![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 619 to 643 of 948. Go back in thread:
Posted by BarbaraCat on September 14, 2003, at 13:19:24
In reply to Re: Transporting Arvo Part » BarbaraCat, posted by katia on September 14, 2003, at 4:31:41
Thanks for the support on the writing, Katia. I needed that. I've been pecking around on a couple books that are practically writing themselves and still, I can't seem to find the focus to just sit down and do it. It seems overwhelming at this point, all those characters and story lines, and I tend to distract when I'm feeling overwhelmed.
Not that writing here is counterproductive in any way. Writing in general, especially here and in my journal, is so much more helpful to me than a therapist. I can gather my thoughts together instead of having to explain the same old story yet another time for someone else to therapize. All that stuff about not being listened to and feeling powerless as a child doesn't apply when I'm writing, even if I'm the only one listening. So, I will go to Amazon.com today and order the "Arvo Part" CD and I promise to sit down at my laptop and work on my book.
About the D, I've promised to limit myself to moderatation only on the weekends and major holidays. I'm finding that takes the pressure off and it's something I can commit to and live with. The discomfort of the 'next day' always strengthens my resolve to figure out a way to limit the number and size of those glasses of the stuff! As long as it's not wine, it's in moderation and I'm in bed before 1:00, I'm fine the next day.
Here's a question for you. I know we were in the midst of an intense couple of posts but I didn't realize anything was wrong. Was it because some time elapsed before I was able to respond? My husband had a double hernia operation and I was busy taking care of him so I fell behind on my posts, but what was it that upset or hurt you? This is not to criticize you at all, it just surprised me that you were obviously upset and it would help me to know if there's anything I need to be aware of in myself? The idea of my causing a friend pain isn't OK with me and something I did seemed to bring up some deep pain for you. But as we're discovering about projection, this is probably something else besides what you or I do here and now. So you wanna continue with our self- realization exploration? I think it's fascinating and very enlightening, and Dr. Bob will probably redirect us. - Barb
PS, Have you read "The Four Agreements", by Don Miguel Ruiz? Another great book I keep coming back to. If I could only keep just ONE of those four agreements for even 1 day...
> Barb,
> I just have to exhale because you responded to me. I'll read your post tomorrow in more detail. What I can respond to right now...
>
> >What kind of music is it?
> The best you can imagine. B/c when you imagine the thoughts coming to you -- they are simply within a backdrop of this beautiful man's music. *tear drop*.
>
> Tolles's stuff. Amazingly enough, when I was in a suicidal depression last year, unable to sleep, sitting up in bed holding my head, crawling sobbing and drooling on the floor to the bathroom to stare at me in the mirror, bags and wrinkles and I'M SO SAD!!!; I'd put his tape on. At 4 am I'd listen to him and again at 8 before I walked and walked for miles in the forest. breathing and trying to "be here now". It did help. really. There's just such a story behind that w/ me. and I partook in too many glasses of d. I feel sick!
> thanks for responding Barb. I needed that.
> I'll respond tomorrow. and there's nothing you should be doing with your energy BUT JUST writing.
> I might just cut you off and force you to channel your writing energies into something else. Not that I don't love to hear from you!!!!
> Love,
> KAtia
>
Posted by katia on September 14, 2003, at 14:04:11
In reply to Re: Transporting Arvo Part » katia, posted by BarbaraCat on September 14, 2003, at 13:19:24
Wonderful to hear about the books! Inspiration is sometimes hard to come by, but when it hits, act on it! (not too much tho') :-)
No, there's nothing you did. I was just feeling sensitive and overly paranoid everyone was rejecting me and avoiding me because of what happened on Friday evening. A wound from last summer was reopened it felt with a dagger. That's what is was; nothing about you. So don't worry! I just needed to check it out before I blew it up in my mind more!
>>PS, Have you read "The Four Agreements", by Don Miguel Ruiz? Another great book I keep coming back to. If I could only keep just ONE of those four agreements for even 1 day...
I think we're on a similar path...yes, a friend recommended that book to me almost a year ago. I haven't read it yet tho'. It's when I was in the intensity of two conflicts; one with my (then) boyfriend and with my (then) best friend.
I'll check it out!
