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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 43. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on October 28, 2010, at 23:19:25
I'm experiencing periodic extreme anger right now over an issue I wrote about on social. I'm starting to wonder if something is wrong with my brain, or if this is a completely normal reaction.
I would like this anger to go away, but it keeps coming back. Would propranolol help me? Risperdal?
I get so enraged I feel like I want to kill something.
This can't be good for me.
Posted by Phillipa on October 29, 2010, at 0:03:16
In reply to Can't get over extreme anger, posted by Deneb on October 28, 2010, at 23:19:25
Haven't been to social but didn't you say you stopped your meds or some of them. I feel you should resume your prescribed dose. Phillipa
Posted by Deneb on October 29, 2010, at 0:07:53
In reply to Can't get over extreme anger, posted by Deneb on October 28, 2010, at 23:19:25
F*ck, I think I temporarily messed up my brain by skipping my meds. I don't usually get angry. I guess the effects of the med skipping take a few days to show up. F*ck. I think it's my borderline personality coming out. I swear mine is mostly biological.
I'm so freaking angry! Ahhh!
Posted by twinleaf on October 29, 2010, at 7:00:22
In reply to Re: Can't get over extreme anger, posted by Deneb on October 29, 2010, at 0:07:53
I think you are right, Deneb. Therapists who work with BPD say a much better name for it would be"emotional dysregulation". Researchers like Allan Schore have describe maturation of the brain which can be seen on an MRI after psychodynamic therapy. For now, medications are important. If, at some point, you choose psychodynamic therapy, your brain may change and mature enough that medication will become less central.
Posted by maxime on October 29, 2010, at 17:29:00
In reply to Can't get over extreme anger, posted by Deneb on October 28, 2010, at 23:19:25
Hi Deneb, have you ever gone through a DBT programme for people with BPD? I think you would find it to be one the most useful/best things you could do for yourself.
What upset you on Social?
Have you started back on your meds yet?
Maxime
Posted by Deneb on October 29, 2010, at 18:06:20
In reply to Re: Can't get over extreme anger » Deneb, posted by maxime on October 29, 2010, at 17:29:00
What upset me was this article from the Globe and Mail talking about how it is routine for medical students to practice pelvic exams on anaesthized women without their explicit consent. Apparently in Canada, the consent doesn't need to be explicit, it is implicit. So many of these women did not know they would be given pelvic exams by med students. I just got so angry about this! I started saying I hate med students and doctors and would never let one touch me.
I've asked pdoc about DBT, but she said that there are not DBT programs in Ottawa anymore. There used to be one, but I guess it ran out of funding or something. There is no DBT for me. I would like to do DBT, but I can't.
I got some much needed sleep today and I feel a lot better. I need a lot of sleep (around 10 hours a night), but lately I've been getting much less than that (like 5 or 6 hours). Today I slept about 15 hours and I feel so much better. I almost forgot my "morning Prozac" at 7 PM LOL, but I just took it.
Posted by maxime on October 29, 2010, at 19:16:41
In reply to Re: Can't get over extreme anger » maxime, posted by Deneb on October 29, 2010, at 18:06:20
Sleep is good. It calms the nerves.
Posted by maxime on October 29, 2010, at 19:26:49
In reply to Re: Can't get over extreme anger » maxime, posted by Deneb on October 29, 2010, at 18:06:20
Why don't you use your anger to write to the editor?
Posted by Deneb on October 29, 2010, at 20:00:31
In reply to Re: Can't get over extreme anger » Deneb, posted by maxime on October 29, 2010, at 19:26:49
Well, I actually learned that because of the outrage over this practice, doctors have now made it mandatory to have consent, but I am still angry about what happened in the past. Also I highly doubt this practice will be eliminated altogether. Who know what happens to people once they are anaesthetized? Without a video camera, the patient will never know.
