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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 47. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by brynb on January 16, 2013, at 9:26:32
hi babble friends-
first, i want to say how thankful i am to have this community. i know many of you think it's gone downhill, but i find it very helpful, and have made some great connections w/ compassionate people (many who don't post anymore but still visit the site).
i was back in the hospital again two days ago and just got back. so i spent the last week hospitalized feeling more physically ill than i've ever been (except for a trip to egypt in 2000) only to get no diagnosis. well, the dx was that my psych meds have made me ill, and that was made through process of elimination. after coming home on sat, i became really dehydrated and was back in the hospital over the last two days. everything is a bloody mess and i'm crying as i write this. i'm just so sad.
my tx of 3 weeks dumped me yesterday via a text message. she thinks i'm too sick and that my life is in too much turmoil for her to deal with me. um, isn't that what her job is about? she wants me to do an intensive outpatient program. i think she should just f*ck off. (sorry i sound so angry, i'm just at the end of my rope.)
my pdoc is in limbo with me. i haven't been on any of my psych drugs since fri/sat because i've been so sick and was vomiting literally every half hour and couldn't keep anything down. all of my medical doctors (from the hospital and out of the hospital) think the reason why i'm having so many physical ailments and have been so ill is due to my psychotropic drugs (pretty much by process of elimination), so even though my pdoc doesn't agree w/ them, he wants me to discontinue everything and do a washout (which I technically have been doing anyway since I haven't taken anything since saturday due to being sick.). not to mention that's not how you do a "washout;" how the hell am i supposed to keep it together when i've abruptly stopped all meds? well, that's how it's happening since i had to stop after not being able to keep anything down.
my pdoc did say he would help me w/ disability, but it kinda sounds like he's dumping me too and also wants me to go to an inpatient or outpatient program. all of this only confirms my belief that these psych "experts" know jack sh*t about psychiatry and we might as well be living in the medieval times. sorry to ramble and sound so angry; i'm so sick, sad, defeated and done. i don't want to die but i don't want to live (not like this). i have no support. my family is sick of me being sick, unsupportive and don't understand.
thanks if you read this...i know i sound like a ranting lunatic, but i've been pushed to my limit.
-b
Posted by Phillipa on January 16, 2013, at 10:05:36
In reply to woe is me, posted by brynb on January 16, 2013, at 9:26:32
Bryn the medical docs performed all sorts of tests and came to the conclusion that it was the psych meds that were the cause of all this? Weren't you on lexapro? I just don't get it either? Makes no sense to me. And you were fine in Egypt? I admitt I'm literally stumped? Where's your family? Phillipa
Posted by brynb on January 16, 2013, at 10:23:44
In reply to Re: woe is me » brynb, posted by Phillipa on January 16, 2013, at 10:05:36
Phillipa-
I was joking about Egypt--I was really, really (hospital) ill from something I ate there, so it's been a long time since I've been that ill (hospital-sick).
They couldn't find anything "wrong" w/ any of my tests--they were all negative (except for a cat scan that showed a distended bladder). I was catheterized as I was retaining over one liter of urine. Gross.
I was on Lexapro, Librium and Trileptal (only a few days on the latter). As you know, I recently dropped lithium as I "mysteriously" developed edema and cellulitis. It all doesn't make sense.
I have my family physically here in NY, but in many ways, they checked out. I have some close friends, but I don't discuss this stuff was they don't have the time and I don't like to feel like a pest or needy person.
Thanks, P.
Posted by schleprock on January 16, 2013, at 10:28:43
In reply to woe is me, posted by brynb on January 16, 2013, at 9:26:32
Looks like Lou was right...
But anyway, have you recently decreased the dosage or discontinued any medications? It sounds a lot like withdrawal. I might have had a similar experience following a minute dosage adjustment of nortriptyline.
Also, you wouldn't happen to be on lithium by any chance, would you?
Posted by brynb on January 16, 2013, at 10:35:43
In reply to woe is me, posted by brynb on January 16, 2013, at 9:26:32
oh, and i pay out of pocket, so my tx got $100 for 40 minutes, and my pdoc gets $300 for 30 minutes. and i have no insurance.