I had a big " bender " as they say last night. I don't know what happened; other than after Friday, I spiralled downward and I had one glass of putrid swamp juice and then felt better - good actually. and went out and then came home and wrote my aunt a letter for two hours! didn't get to bed 'til 3. I feel wiped out today. I had very little sleep on Friday b/c I was a wreck. But as soon as I drank, I got very social and a bit "manic". It's odd how I can go from depressed state to an elevated state just by drinking.
I have to work tonight - no fun with the way I feel. I won't beat myself up over it. Rather I'm having compassion for myself as this is not easy.
I started the Lam yesterday as well. geez. I'm all screwed up. don't know what's what. I have to check my body for the rash.
take care,
Katia
Posted by katia on September 14, 2003, at 14:08:56
In reply to Re: serotonergic?, posted by fluffy on September 14, 2003, at 12:39:02
Hi Katy,
Isn't it amazing? You and I as well, have a similar history with this. I look back over the years at my journals and I just shake my head and sigh. I was so tormented and I was just trying to figure it out. I too felt it was something I needed to figure out from my past as the baggage just kept piling up. I also feel in a better space. Not necessarily b/c I'm stable, but b/c I'm finally addressing it with medication.Interesting. I take a bit of Serquel for sleep on occasion. It helps, but for me I feel slightly low the next day.
take care,
Katia> > All in all, I feel loads better than I did a year ago. I read my diary from then to check if I had teeth clenching...OH MY GOD!! I was such a wreck!! Pages and pages of how I was really normal and just having problems with my past. It never occurred to me that I had a chemical imbalance. I remember crying and crying and feeling suicidal then. Worlds away from where i am now. I have the LUXURY of complaining about side effects!
>
> I'm feeling close to normal today, and I just hope that I can get a normal night's sleep w/o the benzo.
>
> Thanks so much for the info Barb-cat. I need to bookmark that post!
>
> I hope you (and all) are well,
> Katy
Posted by fluffy on September 14, 2003, at 14:45:36
In reply to Re: serotonergic?, posted by fluffy on September 14, 2003, at 12:39:02
Hello all--
I did a search for Lithium+serotonergic and came up with some information. It seems that a couple of other people on this board reported similar side effects. And although it is rare, some people who take Li can have akathesia side effects and/or serotonin syndrome. Maybe that's what happened. Got to talk to doc tomorrow.
Katy
Posted by BarbaraCat on September 14, 2003, at 19:05:59
In reply to Re: Transporting Arvo Part » BarbaraCat, posted by katia on September 14, 2003, at 14:04:11
Hi Katia and Katy,
Katia, do you have a particular Arvo Part to recommend? Amazon has 137 hits for him!! The reviewers all seem to love his music.Ladies, I surely can relate with the upheavals you're going through. Not the same situations, but similar in how terribly uncomfortable it feels to be in that volatility and how exhausting it is to be bouncing all over the place emotionally and physically. I'm probably 2 years ahead of you with the Bipolar dx, adjusting to new meds, desperately trying to find some equilibrium and a good night's sleep. I have an insight based on my own experience that you might relate to (as we all seem to be doing for each other). One year ago around this time, I was a wreck, my nerves and emotions were all over. I was already taking lithium and I think I was taking Lam as well, but not very much.
We live in a rural area in foothills terrain and the main road can be hair raising especially in the winter when it's foggy and dark. It's really not so bad at all now that I'm used to it, but the first few winters here I was through some very tough times. I could barely drive myself and would white-knuckle it the whole way collapsing on the bed unable to do a thing but sob once I got home.
My husband and I were working a contract position at the same company and he would drive us home. Every single night I would either be curled up in fetal position moaning, or shrieking 'Slow down! I can't stand this!' and we'd have to wait by the side of the road until I calmed down enough to continue. My husband would just roll his eyes and humor me because he knows better. But reaching the home stretch was even worse because I was CONVINCED that I'd find at least one if not all of our cats' mangled furry little bodies run over by trucks and strewn all over the quiet country road we live on. Or if they weren't all accounted for within the first 30 minutes of arriving, I'd be CERTAIN that a coyote had gotten them and was out haunting the streets with a flashlight calling for them or looking in the bushes for their mangled little bodies. Life was a series of trajedies for the kid, all products of my poor fried imagination. Any time I start getting pissed at my husband, I think about all he's put up with and it brings the annoyance level down a notch or two.