Posted by Deneb on October 29, 2010, at 20:49:54
In reply to Re: Can't get over extreme anger » maxime, posted by Deneb on October 29, 2010, at 20:00:31
Help! I'm extremely angry once again. I can't get over this. I feel like getting revenge. I'm so freaking angry!
What should I do? Should I attempt to do progressive muscle relaxation? Take a propranolol? Take some Risperdal? What?
Ahhhh! I want to beat the crap out of something!
Posted by Deneb on October 29, 2010, at 21:07:25
In reply to Re: Can't get over extreme anger, posted by Deneb on October 29, 2010, at 20:49:54
I'm really upset right now! I don't know why this is affecting me so much! I'm so angry and upset! I just took both propranolol and risperdal and just hope I feel better soon!
I feel so bad! I almost want to hurt myself.
I think I need serious counselling for this issue. I wonder if I've been abused before and just don't remember it? This is just sooooo out of proportion to everything!
Posted by Deneb on October 29, 2010, at 21:14:22
In reply to Re: I'm so upset!, posted by Deneb on October 29, 2010, at 21:07:25
I'm sorry to be posting over 3 times in a row, but I am really distressed right now. I kind of feel like ODing or something. I'm just so upset. Please help me calm down! I hate this so much! I can't stand this!
Posted by maxime on October 29, 2010, at 21:42:54
In reply to Re: I'm so upset!, posted by Deneb on October 29, 2010, at 21:14:22
> I'm sorry to be posting over 3 times in a row, but I am really distressed right now. I kind of feel like ODing or something. I'm just so upset. Please help me calm down! I hate this so much! I can't stand this!
>
>Deneb, it is time to call the distress line.
I wish you well.
Posted by Deneb on October 29, 2010, at 22:16:29
In reply to Re: I'm so upset! » Deneb, posted by maxime on October 29, 2010, at 21:42:54
I'm getting sleepy from the Risperdal. I think I'm going to be OK. I'm not angry at the moment.
Posted by Willful on October 29, 2010, at 23:59:59
In reply to Re: I'm so upset! » maxime, posted by Deneb on October 29, 2010, at 22:16:29
You may need to adjust your medication regimen. Have you cut back recently on any of your meds, or skipped them?
These thoughts, as you realize, are extremely irrational and you need to get back on your meds, or possibly readjust the dosages.
This is obviously a precarious situation, so you need to act promptly to address it. Calling the distress line is a good idea, and certainly keeping up very strenuously with your meds.
I hope you feel better soon,
Willful
Posted by floatingbridge on October 30, 2010, at 0:46:32
In reply to Re: Can't get over extreme anger » maxime, posted by Deneb on October 29, 2010, at 18:06:20
Deneb,
I was reading today about ACT, acceptance and commitment therapy. It was compared favorably to DBT, and I think it is available in Canada.
I don't know much more about it. I came across it reading about disassociation and PTSD.
BTW, the pelvic exam without consent is very disturbing to me as well :(
Posted by Deneb on October 30, 2010, at 6:10:33
In reply to Re: I'm so upset!, posted by Willful on October 29, 2010, at 23:59:59
I've been skipping them on and off because I don't want to sleep so much. I'm busy looking for a job. I thought I'd be OK. I thought I was over my borderline personality.
I don't want to freaking depend on meds! Gawd, my condition isn't even supposed to improve with meds. I thought I had learned new ways to cope.
People with BPD are not supposed to need meds.
Posted by Deneb on October 30, 2010, at 6:12:10
In reply to Re: Can't get over extreme anger » Deneb, posted by floatingbridge on October 30, 2010, at 0:46:32
Thanks for that information floatingbridge. I will look into that.
DBT is available in Canada too, but I guess just not in Ottawa. :/
Posted by maxime on October 30, 2010, at 6:54:00
In reply to Re: I'm so upset! » Willful, posted by Deneb on October 30, 2010, at 6:10:33
> I've been skipping them on and off because I don't want to sleep so much. I'm busy looking for a job. I thought I'd be OK. I thought I was over my borderline personality.
