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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 4760 to 4784 of 10407. Go back in thread:
Posted by Daphnis on July 23, 2003, at 23:05:40
In reply to Re: Effexor - what do u mean by imposter?, posted by mercedes on July 23, 2003, at 14:00:54
well, I'm way behind because I went to work and just got back, but will read through and see what lies ahead as well. but I'll answer this...
I have never felt like I belonged anywhere. I guess it's just the feeling I learned in my family. No one talked about anything real. and I was lonely at school. I was sort of anti-social. I think cause I didn't know how. funny, as now most of my life is people oriented. I did well and went to a good college but always wondered why they had accepted ME? Felt pretty lost all my life. Started getting help after college. A few pdocs. First one fell asleep, which didn't help the old lack of confidence. Had one I loved, for a year or so. He helped a lot. Married a wounded man and had two girls, now 21 and 18. Divorced in 93. He re-married, a woman half his age, just like my own dad did.
I went to grad school at 43 or so, and loved it, but I always felt I was doing things for wrong reasons. Taught freshman comp and world lit and British lit one year, and really felt like an imposter then!!! But I was just green, I guess...
Had trouble finding work after the fellowship, living in a very small town. Made bagels in a cafe starting at $4.25 an hour! I was overeducated and underskilled. Didn't belong at the university, didn't belong at the cafe, though it was actually basically a good interlude, despite the divorce happening then. I was learning that I could, indeed, take care of myself, even in difficult circumstances. I also realized I needed spiritual help, somewhere around 43, and joined a church, where I REALLY felt like an imposter, as I was an atheist for 30 years and have serious issues with any set of religious "laws". Maybe now, at 55, I am getting some realization that everyone muddles along, even if they act like they have it together, and I may feel like I deserve a place in the human race afterall. Not really there yet, I guess... It is really just serious feelings of inadequacy. Helpless and hopeless. that's the role I immediately revert to around my family. and it feels so familiar and so awful at the same time! OK. that's my attempt to describe feeling an imposter or always an outsider. I need a lot of solitude and isolate a lot, too. I think it's protective. I just take things too hard. Oh, one more place I felt an imposter...it took me YEARS in Al-anon to feel I really belonged there. I just kept saying: No one drank THAT much...no one was violent, etc. I didn't think the alcohol part was right, but I just knew everything I heard was familiar and helpful. At some point I told a counselor I didn't know if my dad was an alcoholic or not, but he carried a small suitcase bar in the trunk of his car, and gallon bottles of gin, rum, bourbon, etc. she just started to laugh...so...although I understand where the feelings come from, that doesn't make them easier to deal with. they still incapacitate me at times. I just despair, at times. Al-anon has given me some helpful tools to get out of it, if I can remember and make myself use them! phew! this site is like opening a window in a stuffy old house. It's great, but scary. Admitting vulnerability and needing help? Yipes.
Posted by Daphnis on July 23, 2003, at 23:23:48
In reply to Re: No imposters here » Daphnis, posted by CherC68 on July 23, 2003, at 15:38:19
wow, thanks Cher. I'm sort of bowled over by all the support. I realize the extent of family conditioning. Everyone was struggling but NO ONE talked about it. and Psychiatry and Psychology and/or any pastoral care were absolutely unthinkable. Instead of support there was criticism. I am sort of in shock, here, due to everyone's kindness.
I know there is genetic stuff in my family. I have serious mood swings myself. I've learned to recognize the brief (two hours?) manic elation and know that a low depression is coming that same day. and I have a bipolar nephew.
Posted by Yankeegirl on July 23, 2003, at 23:26:51
In reply to Re: Hi All... » willie, posted by CherC68 on July 22, 2003, at 19:22:37
> Thanks Willie, Susy & Kimberly & everyone for listening to my breakdown yesterday.
>
> I didn't go to the movies today, I'm a bit tired since I got up every 1-1/2 hours last night to drain the water in the basement. I'm conducting a test now to see how long it takes the hole to fill up. At least I can manually plug the pump in to drain - but I need to know the exact hours it takes to fill up. It's finally sunny here and no rain this evening predicted so hopefully the ground will dry up a bit.
>
> Yes, Eat A Peach has gotten to open up for some awesome bands, but The Wallflowers was the most fun by far, I got to sit on stage and hang out in the green room.