Needless to say, my work suffered and that caused stress. This wasn't anything new and that level of anxiety and dread were with me off and on for many years before. But it was becoming a chronic condition that was interferring with everything. I couldn't go overnight anywhere without being tormented with thoughts of the house and cats getting blown away in a freak tornado. There were real problems as well, serious financial problems, health issues, but I knew I was overreacting to everything and could not help it. Sleep? Hah! Not without my arsenal of sleep meds, and I'd frequently wake up in a panic and not be able to get back to sleep.
I'd always clucked and smirked at those 'nervous women' it's so easy to make fun of, but here I now was, after a rather wild and crazy earlier life, a pathetic nervous woman. Benzos helped alot once I decided I needed something. I should have started taking them before this panic set in, but it was still a constant feeling of fingernails on a blackboard. Not only that but I was really constipated. Maybe not bruxism (I'd already had that one) but bad enough. A great day consisted of being able to plop little marbles into the toilet and it didn't improve much from there. A bad day was pretty damn awful. I look back on my journals as well, Katy, and am amazed that I survived such horrible misery on all levels of my being.
I was really in a precarious place, ping-ponging all over the place and felt that I would really die if I didn't find relief. When it got too bad I'd to to the emergency room, mainly to feel like I was doing something to get help, but nothing really helped that much so I was feeling very despondent that this was my lot. Alcohol was the ONLY THING that could lift me out of it immediately (and they wonder why we drink) but that became not an option with the fibromyalgia flares that were getting worse.
I was thinking about all this yesterday as I was zooming around the curves in the road - at night, enjoying the little zippy thrill feelings and thinking 'Wow, no way could I have done this last year!'. What a difference from back then when a little thrill might have sent me into orbit. Life was hell with occasional breaks, but I was exhausted from the constant strain, really depleted and out of whack in every way. There was no middle ground. I was either totally exhausted and out of it or severely agitated and despondent. Those madcap manic sprees were by this time a fond memory.
I guess I'm relating this as an 'inspirational story' to show that yes, it is possible to settle down and heal and eventually feel better. I've come so far since then, even with my Mom's death and the blips I've had since then. I'm not sure what it's due to, finding the right meds and reaching equilibrium with them, finding a great naturopath who is treating hormonal imbalances, whatever. Really, not much is all that different medicinally (well, actually, the hormonal thing has helped hugely). But something finally clicked and I'm so thankful that I made it through. This stability has persisted long enough now to trust it and, except for some bumps along the way, it is expanding. There was a reason I so anxious, not because I was weird or defective or didn't try hard enough. I was out of balance and couldn't think clearly, and now that I'm getting back in balance things are much more straightforward. I still worry about the kitties and I still have lots of problems, but the biggest thing is that I now know I can handle WHATEVER comes up, not explode, and even grow to appreciate the adventures (it's only a movie).
I think that if I had only been able go back in time to tell myself 'You're going to make it. It will take time, but have faith, it will get better!', maybe I would have relaxed a bit and not wore myself out so badly. But maybe not, because it's so hard to believe that we'll ever get better, even if God proclaimed it Him/Her self. But perhaps you can stretch a little and pretend that this is a letter to you from your future selves that you are making it and you will get better. How can I know this? Because of the commitment and heart you're putting into this journey. It's the Hero's Journey and you win no matter what and incidently, get to feeling better as well.
It's the fear that it will never get better and we won't be able to stand it that is the worst part of all of this. Isn't this so? So have faith, dear friends. I'll bet a short time from now when your meds kick in, or something else settles into place you'll view this time with amazement at how far you've come and how much you've learned, and will think you're some pretty hot mamas for persisting in the face of some Super High Intensity Training. - Barbara
Posted by katia on September 15, 2003, at 2:46:47
In reply to Arvo Part and story 4 Katy, Katia, posted by BarbaraCat on September 14, 2003, at 19:05:59
Wow Barb,
Thanks for that. I really appreciate it.
The cd I have is "alina".
It's piano and violin.I'll write more later. Simply, it's good to know you.
Katia
Posted by Dr. Bob on September 15, 2003, at 19:18:03
In reply to Arvo Part and story 4 Katy, Katia, posted by BarbaraCat on September 14, 2003, at 19:05:59
> Katia, do you have a particular Arvo Part to recommend? Amazon has 137 hits for him!! The reviewers all seem to love his music.
