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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 64. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by alchemy on August 20, 2012, at 19:29:56
Most of us are extremely interested in the research of mood disorders. Some people here are very knowledgable on the biochemistry, drug interactions, etc.
I have been accepted to a university program that focuses on medical research informatics, including genes. This has always been my interest. Back in the day I started the course to be a dr, but wasn't "stable" enough.
After reading the high requirements for the program, I debate on how much I can really handle. I think I have to accept that I have a disability and cannot function fully.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if we all became "well" in our own ways and could pull together our knowledge and do further research?
Posted by Twinleaf on August 20, 2012, at 19:53:35
In reply to Too bad we aren't well enough to be scientists, posted by alchemy on August 20, 2012, at 19:29:56
You clearly have the interest, knowledge and ability to do that, and it would be wonderful if you could find a graduate program which did not over- stress you. Do you think there might be a way to do that?
Posted by phidippus on August 20, 2012, at 20:18:56
In reply to Too bad we aren't well enough to be scientists, posted by alchemy on August 20, 2012, at 19:29:56
I am on disability and am currently a med student. My 'disability' doesn't stopp me from doing anything.
Eric
Posted by Raisinb on August 20, 2012, at 23:01:50
In reply to Too bad we aren't well enough to be scientists, posted by alchemy on August 20, 2012, at 19:29:56
I hear you! I just wish I'd gone into psychology in the first place, since I've done way more reading, research, and writing in that field than I have done in what I get paid to do.
But I agree with the others. If you have been accepted and it is something you want to do, you should go for it (or at least think seriously about going for it).
Posted by Phillipa on August 20, 2012, at 23:34:14
In reply to Re: Too bad we aren't well enough to be scientists, posted by Raisinb on August 20, 2012, at 23:01:50
Can you do some online? That might reduce stress load. Phillipa
Posted by bleauberry on August 21, 2012, at 5:23:30
In reply to Too bad we aren't well enough to be scientists, posted by alchemy on August 20, 2012, at 19:29:56
I can't speak for all fields of medicine, but from what I have seen, the very best scientists are the sick patients that doctors can't seem to get well. Many of them, through tireless trials and errors thinking outside the box in pure survival mode with their lives on the line, they are the ones that find stuff that works. Maybe they can't explain why something works, but neither can scientists. Also, as long as scientists continue to view the entire psychiatric spectrum as a monoamine issue, there are going to be holes in it.
I do not believe one must be healthy to be a good scientist.. Actually, the sick person probably makes a better one, because they have a real stake in the game that goes beyond mere curiosity.
Posted by SLS on August 21, 2012, at 7:10:18
In reply to Re: Too bad we aren't well enough to be scientists » alchemy, posted by phidippus on August 20, 2012, at 20:18:56
> I am on disability and am currently a med student. My 'disability' doesn't stopp me from doing anything.
I am sure that you work hard, but you are lucky that your illnesses allow you to function at all.
I hope you would agree that for some people, their depression is disabling and does indeed stop them from doing almost everything.
- Scott
Posted by alchemy on August 21, 2012, at 16:18:07
In reply to Re: Too bad we aren't well enough to be scientists » alchemy, posted by phidippus on August 20, 2012, at 20:18:56
> I am on disability and am currently a med student. My 'disability' doesn't stopp me from doing anything.
>
> EricWhar kind of disability?
Posted by phidippus on August 21, 2012, at 16:29:37
In reply to Re: Too bad we aren't well enough to be scientists, posted by bleauberry on August 21, 2012, at 5:23:30
I agree. I'm one of the sick ones.
Eric
Posted by phidippus on August 21, 2012, at 16:31:58
In reply to Re: Too bad we aren't well enough to be scientists » phidippus, posted by SLS on August 21, 2012, at 7:10:18
The trick to defeating depression is doing something, no matter how hard.
I was suicidal when I composed a track for a Mercedes commercial. I was so depressed I could hardly move.
Eric
Posted by phidippus on August 21, 2012, at 16:35:29
In reply to Re: Too bad we aren't well enough to be scientists » phidippus, posted by alchemy on August 21, 2012, at 16:18:07
SSDI for Bipolar 1 condition. I also have OCD.
Eric
Posted by SLS on August 21, 2012, at 19:49:46
In reply to Re: Too bad we aren't well enough to be scientists » SLS, posted by phidippus on August 21, 2012, at 16:31:58
> The trick to defeating depression is doing something, no matter how hard.
>
> I was suicidal when I composed a track for a Mercedes commercial. I was so depressed I could hardly move.Would taking a shower count?
- Scott
Posted by phidippus on August 21, 2012, at 19:58:15
In reply to Re: Too bad we aren't well enough to be scientists » phidippus, posted by SLS on August 21, 2012, at 19:49:46
Only if the shower is really cold. Nothing like self abuse to stir the spirits.