Posted by brynb on January 16, 2013, at 11:07:30
In reply to Re: woe is me » brynb, posted by schleprock on January 16, 2013, at 10:28:43
> Looks like Lou was right...
haha--yeah, for the .5% of the population his warnings could apply to, perhaps i'm one of 'em.
>
> But anyway, have you recently decreased the dosage or discontinued any medications? It sounds a lot like withdrawal. I might have had a similar experience following a minute dosage adjustment of nortriptyline.
>yes! I went off of ALL my psych meds within a one day period--all at once. it's a stupid/horrible thing to do, but i had become so sick that I couldn't hold anything down, so i literally just couldn't take them. after that, my pdoc said even though he doesn't agree w/ the med docs, i should just continue the washout. i'm losing insight of the fact that i'm in withdrawal and a washout which is pure hell.
> Also, you wouldn't happen to be on lithium by any chance, would you?
I was indeed on lithium from late June until about a month ago and stopped as I developed severe edema and felt that it could've been the lithium (even though my pdoc said that was impossible). why do you ask?
thanks, schleprock!
Posted by Deneb on January 16, 2013, at 14:00:30
In reply to Re: woe is me » schleprock, posted by brynb on January 16, 2013, at 11:07:30
Wow, I'm so sorry to hear this. ((((hugs))))
Do you feel a bit better now? I mean I know you're in withdrawal, but is it better than when in the hospital?
I hope you get it figured out soon.
It's just a shame that your doctors are giving up on you. It's not your fault you got sick and they can't figure it out.
Posted by brynb on January 16, 2013, at 17:32:11
In reply to Re: woe is me, posted by Deneb on January 16, 2013, at 14:00:30
> Wow, I'm so sorry to hear this. ((((hugs))))
>
> Do you feel a bit better now? I mean I know you're in withdrawal, but is it better than when in the hospital?
>
> I hope you get it figured out soon.
>
> It's just a shame that your doctors are giving up on you. It's not your fault you got sick and they can't figure it out.
>
>thanks so much, deneb. i really appreciate your post.
i still feel beyond awful. i have nothing left in me now. i honestly feel half-dead. i think i'll be lying in bed until something, if anything, changes.
i hope you're still doing well--your success story gives me some hope!
-b
Posted by jono_in_adelaide on January 16, 2013, at 20:03:32
In reply to Re: woe is me » Deneb, posted by brynb on January 16, 2013, at 17:32:11
Given where you're currently at, i realy think you should consider inpatient care for a short time, to try and get you stabalised on some effective meds, and to get you over the crisis.
Have you tried prochlorperazine (Compazine) or meteclopramide (Reglan, Maxalon) for the nausea and vomiting?
Posted by Lou Pilder on January 16, 2013, at 20:05:04
In reply to Re: woe is me » brynb, posted by schleprock on January 16, 2013, at 10:28:43
> Looks like Lou was right...
>
> But anyway, have you recently decreased the dosage or discontinued any medications? It sounds a lot like withdrawal. I might have had a similar experience following a minute dosage adjustment of nortriptyline.
>
> Also, you wouldn't happen to be on lithium by any chance, would you?schleprock,
You wrote,
[...Looks like Lou was right..].
Friends, if you look at the liturature in regards to psychiaric drugs, a lot of them have in their PI that the drug could worsen depression. And on top of that, the psychiatrist/doctor that you are in collaboration with to obtainthese drugs could tell ou that you have to take the drug for many weeks before it "works", whatever that could mean. After the many weeks, there could be addiction. Addiction so horrific that some kill themselves and/r others during withdrawal.
It has been revealed to me a way one can withdrawal from these drugs. Yet today, I am prevented from posting that way here due to prohibitions made to me here by Mr Hsiung. It comes from a Jewish perspective that has been revealed to me in relation to the foundation of Judaism.
