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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 75. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by linkadge on February 16, 2005, at 13:57:31
I waited neirly half a year to see a psychiatrist.
The guy asks me questions about my family and my sex life for an hour, and then tells me to come back later.
I swear I am going to kill myself this time.
I just can't take it. I just can't take it anymore. I can't hold on any longer. I have no hope. Doctors just mess with you. They don't give a crap. They don't feel the pain you do. What's it matter to them if you get better now, or 10 years from now.
More buisness for them. I can't take it anymore.
Linkadge
Posted by jay on February 16, 2005, at 14:39:43
In reply to Its over for me. New psychiatrist is hopeless, posted by linkadge on February 16, 2005, at 13:57:31
Hey I know it really sucks with many doctors...many don't seem to respond to the pain we are going through. But keep trying, because I found a family doctor who has gone to great ends to try everything medication wise with me, and he is deeply empathetic towards my pain. I realize I am *very* lucky to have him as my doctor. Keep up the fight....you will win..
Best,
Jay
Posted by Nixon on February 16, 2005, at 15:52:01
In reply to Its over for me. New psychiatrist is hopeless, posted by linkadge on February 16, 2005, at 13:57:31
Hey Linkadge,
I have seen your posts here and you are well informed and intelligent. You may be frustrated but I believe you can find someone you connect with. I hope you do shortly and the only question I would have for you is what was the reason for 6 months lead time for an appointment? Hang in. JN
Posted by linkadge on February 16, 2005, at 15:57:40
In reply to Re: Its over for me. New psychiatrist is hopeless » linkadge, posted by Nixon on February 16, 2005, at 15:52:01
There are no psychiatrists in my area. The waiting time to find one for me was 6 months.
There will be no next time. I'm going today.
I can't wait any longer. This is it. Everybody keeps putting me off. I cannot hope any longer. Every time I hope something comes along and steps on it.Linkadge
Posted by Nixon on February 16, 2005, at 16:08:23
In reply to Re: Its over for me. New psychiatrist is hopeless, posted by linkadge on February 16, 2005, at 15:57:40
Hey,
Do you have ANY meds? Is there a hospital near you? What did you want to get out of the Psychiatrist? Have you been diagnosed? What's up?
Posted by Carper on February 16, 2005, at 16:14:11
In reply to Its over for me. New psychiatrist is hopeless, posted by linkadge on February 16, 2005, at 13:57:31
> I waited neirly half a year to see a psychiatrist.
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> The guy asks me questions about my family and my sex life for an hour, and then tells me to come back later.
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> I swear I am going to kill myself this time.
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> I just can't take it. I just can't take it anymore. I can't hold on any longer. I have no hope. Doctors just mess with you. They don't give a crap. They don't feel the pain you do. What's it matter to them if you get better now, or 10 years from now.
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> More buisness for them. I can't take it anymore.
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> Linkadge
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> Please don't. Try this. It's a self therapeutic technique of which the core principle is that those of us who are depressed did not get enough love. This is not to blame or accuse, perhaps we just needed more than anyone could give. I call it "Grieving Therapy".You mention crying a lot. I have found that there is a way of turning an ability to be able to cry to advantage. It may not appeal to you if you find that crying “makes my nose bleed" but perhaps I could describe it just in case. The technique is as follows:
1) You need a room where you feel comfortable expressing your hurt and will not be disturbed for a couple of hours. It should be warm and semi-darkened. You can sit or lie down. The best position I find is the semi-supine position. Comfortably supported by cushions at a corner of the room.
2) This is optional. Have some music loaded up ready if at any stage in the therapy you feel it would help. Music which has an “emotional” connection for you is best and this is a matter of personal choice. I find hymns, carols, folk songs and some classical music good.
3) Imagine there is a person (or persons) with you. This person, unlike any real human being, any real therapist is 100% loving towards you. They are totally respectful, sympathetic, empathetic and kind. They care for and understand your hurts and are there to support you during your expression of hurt and to share your hurt. This person, or persons may be male, female, young, old, present alone or in number. They are whoever you want them to be. This fantasy represents a way of giving love to yourself. Depressed people need love much more than most.
4) Start to practice Repetitive Sighing Breathing (RSB). This simply involves consciously making every breath a sigh. Inhaling up into the chest then a relaxed out breath down thru the abdomen. There is no over breathing, the rate is what is most comfortable.
Continue to practice RSB, supported by your fantasy figure(s), perhaps with some music till the tears start to flow. Go with the crying till it dies down then return to the RSB. Continue in this way till there are no more tears for that session. At this point I generally feel much less depressed.