>
> Today I listened to some Poi Dog Pondering another favorite band and its more uplifting.
>
> I have a list of PDocs & Therapists, but no energy to actually call one of them. I see the hand specialists on Saturday and don't know how much out of pocket I will have to pay for the surgery, and don't want to start getting into debt with doctors since I just seen the dentist and that cost so far 200 out of pocket.
>
> I am hoping I don't have another breakdown like I did yesterday and since my husband and son will be home tomorrow - I should be fine. My son will always be home with me for now on when my husband is out of town, because I realize I'm much stronger when my son is around. (I have to be for him.)
>
> Thanks for getting me through a rough day yesterday everyone and thanks for listening.
>
> Hugs,
> Cher
>
> Hi Cher, I totally understand how you don't have the energy to call a pdoc. That is the major clue for me that I am depressed, is that a simple phone call is too overwhelming to accomplish. (I used to get seasonal affective disorder, or winter blues, and that was my main reaction to it)I don't know why nobody on this site talks about what they learn in therapy. My understanding is that the Effexor is only part of a successful treatment, that some kind of therapy is necessary too, for most people. Well, I've been on Eff 4 weeks, but today was the first time I actually had a talk with my pdoc. What a revelation! We went over the results of my psychiatric personality testing (called Minnesota something or other, I'll find out the name next week) where I answered about 700 true-false questions. I was diagnosed with depression and avoidant personality disorder. When she read the description of that from the (DSM?) book, I kept saying, "That's me! That's me!" I am SO HAPPY and EXCITED tonight. My problem has a name! They know how to fix me! They assured me I am fixable! I am so excited!
Cher, I urge you to make that one phone call for a pdoc. If you can't do it, maybe your son or husband will do it for you. I think that your mental health is more important right now than your carpal tunnel surgery. It's pretty scary for us to hear how deep in the depression you are right now, and I hope you can decide to put your needs first and foremost, for the first time maybe, and get the help you are needing. The hope I feel today is worth any amount of money. I am so excited about my pdoc helping me that I would do anything legal to pay for it - I'd even ask relatives for money. First I'd call all the ones who bullied me all my childhood - HA! "This is your fault - give me money!!!"
Seriously, please call a psychiatist today!
Sending caring prayers, Yankeegirl
Posted by Daphnis on July 23, 2003, at 23:27:54
In reply to No imposters, Cher is right!! » Daphnis, posted by zinya on July 23, 2003, at 15:52:27
ok. I think it's starting to sink in that I am ok here and welcome. Seems like a safe place. which is often sorely lacking in the "real" world. (I always think that is backwards, and this stuff is the REALITY.)thanks to everybody! I like the "posters" joke. good one.
Posted by Daphnis on July 23, 2003, at 23:36:11
In reply to No imposters, Cher is right!! » Daphnis, posted by zinya on July 23, 2003, at 15:52:27
Yes, Daph is better. Daphnis is the guy in the story. a blind, flute-playing shepherd! But I tried 'Chloe' and the name was already in use. Suppose I could use "Daffy"! but I try hard not to call myself crazy.
Posted by Daphnis on July 23, 2003, at 23:41:40
In reply to Daph-Effexor - what do u mean by imposter?, posted by KimberlyDi on July 23, 2003, at 17:00:51
Yeah. I feel like everyone can already see that I am worthless! Not like someday, but NOW! It's terrible self-doubt. I doubt everything I do. Always think I should be doing something ELSE!
Posted by Daphnis on July 23, 2003, at 23:48:13
In reply to Re: No imposters here, posted by Susy on July 23, 2003, at 18:03:44
Yeah. there's a helpful expression I try to remember: I'm comparing everyone else's outsides with my insides.
Posted by Yankeegirl on July 24, 2003, at 0:34:25
In reply to Re: Effexor - what do u mean by imposter? » mercedes, posted by Daphnis on July 23, 2003, at 23:05:40
> well, I'm way behind because I went to work and just got back, but will read through and see what lies ahead as well. but I'll answer this...
> I have never felt like I belonged anywhere. I guess it's just the feeling I learned in my family. No one talked about anything real. and I was lonely at school. I was sort of anti-social. I think cause I didn't know how. funny, as now most of my life is people oriented. I did well and went to a good college but always wondered why they had accepted ME? Felt pretty lost all my life. Started getting help after college. A few pdocs. First one fell asleep, which didn't help the old lack of confidence. Had one I loved, for a year or so. He helped a lot. Married a wounded man and had two girls, now 21 and 18. Divorced in 93. He re-married, a woman half his age, just like my own dad did.