Eric
Posted by SLS on August 21, 2012, at 20:33:52
In reply to Re: Too bad we aren't well enough to be scientists » SLS, posted by phidippus on August 21, 2012, at 16:31:58
> The trick to defeating depression is doing something, no matter how hard.
>
> I was suicidal when I composed a track for a Mercedes commercial. I was so depressed I could hardly move.
I think the most pervasive mistake made by people on Psycho-Babble (and elsewhere) is to attempt to compare their experience with mental illness to those of others, and to question another's resolve to function at any given level.It sounds as if you are saying that I could have defeated my depression long ago if I had only known the trick to "do something". What didn't I do? What do I continue not to do? When did you first discover this "trick"? Are you now cured of mental illness such that you can discontinue treatment? If not, then why haven't you defeated your illness by "doing something"?
You say that you could "hardly" move when you composed a track for a Mercedes commercial. Can you better describe this experience? I would like to compare it to what I have seen in others.
- Scott
Posted by Raisinb on August 21, 2012, at 22:33:17
In reply to Re: Too bad we aren't well enough to be scientists » phidippus, posted by SLS on August 21, 2012, at 20:33:52
I've been in states where I was so frantically doing everything I could think of to defeat my depression that I induced way more dysphoria because I was constantly beating myself up for not doing more or different things. Depression is great for inducing binds like that.
Posted by SLS on August 21, 2012, at 23:02:31
In reply to Re: Too bad we aren't well enough to be scientists » SLS, posted by Raisinb on August 21, 2012, at 22:33:17
> I've been in states where I was so frantically doing everything I could think of to defeat my depression that I induced way more dysphoria because I was constantly beating myself up for not doing more or different things. Depression is great for inducing binds like that.
Have you always had high expectations of yourself?
I did.
Perfectionism can be depressogenic.
At some point, I realized just how great an achievement it was to survive with this illness. It was a bitter pill to swallow to lose my intellect and operate at a level way beneath those around me.
I push. I push. I push. I constantly push. It grows tiresome, but I keep pushing. I often succeed. Succeed in what? I succeed in trying. Failure to achieve the goals set forth by others is okay with me. It has to be. I must acknowledge that my illness places upon me limitations that most of the people around me do not have. Thus, my expectation of myself is to try to use all of what little God gives me to work with.
- Scott
Posted by phidippus on August 22, 2012, at 6:49:14
In reply to Re: Too bad we aren't well enough to be scientists » Raisinb, posted by SLS on August 21, 2012, at 23:02:31
>I must acknowledge that my illness places upon me >limitations that most of the people around me do >not have.
My heart goes out to you, Scott. I wish we could hang out and play some co-op Portal 2.
There's something off, though. My intuition tells me that your basic attitude toward your illness is one of ill-fate. You speak of limitations when you should be seeing potential. You are not stuck. God has not handed you an ultimatum. If anything, he has given you a challenge you seem to overcome on a daily basis. I don't see you as functioning at some lower level. You have a beautiful mind that you have excercised well and can use without a moments hesitation. In fact, I'm jealous of your insight at times.
So, there is no doubt your intellectual functioning has not been comprimised. What, then is the real issue? Tell me about your depression and how it effects you.
On another note, maybe you need to rethink your medication regimen.
Eric
Posted by phidippus on August 22, 2012, at 6:51:09
In reply to Re: Too bad we aren't well enough to be scientists » SLS, posted by Raisinb on August 21, 2012, at 22:33:17
You make me want to cry. I suffer the same exact thing. Nothing like pacing around agitated because I've convinced myself I need to be doing more.
Eric
Posted by Alexei on August 22, 2012, at 7:35:55
In reply to Re: Too bad we aren't well enough to be scientists » SLS, posted by Raisinb on August 21, 2012, at 22:33:17
> I've been in states where I was so frantically doing everything I could think of to defeat my depression that I induced way more dysphoria because I was constantly beating myself up for not doing more or different things. Depression is great for inducing binds like that.
Yes, I've had the same thing happen many times. I would run myself into the ground with endless activity, attempting to chase my depression away, or move at insane speeds to try to out run it.
Neither one worked. It's not something I can outrun or beat into submission. I had to change my approach.
Posted by phidippus on August 22, 2012, at 7:57:39
In reply to Re: Too bad we aren't well enough to be scientists » phidippus, posted by SLS on August 21, 2012, at 20:33:52
>I think the most pervasive mistake made by people >on Psycho-Babble (and elsewhere) is to attempt to >compare their experience with mental illness to >those of others, and to question another's resolve >to function at any given level.
Why is it a mistake to compare my depression with another's? All around, the guises depression takes can be remarkably similar, hence our ability to relate with one another on this very site. We wouldn't be handing out advice if each experience were exotic.
>It sounds as if you are saying that I could have >defeated my depression long ago if I had only >known the trick to "do something
There's no trick and I never said long ago in a galaxy far far away...I'm saying if you keep doing, you will chip away at your depression-maybe not 'defeat' it, but reduce its control of your life.