I have no information as to how other people could be affected by practising this technique. It has on occasion taken me temporarily to some scary places. I have found it to be a useful addition to medication.
Whether you decide to try this or not I wish you peace of mind and will be thinking of you.
Carper
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Posted by linkadge on February 16, 2005, at 16:24:34
In reply to Re: Its over for me. New psychiatrist is hopeless » linkadge, posted by Nixon on February 16, 2005, at 16:08:23
I'm zoloft. I've been to the hopsital before, but I just don't get any better there. I get worse.
Its hopeless. I expected the doctor to change something, try something, *do* something different.
Not send me on my way when I'm like this.THe pain is unbearable. Every second feels like an eternity.
They just listen to so many patients complaining they get desensitized.
I've got to go. I cannot wait any longer.
This time its final. Tonight is planning night.
Linkadge
Posted by TamaraJ on February 16, 2005, at 16:31:03
In reply to Re: Its over for me. New psychiatrist is hopeless, posted by linkadge on February 16, 2005, at 15:57:40
Linkadge,
You mentioned once when we had an exchange of posts on the alternative board the region you live in, so I will just put this out there. Can you call one of the bigger hospitals, maybe a teaching hospital, in Toronto to see if you can get in to see a pdoc willing to take on your case ASAP? We both live in the same province, and I think Toronto is about 2 hours or so from where you live (I am not always the best judge of distance). It will mean some travel (GO from Burlington or whatever ???). Anyways, you have put some much effort into things already, perhaps you you muster up some more perserverance and continue to be creative and pursue options outside your immediate vicinity.
Anyways, just a thought FWIW.
Tamara
(formerly known as jujube)> There are no psychiatrists in my area. The waiting time to find one for me was 6 months.
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> There will be no next time. I'm going today.
> I can't wait any longer. This is it. Everybody keeps putting me off. I cannot hope any longer. Every time I hope something comes along and steps on it.
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Posted by linkadge on February 16, 2005, at 16:35:50
In reply to Re: Its over for me. New psychiatrist is hopeless » linkadge, posted by TamaraJ on February 16, 2005, at 16:31:03
I don't have it in me. I need somebody to help me because I cannot help myself.
I cannot post any longer.
Linkadge
Posted by TamaraJ on February 16, 2005, at 16:45:43
In reply to Re: Its over for me. New psychiatrist is hopeless, posted by linkadge on February 16, 2005, at 16:35:50
Linkadge,
Oh God, I can not sit by and watch this happen to someone so young. Please let me know what I can do to help. I am about 4 hours from Toronto, but I will make calls from here and try to help you in any way I can. Just don't give up. You will get the help you need.
Tamara
Posted by Phillipa on February 16, 2005, at 17:41:39
In reply to Re: Its over for me. New psychiatrist is hopeless » linkadge, posted by TamaraJ on February 16, 2005, at 16:45:43
Linkage; I've heard you this way before and you survived. Somehow you survived. You have to do it again. I agree with the Poster above. Babble her, you need someone near you that understands the "system" and is calm enough to think straight. Please do not do something you will regret. You need to be in the hospital now. I really, really care. Remember you are my adopted Son! Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by Nixon on February 16, 2005, at 17:45:31
In reply to Re: Its over for me. New psychiatrist is hopeless, posted by linkadge on February 16, 2005, at 16:35:50
> I don't have it in me. I need somebody to help me because I cannot help myself.
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> I cannot post any longer.
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> LinkadgeHey Link you still there?
I am in the New York Metropolitan area not Canada so I am not familiar with Canada's policies regarding emergency care. Do you have any other meds other than zoloft? JN
Posted by linkadge on February 16, 2005, at 18:31:07
In reply to Re: Its over for me. New psychiatrist is hopeless » linkadge, posted by Nixon on February 16, 2005, at 17:45:31
I've just been waiting so long. Waiting for this med to kick in, or that med to kick in. Waiting for this doctor or that doctor. No relief. None whatsoever. I think about suicide many many times a day. I just can't take it any longer.
Posted by Nixon on February 16, 2005, at 18:50:41
In reply to Re: Its over for me. New psychiatrist is hopeless, posted by linkadge on February 16, 2005, at 18:31:07
> I've just been waiting so long. Waiting for this med to kick in, or that med to kick in. Waiting for this doctor or that doctor. No relief. None whatsoever. I think about suicide many many times a day. I just can't take it any longer.
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> Hey Link,Are you on a mood stabilizer/AED of any kind?