> I went to grad school at 43 or so, and loved it, but I always felt I was doing things for wrong reasons. Taught freshman comp and world lit and British lit one year, and really felt like an imposter then!!! But I was just green, I guess...
> Had trouble finding work after the fellowship, living in a very small town. Made bagels in a cafe starting at $4.25 an hour! I was overeducated and underskilled. Didn't belong at the university, didn't belong at the cafe, though it was actually basically a good interlude, despite the divorce happening then. I was learning that I could, indeed, take care of myself, even in difficult circumstances. I also realized I needed spiritual help, somewhere around 43, and joined a church, where I REALLY felt like an imposter, as I was an atheist for 30 years and have serious issues with any set of religious "laws". Maybe now, at 55, I am getting some realization that everyone muddles along, even if they act like they have it together, and I may feel like I deserve a place in the human race afterall. Not really there yet, I guess... It is really just serious feelings of inadequacy. Helpless and hopeless. that's the role I immediately revert to around my family. and it feels so familiar and so awful at the same time! OK. that's my attempt to describe feeling an imposter or always an outsider. I need a lot of solitude and isolate a lot, too. I think it's protective. I just take things too hard. Oh, one more place I felt an imposter...it took me YEARS in Al-anon to feel I really belonged there. I just kept saying: No one drank THAT much...no one was violent, etc. I didn't think the alcohol part was right, but I just knew everything I heard was familiar and helpful. At some point I told a counselor I didn't know if my dad was an alcoholic or not, but he carried a small suitcase bar in the trunk of his car, and gallon bottles of gin, rum, bourbon, etc. she just started to laugh...so...although I understand where the feelings come from, that doesn't make them easier to deal with. they still incapacitate me at times. I just despair, at times. Al-anon has given me some helpful tools to get out of it, if I can remember and make myself use them! phew! this site is like opening a window in a stuffy old house. It's great, but scary. Admitting vulnerability and needing help? Yipes.
Hi Daphnis,There is SO MUCH in your post above that sounds familiar to me. We really do understand. I think we are all still trying to figure out what to do about it though! I was painfully shy as a little girl, and maybe being bullied by every male in my family kept me from getting over being shy. Even today, everything in my life has to be really good for me to be able to be social without overwhelming anxiety. If I receive any criticism, it just knocks me over for weeks. If I get actually rejected, well, that happened 2 years ago, and I basically went home, cried for 2 days, and pretty much just stayed home ever since. My pdoc (Psychiatrist) is going to talk with me about stuff from my childhood and how that affects me today, and also some cognitive tnerapy, which is something like keeping a journal to write down all those negative thoughts that automatically pop into our brain, and then actually stepping back to analyze if it is a rational thought, and gradually becoming more aware of the bad stuff we tell ourselves, and how to recognize it, and then stop it. I mention that because in your post above, there is a lot that sounds like automatic negative talk - "Why do they like ME" "my pdoc fell asleep so that means something is wrong with me" "everyone else has it together but I'm faking it"...
This is a wonderful, safe place. Even when sharing opinions that might not be welcome, people are careful to phrase it so that the other person isn't insulted, and they always respond with gratitude for the reply, even if they do disagree...
Good luck, and keep posting! Yankeegirl
Posted by Daphnis on July 24, 2003, at 0:53:53
In reply to Re: Effexor - what do u mean by imposter?, posted by Yankeegirl on July 24, 2003, at 0:34:25
Hello. Oh man! I am so bad at taking criticism that I can hardly be effective at work after an evaluation or a routine run in with my (dumb and unhelpful) superior! I internalize every bad message cause it jives with my bad self-image. Then I can't shake it but am angry at the same time. very debilitating.
I have incredible negative self-talk. I have been aware of this for several years now, but it is a long journey from awareness to change! I am making slow (and I mean very slow) progress, I guess. this is an improvement over my former attitude that no one can ever change, really.
yeah, rational-emotive therapy. It is hard to make that child listen to that adult! But I keep trying. thanks for the encouragement!