Lou
I would like interested readers to view the following video. To see this video:
A. Pull up Google
B. Type in:
[youtube, vpAEapBfXe0]
You will see a cartoon and the time is on there at 3:58
Posted by Phillipa on January 16, 2013, at 20:40:10
In reply to Re: woe is me » Phillipa, posted by brynb on January 16, 2013, at 10:23:44
Bryn I don't see how any of these meds could cause what's happened to you. It just doesn't make sense. Other than withdrawal. Still taking nothing? Phillipa
Posted by johnLA on January 16, 2013, at 21:29:46
In reply to woe is me, posted by brynb on January 16, 2013, at 9:26:32
(((bryn)))
b, my right coast girl.
are you safe? i know you are very strong. but, if you are having any bad thoughts, please go inpatient. you sound very vulnerable right now. being pulled-off psych meds like that will mess with anyone's rational thinking. again, any bad thoughts please go in.
wish you lived closer...
john
Posted by Emme_V2 on January 16, 2013, at 21:48:21
In reply to woe is me, posted by brynb on January 16, 2013, at 9:26:32
> hi babble friends-
>
> first, i want to say how thankful i am to have this community. i know many of you think it's gone downhill, but i find it very helpful, and have made some great connections w/ compassionate people (many who don't post anymore but still visit the site).
>
> i was back in the hospital again two days ago and just got back. so i spent the last week hospitalized feeling more physically ill than i've ever been (except for a trip to egypt in 2000) only to get no diagnosis. well, the dx was that my psych meds have made me ill, and that was made through process of elimination. after coming home on sat, i became really dehydrated and was back in the hospital over the last two days. everything is a bloody mess and i'm crying as i write this. i'm just so sad.
>
> my tx of 3 weeks dumped me yesterday via a text message. she thinks i'm too sick and that my life is in too much turmoil for her to deal with me. um, isn't that what her job is about? she wants me to do an intensive outpatient program. i think she should just f*ck off. (sorry i sound so angry, i'm just at the end of my rope.)
>
> my pdoc is in limbo with me. i haven't been on any of my psych drugs since fri/sat because i've been so sick and was vomiting literally every half hour and couldn't keep anything down. all of my medical doctors (from the hospital and out of the hospital) think the reason why i'm having so many physical ailments and have been so ill is due to my psychotropic drugs (pretty much by process of elimination), so even though my pdoc doesn't agree w/ them, he wants me to discontinue everything and do a washout (which I technically have been doing anyway since I haven't taken anything since saturday due to being sick.). not to mention that's not how you do a "washout;" how the hell am i supposed to keep it together when i've abruptly stopped all meds? well, that's how it's happening since i had to stop after not being able to keep anything down.
>
> my pdoc did say he would help me w/ disability, but it kinda sounds like he's dumping me too and also wants me to go to an inpatient or outpatient program. all of this only confirms my belief that these psych "experts" know jack sh*t about psychiatry and we might as well be living in the medieval times. sorry to ramble and sound so angry; i'm so sick, sad, defeated and done. i don't want to die but i don't want to live (not like this). i have no support. my family is sick of me being sick, unsupportive and don't understand.
>
> thanks if you read this...i know i sound like a ranting lunatic, but i've been pushed to my limit.
>
> -bSo sorry you're suffering so badly. Inpatient or intensive outpatient might be worth considering. I'm wondering about the throwing up. Did you make any sort of med dosage increase or add a new med when it started, or had you been on everything for while? Are you feeling better stomach wise without the meds? Are you confident that they ruled everything else out?
I know it's hard to be aggressive for your own treatment when you feel so awful. And stopping everything at once is pretty brutal and can send your brain into a bad state. Keep letting us know how you're doing.
emme
Posted by brynb on January 16, 2013, at 21:48:52
In reply to Re: woe is me » brynb, posted by Phillipa on January 16, 2013, at 20:40:10
thanks for the supportive posts.
i'm thinking being so physically ill and being yanked off of 3 different psych meds is what's really screwing me up. i'm also feeling really unsupported and full of self-hatred.
it's ironic i suppose; being so physically ill and mentally ill simultaneously.