Posted by jerrympls on February 16, 2005, at 19:05:23
In reply to Re: Its over for me. New psychiatrist is hopeless, posted by linkadge on February 16, 2005, at 18:31:07
> I've just been waiting so long. Waiting for this med to kick in, or that med to kick in. Waiting for this doctor or that doctor. No relief. None whatsoever. I think about suicide many many times a day. I just can't take it any longer.
>Link-
I've been where you are. Your posts are some of the posts that helped me get through times when I thought dying was the only answer. Yes, doctors suck. I fought - I fought until I got in to see a doc at the University of Minnesota - a teaching hospital/clinic. Only then was I given the care I deserved. Does it suck to have to FIGHT and FIGHT just to have a doctor listen to you and help you? You bet your *rse it does - but you can't give up because of them. Don't let them beat you. I know it hurts - I know it hurts so bad it's unbearable. Let Tamara help you if she can - she offered. Take her help - you're exhausted and it sounds as if you're all alone. Well, we are here for you. Keep posting - don't plan - don't leave us - please.
Love
Jerry
Posted by Maxime on February 16, 2005, at 21:15:19
In reply to Its over for me. New psychiatrist is hopeless, posted by linkadge on February 16, 2005, at 13:57:31
You must live in Canada if you waited that long. I waited 9 months to see one and he told that if I had a boyfriend and intimacy I would be fine. ?????
I was LIVID! I yelled at him and asked him how he managed to get his degree etc.Luckily I was volunteering for a mental health group and they gave me the name of someone who works out of his home. I was able to see him in 2 weeks! He is the best pdoc I've ever had.
HOWEVER I am deeply deeply suicidal and depressed right now. Every night I think about how I will kill myself.
I understand your pain. I would be a hypocrite if I told you not to end your life. So I will leave that to other members.
But I sure hope I see a post from you again soon.
I'm thinking about you ....
Hugs,
Maxime
> I waited neirly half a year to see a psychiatrist.
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> The guy asks me questions about my family and my sex life for an hour, and then tells me to come back later.
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> I swear I am going to kill myself this time.
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> I just can't take it. I just can't take it anymore. I can't hold on any longer. I have no hope. Doctors just mess with you. They don't give a crap. They don't feel the pain you do. What's it matter to them if you get better now, or 10 years from now.
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> More buisness for them. I can't take it anymore.
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Posted by Maxime on February 16, 2005, at 21:22:24
In reply to Re: Its over for me. New psychiatrist is hopeless » linkadge, posted by TamaraJ on February 16, 2005, at 16:31:03
I am so angry. I hate our health care. I hate that we have to wait so long to see a specialist. The only way Link is going to be able to see a new pdoc is to go to an ER and then he will be admitted which may actually be a good thing. He needs to get away from the daily stress of life. To see a new pdoc will he need another referal from his GP?
Tamara, you are such a good person to offer to help. I live in Montreal. Things are worse here than in Ontario.
Sigh.
Maxime
Posted by TamaraJ on February 16, 2005, at 21:33:22
In reply to Re: Its over for me. New psychiatrist is hopeless, posted by Maxime on February 16, 2005, at 21:22:24
There is no doubt that the health care system in Canada can be beyond a pain in the *ss to navigate. And, in spite of that, all we seem to continue to get is political rhetoric and partisan sniping when it comes to what best for Canadians in terms of a health care system. Just fix it already!
I have had to see 3 specialists during the past year, and I have been fortunate that the longest I have had to wait is a few weeks. But, my family doctor can be a bit of a squeaky wheel, and for that I am grateful. I got in to see a pdoc (a relatively good one, although a bit conservative), within 2 weeks I think only because my gp was good, personal friends with him and he took me on out of respect for her.
And, I know what you mean about the situation in Quebec. I have friends that live on the Quebec side, and it sickens me to see what they have to go through to get good, not to mention compassionate, care.
Sorry for the rant. Nobody needed to hear that.
Tamara
> I am so angry. I hate our health care. I hate that we have to wait so long to see a specialist. The only way Link is going to be able to see a new pdoc is to go to an ER and then he will be admitted which may actually be a good thing. He needs to get away from the daily stress of life. To see a new pdoc will he need another referal from his GP?
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> Tamara, you are such a good person to offer to help. I live in Montreal. Things are worse here than in Ontario.
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> Sigh.
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> Maxime
Posted by mike13 on February 16, 2005, at 22:08:43
In reply to Re: Its over for me. New psychiatrist is hopeless » Maxime, posted by TamaraJ on February 16, 2005, at 21:33:22
I think you're giving up on this P-doc to easily.. I mean isn't it usually protocoll..at least in my experience to acquire as much info from the patient in the first session... then begin the actual therapy after he reviews it?? This has happened to me both with my therapists and p-doc who are both great.. Nothing was really accomplished the first visit.. just more or less him getting to know me and my situation..