>
> I don't want to freaking depend on meds! Gawd, my condition isn't even supposed to improve with meds. I thought I had learned new ways to cope.
>
> People with BPD are not supposed to need meds.That's not true about the meds. I don't have time to find it now, but there are meds to help BPD. An antipsychotic is one of them ... your risperdal
Posted by Maxime on October 30, 2010, at 8:22:40
In reply to Re: I'm so upset!, posted by Willful on October 29, 2010, at 23:59:59
> You may need to adjust your medication regimen. Have you cut back recently on any of your meds, or skipped them?
>
> These thoughts, as you realize, are extremely irrational and you need to get back on your meds, or possibly readjust the dosages.
>
> This is obviously a precarious situation, so you need to act promptly to address it. Calling the distress line is a good idea, and certainly keeping up very strenuously with your meds.
>
> I hope you feel better soon,
>
> WillfulDeneb admits to not taking her meds. I guess they were working. Deneb if you don't like the way a med makes you feel, maybe you could go see your pdoc and see if there is something else you could try. Abilify is now available in Canada. I don't think there is as much sedation with it as in Canada. Good luck!
Posted by Deneb on October 30, 2010, at 9:16:14
In reply to Re: I'm so upset! » Willful, posted by Maxime on October 30, 2010, at 8:22:40
I think my nightly meds make me sleep more. It's hard for me to get up in the morning. I don't really tell if it is because of the meds or if it is because I just love to sleep!
I do love sleep so I don't have a problem with sleeping more in theory, except when I have to get a lot of stuff done. Up to me, I'd sleep 10+ hours every day.
Sometimes I stay up too late and I have to get up early so I skip my nightly meds in order to not be too tired to get up in the morning. I've been doing that lately because of my job hunt. I had a lot of workshops and appointments with my employment specialist. When I wasn't looking for a job, I would have no problems just sleeping through the afternoon.
I'm pretty sure I can't get Abilify. I'm sure it isn't covered under the Trillium drug program. Even Inderal LA isn't covered. Generic propranolol is covered though. I'm pretty sure Abilify is one of those ultra expensive drugs so there is no way I'd be able to afford it.
Also I think pdoc's goal is for me to not have to take any antipsychotic at all. She doesn't like them.
Posted by Dinah on October 30, 2010, at 11:23:57
In reply to Can't get over extreme anger, posted by Deneb on October 28, 2010, at 23:19:25
IMO, borderline personality disorder is the behavioral outcome of underlying physiological reactivity.
You can learn to change your behavioral patterns, but that doesn't change the physiology.
When your life is stable, you *may* be able to cut back on your meds. Doing it when your life is not stable may not be advisable.
Even if you do cut back, slowly so as to make certain your life remains stable, you may always need to monitor your reactions and take meds as needed. That's what I do now and what I always will need to do.
Posted by Dinah on October 30, 2010, at 11:27:19
In reply to Re: I'm so upset! » Maxime, posted by Deneb on October 30, 2010, at 9:16:14
> Also I think pdoc's goal is for me to not have to take any antipsychotic at all. She doesn't like them.
When your life is stable, and if you choose to work on this goal, could you please ask your pdoc to increase the frequency of your appointments as you reduce your meds, and to not ever reduce your meds as she is going away on vacation? She's done that at least once, probably twice, and it annoyed me no end, even though in many things I really like your pdoc.
You can have her contact me if she likes and I'll tell her in person.
Posted by Deneb on October 30, 2010, at 12:04:23
In reply to Re: I'm so upset! » Deneb, posted by Dinah on October 30, 2010, at 11:27:19
Wow Dinah, you'd really talk to pdoc? Thanks! You're a good friend. :-)
Posted by Dinah on October 30, 2010, at 12:30:23
In reply to Re: I'm so upset! » Dinah, posted by Deneb on October 30, 2010, at 12:04:23
Yes, I am a friend.
And I feel *that* strongly about her reducing your meds right before going on a long vacation.
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