>
> Ladies, I surely can relate with the upheavals you're going through...Sorry to interrupt, but I'd like to redirect the discussion that doesn't have to do with medication to Psycho-Social-Babble. Here's a link:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20030913/msgs/260402.html
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by 2lisa on September 22, 2003, at 22:51:49
In reply to Sean/andrewb and Susan. Hints for your down days!, posted by Cynthia on August 8, 1999, at 23:35:52
I have been looking for Dexedrine Spansule to purchase. Does anyone have a good website to buy this product. I have looked over the internet but I get alot of warnings and other stuff but no where to purchase this item. Can someone please reply to this at xxx
thanks
Posted by Dr. Bob on September 22, 2003, at 23:18:35
In reply to Re: Sean/andrewb and Susan. Hints for your down days! » Cynthia, posted by 2lisa on September 22, 2003, at 22:51:49
> I have been looking for Dexedrine Spansule to purchase. Does anyone have a good website to buy this product.
Just a reminder, please don't use this site to exchange information that could be used to import into the US prescription medication without a prescription:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#illegal
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by ktykat91582 on September 23, 2003, at 17:26:03
In reply to for barbaracat.......lexapro and depakote » BarbaraCat, posted by joebob on July 15, 2003, at 13:23:08
i have been seeing the psydoc for over a year now and she finally told me she thinks i am either A. Bipolar or B. cyclothymia. can someone please tell me in understandable terms about these conditions...she has put me on buspirone and lexapro..will these help me?..ive been on buspirone for 1 month now and i see no change..i feel like im getting worse...i feel like theres no point in life one minute but im exstatic about my life the next.i feel like im losing my mind and watching myslef go down the drain....i have 2 babies i need to think about and i really need some help and info on these conditions....hell i might just need someone to talk to about it.....but if anyone knows how i feel and thinks they can help me please reply to me....my e-mail is ktykat91582@aol.com..thanks
Posted by JaneB on September 23, 2003, at 19:13:59
In reply to can someone please help me!!!, posted by ktykat91582 on September 23, 2003, at 17:26:03
> i have been seeing the psydoc for over a year now and she finally told me she thinks i am either A. Bipolar or B. cyclothymia. can someone please tell me in understandable terms about these conditions...she has put me on buspirone and lexapro..will these help me?..ive been on buspirone for 1 month now and i see no change..i feel like im getting worse...i feel like theres no point in life one minute but im exstatic about my life the next.i feel like im losing my mind and watching myslef go down the drain....i have 2 babies i need to think about and i really need some help and info on these conditions....hell i might just need someone to talk to about it.....but if anyone knows how i feel and thinks they can help me please reply to me....my e-mail is ktykat91582@aol.com..thanks
Could you give me a little more info. I am a grandma with 18 grandchildren and daughters who love being moms but one has need of an antidepressant. I have researched a lot and been helped by this board for 5 years. 1st question: Is Lexapro the first antidepressant you have tried?
Posted by BarbaraCat on September 23, 2003, at 22:47:15
In reply to can someone please help me!!!, posted by ktykat91582 on September 23, 2003, at 17:26:03
So sorry you're having these awful feelings. I'm bipolar and it's no picnic, but with the right meds life can be great. As you probably know, bipolar generally means a condition that is cyclic, going through the range of very high energy, impulsiveness, sometimes rage and irritability, spending sprees, not needing sleep, starting grand projects and not finishing them - that's the usual take on the manic side. The depression is the opposite, no energy, dreary, sleep alot, dead feeling, no interest in anything, feelings of worthlessness. Bipolar disorder has different levels of severity, from all out total disruption of life to moderate symptoms. The determining factor is that it is an alternating and cyclic pattern and the cycles last at least 2-3 weeks, sometimes for months, as mine did. Cyclothymia is similar to bipolar, but much less intense and cycling rapidly, sometimes up and down in the same day. The highs never reach the disordered frenzy that one sees in the severe bipolar manic phase and the lows are not as devastating, but the rapid cycling can be terribly frightening and exhausting.
Before I go into the next part and possibly alarm you, please know that you may indeed have a depressive disorder and your doctor is on the right track. Also, if what follows feels true for you, you shouldn't stop what you're taking or be afraid that you're being harmed by your meds. But you do need to act quickly with determination. Definitely do a web search on bipolar+antidepressants to understand how problematic this combination is, or on cyclothymia to arm yourself with more knowledge before seeing your psydoc. Take this post in if you want. So...