Posted by brynb on January 16, 2013, at 22:02:02
In reply to Re: woe is me, posted by johnLA on January 16, 2013, at 21:29:46
good to see you, john. and thanks for putting a smile on my face.
i hope you're in a good place.-b
Posted by brynb on January 16, 2013, at 22:11:36
In reply to Re: woe is me, posted by jono_in_adelaide on January 16, 2013, at 20:03:32
> Given where you're currently at, i realy think you should consider inpatient care for a short time, to try and get you stabalised on some effective meds, and to get you over the crisis.
>
> Have you tried prochlorperazine (Compazine) or meteclopramide (Reglan, Maxalon) for the nausea and vomiting?jono-
i'm thinking about it, but i'm pretty scarred by past experiences.
as far as nausea goes, it abated (finally!), but I have an Rx for zofran and reglan. I received both via iv in the hospital and they really helped.
thanks for your help. hope you're well...
Posted by schleprock on January 16, 2013, at 23:57:03
In reply to woe is me, posted by brynb on January 16, 2013, at 9:26:32
You might as will have just named this thread "Lou Pilder (aka Prince of Death) we need another one of your life-affirming sermons and links to childish videos of Lego people."
I actually meant was whether you stopped taking any meds BEFORE your recent washout (especially anything you had been on long term). That could have contributed to the nausea in the first place.
Posted by schleprock on January 16, 2013, at 23:58:29
In reply to Lou's response-ehynupsng » schleprock, posted by Lou Pilder on January 16, 2013, at 20:05:04
> > Looks like Lou was right...
> >
> > But anyway, have you recently decreased the dosage or discontinued any medications? It sounds a lot like withdrawal. I might have had a similar experience following a minute dosage adjustment of nortriptyline.
> >
> > Also, you wouldn't happen to be on lithium by any chance, would you?
>
> schleprock,
> You wrote,
> [...Looks like Lou was right..].
> Friends, if you look at the liturature in regards to psychiaric drugs, a lot of them have in their PI that the drug could worsen depression. And on top of that, the psychiatrist/doctor that you are in collaboration with to obtainthese drugs could tell ou that you have to take the drug for many weeks before it "works", whatever that could mean. After the many weeks, there could be addiction. Addiction so horrific that some kill themselves and/r others during withdrawal.
> It has been revealed to me a way one can withdrawal from these drugs. Yet today, I am prevented from posting that way here due to prohibitions made to me here by Mr Hsiung. It comes from a Jewish perspective that has been revealed to me in relation to the foundation of Judaism.
> Lou
> I would like interested readers to view the following video. To see this video:
> A. Pull up Google
> B. Type in:
> [youtube, vpAEapBfXe0]
> You will see a cartoon and the time is on there at 3:58Lou, is that you in the video?
Posted by johnLA on January 17, 2013, at 5:00:31
In reply to woe is me, posted by brynb on January 16, 2013, at 9:26:32
love this song. helps me when i'm down. makes me know i can slay that dragon...
Posted by SLS on January 17, 2013, at 5:05:56
In reply to Lou's response-ehynupsng » schleprock, posted by Lou Pilder on January 16, 2013, at 20:05:04
> > Looks like Lou was right...
> schleprock,
> You wrote,
> [...Looks like Lou was right..].
> Friends, if you look at the liturature in regards to psychiaric drugs, a lot of them have in their PI that the drug could worsen depression.Yes, when an antidepressant is not a good match for the idiosyncrasies of one's neurobiology, a worsening of depression is a possible outcome. We see this here quite often amongst a population of treatment-resistant people who have been exposed to numerous drugs. I think this association is an artifact of the greater number of drugs tried per individual. Along with this is the supposition that the biological diatheses of treatment resistant cases leaves one more likely to display unusual neurobiological states in reaction to specific drugs. However, this cannot be generalized. Two people can react in opposite ways to the same drug.