Posted by zinya on July 24, 2003, at 1:11:01
In reply to Re: Effexor - what do u mean by imposter? » mercedes, posted by Daphnis on July 23, 2003, at 23:05:40
Hi Daph,
hope you don't mind if i chime in here too... I had been prompted to ask you if you felt like talking about this more too, but i saw that Mercedes already had so i didn't want to bombard you but i am inspired to say a few things to your brave and honest post here.In some ways, face to face communication is always best, but i think there's a special role for cybercommunication and, ironically, even more so with people we don't "know" in a group like this, which can liberate us to 'test the waters' of voicing things that sometimes we feel silly or awkward or embarrassed to tell even a close friend - sometimes just because like in that great quote you cited -- even our close friends and family - we can easily come to compare their "outsides" to our "insides" (i really liked that - thanks!)
We have some interesting things in common - we're the same age. And i too went back to grad school the lasted through my 40's practically. My dad too was alcoholic, and i too didn't really come to realize it til i was mid adulthood. He had quit drinking when i was 3, when mom gave him an ultimatum, but as you know, an alcoholic is always an alcoholic and there are certain key "personality traits" of alcoholism that persist, and they leave strong messages/imprints on kids.
I had divorced much younger than you did and don't have children (but some great god-children) so obviously there are differences too
But i can certainly relate to your sense of not fitting in, being different. I had some very distinctive differences about myself growing up that made my childhood esp. from age 6 on feel very much "on my own to figure out life" with a sense of being loved but not a lot of daily support for "who i really was" but instead feeling just enough of that need to please and a sense of expectations. I was outwardly fairly social but had an inner life that was completely at odds and one in which i felt absolutely like i didn't fit.
I think the biggest thing that has helped me -- and only since my divorce (after a marriage that exponentially worsened my sense of self, daily critiqued and belittled) -- has been to decide both that nobody really fits in (kind of like your quote) but also a sort of sense or motto almost that "weird is good" :)) ... But that doesn't always 'work' as a mental strategy by a long shot and certainly not while depressed and anxious.
It took a long time (including the last 15 years of periodic trials with anti-deps that never worked) to really finally think that maybe i have been dealing with depression for a long time, maybe since a car accident when i was 6 even that totally disrupted my life... And I increasingly think my dad was dealing with depression all his life too, never treated except by the false treatment of his alcoholic years... So maybe it's even genetic.
Who knows. But it took coming to a sort of rock bottom after i lost my mom this last year, and i sunk into quicksand that became eventually paralyzing and suffocating at times. So here i am.
Sometimes i babble on here ad nauseum, like now. Other times, i lapse out cuz i have zero energy even to write. But i am here and welcoming you sincerely and always open -- well i think i am, I try to be anyway -- to sharing such explorations of what it is that stymies us. Already i've found what an irreplaceable place this site is.
with warm good wishes, Daph,
zinya
Posted by mercedes on July 24, 2003, at 1:12:33
In reply to Re: No imposters, Cher is right!! » zinya, posted by Daphnis on July 23, 2003, at 23:36:11
Daph, I think we can all relate to being Goofy, Daffy, Grumpy, Sleepy, sometimes even Crazy on this site. You made me laugh which is good medicine. Welcome and thanks for being open. You'll find some real caring folks here.
Looking fwd to hearing more from you,
Mercedes (not Dodge or Ford, but Mercedes! :)
*****************************
> Yes, Daph is better. Daphnis is the guy in the story. a blind, flute-playing shepherd! But I tried 'Chloe' and the name was already in use. Suppose I could use "Daffy"! but I try hard not to call myself crazy.
Posted by zinya on July 24, 2003, at 1:23:19
In reply to Re: No imposters, Cher is right!! » zinya, posted by Daphnis on July 23, 2003, at 23:36:11
aha! so that was your inspiration. Well, we could call you Ravel sometimes too :)) I have this immediate impression you'll make some beautiful music here :)
but Daph seems nice so that it is ... and now that you explained, i'll hear echoes of 'afternoon of a faun' when i open a post from you. That's pretty cool!
[and now, just as a tiny example, i'm thinking "oh dear am i mixing up composers and songs with the wrong symphonies?" - typical of my constant self-doubt - and almost went to look it up before saying something stupid but stopped myself and thought, "No, if there's any place i can just let myself be stupid, it should be here" :) so if i've mixed everything up, just laugh at me .. or with me. This feels therapeutic, not to go having to make sure i'm saying the right thing :)
so thanks :) ... and sweet dreams,
z.
