergirl on July 13, 2005, at 9:43:00
In reply to Re: small boards and privacy » Dr. Bob, posted by alexandra_k on July 13, 2005, at 4:58:59
And lurkers may always lurk and never post regardless of the size of the board.
gg
Posted by gabbii on July 13, 2005, at 18:21:18
In reply to P.S. To Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on July 11, 2005, at 18:44:28
But I love Babble, not other boards. I chose to post on Babble, not on other boards. I would not have been at all happy to hear that Babble was closed, but there were these other wonderful boards out there. It was here that Noa and Mair and KrazyKat and Sar and.... were posting.
That's true for me too Dinah, and it brought back such fond memories.
My first post to Babble was because of a conversation you and Tabitha were having. It hadn't ever occured to to join a "Board"
but I *did* want to know you two, and happily it turned out that you were representative of so many other Babblers I adore.
Posted by Dinah on July 13, 2005, at 18:42:13
In reply to Re: P.S. To Dr. Bob » Dinah, posted by gabbii on July 13, 2005, at 18:21:18
I miss Tabitha. I'm glad she pops in now and again.
You brought back some fond memories myself.
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 15, 2005, at 7:29:32
In reply to Re: P.S. To Dr. Bob » Dinah, posted by gabbii on July 13, 2005, at 18:21:18
> My first post to Babble was because of a conversation you and Tabitha were having. It hadn't ever occured to to join a "Board"
> but I *did* want to know you two, and happily it turned out that you were representative of so many other Babblers I adore.That's a good example of how it's important for others to be able to read...
Bob
Posted by Dinah on July 15, 2005, at 7:51:51
In reply to Re: a conversation, posted by Dr. Bob on July 15, 2005, at 7:29:32
And reply.
Posted by alexandra_k on July 15, 2005, at 13:02:18
In reply to Re: small boards and privacy, posted by Dr. Bob on July 13, 2005, at 0:10:51
> Maybe part of this is that if it's just large vs. small, I'd expect some people to prefer large and some people to prefer small. But if it's public vs. private, I don't know, would everyone opt for private?
I don't think I would. Or at least not exclusively.
I think people will continue posting to the main boards for information. You are more likely to find someone who has something to say if your audience is larger.
Posted by gabbii on July 15, 2005, at 13:22:24
In reply to Re: a conversation, posted by Dr. Bob on July 15, 2005, at 7:29:32
> That's a good example of how it's important for others to be able to read...
>
> BobAs Dinah said "And reply." You can't leave the other half out of my example, even though it was inferred. If I had not been able to reply I never would have bothered finding about the rest of Babble, or looked for someone I could reply to. It *never* would have happened. Period.
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 16, 2005, at 1:51:45
In reply to Re: small boards and privacy » Dr. Bob, posted by alexandra_k on July 15, 2005, at 13:02:18
> I think people will continue posting to the main boards for information. You are more likely to find someone who has something to say if your audience is larger.
Hmm, that's a good point...
Bob
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 16, 2005, at 1:51:48
In reply to Re: a conversation Dr. Bob, posted by gabbii on July 15, 2005, at 13:22:24
> If I had not been able to reply I never would have bothered finding about the rest of Babble, or looked for someone I could reply to. It *never* would have happened. Period.
Even though they were representative of so many other Babblers?
Bob
Posted by alexandra_k on July 16, 2005, at 6:49:30
In reply to Re: small boards and privacy » Dr. Bob, posted by alexandra_k on July 15, 2005, at 13:02:18
... And I like meeting new Babblers too. And I like talking to the Babblers who are on the boards already. And I don't imagine ALL of them will get to be part of one small board. I think I'd still post to social just to chat.
Posted by Dinah on July 16, 2005, at 8:10:04
In reply to Re: a conversation, posted by Dr. Bob on July 16, 2005, at 1:51:48
> Even though they were representative of so many other Babblers?
>
> BobI know Gabbi is more than capable of speaking for herself, but her actual statement was:
"but I *did* want to know you two, and happily it turned out that you were representative of so many other Babblers I adore."
By the timing stated above, she discovered that the posters she wanted to reply to were representative of other Babblers *after* she had replied and become involved in Babble. And that if she had not been able to reply, she would not have discovered this.