What's up with canada..In illinois there are plenty of good p-docs
Posted by Phillipa on February 16, 2005, at 22:17:00
In reply to Re: Its over for me. New psychiatrist is hopeless, posted by mike13 on February 16, 2005, at 22:08:43
It varies with the region. I believe there is better medical in the Eastern USA, and probably out in California. Here in NC, you have to be in one of the larger cities like Raleigh, or Charlotte. Then, also up North they are not as conservative. I'm an old Connecticut Yankee! Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by linkadge on February 16, 2005, at 22:50:35
In reply to Re: Its over for me. New psychiatrist is hopeless, posted by mike13 on February 16, 2005, at 22:08:43
I understand that it can take time. I know they need to gather information, but I feel so helpless when they ask so few important questions.
They don't seem to understand the suffering.
If a person is in a car accident, and they are writhing in phsical pain, the first thing the doctors do is give them morphine no questions asked. They don't sit there for days, weeks, months, years and ask them questions like. Hmm "how long before you noticed the car was going off the road" or what do you think was the main cause of the accident".
They don't do that because they can see the pain that the person is in. They know that every second of that pain is pure hell.
I'm in the same pain. It doesn't end. I just can't sit around while they ask me questions and don't even offer the slightest glimmer of hope.
Pain and waiting just don't mix.
Thanks for your help Tamera, but I can't put you through that. I've got to wait longer. Wait to see this guy again. No doctor will see me if I don't give this one a fair chance.
I'm just so depressed. I can't understand why God even permitted this kind of experience. I don't think I could ever have restored faith after all of this.
Its a nightmare. Nothing else can explain it. The pain I have is unbelievable.
Sometimes I think I am in hell already. I just don't know why there isn't somebody who wanted to see me better. Somebody who said to me "I am not going to leave you untill you feel better". God hasn't been that person. He has left me. That is why people kill themselves, because dispite their pain their creator does nothing.
This is terrable. I've never felt so much pain. I cry so hard. But it doesn't help. Its the futility I feel. Why can't god be more merciful?
Why is it every man for himself in this cruel world? Why must hope be so fleeting. Why was I born? Why can't I just die?
Posted by TamaraJ on February 16, 2005, at 23:07:44
In reply to Re: Its over for me. New psychiatrist is hopeless, posted by linkadge on February 16, 2005, at 22:50:35
Whatever you decide Linkadge, but know that my offer stands. I don't know when your next appointment is with the pdoc, but one thing I just wanted to suggest you do, or see if you have already done, is to tell the pdoc's secretary that you want to be called if another patient cancels an appointment so that you have the opportunity to take that appointment and get in for a follow-up visit at the earliest opportunity.
Keep reaching out Linkadge when you are up to it. People care.
Tamara
Posted by ed_uk on February 17, 2005, at 8:28:18
In reply to Re: Its over for me. New psychiatrist is hopeless, posted by linkadge on February 16, 2005, at 22:50:35
Link,
It has to be time to try Nardil, you could combine it with a little Zyprexa. You will need to be demanding of your new pdoc, you will have to ask for the medicines you need.
Best,
Ed.
Posted by Bill LL on February 17, 2005, at 9:40:34
In reply to Re: Its over for me. New psychiatrist is hopeless, posted by linkadge on February 16, 2005, at 22:50:35
I know EXACTLY what you mean when you say that you are so miserable that every second feels like an eternity. That is how I felt for years.
I'm doing great right now on a combination of Cymbalta (60 mg) and Strattera (30 mg).
I get all my meds from a regular family internist. I don't want or need anyone asking about my family or sex life. My problems are clearly a chemical imbalance.
Why don't you just go to your regular doctor instead of a psychiatrist?
Posted by just so sad on February 17, 2005, at 9:46:02
In reply to Re: Its over for me. New psychiatrist is hopeless, posted by linkadge on February 16, 2005, at 22:50:35
Linkadge,
When you do go to your doc, print off what you wrote in your last post and have him/her read it. It is so powerful and really explains the pain you are in to someone who - although they may understand the mechanism of depression - has never experienced it for themselves. I really think it would help your doc understand your pain better. I know when I'm sitting in their office, instead of hiding under the covers at home, it's hard to relate how you feel. Please try this. And know that others care for you and don't want you to die. Please don't hurt yourself - there will be help soon.
Sad
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