Posted by indium on July 24, 2003, at 6:16:32
In reply to Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR?, posted by Bridget on July 11, 2003, at 13:50:55
anyone any thoughts on the difference between effexor XR and immediate release effexor? For me 375mg of XR is amazing. the only thing that's ever worked, but of course that's more than allowed to be prescribed. 375mg of original effexor only just takes the edge off. Anyone know why the prescribable doses are different or hwo to take the immediate release stuff so it has anything like the effect of the XR?
Posted by indium on July 24, 2003, at 6:16:51
In reply to Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR?, posted by Bridget on July 11, 2003, at 13:50:55
anyone any thoughts on the difference between effexor XR and immediate release effexor? For me 375mg of XR is amazing. the only thing that's ever worked, but of course that's more than allowed to be prescribed. 375mg of original effexor only just takes the edge off. Anyone know why the prescribable doses are different or hwo to take the immediate release stuff so it has anything like the effect of the XR?
Posted by Daphnis on July 24, 2003, at 7:35:51
In reply to Re: Effexor - what do u mean by imposter? » Daphnis, posted by zinya on July 24, 2003, at 1:11:01
thanks for the welcome, zinya. I can't wait to respond to stuff you say, but have to go to work. (I have a funny schedule and work some days and some evenings.) I was eager to check in here this beautiful morning. Two cheerful things to start a day. Unusual. Waking up is ALWAYS one of my worst lows, chemically.
Posted by Daphnis on July 24, 2003, at 7:40:58
In reply to Re: No imposters, Cher is right!! » Daphnis, posted by zinya on July 24, 2003, at 1:23:19
That's funny (and reassuring) cause I had to go look up who Daphnis was last night! I just knew it was Daphnis and Chloe. Music is very important in my life, too, but more later.
Posted by willie on July 24, 2003, at 7:51:18
In reply to Anyone had success on Effexor XR? , posted by jp on October 24, 1999, at 14:59:14
Good morning ladies.
Daphnis...There is a book out on the market that I recommend you pick up or see if your local library has a copy. It is called Adult Children of Alcoholics Syndrome by Dr. Janet Woititz. Actually I stongly recommend this book to anyone whose had a parent who was/is an alcoholic. This book was mentioned to me by my therapist during my counselling. It's a wonderfull book and helped me discover that I was not crazy. It seems children of alcoholics develop certain characteristics as of a result of their childhood. You can see what you can find online about it but the book really helped me understand why I feel as I do. The guilt, fear of abandonment etc.
Zinya...I'm actually from Ontario..not too far from Toronto. My doctor just prescribed the 37.5 dosage of XR (I never realized that there was effexor and effexor xr). I just picked up my 3rd refill of 100 pills. He never mentioned to me about the different dosages and the only follow up we did was via email about a month after I began taking it and I recently emailed him again because of the bruising and weight gain.
He called me at home (he's the best doc..and he goes by Dr. Bob too...how funny is that??) and we talked about the effexor. I told him I was still experiencing some OCD so he suggested I stay on the drug for a while longer. He did mention that If I come off too early that the axiety could become worse than before. He also explained that anxiety is a learned behaviour and even though we may reason that, our body/mind may not. I didn't get too into the conversation as I'll be going to see him sometime in Novemeber and I'll get the details then.
Anyway...gotta get to work...talk to you all later..Willie
Posted by midgie1007 on July 24, 2003, at 8:04:43
In reply to Re: anyone had weight gain? » midgie1007, posted by mercedes on July 23, 2003, at 15:04:14
See I could believe the 'lack of energy/motivation' on Paxil. I fell asleep everytime I sat down, but on prozac I was very energetic. I ran at least 20 miles a week and lifted weights. The pounds did not budge!
Of course, at the moment, I'm taking miniscule doses of effexor xr. The side effects of nausea, insomnia, general wooziness, jaw tension, etc have been pretty strong for me.