And again, Dr. Bob. This is not a laundromat.
This is the sort of post from you that makes me feel like I'm in a debate, Dr. Bob. Rather than a discussion between people who really want to understand each other and who respect each other and their positions. I know you don't intend it that way. But I also know you are baffled sometimes by my reactions, so I thought I'd point it out as I went along.
Posted by gabbii on July 16, 2005, at 11:59:03
In reply to Re: a conversation » Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on July 16, 2005, at 8:10:04
Thanks Dinah!
I'm glad you spoke for me. Dr. Bob that reply did make me feel as if I was in a debate,and I think it's probably one of the feelings I hate most after I've gone out of the way think to spell out my feelings and my reactions as clearly as can be.The reason I said it would not have happened.. period. Is because it WOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED.. PERIOD!
I would not have bothered to find out if any other "Babblers" were like TAbitha and Dinah, I easily slipped into that conversation and it was a good fit. If anything, finding out I couldn't post to them would completely turn me off and I would be LESS likely to work to find anything out about anyone else, had a been inclined in the first place, which I would not have been. AKKK!
It's not a laundromat!
I'm not going to see that one drier is not working and look for another.
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 17, 2005, at 0:38:56
In reply to Re: a conversation, posted by gabbii on July 16, 2005, at 11:59:03
> Dr. Bob that reply did make me feel as if I was in a debate
>
> The reason I said it would not have happened.. period. Is because it WOULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED.. PERIOD!
> I would not have bothered to find out if any other "Babblers" were like TAbitha and DinahSorry about that! OK, it wouldn't have happened. This site has only one chance to engage some people.
But I think other people might have looked for other Babblers. Like some people who post and don't get a response don't post again -- but some do.
Bob
Posted by Dinah on July 17, 2005, at 9:09:42
In reply to Re: a conversation, posted by Dr. Bob on July 17, 2005, at 0:38:56
We aren't washing machines, Dr. Bob.
"other babblers"
This one is taken, but there are other babblers over there you might like to talk to.
sheesh.
It's a bit insulting, you know.
Posted by Dinah on July 17, 2005, at 9:18:38
In reply to Re: a conversation, posted by Dr. Bob on July 17, 2005, at 0:38:56
Dr. Bob, was I right before?
Do you read so many posts, and see so many Babblers come and go, that you think we're all interchangeable?
Do you not see how very special we all are each in our own way?
I don't think you're interchangeable with other board moderators. :(
I wouldn't say, "Well, Babble is full. I'll go see if I can find another board to post on."
Posted by Dinah on July 17, 2005, at 10:25:50
In reply to Re: a conversation, posted by Dr. Bob on July 17, 2005, at 0:38:56
I appreciated that you replied to Gabbi directly without verbal sleight of hand. :)
And that you apologized.
Posted by gabbii on July 17, 2005, at 10:59:17
In reply to Re: a conversation, posted by Dr. Bob on July 17, 2005, at 0:38:56
For the apology, it was appreciated.
I liked the exclamation mark too, it felt like a real reply. "Okay then fine! sorry won't be trying that on you again...grumble, grumble"
: )
Posted by alexandra_k on July 17, 2005, at 13:26:02
In reply to Re: a conversation, posted by Dr. Bob on July 17, 2005, at 0:38:56
I think people probably have different reasons for having a look on Babble. Some people might be just having a wander on the net while other people might be looking for something in particular.
People looking for information might post their question on several different sites and see where they get the most helpful responses.
People looking to meet other people might be more interested in the conversations / posters at the site.
I was just looking for some friends. If I couldn't post over here I would have found somewhere else.
Its only NOW after posting for so long that I have gotten attached to this site and the posters here. I wouldn't have been so very upset if I couldn't have posted here to start with because I wouldn't have known the people here to really see what I would have been missing out on.
But that being said I'm not a lurker by nature. I would have realised I couldn't post pretty quickly. Other people who spend more time reading the posts might feel like they have gotten to know the posters and be more likely to feel a little slapped when they can't sign up.
Because not everybody reads the blurb on the boards. I didn't read it for quite a while. If there had been something there about the board being restricted then I would have missed it until I tried to sign up most probably.
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