>What didn't I do? What do I continue not to do?
Are you going to school? Do you have a job? Do you volunteer? Do you answer personal ads on Craigslist? Do you take dancing lessons? Have you hiked a 14er?
I would like to know more about what you do.
>When did you first discover this "trick"?
Its not a trick. Its something that works. I blame years of CBT, DBT and counseling. My therapist is always on me to keep doing stuff, keeping busy. It provides structure and keeps the mind from wandering into shark infested waters.
>Are you now cured of mental illness such that >you can discontinue treatment? If not, then why >haven't you defeated your illness by "doing >something"?
Now, now, Scott. It appears I am paying for saying 'defeating' or 'defeated'. A little touchy about my choice in rhetoric? And yes, the remission of my OCD is partly due to 'doing something'.
>you say that you could "hardly" move
Motor retardation. I felt like I was moving in Jello. I had a hard time manipulating the mouse and keyboard on my music workstation and everything seemed to be moving in slow motion-especially my thoughts. I also had this feeling that I just wanted to die.
I've been so depressed before I incurred Cotard Syndrome-the belief I was dead. Zyprexa helped with that.
>Can you better describe this experience? I would >like to compare it to what I have seen in others.
I thought it was a "pervasive mistake...to attempt to compare their experience with mental illness to those of others"?
By the way, Scott, I don't mean to offend you or piss you off. Come over and we'll play some Portal 2.
Eric
Posted by phidippus on August 22, 2012, at 7:59:45
In reply to Re: Too bad we aren't well enough to be scientists » Raisinb, posted by Alexei on August 22, 2012, at 7:35:55
How did you change your approach?
Eric
Posted by Raisinb on August 22, 2012, at 10:57:01
In reply to Re: Too bad we aren't well enough to be scientists » Raisinb, posted by SLS on August 21, 2012, at 23:02:31
Yes, and all my therapists tell me not to be so hard on myself. Not that it's that easy. I can't wake up and not be profoundly disappointed and angry at myself for not meeting my own expectations,
I wish there was an award or something for surviving with years of depressive illness. We all deserve it,
Posted by Raisinb on August 22, 2012, at 11:00:42
In reply to Re: Too bad we aren't well enough to be scientists » Raisinb, posted by Alexei on August 22, 2012, at 7:35:55
What did you change your approach to? How did you do things differently? I often still get stuck in this bind. It's really tough not to for me.
Posted by SLS on August 22, 2012, at 11:14:19
In reply to Re: Too bad we aren't well enough to be scientists » SLS, posted by phidippus on August 22, 2012, at 7:57:39
Eric.
You just don't get it.
Maybe you never had it.
Perhaps you once had it, but have quickly forgotten what it's like to have it.
You assume too much about me as you attempt to see me through eyes that never will. I exist to you only in words posted electronically. You don't even know how long it takes for me to type those words.
I am feeling better. I can read whole paragraphs now, but still not consecutively. Interestingly, I can write ten if I had to.
Anyway, you still make the mistake of judging the illness of others based upon your own experience, and expect them to be able to mirror your abilities. You expect people to chip away at their depression when they might not be able to even lift the hammer.
Depression has many faces. It takes an expert to be able to recognize them all. No two depressions look alike just as no two brains function alike. I am no expert and try not of quantify the suffering of others, especially publicly. What would motivate you to so with me? Am I too unintelligent to have thought to chip away at my illness as you have yours? Perhaps I am just lazy?
> Are you going to school? Do you have a job? Do you volunteer? Do you answer personal ads on Craigslist? Do you take dancing lessons? Have you hiked a 14er?
You just don't get it.
> > Can you better describe this experience? I would >like to compare it to what I have seen in others.
> I thought it was a "pervasive mistake...to attempt to compare their experience with mental illness to those of others"
It is. You missed the satire.
You are very knowledgeable about psychopharmacology and often give good advice about prescriptions for somatic treatments. I need as many ideas as I can get. However, what I don't need are prescriptions for making adjustments to my psyche and how to use that psyche to develop strategies to cope with my depressive illness. You don't have a clue.
I'm sure your advice to me would be appropriate for some other people - just not me. For me, you were wrong.
- Scott
Posted by SLS on August 22, 2012, at 11:20:26
In reply to Re: Too bad we aren't well enough to be scientists » SLS, posted by Raisinb on August 22, 2012, at 10:57:01
> Yes, and all my therapists tell me not to be so hard on myself. Not that it's that easy. I can't wake up and not be profoundly disappointed and angry at myself for not meeting my own expectations,
My guess is that you are not expecting of yourself any more than a healthy person would expect of themselves. Be angry at your illness and not at yourself. You are not the culprit. You are not the irresponsible one. You are not the talentless one, You are not the lazy one. You are not the unaccomplished one. You are not your illness, despite it affecting every waking moment of your life.
> I wish there was an award or something for surviving with years of depressive illness. We all deserve it,
BIG TIME !!!!
- Scott
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