If you are bipolar, meds like Lexapro are among the worst you can be taking and it's no wonder you're not feeling better, and if anything, worse. Anything that is an SSRI, like Paxil, Prozac, Zoloft, Lexapro, has been shown to make bipolar disorder worse. Buspirone, or Wellbutrin, works on different neurotransmitters and has sometimes been used successfully, but it can be very activating without a mood stabilizer and can bring on a manic episode. In any event, this combination for a bipolar can be extremely destablizing. If your condition is in the bipolar family, it's no wonder you feel like you're climbing the walls.
I can speak from experience with this, having been diagnosed with major depressive disorder and put on every antidepressant out there. They worked at first and then stopped working and my doctor would then say 'Oh, guess you need a higher dose, or let's combine it with this different one'. I suffered unimaginably for 20 years before realizing my symptoms were bipolar, although not the classic highs/lows usually easily recognizable as bipolar. Mine were more like the opposite ends were converging into one disorder, a very agitated depression that is called bipolar mixed states.
If you have cyclothymia, you're still subject to becoming destable and swinging into the cycles by an activating medication, but not as severely. Antidepressants may be used, but only as an adjunct with primarily a mood stabilizer, such as lithium, depakote, tegretol, lamictal. I personally take lithium and lamictal which has worked beautifully for longer than other any med regimen. But there's no telling just what med is going to do the trick. Depakote has had good success with cyclothymia, but it really is trial and error. However, there is a group of meds that are indicated for these conditions and SSRI's are definitely not among them.
You really need to pursue this and if your doctor is not knowledgable about the dangers of medicating bipolar symptoms with antidepressants, I very strongly encourage you to find someone else. This is a very hot topic in the psychiatric world and I would hope she has some eventual strategy with this puzzling choice of meds rather than simply being out of the loop.
There's a book that has been extremely helpful for many of us on this board to determine if what we were experiencing was really bipolar related, and what kinds of medication should and should not be used. You can just click on the link and it will take you to Amazom.com where you can order it. Good luck and don't settle for inadequate treatment when there's definite hope for the way you're feeling. Feel free to keep in touch if you have any question. - BarbaraCat
"Why your depression isn't getting better"
> i have been seeing the psydoc for over a year now and she finally told me she thinks i am either A. Bipolar or B. cyclothymia. can someone please tell me in understandable terms about these conditions...she has put me on buspirone and lexapro..will these help me
Posted by JaneB on September 24, 2003, at 7:18:02
In reply to Re: can someone please help me!!! » ktykat91582, posted by BarbaraCat on September 23, 2003, at 22:47:15
Posted by Ponder on September 27, 2003, at 17:36:31
In reply to Re: can someone please help me!!! » ktykat91582, posted by BarbaraCat on September 23, 2003, at 22:47:15
Barbara,
Is it your position that SSRIs should be avoided altogether in bipolar patients, even if there is a stabilizer on board?
Posted by BarbaraCat on September 27, 2003, at 20:57:39
In reply to Bipolar and SSRIs » BarbaraCat, posted by Ponder on September 27, 2003, at 17:36:31
> Is it your position that SSRIs should be avoided altogether in bipolar patients, even if there is a stabilizer on board?
***Some people say that, but I think it's on a personal need basis. I was helped alot by Nortriptyline early this year and even tho' it's not an SSRI, it still acts similarly. There are a number of folks on this board who take ADs and mood stabilizers successfully. It's hard to keep track of dx's, but it seems that a good percentage of them are BP. My opinion from what I've read and personally is that one probably should take a mood stabilizer when on an SSRI whether they're BP or not.
I wonder what things would have been like if I'd added lithium to my zoloft all those years ago. My pdoc at the time kept trying to convince me, more for it's augmenting properties to prevent my meds from pooping out than for suspected BP. I recoiled in horror at the mention of lithium - that's for crazy folks and I was just severely depressed! Silly me. I might have gone happily along with the combo as others have done instead of ending up in the psych unit and one mixed state after another followed from there. The lack of mood stabilizer probably destabilized me into a more severe BP condition than I would have had otherwise.
I don't know why a TCA would work so differently from an SSRI-type med, but it does for me. I was taking Remeron for a few months as I was ramping up with lithium and Lamictal. I still felt very mixed statey, on the edge of doom all the time. It wasn't until I jettisoned the Rem that I started feeling OK. This was on the recommendation of another babbler who had gone through a similar experience. I can't take SSRI's any longer, even tho' they worked pretty well for awhile. I also wonder about Wellbutrin since it's not an SSRI.