One thing that is too-often overlooked is that there are cases in which a severely depressed individual longs for death, but who doesn't have the energy nor cognitive resources to plan and attempt a suicide. It is this severe depression that actually prevents the individual from forming a plan and having the energy to executing that plan. It happens quite often that as someone is just beginning to respond to treatment, they gain the ability to form plans and have the energy to succeed. At this point, the individual may not be well enough to feel any less frustrated, demoralized, sad, angry, helpless, or hopeless. In his mind, nothing has changed in his life in the 14 days it takes to begin responding to drug treatment. The first 3 - 4 weeks period is therefore a dangerous time for people who are just beginning to feel more intellectually and physically energetic. It is incumbent upon the doctor to explain this before initiating treatment, and to schedule weekly visits to evaluate the extent to which the patient is experiencing sucidal thoughts. A doctor might treat a patient with a drug to reduce the anger and anxiety that is driving such thoughts by using a short course of benzodiazepine treatment. Psychotherapy can be very important during this time. Once through this dangerous period, an antidepressant drug can rescue someone from their disabling and painful existence and transform their life into one of joy and fulfillment.
Lou Pilder: When you were treated with psychotropic medications, in what ways did you become suicidal?
- Scott
Posted by brynb on January 17, 2013, at 7:39:08
In reply to Re: woe is me » brynb, posted by schleprock on January 16, 2013, at 23:57:03
great. thanks. just duked it out with him in another thread because i'm so sick & tired and way too sick & tired to deal w/ him.
i did not stop any meds before i became ill. only during. i did stop lithium about a month ago, though. i was on a low dose and my pdoc didn't tell me to taper.
Posted by brynb on January 17, 2013, at 7:49:13
In reply to sing w/me b..., posted by johnLA on January 17, 2013, at 5:00:31
thanks for the beautiful song, john. it's very apropos...
Posted by ChicagoKat on January 17, 2013, at 8:21:37
In reply to woe is me, posted by brynb on January 16, 2013, at 9:26:32
Bryn,
You are not a ranting lunatic, you are mentally ill. And sadly, that sometimes seems to carry the same stigma that it did in medieval times. People who have never had depression or anxiety do not GET IT. I've had the same problem with family and loved ones gettng sick of me being so depressed, but it's because they simply cannot imagine how it feels. I've learned to lean on other depressives and leave my loved ones out of the loop. One really telling sign: when I was sick in the hospital with a "real" illness, my family was unbelievably concerned and compassionate. They will never be that way about my depression, even though it is far more painful to me than those "real" illnesses. Sometimes I wish I could let them step into my brain for just a minute so they could understand how it feels.
Hang in there Bryn. You have all of us to lean on and we will give you all the support we can. You are so not alone.
Kat
Posted by brynb on January 17, 2013, at 10:46:02
In reply to Re: woe is me » brynb, posted by Emme_V2 on January 16, 2013, at 21:48:21
> So sorry you're suffering so badly. Inpatient or intensive outpatient might be worth considering. I'm wondering about the throwing up. Did you make any sort of med dosage increase or add a new med when it started, or had you been on everything for while? Are you feeling better stomach wise without the meds? Are you confident that they ruled everything else out?
>
> I know it's hard to be aggressive for your own treatment when you feel so awful. And stopping everything at once is pretty brutal and can send your brain into a bad state. Keep letting us know how you're doing.
>
> emmethanks, emme. there was nothing new or changed when i got sick. it just sort of happened. i'm thinking of taking half of my lexapro dose until i can fully wean off or speak to my pdoc. better yet, i'd like to find a new pdoc as this guy has proved to be worthless. i'm a somewhat easy patient--i'm not difficult, i don't challenge, i comply and i offer intelligent insight and suggestions into my case. oh, sometimes i cry. so what? i say "somewhat" easy patient because i'm tx resistant and my pdoc doesn't seem to know what to do w/ me and i'm getting the feeling that it's annoying to him.
thanks again. i might go inpatient. i can't do this anymore.
Posted by brynb on January 17, 2013, at 15:35:10
In reply to woe is me, posted by brynb on January 16, 2013, at 9:26:32
I just made an appointment w/ Edward Fruitman to discuss my case and possibly ketamine. My pdoc has been unresponsive and I feel a bit unethical too.
Fruitman's considerably inexpensive at $250 for initial consults, then about $150 for follow ups. His reviews are excellent.
Any other suggestions?
Thx.
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