Posted by Scooter1 on July 24, 2003, at 8:43:06
In reply to Re: anyone had weight gain?, posted by midgie1007 on July 24, 2003, at 8:04:43
Good morning everyone, hope you are all feeling well today. I myself had I would say a good day yesterday. I have been on 37.5 for 9 days now and finally most of the SE's are gone. I am still having problems sleeping at night. I take my dosage ar 12:00 in the afternoon. Today I go see a pdoc. This will be my first time ever, I wonder what he/she will say. I am very curious. Tomorrow I go see a psychotherapist that is through my job. I hope they both have some great insight to my anxiety. I have also been reading a book on overcoming anxiety, long term. I mentioned earlier that being away from my family is really quite bothersome for me. My husband was prior military and that is what took us away from our immediate family, because of job and finances we were unable to move back closer to home, which is down south. I am currently living in the D.C. area, to busy here for me, and all everyone thinks about is there job..... I am more along the thinking that family is more important. I really enjoy hearing the experiences of all of you, knowing that I am not alone in this world with issues, some worse than others, some not as bad. I hope you all have a great day, and I will post you on what the pdoc says. scooter1
Posted by catachrest on July 24, 2003, at 8:51:17
In reply to Re: No imposters here » Daphnis, posted by CherC68 on July 23, 2003, at 15:38:19
Hi Cher, I'm Susan.
I know I'm new here and don't really know you guys yet, but I have to say - please, don't self-medicate with a prescription that's not yours!!! Yikes! If you feel Xanax will be better than what you've taken in the past, please, see a doctor about it, or at least talk to a knowledgeable pharmacist first. Sharing medicines without a doctor's supervision is just not a good idea, especially medicines designed to mess with your head.
Concerned,
Susan>>
> Right now I have a prescription for Xanax (which is not mine a friend gave me hers!)
>
>
Posted by KimberlyDi on July 24, 2003, at 9:14:57
In reply to Re: Cher, Susy, Kdi, Theo, Zinya, Mercedes, posted by willie on July 23, 2003, at 19:02:36
It was me who mentioned the "faking it" part. I wonder if it stems from my lack of assertiveness in demanding what I want out of life. Or it stems from my very strict mother who let me know at an early age that what I wanted wasn't important.
Anyways, dosages. I've found that regular doctors prescribe AD's with fewer follow-ups than pdoc's. Pdoc's have follow-ups bi-weekly or so until you reach a "therapudic(sp?) level".
KDi in Texas
Posted by KimberlyDi on July 24, 2003, at 9:21:18
In reply to Effexor XR » KimberlyDi, posted by Daphnis on July 23, 2003, at 22:29:09
Regular Effexor is absorbed into the body quicker than XR (which means Extended Release). This means that I have to take the Regular Effexor twice a day, instead of the 1-a-day XR. My insurance has a cheaper co-pay for the Regular Effexor than the XR Version. There may be other differences that I'm not aware of.
:)
KDi in Texas> Hey KDi, what IS the difference between Effexor and Effexor XR?? I looked it up on Google but only got info on effexor XR so thought I was mistaken and it must be all the same.
Posted by KimberlyDi on July 24, 2003, at 9:43:11
In reply to Re: Hi All..., posted by Yankeegirl on July 23, 2003, at 23:26:51
Yankeegirl,
Thanks for the laugh this morning. The "I'm fixable" remark was so funny. I'm currently suffering from a relapse in depression. I had to half my dosages over the weekend to avoid running out. The full dosages haven't kicked in yet or I need to go to a higher dose. Your remark about even a phone call seeming overwhelming struck a chord. I have some bills to pay but I keep putting it off. I have the money in the bank. I'm just overwhelmed by the thought of finding the bill envelopes and writing out a check.Oh, and THANK YOU! The upping the dosage remark I made, it made me wonder when my next appointment with the p-doc is. It's TODAY at 4:00!
KDi in Texas
> > Hi Cher, I totally understand how you don't have the energy to call a pdoc. That is the major clue for me that I am depressed, is that a simple phone call is too overwhelming to accomplish. (I used to get seasonal affective disorder, or winter blues, and that was my main reaction to it)
>
> I don't know why nobody on this site talks about what they learn in therapy. My understanding is that the Effexor is only part of a successful treatment, that some kind of therapy is necessary too, for most people. Well, I've been on Eff 4 weeks, but today was the first time I actually had a talk with my pdoc. What a revelation! We went over the results of my psychiatric personality testing (called Minnesota something or other, I'll find out the name next week) where I answered about 700 true-false questions. I was diagnosed with depression and avoidant personality disorder. When she read the description of that from the (DSM?) book, I kept saying, "That's me! That's me!" I am SO HAPPY and EXCITED tonight. My problem has a name! They know how to fix me! They assured me I am fixable! I am so excited!