If you haven't gone to this website, by all means do so. It has tons of information in it and one article goes thoroughly into ADs and bipolar. You may need to navigate to 'Home' to get the intro page:
http://www.psycheducation.org/depression/frameset.html
Posted by Cybele on October 9, 2003, at 13:59:53
In reply to Re: can someone please help me!!! » ktykat91582, posted by BarbaraCat on September 23, 2003, at 22:47:15
Your post was very useful to me, BarbaraCat. Thanks! I just started posting here, altho I've lurked here off and on. I am 42 and have been dx with dysthymia with atypical depressions starting around age 13, but 'dysthymia' never seemed to quite fit me. I go through long periods of feeling fine--years--then a depression will creep on, the prime symptoms of which are difficulty concentrating, agoraphobia, fatigue, and cooking/baking and eating too much. SSRIs screw me up something awful (very little REM sleep, I think), but Wellbutrin seemed to work fine when I took it 9 years ago. I'm now thinking that it wasn't so much the Wellbutrin working well as going off the Paxil, which triggered a fantastic hypomanic episode that essentially allowed me to get my life back on track.
I've been 'depressed' all summer after years without a depression (pregnancy and breastfeeding seemed to keep it away). My current doctor (I just moved to a new state) wants to explore the idea that I might be bipolar, so I am reading up on BP-II and mixed states. I just started Wellbutrin, and if I'm not better in a month she wants to add a mood stabilizer. I'll give it a try, as long as it is one that will help me pass up the buttered scones and lemon bars and lose some of this weight I gained over the summer!
Posted by KathyMall on November 8, 2003, at 23:05:42
In reply to Re: rapid cycling and mind noise, posted by sparkinark on September 26, 2002, at 12:10:44
Ive recently had some of these symptoms and it was terrifying for me.
It started around when i was 7 when i was laying on the couch and all of the sudden everything i heard was loud but i was the only one who could hear that everything was loud and also everything was fast to my eyes. It stopped for atleast 6 years and then it came back when i was sick because of a flu. It was in the middle of the night and i just woked up and i experienced everything i did when i was 7. But this time i could actually descibe it abit more. Every sound i heard, breathing, the wind, people talking seemed louder but only to me. My mind felt like it was racing and i felt different but i didnt know what it felt like. Anything that i saw moving like when im walking or running it would look like im going 2 times faster. It only lasted for like 2mins or as long as 10mins. It happened again 2 nights in a row. But then it stopped. It came back 6 months later when i got a cough.This would only happen in the middle of the night when im sleeping and it would wake me up. The only ways i could make it go away was to talk to someone or turn on the radio and listen.Please if you have experience this please contact me.
Posted by moosehaps on November 11, 2003, at 16:49:37
In reply to Re: Lithium Orotate, posted by BarbaraCat on September 13, 2003, at 14:46:24
Hello, I'm new to the board. Read a post of yours from October 22, 2002, while doing a search on hair loss! Became sidetracked from worrying about locks upon reading of your dread of passing the lobster tanks in the grocery store. I didn't know anyone else had a difficult time with this sort of thing. I've learned that when my already too attuned awareness of suffering and possible cruelty to animals, especially, is beginning to peak and torment me that a mega black emotional episode approacheth. Actually, I would welcome something that could numb me enough, short of dying, that is, that could diminish the sadness haunting my life over the plight of animals. Have 6 dogs and 1 cat, my children. Thanks to your post, I have a beginner's grasp of what a "mixed state" is. I've seldom, except on speed briefly 30 years ago, experienced anything like the euphoria commonly associated with bipolar, but what you talk about definitely sounds like my experience. Hope you and yours are happy and well, apologies for referencing comments so ancient you probably have moved on and forgotten them!
Kind regards and hope this isn't too much of a downer.
Posted by katia on November 11, 2003, at 17:30:24
In reply to Hypersensitivity to suffering » BarbaraCat, posted by moosehaps on November 11, 2003, at 16:49:37
HI,
I can definitely relate to the hypersensitivity with animals. I go crazy when I see animals suffer. I hate it. I even sense that animals are suffering when their owners don't take good care of them; like walking them everyday and not giving them enough attention and cuddles. That even drives me CRAZY. Sometimes, I'll go to extraordinary lengths to help an animal. and on the reverse, sometimes I have to stay in oblivion about it, otherwise I'd go mad.
I guess you could say it's related to my mood. It sometimes happens with people too, but rarer.
cheerio-
katia
Posted by moosehaps on November 11, 2003, at 19:53:41
In reply to Re: Hypersensitivity to suffering, posted by katia on November 11, 2003, at 17:30:24
katia,
I am grateful you shared your tender feelings for animals in response to my post. Do you think there's something wrong with us, I mean besides depression, that we can't stop noticing suffering? I sometimes have to ask myself, why can't I just get a grip and live with reality the way it is? I wonder if "stable" on meds equates with an ability to accept life on its own (screwed) terms. It's horrible to feel others' pain and know there's little you can do to change it. I'm not really feeling as bleak as this must read at the moment, just reporting on my typical emotional scenario. Love to you and all furry, finned or feathered loved ones. Will write perkier messages soon, I promise.
Posted by katia on November 11, 2003, at 22:04:32
In reply to Re: Hypersensitivity to suffering » katia, posted by moosehaps on November 11, 2003, at 19:53:41
Something that has occurred to me over the years, is that this empathy that I feel for animals when suffering and how affected I am by it probably is somewhat of a projection - a reflection for how I'm suffering. It's a way of comforting that aspect in ourselves that we somehow don't do directly or acknowledge. in other words, I don't always have compassion for myself.
I once was crying to my therapist about how lonely these poor little doggies must be and how I can't stand it! She asked me if I was lonely. And yes I was. I think it's (in some part) a reflection of how we're feeling inside projected onto animals.
that's my take on it. Not to mention, some people are just more sensitive than others. and sensitivity's a wonderful thing.
take care,
katia
Posted by moosehaps on November 11, 2003, at 22:51:01
In reply to Re: Hypersensitivity to suffering » moosehaps, posted by katia on November 11, 2003, at 22:04:32
katia,
I think I can take a cue from your insights and see what I can learn about myself the next time the animal blues hit. Maybe there's important information part of me is trying to communicate to the denser, everyday me that must, I guess, be very comfortable with being dense! Too soon to tell, but will report progress or lack of same. Your comments are very appreciated, thank you for replying.
Posted by katia on November 11, 2003, at 23:59:52
In reply to Re: Hypersensitivity to suffering » katia, posted by moosehaps on November 11, 2003, at 22:51:01
Sure, no problem. Just recently, I broke down crying and had all this compassion for myself enter me. I just sat with it for over an hour crying and being present with that intensity. It was really an amazing experience that I can't put into words, but felt so wonderful and relieving. It wasn't a pity thing. I want to take this as good sign that I'm improving because you know when you're in the thick of suffering and trying to just make it thru' the day the warrior aspect kicks in for me and I don't have it in me to have that compassion for myself or I'll crumble.
food for thought!
take care-
Posted by pixygoth on November 12, 2003, at 7:58:31
In reply to Re: Hypersensitivity to suffering » moosehaps, posted by katia on November 11, 2003, at 23:59:52
Oh you lovely people, it would be so good if the world could just stop being horrible to everything possible, and then you wouldn't have to feel so bad, about this anyway. I hope y' get better, but of course you won't lose your compassion - that will stick with you as what will turn out to be a great gift. It's hard to see "toomuch" compassion as a good thing, but maybe we can help to balance out the lack of it in others.
love and hugs
S
Posted by moosehaps on November 12, 2003, at 14:05:51
In reply to Re: Hypersensitivity to suffering, posted by pixygoth on November 12, 2003, at 7:58:31
Dear babblers of wise things,
Somehow, contemplation of your comments has shined a light for me into a dark direction I hadn't thought to begin: myself. I came upon a definition of humility that includes, "a perpetual quietness of heart," and to be "in a deep sea of calmness, when all around is seeming trouble." That's kind
of the direction my sails are set now, I think.
My perceptions are no doubt skewed without the above as a foundation.pxygoth - you speak as one whose meds have kicked in nicely, owing to the tone of optimism and support your post reflects! Hope this is truly for the case for you, and thank you for taking the time to post such kind words.
katia - ditto above, and if you have a little time, whenever, could you elaborate on where I might learn more about this warrior aspect, and how to restrain her when "battle stance" is not the appropriate response to our healing selves?
Prospect of crumbling - also not good.For what it's worth, have been on 75mg. Wellbutrin for about 2 weeks and do feel better, but wonder if my poor, fine hair will begin to leave me at some point.
Kind regards to all who read this.
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