>
> Cher, I urge you to make that one phone call for a pdoc. If you can't do it, maybe your son or husband will do it for you. I think that your mental health is more important right now than your carpal tunnel surgery. It's pretty scary for us to hear how deep in the depression you are right now, and I hope you can decide to put your needs first and foremost, for the first time maybe, and get the help you are needing. The hope I feel today is worth any amount of money. I am so excited about my pdoc helping me that I would do anything legal to pay for it - I'd even ask relatives for money. First I'd call all the ones who bullied me all my childhood - HA! "This is your fault - give me money!!!"
>
> Seriously, please call a psychiatist today!
>
> Sending caring prayers, Yankeegirl
>
Posted by KimberlyDi on July 24, 2003, at 9:54:13
In reply to Re: Anyone had success on Effexor XR?, posted by indium on July 24, 2003, at 6:16:32
My Pdoc told me that Immediate Release (IR) Effexor isn't equivalent to Effexor XR. 375mg IR doesn't = 375mg XR in effectiveness. You would probably have to take more of the IR, broken into 4-6 hr dosages, all day to come close to the XR version.
That's just my 2 cents worth.
KDi in Texas> anyone any thoughts on the difference between effexor XR and immediate release effexor? For me 375mg of XR is amazing. the only thing that's ever worked, but of course that's more than allowed to be prescribed. 375mg of original effexor only just takes the edge off. Anyone know why the prescribable doses are different or hwo to take the immediate release stuff so it has anything like the effect of the XR?
Posted by zinya on July 24, 2003, at 9:59:30
In reply to Re: Daphnis and Zinya, everyone, posted by willie on July 24, 2003, at 7:51:18
hi Willie (and Daphnis and all),
You've made me smile at the coincidence. I too highly recommend Woititz's book (and just to let you know, Dr. Bob likes us to use a system of this website where you put a book title inside double-double quotes and it automatically finds the book in amazon and links to the page in amazon, where people can read more about it and potentially buy it -- so I'll do it here "Adult Children of Alcoholics".)
I read it myself back in the late 80's as well as its sequel "Struggle for Intimacy" and found them invaluable. As it happens, I became a family communication professor and you'd be amazed how many college kids deal with an alcoholic parent and I too routinely found myself recommending this book to students who always found it very helpful. What's so particularly good about the book, imo, is its concrete focus on specific habits of mind and language that a child of an alcoholic (or of really any kind of addictive pattern -- any '-holism') assimilates growing up and become part of our sense of "normal" but are really quite dysfunctional patterns. I think it's an invaluable and very practical book for almost anyone actually. Those who study "dysfunctional family" patterns claim that over 90% of families could be called dysfunctional, something related to why I chose that field of work because I believe so strongly in just how fundamental early childhood socialization is in the lives of all of us ... and even to society as a whole.
So, we're very much on the same page, Willie! I think originally it must have been a therapist of mine who also first turned me on to Woititz as well as a couple of other authors but she stands out because her analysis is so concrete, so full of specific examples of how we carry on inside our minds the legacy of such worldviews. By the way, I always think it's important to add that for me at least, this is not at all about scapegoating or blaming parents. They themselves grew up under dysfunctional family patterns and, until someone begins to see what it is they have 'inherited' -- which is one of the blessings of our era, that such topics are now more "out of the closet" and that there are places like this website and more access to therapy, etc. -- our parents were stumbling in the dark and also had internalized lots of dysfunctional patterns from their parents. So, imo, it's important to read and undertake such reflections with empathy for one's parents as well, rather than a sense of blame or guilt, etc.
As to what you say about your dosage levels, gosh, Willie, November seems like a long time off. It is great that your md. will use e-mail, but given your uncertainty about things (granted, i realize you're wanting to see first if a change at work alters your current concerns) but i would certainly not wait that long to put your questions to him -- about whether he considers 37.5 to be the maximal dose for your situation. It sounds like he expects you to only be on it for a few months? Since every diagnosis is unique, none of us can know why he would choose a particular dosage max. or why, but I'd try if i were you to at least put those kinds of questions to him so you feel you at least know what his thinking is more clearly about why this level and what the goal is, plus letting him know your specific symptoms as they evolve.
hope you're having a good day!
zinya
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